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OfflineNewbieShroomer
member

Registered: 10/01/01
Posts: 199
Loc: San Diego California Baby...
Last seen: 15 years, 8 months
Beginner TEK _ For NEW NEWBIES
    #458031 - 11/14/01 01:20 PM (15 years, 10 months ago)

HEy All!!! I missed my pms up till today but I will ANSWER
EVERYONE who has written to me that is in my box :) By the end of the day. UHm, I have been unhappy with the newbie info out there and * gulp * have decided to start writing newbie teks. Hopefully I am good enough by now to help others. Below is just the initial start i wrote in the last half hour. Let me know if ya think I have what it takes to finish it :) Workin on it more now, all suggestions welcomed :)



NEWBIE SHROOMERS BEGGINERS GUIDE TEK ( whew! )


If you are reading this you are either NEW at growing Mushrooms,
or you just like to read anything yummy that passes under your eyes. Well, regardless of why you are here, I hope you enjoy my ramblings...

This guide is an Overview of the materials, time, cost and preparation of
everything Shroomy for the Beginner. This is NOT a tek to tell you
specifically how to go about cultivation. Merely a list of facts and
tips for those of us who are starting from the beginning.




Part 1

Updated 11-14-2001

Inotroduction

So You want to grow Shrooms. You may want to grow just for yourself, or you might want to become a shroom king who produces and deals in mass quantities. The Various teks available on the web are all different. EVERY SINGLE ONE. Many are very similar, but they tell you to do different things, many are not dated, many are horribly out of date, and some are even wrong. The state of information regarding the Newbies initial production of shrooms is confusing and spread to the four winds.
Where is the Newbie supposed to go? Who will he turn to? Who is in my head?
So many questions... Here, let me ask just one more... QUESTION: What's a Newbie to do? ANSWER: Listen to Newbie Shroomer!

Why Me? Because I have shrooms on the brain. Because though I am not very experienced * Blush * I do come home from work every day and spend several hours tending to my ever amazing, ever growing Fungus Farm. No more Late nights playing pool, no more watching tv, even my sex life has suffered. I am obsessed. The Ideas below are a collection of material learned from the masters of yesterday, and the innovators of today.


OK, You have read the PF tek, You've read the MMGG, You've read Psilly Simons Grow guide. You are confident, full of enthusiasm, bursting to tell someone, anyone that you have attained insider knowledge pertaining to the Fruit of the Gods. You my friend are a master of your own destiny ready to become a Full Fledged Drug Producer. A dream Come true, eh? NOT YET! So, What now?

Grab your own flavorite Newbie Cultivation Tek, and lets get started.
( I recommend the Magic Mushroom Growers Guide )


MATERIALS

Overview

Ahhhhh, Materials.... That is a GREAT start to any Fledgling business.
In fact, you really need to have your shit together when it comes to shrooms.
Let me say one word here: TIME. Every time you need to run back to the store for lysol, tin foil, vermiculite, BRF, lube, sheep ect... YOU are going to lose time.
And when you lose time, you take shortcuts. BAD NEWBIE! DO NOT TAKE SHORTCUTS IN YOUR INITIAL EXPERIMENTATION. When growing shrooms, the key is STERILITY.
I Cannot Emphasize Sterility enough. But we will talk more on that issue later,
unless, you don't love me anymore, in which case I will kill myself instead.
And we don't want that now... Do we?!?!?!


Main Entry: ster?ile

1 a : failing to bear or incapable of producing fruit or spores b : failing to produce or incapable of producing offspring c : incapable of germinating d of a flower : neither perfect nor pistillate

2 a : unproductive of vegetation
b : free from living organisms and especially microorganisms c : lacking in stimulating emotional or intellectual quality :

YES!!!!! READ THE ABOVE & BURN IT INTO YOUR BRAIN!!!
UNDERSTAND that the Mushroom needs A STERILE SUBSTRATE to grow.
Plants need Soil/Shrooms need STERILE substrate.

CLEAN, CLEAN, CLEAN, CLEAN = Enviroment, work area, your person, your tools.


You have your materials READY, so you do NOT take shortcuts on sterility and so you do not have to extend the time period to grow waiting for the damn store to open because it's 3 in the morning. Er, maybe thats just me tho... ;0)


So, when we talk about materials, lets start with everything we need to
get the cakes made and ready for terrariums, casing, ect. Everything up to that point. Many of these items are optional, some you really don't need at all,
but why not have everything the first time, just in case?





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OfflineNewbieShroomer
member

Registered: 10/01/01
Posts: 199
Loc: San Diego California Baby...
Last seen: 15 years, 8 months
Re: Beginner TEK _ For NEW NEWBIES [Re: NewbieShroomer]
    #458070 - 11/14/01 01:54 PM (15 years, 10 months ago)

An update... Is anyone even reading my crap? Is it that bad?

* SPORES/SPORE SYRINGES *

Ahhhhhhh, Easily the most important decision you need to make when contemplating Mycology. All the time I see people on the boards whining " But I placed my order
three months ago and I want to get started, my stuff isn't here yet!! " Sniveling Idiots. Place MULTIPLE orders your first time out. You WILL NOT regret this. You will get materials regularly in the mail that way, and not get stuck behind some zoned out, overworked, fry-brained vendor.

Personally the first time I ordered I used three vendors and got a free spore print from Ralphsters Free Spore Ring ( If you haven't gone there yet, What are you waiting for? Great deals and a Spore Print for a dollar!! )

So look to spend about $50 to $60 bucks on spore stuff out the gate. This will give you all of the raw materials you need to be successful or learn great new ways of fucking up without tapping out on the wild wind.

What do you get for $60? Shop around. Ask for deals when you can. Give them the pity trip that you are a newbie and have had to actually BUY shrooms in the past.. * shudder * They will cry with you and give you free shit... Just kidding. Really tho,
with 60 bills you should be able to get around three syringes full of stuff, 5 or so empty syringes, and 3 or 4 prints. Just need to scout yer sources.


So think about it. for one initial payout you can get:

* 3 full syringes
* 5 empties
* 4 prints


That is ALL you will need for a LONG time if you are even halfway sterile :)


( Side Note: When choosing your vendors be sure that thier recent track record is good. Talk to them via email or IM personally. Do NOT go thru anybody who:

A. Is having troubles with the law
B. Seems to always send things 2 other people 2 months later
C. Has a poor reputation for product quality
D. Always has to defend themselves/products publicly on the boards
E. Likes to have sex with dead people.

Thats it! Investigate the people you will be sending your money to, as your overall success can live and die with the quality of spores the send. )


* JARS *

When the Newbie jumps over to the Shroomery, he is often told that he should start small, learn the life cycle of the mushroom, blah blah blah. Newbie Shroomer says: FUCK THAT NOISE. My advice, start with 24 jars. 12 half pints you will begin work with, and 12 full pints which you will start working with a week after the halves are done. But thats down the road.... I haven't even written it yet! But but the time you get there... *ack!* I'm trippin, let me breathe a minute...Ahhhhh, Thats better... Lets Continue....

This way, even if you experience Massive Contams, you are covered. And if all your jars pull thru, then you can begin experimenting with your cakes as you see fit.

Things to remember about Jars:

1. You NEED them. They are perfect for fungus farming.
2. You WILL want lots of jars going, they are inexpensive, so why not?
3. Jars ARE fun to look at in the sun, see how they sparkle and shine?







--------------------
If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.

Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
..........................................
http://www.Mycotopia.net
..........................................


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Offlinemagicmike
Stranger
Registered: 11/12/01
Posts: 19
Last seen: 15 years, 6 months
Re: Beginner TEK _ For NEW NEWBIES [Re: NewbieShroomer]
    #458079 - 11/14/01 02:09 PM (15 years, 10 months ago)

good stuff. Keep going, I am reading it all. Also very funny.


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OfflineShdwstr
FSRCanada
Male

Registered: 02/18/01
Posts: 2,156
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Last seen: 3 years, 9 months
Re: Beginner TEK _ For NEW NEWBIES [Re: NewbieShroomer]
    #458083 - 11/14/01 02:13 PM (15 years, 10 months ago)

Interesting and colorful writing style... I'm just not sure if many "newbies" would benifit from it. But please, carry on... Cant wait to see if the Prince gets the Princess and defeats the evil troll. jk

Shdwstr


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InvisibleInsomnia
addict
Registered: 07/18/00
Posts: 345
Re: Beginner TEK _ For NEW NEWBIES [Re: Shdwstr]
    #458092 - 11/14/01 02:30 PM (15 years, 10 months ago)

I'd cleanse all references to producing schedule 1 narcotics for profit (e.g., "fledgling business"), and omit such references in the future.

Other than that, do your best. Also, make sure people understand that this is from your experience. There are countless ways of growing saprophytic mushrooms -- even for newbies.

Peace.


--------------------
"If you believe in things you do not understand, you will suffer." ? Stevie Wonder


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Offlinelemming
evil

Registered: 10/28/01
Posts: 107
Last seen: 12 years, 1 month
Re: Beginner TEK _ For NEW NEWBIES [Re: Shdwstr]
    #458094 - 11/14/01 02:31 PM (15 years, 10 months ago)

you there, carry on.
carry on I say!


--------------------
As evil as a dwarf can get...


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OfflineNewbieShroomer
member

Registered: 10/01/01
Posts: 199
Loc: San Diego California Baby...
Last seen: 15 years, 8 months
Re: Beginner TEK _ For NEW NEWBIES [Re: NewbieShroomer]
    #458135 - 11/14/01 03:05 PM (15 years, 10 months ago)

Ok, gotta run to the chiropracter, but here is an update, and, ALL suggestions will be taken it :) Thank you guys for the comments so far, see ya in an hour :)

* SPORES/SPORE SYRINGES *

Where to get: Multiple Vendors can be found on the Forest Floor and the Shroomery.

Ahhhhhhh, Easily the most important decision you need to make when contemplating Mycology. All the time I see people on the boards whining " But I placed my order
three months ago and I want to get started, my stuff isn't here yet!! " Sniveling Idiots. Place MULTIPLE orders your first time out. You WILL NOT regret this. You will get materials regularly in the mail that way, and not get stuck behind some zoned out, overworked, fry-brained vendor.

Personally the first time I ordered I used three vendors and got a free spore print from Ralphsters Free Spore Ring ( If you haven't gone there yet, What are you waiting for? Great deals and a Spore Print for a dollar!! )

So look to spend about $50 to $60 bucks on spore stuff out the gate. This will give you all of the raw materials you need to be successful or learn great new ways of fucking up without tapping out on the wild wind.

What do you get for $60? Shop around. Ask for deals when you can. Give them the pity trip that you are a newbie and have had to actually BUY shrooms in the past.. * shudder * They will cry with you and give you free shit... Just kidding. Really tho,
with 60 bills you should be able to get around three syringes full of stuff, 5 or so empty syringes, and 3 or 4 prints. Just need to scout yer sources.


So think about it. for one initial payout you can get:

* 3 full syringes
* 5 empties
* 4 prints


That is ALL you will need for a LONG time if you are even halfway sterile :)


( Side Note: When choosing your vendors be sure that thier recent track record is good. Talk to them via email or IM personally.

Do NOT go thru anybody who:

A. Is having troubles with the law
B. Seems to always send things 2 other people 2 months later
C. Has a poor reputation for product quality
D. Always has to defend themselves/products publicly on the boards
E. Likes to have sex with dead people.


Things to remember about Spores:

A. Do NOT touch them with your hands, Use tweezers & a scalpel.
B. You can contaminate your entire print with ease, be careful.
C. Anything you can see, is thousands of spores
D. Contrary to popular Belief, Shroom Spores are NOT good to snort.


Thats it! Investigate the people you will be sending your money to, as your overall success can live and die with the quality of spores they send. )



* JARS *

Where to get: Vons, Ralphs, K-mart... Call around locally and let them know you need Wide Mouth TAPERED jars. Price check and then roll out and pick up your shit! :0)

When the Newbie jumps over to the Shroomery, he is often told that he should start small, learn the life cycle of the mushroom, blah blah blah. Newbie Shroomer says: FUCK THAT NOISE. My advice, start with 24 jars. 12 half pints you will begin work with, and 12 full pints which you will start working with a week after the halves are done. But thats down the road.... I haven't even written it yet! But by the time you get there... *ack!* I'm trippin, let me breathe a minute... In Fact, Breathe with me! Breathing is very important in Mycology, Meaning do NOT BREATHE on your Cultivation equipment or anything you are using. Ahhhhh, Thats better... Lets Continue....

This way, ( starting with 24 jars ) even if you experience Massive Contams, you are covered. And if all your jars pull thru, ( Three Cheers for the Newbie in all of us! ) then you can begin experimenting with your extra cakes as you see fit.

Things to remember about Jars:

A. You NEED them. They are perfect for fungus farming.
B. You WILL want lots of jars going, they are inexpensive, so why not?
C. Jars ARE fun to look at in the sun, see how they sparkle and shine?
D. Lids facing up or down, doesn't appear to matter, no worries.


* TOOLS *

Where to get: Medical Supply Stores, Home Dept, Wallmart

Oh Boy! Tools! Chainsaws, Arc Welders, Back-hoes... Oh wait, Thought I was writing the redneck version of my guide, damn. My Bad. Forget everything I just said. :0P

Here are some of the things you might need + how and where to get them.

1. Scalpel: I have been told that a sharp knife will work instead of a scalpel for moving spores about.

BUT, what you don't hear often is that the damn spores are attached to whatever they are on like gold on a t.v. evangelist. Gotta pry that shit off. Scalpels are not only easier to use, but easier to sanitize.

When you buy your scalpel, Try going to a medical supply store and getting a STAINLESS STEEL scalpel with extra tips. Home depot also carries these but not nearly as nice and not stainless.

( Tip: Your scalpel will become important in MANY aspects of your operation, be sure you have a nice one. Keep it where you will not end up sitting on it or the next time you use it you'll be cutting stitches out of your ass. )


2. Tongs: You never hear about this one either, but tongs can save you from contaminating your materials as well as some pretty bad burns. Pick up tongs at a thrift store used or cheaply anywhere they sell tongs. :0D

( Tip: Make sure your tongs are all metal, rubber/plastic parts hold water and
can contaminate and drip all over, and besides, they look far more menacing all stripped down.


3. Tin Foil: YES!!! For those of us who love tin foil, but have no excuse to play with it, Shroom Cultivation is a dream come true! Tin Foil will become a staple supply right up there with VERM. You will be going thru 25 square feet of tin foil like a fat person goes thru fried chicken. Trust me, Buy 2 Boxes. It's even easier if you get the foil that tears away in sheets. Good Stuff. And Remember, Newbie Shroomer's details are the Bomb Baby, You gotta come to me for the good stuff, the other guys are to boring, and detail-less... :)

( Tip: Buy a lot, Really. It's cheap, it's useful, you will need it, and it goes quick. )


4. Alcohol: You will need to get very drunk before you start... Oh, thats my sex life... * ouch! * Er, Rather you will need rubbing alcohol for many things as well.
From Constructing a sediment free alcohol lamp, to rubbing it all up and down your hands an arms before an oven tek this stuff is important.

( Tip: create an alcohol lamp by shoving cotton balls in a shot glass and setting on fire. Light just prior to any kind of jar innoculation. )


5. Peroxide: Great stuff, Use peroxide in the water you boil to sterilize jars,
use it in your casing mix, use it on yourself, great germ killer. If ya can, go to a medical supply store and get the good stuff, but, if'n ya don't, no worries.

( Tip: Using peroxide in your ears once a week is good for you, simply pour capful in ear, wait until bubbling stops, drain and use a q-tip. )






--------------------
If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.

Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
..........................................
http://www.Mycotopia.net
..........................................


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Offlinebabyshroom
addict
Registered: 09/09/01
Posts: 456
Loc: Florida
Last seen: 13 years, 5 months
Re: Beginner TEK _ For NEW NEWBIES [Re: NewbieShroomer]
    #458140 - 11/14/01 03:15 PM (15 years, 10 months ago)

I think you're fucking hilarious. Half a dozen batches down the road here, but I picked up a few tips from what you have so far. I think newbies can get a lot from this.


--------------------
I don't really know anyone who grows mushrooms. I just come here for fun.


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OfflineNewbieShroomer
member

Registered: 10/01/01
Posts: 199
Loc: San Diego California Baby...
Last seen: 15 years, 8 months
Re: Beginner TEK _ For NEW NEWBIES [Re: babyshroom]
    #458304 - 11/14/01 06:07 PM (15 years, 10 months ago)

Thank You BabyShroom!

:)

I appreciate that.
I am posting the full version up in a few minutes, it's FINALLY done


--------------------
If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.

Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
..........................................
http://www.Mycotopia.net
..........................................


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Invisiblephrozendata
Carpal Tunnel

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 04/24/00
Posts: 5,015
Re: Beginner TEK _ For NEW NEWBIES [Re: NewbieShroomer]
    #458321 - 11/14/01 06:18 PM (15 years, 10 months ago)

Also, take out any irevelent information: such as saying you're going to kill youself blah blah blah.


--------------------
"There's only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving and that's your own self. So you have to begin there, not
outside, not on other people" - Aldous Huxley


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Offlinelucky420
journeyman
Registered: 04/26/03
Posts: 59
Last seen: 1 year, 7 months
Re: Beginner TEK _ For NEW NEWBIES [Re: phrozendata]
    #1635227 - 06/15/03 04:32 PM (14 years, 3 months ago)

So, uh, NewbieShroomer where is the final version, im lookin forward to seeing it :smile:


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OfflineDionysus
Initiate

Registered: 06/11/03
Posts: 117
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 13 years, 3 months
Re: Beginner TEK _ For NEW NEWBIES [Re: lucky420]
    #1635232 - 06/15/03 04:36 PM (14 years, 3 months ago)

I would be interested in it as well  :grin:


--------------------
"To arrive at the edge of the world's knowledge, seek out the most complex and sophisticated minds, put them in a room together, and have them ask each other the questions they are asking themselves."


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OfflineZutroye
Duke
Registered: 06/12/03
Posts: 301
Last seen: 6 years, 6 months
Re: Beginner TEK _ For NEW NEWBIES [Re: Dionysus]
    #1635276 - 06/15/03 04:54 PM (14 years, 3 months ago)

Yeah me to, this guy is funny


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Anonymous

Re: Beginner TEK _ For NEW NEWBIES [Re: Zutroye]
    #1636284 - 06/16/03 01:54 AM (14 years, 3 months ago)

THIS JUST IN: "Man found dead at his computer. Police are not releasing much information, but they have stated the internet forum that he was looking at had not been updated in 2 years, they suspect he died while waiting for the update."


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Offlinekukusz
Owner of belowhot monkey!

Registered: 05/10/03
Posts: 519
Loc: East Coast
Last seen: 7 years, 9 months
Re: Beginner TEK _ For NEW NEWBIES [Re: four20snakeman]
    #1636287 - 06/16/03 01:55 AM (14 years, 3 months ago)

ROFL 420... seriously people, read the date on posts you found in a search, they may be DOA.


--------------------
All of my posts are for discussion purposes only. All posts concerning cultivation of mushrooms refer to legal gourmet mushrooms only. Yes, I support monkey-human relationships.


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