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Bleep
Stranger
Registered: 01/09/06
Posts: 45
Last seen: 14 years, 5 months
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Totem animals and very poor health/depression.
#5872227 - 07/18/06 02:56 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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Sometimes I think I must be so insane that either I am one of the gifted few who see the truth or I am just actually insane and should seek professional help.
Anywho, a little background. Throughout my teenage years I suffered from very very bad deep depression periods, of which I chose to learn to live with rather then seek medication for, hoping that nature would fix me on its own, and it finally did a year ago after my first mushroom trip. The facade of day to day living receeded and I was able to see the true beauty of living.
Now here I am, many years later, finding myself in the same state once again. I don't enjoy good tasting foods, I get only physical enjoyment out of sex and feel almost nothing but negative feelings and emotions most of the time.
I am out of touch with my spirit, I almost feel abandoned by it, I felt my body mind and spirit as one during most of my mushroom trips and for months after, but it seems gradually it decayed and I have began to contemplate if this depression is punishment for something.
Then, through a dream it hit me. During my last mushroom trip I could not help but think of Cows, everywhere. Sitting on the toilet tripping I was seeing a tribal bull in the middle of a windcatcher in the tiles of my bathroom floor. I played warcraft that night and my character is a Tauren (half-man/cow to those who do not play), when i layed down during the trip and fell asleep I had a dream of rolling in verdant green meadows with many of our furry milk producing friends alongside me.
This depressionary period has a direct effect on my physical health as well. I look very gaunt, pale and tired most of the time. I have not done any drugs in the last two months period and I do not consume alcohol and have made no diet changes.
Anyone who has a little knowledge of shamanism knows of totem animals, and I believe that to be a good a sign as any of my totem spirit making itself known. I also believe this depression could be a direct effect of my stupidity of realizing such a thing and yet still consuming them as food.
Tommorow I am swearing off of red meat for good. I have too much in my life from these animals to continue the consumption of them.
Well, from your freak flag flying high friend, here is to better mental health as a result of lifestyle changes.
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leery11
I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,998
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
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Re: Totem animals and very poor health/depression. [Re: Bleep]
#5872495 - 07/18/06 06:11 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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i'm having skim milk right now.
part of my vegetarianism is for the animals, well, most of it is.
I suppose mass produced milk isn't really right.
what mass produced is?
that's an interesting thing, if they are your totem animal then it is definitely best not to eat them. they are also responsible for the creation of mushrooms.
-------------------- I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo! ....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human...... Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!
Edited by leery11 (07/18/06 06:12 AM)
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The_Hobbit
Bilbo Baggins


Registered: 04/06/04
Posts: 1,382
Loc: The Shire
Last seen: 16 years, 10 months
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Re: Totem animals and very poor health/depression. [Re: Bleep]
#5880067 - 07/20/06 01:11 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Bleep said: Now here I am, many years later, finding myself in the same state once again. I don't enjoy good tasting foods, I get only physical enjoyment out of sex and feel almost nothing but negative feelings and emotions most of the time.
I am out of touch with my spirit, I almost feel abandoned by it
This depressionary period has a direct effect on my physical health as well. I look very gaunt, pale and tired most of the time. I have not done any drugs in the last two months period and I do not consume alcohol and have made no diet changes.
I also believe this depression could be a direct effect of my stupidity of realizing such a thing and yet still consuming them as food. Tommorow I am swearing off of red meat for good. I have too much in my life from these animals to continue the consumption of them.
These are the main things that seem like problems to me.
Basically, you need to embrace a healthy lifestyle. Check out the post I made in this thread. http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Cat/0/Number/5873455/an/0/page/0
A healthy lifestyle also includes a good diet. You will need to research that.
Now, I cannot say for sure whether or not eating meat is a bad thing. However, from a purely logical point of view, it seems natural to me. Other animals eat other animals. We are animals, so why not?
I suggest that you look at your problems from a rational point of view and make the decisions necessary in order to change. It all comes down to the choices you make. Are you going to base your reasoning on imagery that you had on a shroom trip alone? I can tell you for sure - that is not the way to go. You have to analyze what the imagery means, like a dream, and understand how and why it effected you. Then, you can decide if that effect means something or not. Honestly, bro, I could not say. That is up to you. However, it seems to me that it could just be a detail based on what you know. I saw my eyes turn black in a mirror while shrooming. That doesn't mean I'm an evil spirit with no soul. That just means I saw my eyes turn black.
-------------------- Smoking my hobbit leaf... Please keep in mind that I am just a human being. Please read my posts carefully and interpret their meaning for yourself.
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