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Extreme Depression
    #3693921 -

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post something like this in, but I think I just need to let my feelings out somewhere. I've felt extremely depressed for about a year or two now. I'm still in high school and have felt increased amounts of depression. I have tried to ignore the small things that depress me, but I have been finding it harder and harder to bottle up. Like recently I've been questioning who my friends really are. I feel like I don't fit in anywhere. We have a great time when we are together during lunch, but it's only this small group of friends I have. Throughout the rest of the day, I don't know anyone else. I'm very quiet in class; I have nothing to talk about with anyone else, so I rarely converse with them at all. I start to wonder if my "friends" really even want me around. I sometimes think they talk behind my back. Some of my better friends who I've known since elementary school have stopped hanging out with me and go out with other crowds of people, not inviting me or anything. It seems to me that no one wants me around, so why should I bother taking up space? Never being recognized as anyone, asked to move just so other people can sit by their friends. I perceive myself as an invisible, just a space filler nobody even sees. I feel of no importance to anyone. At least I have finally spoken my inner emotions.

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Re: Extreme Depression [Re: AxXe]
    #3693955 -

Indeed, having gone through much of the same thing myself, I can tell you that those are most unpleasant feelings. Depression is actually very common among adolescents. Much more common than most would admit to. You are not taking up space. You are alive, and that is no mistake. You might want to consider seeing a doctor to go on an anti-depressant, as your depression could be due to faulty brain chemisty.

People can truly be assholes sometimes. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself, and don't be afraid to show everyone who you really are inside. You are you, and you should be damn proud of it.

Being quiet is only a bad thing if you make it so. There is much to be said about simply listening.

Also, never question yourself, it will only do harm.

Good luck with everything my friend, and hope to see you around here.


--------------------
"What is in us that turns a deaf ear to the cries of human suffering?"

"Belief is a beautiful armor
But makes for the heaviest sword"
- John Mayer

Making the noise "penicillin" is no substitute for actually taking penicillin.

"This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it, or their revolutionary right to dismember or overthrow it." -Abraham Lincoln

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Re: Extreme Depression [Re: AxXe]
    #3695070 -

Sometimes, some of us wish we could tell others things that help without hurting, but the truth really stares each of us in the face. For some of us its quite intense and we still have to carry on with our lives with a disenchanted disposition.
Don't worry if people like you.
Don't worry how many friends you have.
Don't worry how sincere people are.
Just be.
Just live.
Be the best you can and focus on doing your best for yourself and for others.

Its hard to love when you feel there's no real love out there, but in the least don't let this defeat you or put you in a corner. Work around it.

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Re: Extreme Depression [Re: AxXe]
    #3695273 -

Try smiling. Honestly, it is wholly possible to change your mood entirely by just smiling. Remember that everyone else is a person, too. Try asking how someone is feeling or just some other simple human communication. Humans are social creatures, and lack of interaction can easily cause depression. If changing your habits, getting out more, you may want to see a doctor.


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"I'm afraid of losing my obscurity. Genuineness only thrives in the dark. Like celery."
- Aldous Huxley

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Re: Extreme Depression [Re: AxXe]
    #3696295 -

AxXe said:
I'm not sure if this is the right place to post something like this in, but I think I just need to let my feelings out somewhere. I've felt extremely depressed for about a year or two now. I'm still in high school and have felt increased amounts of depression. I have tried to ignore the small things that depress me, but I have been finding it harder and harder to bottle up. Like recently I've been questioning who my friends really are. I feel like I don't fit in anywhere. We have a great time when we are together during lunch, but it's only this small group of friends I have. Throughout the rest of the day, I don't know anyone else. I'm very quiet in class; I have nothing to talk about with anyone else, so I rarely converse with them at all. I start to wonder if my "friends" really even want me around. I sometimes think they talk behind my back. Some of my better friends who I've known since elementary school have stopped hanging out with me and go out with other crowds of people, not inviting me or anything. It seems to me that no one wants me around, so why should I bother taking up space? Never being recognized as anyone, asked to move just so other people can sit by their friends. I perceive myself as an invisible, just a space filler nobody even sees. I feel of no importance to anyone. At least I have finally spoken my inner emotions.



aim = ShroomeryMan0310
yahoo = JettaJay071584
icq = 320049007

use these if you need to talk bro


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I saw a little green light buzzing around in a tree, and it dawned on me that "they" were here
~~~LouiseLouise


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Re: Extreme Depression [Re: AxXe]
    #3698451 -

That's what it was like for me, too. I fucking hated high school. But the few people I did hang out with are now my best friends. Don't worry dude it will all be over soon. College is much easier; the academic pressure is higher but the social pressure is non-existant. You should try and hang on to your friends, and remember to just be yourself.


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Re: Extreme Depression [Re: SWEDEN]
    #3702568 -

High school is one of the worst places I have ever been.

Instead of trying to "fit in" you should just "be the best you can be" as someone else above said. If I've learning anything, you should be social, talk to anybody about anything, and most importantly, find something outside of society that interests you.

Of course it's easier said than done to overcome this feeling at a time in life such as yours...


--------------------
Delicious Pizza

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Re: Extreme Depression [Re: Society]
    #3702674 -

SocietyRejects said:
High school is one of the worst places I have ever been. 

Instead of trying to "fit in" you should just "be the best you can be" as someone else above said.  If I've learning anything, you should be social, talk to anybody about anything, and most importantly, find something outside of society that interests you.

Of course it's easier said than done to overcome this feeling at a time in life such as yours...


Oh so true.

AxXe: You're certainly aren't alone in this. I was pretty much the same way, and there are many, many others who go through this as well. People in HS are incredibly "cliquey", gossipy and rather two-faced, I've observed. But the good news is that HS is only a small part of your life, and it gets much, much better when you graduate and mature. :laugh:

Edited by Le_Canard (01/30/05 05:01 PM)

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Re: Extreme Depression [Re: Le_Canard]
    #3702700 -

Hang in there. Life started for me after high school, I resemble nothing of my high school shelled-in self these days. It's literally like two different lives.

You'll find yourself


--------------------
To find a place to live between the negatives and positives.

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Re: Extreme Depression [Re: Holydiver]
    #3706829 -

High-school is a bitch, thats for sure. I went through some similar things. It's so easy to tell someone just not to worry about it, but it doesn't work like that. I'd recommend takin up a hobby. When I started goin through some real tough times I took up the guitar, I don't really play it too much anymore unless I'm down. Also journaling, wow. Journaling may sound a little fruity but it's not like a, "Dear Diary..." whatever. Just start writing your feelings/thoughts/views/opinions or whatev down on paper and then stand back and take a look at them. A lot of times we can see where our thinking pattern is goin off the rail just by seeing them on paper. From personal experience anti-depressants were a waste of time and money, but they do work for some.
Pills didn't work for me
but God did.

Peace and Love,


--------------------
"It's bad enough that you sell your waking life for minimum wage, but now they get your dreams for free."

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Re: Extreme Depression [Re: AxXe]
    #3706853 -

i lived pretty much your same story starting freshman year in high school and extending until junior year.  it was not a fun experience, nowhere to go on the weekends (my parents would joke and say that i'm grounded and the terms are that instead of going to my room, i have to leave the house...they didn't know how much it hurt me but i couldn't talk about it) and like 2 friends to talk to at lunch, mostly i just went home and made some food.  well, it was hard and lonely but i met some new friends junior year and now a couple of them are my roomies at college.  i'm surrounded by a ton of friends and i'm loving life.  high school can be a BITCH.  hang on!! :heart:


--------------------

ca'rouse (k-rouz)
intr.v.
To engage in boisterous, drunken merrymaking.

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Re: Extreme Depression [Re: TODAY]
    #4316481 -

Same situation freshman through sophmore year... i would feel o.k. and then find no people to hang out with all my friends are gone. its like i didnt have anyone there for me... i eventully broke down ended up in my room for 3 days not talkin i didnt come out for anything i had turned to stupid shit, i would get high to forget about it but that only made it worse then i started cutting... you dont want to go there... i still have scars... but what got me through it
i started reading up on manic depression, bipolar, mental health (i do enjoy reading and gaining knowlage of situations i might have) and i found that i did alot of the things it said makes people depressed

i ended up finding this website and as cheesy or conry as it sounds it helped me alot http://www.brainplace.com/bp/

this is the part that i did the most i did every single one of these 3. Kill the ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts) That Invade Your Brain
The thoughts that go through your mind, moment by moment, have a significant impact on how your brain works. Research by Mark George, MD and colleagues at the National Institutes of Health demonstrated that happy, hopeful thoughts had an overall calming effect on the brain, while negative thoughts inflamed brain areas often involved with depression and anxiety. Your thoughts matter.

I often teach my patients how to metaphorically kill the ANTs that invade their minds. ANTs stand for Automatic Negative Thoughts. The ANTs are automatic. They just happen. But they can ruin your whole day, maybe even your life. For example, I once treated a college student who was ready to drop out of school. He thought he was stupid because didn't do well on tests. When his IQ (intelligence level) was tested, however, we discovered that he had an IQ of 135 (in the superior range). He just wasn't a good test taker. I have identified nine different kinds of ANT species, or ways your thoughts can distort incoming information to make you feel bad. Here are four ANT species:

Mind reading --- predicting you know that another person is thinking something negative about you without them telling you. I often tell my patients that, "A negative look from someone else may mean nothing more than he or she is constipated. You don't know. You can't read minds. I have 25 years of training in human behavior and I still can't read anyone's mind."

Fortune telling -- predicting a bad outcome to a situation before it has occurred. Your mind makes happen what it sees. Unconsciously, predicting failure will often cause failure. For example, if you say, "I know I will fail the test," then you will likely not study hard enough and fail the test.

Always or never thinking - this is where you think in words like always, never, every time, or everyone. These thoughts are overgeneralizations which can alter behavior. For example, I have a friend who asked out an attractive woman. She turned him down. He told himself that no one will ever go out with him again. This ANT prevented him from asking out anyone else for over nine months.

Guilt beatings -- being overrun by thoughts of "I should have done... I'm bad because…. I must do better at… I have to…). Guilt is powerful at making us feel bad. It is a lousy motivator of behavior.

You do not have to believe every thought that goes through your head. It's important to think about your thoughts to see if they help you or they hurt you. Unfortunately, if you never challenge your thoughts you just "believe them" as if they were true. ANTs can take over and infest your brain. Develop an internal anteater to hunt down and devour the negative thoughts that are ruining your life.

Once you learn about your thoughts, you can chose to think good thoughts and feel good or you can choose to think bad thoughts and feel lousy. You can train your thoughts to be positive and hopeful or you can just allow them to be negative and upset you. That's right, it's up to you! You can learn how to change your thoughts and optimize your brain. One way to learn how to change your thoughts is to notice them when they are negative and talk back to them. If you can correct negative thoughts, you take away their power over you. When you think a negative thought without challenging it, your mind believes it and your brain reacts to it.

the more i went on this website the more i found that the people on here do care about you, i think this site and overgrow got my through alot aswell... it was nice comin on to read what other people had to say about things...

for every situation i think atleast 10 people on this site have been there... if u want to talk about things give me a pm... im always on and i know what its like...

Peace


--------------------
"Take me koalas back jack... take my koalas back, he lives somwhere out on the track mack... so take me koalas back"

"Tie me kangaroo down sport, tie me kangaroon down!"

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Re: Extreme Depression [Re: Impulse101]
    #4319401 -

Ya I think I may be going through that now. I will be a senior next year and I sorta feel alone and empty even when I am with my friends. They talk and Im the one who sits and listens. I feel like I should be saying something but I cant think of anything to say. I also have cut back on weed alot because whenever I smoke I think I get anxiety or something. I have been trying to eat healthy and excercise which has helped to some degree. I also am taking up guitar soon. People associate me with the 'typical stoner' and I don't know how to show anything different.

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Re: Extreme Depression [Re: AxXe]
    #4319896 -

well..if you are suffering from such symptoms for soo long, I think you should seek professional help. Go see a psychiatrist.
There are a lot of drugs that may help you. Even exercises and yoga and meditation may be of immense help.

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