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OfflineRedNucleus
Causal Observer
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Registered: 02/27/01
Posts: 4,074
Loc: The Seahorse Valley
Last seen: 8 days, 18 hours
Ever been bullied when you were younger? I know many of us have. Come and lets talk about it.
    #4538613 - 08/15/05 05:32 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

I was bullied by verbal belittling and taunting all through school, from elementary to high school. I didn't ever understand why, (I was very skinny, I guess) but it made me grow up a very shy person, afraid of being outgoing and constantly in fear of being embarrased and put on the spot about it. There was nowhere for me to go in school for help. If I went to a principal then I'd be a wuss for that and probably get jumped one day. I was too weak to fight anyone, so it just continued. I never told my father, who I didn't live with. I was always too embarrased to tell him. My mother was no help at all.

I'm 20 now, and I am no longer shy or afraid to introduce myself, or dance, but I am still awkward when it comes to conversation with people, or hitting on/dating/seducing women. I just ended a 10 month relationship I had with a wonderful, beautiful girl (if I showed you her picture you'd want to kill me probably), because my social skills are so sub-par that I feel like I need all my time to myself to improve them, but she was no social butterfly (good social skills but no social interest), so we had to split up. I couldn't improve my social skills if I had a girlfriend who I just stayed home with all the time.

So now I'm single, and, of course, super lonely. I'm taking a chemistry class so I've only gone out here and there. In a few days it will be over.

Anyway, I didn't have any request for advice. I just know that many of you were in the same boat as me as a youngin, and I want to know how you've dealt with yourself and your mental scars. So let's just talk about it.


Edited by RedNukleus (08/15/05 07:38 PM)


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InvisibletrendalM
point of inflection
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Registered: 04/17/01
Posts: 19,376
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Re: Even been bullied when you were younger? I know many of us have. Come and lets talk about it. [Re: RedNucleus]
    #4538649 - 08/15/05 05:42 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

I was the subject of bullying when I was younger, and delt with it in much the same way that you seem to have delt with it.

For me, in a small school, there was just one bully who I had to put up with a lot. By the end of elementary school he had become one of my best friends, and did not bully anyone anymore! I think I can claim almost full credit for that one. I started offering him gifts and "prizes" (small toys, candy, ect) if he could go a day without picking on me. I think it only took a month or two of this before he wasn't picking on me at all anymore - and we had actually become friends. After that he just seemed to pick on less and less people until he wasn't a "bully" at all anymore! :smile:

If only all people could be so malleable :grin:


--------------------
You're here because you know something.
What you know you can't explain,
But you feel it;
You've felt it your entire life.
That there's something wrong with the world.
You don't know what it is, but it's there....
Like a splinter in your mind...
Driving you mad.


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OfflineRedNucleus
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Registered: 02/27/01
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Re: Even been bullied when you were younger? I know many of us have. Come and lets talk about it. [Re: trendal]
    #4538702 - 08/15/05 05:54 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Yeah. I always felt bad for not having the balls/brains to rectify the situation. I remember now that I had Asperger's syndrome (I wasn't diagnosed, I only learned about it last year, but that was me as a kid, 100%. "A little professor.") and it's basically having an analytical mind that makes one a "nerd" and makes it real hard for one to relate to people.

I wish learning I had asperger's was any help at all. But since my time of drug use (DXM pot tons of alcohol) at the end of high school, I'm not the same at all. I don't quite have that asperger's mind: always thinking, always a storm of emotion. I'm dulled a lot, mentally, but that's in the past and there's nothing I can do. On the other side of the coin, I still don't have a normal personality either. The drug use makes growing up and leaving my childhood awkwardness behind all the more difficult.


Edited by RedNukleus (08/15/05 05:57 PM)


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OfflinePlok
Life is fractal
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Registered: 09/08/04
Posts: 1,150
Loc: Los Angeles
Last seen: 10 days, 13 hours
Re: Even been bullied when you were younger? I know many of us have. Come and lets talk about it. [Re: RedNucleus]
    #4539106 - 08/15/05 07:27 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

This one kid used to try to push me around for a few years back in elementary school.  He was just a jerk to me. 

I saw him for the first time in 10 years just recently.  Now I'm a foot taller than him and have been far more successful than him in a number of ways.

Needless to say, the vibe was completely and totally different.  It was cool  :cool:


--------------------
Just say NO to the War on Drugs.


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Offlinefreddurgan
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Re: Even been bullied when you were younger? I know many of us have. Come and lets talk about it. [Re: Plok]
    #4540936 - 08/16/05 03:42 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

I wasn't bullied as much as just..ignored and or made fun of. One kid knew a secret about me and threatened to tell people..made me feel like shit. Other than that it wasn't that bad.

I just saw that kid today and we had some good convo. No problems at all.

And do you really think Aspergers Syndrome is real? Sounds like something made up after the fact by someone who was bullied as a kid. The DSM IV can suck my balls.


--------------------
Ishmael
http://www.ishmael.org

Ron Paul 2008!
http://www.ronpaul2008.com/


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Offlineleery11
I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/25/05
Posts: 5,998
Last seen: 1 year, 7 months
Re: Even been bullied when you were younger? I know many of us have. Come and lets talk about it. [Re: freddurgan]
    #4543307 - 08/16/05 07:51 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

In middle school a bunch of people started picking on me and my friend thinking we were gay (also they made fun of a disability i have). It was pretty horrible for me through all of 6th and 7th grade and permanently fucked up my personality. As a child I was happy, outgoing, I'd talk and speak my mind to anyone who would hear and I could easily make friends.

The teasing subsided in 8th grade and died in HS aside from band members giving me a general shit time, but they did that to everyone. But my personality never really fully recovered.

I didn't have it bad in terms of violence or physical threats, but the emotional damage was tremendous all the same.

"So now I'm single, and, of course, super lonely. "

Yeah that pretty much sums it up. I have little confidence with the ladies (see my thread I just made for more details) on account of those experiences I guess. I'm also really really self-conscious about a facet of myself I have no control over thanks to being "teased" about it. But I'm trying to improve this stuff and it's working gradually.


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!


Edited by leery11 (08/16/05 07:55 PM)


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Offlinedrtyfrnk
PresidentialCandidate 2008
Male

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Loc: Ontario, Canada
Last seen: 7 years, 1 month
Re: Even been bullied when you were younger? I know many of us have. Come and lets talk about it. [Re: leery11]
    #4546178 - 08/17/05 11:44 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Yeah, I was bullied by a bunch of people in public school and a bit of high school (grade 9 and a bit of 10)

It was pretty bad, mostly just verbal, never beaten up or anything, but it was very bad verbally. Well, I dealt with it from grade 7 - 10. Very bad emotionally for me. I was an outcast at school, had maybe 2 friends when in public school.

Well, after that, I have been out of HS for a while now and have seen all my bullies outside school and they have all apologized to me personally for bullying me and asked for forgiveness. Seriously. I was totally shocked when they did that. But I did forgive them for it, they just wanted to fit in they said.

No problem with that man. We all tried to fit in. I was just happy that they all apologized.


--------------------
It's Krang, Bitch!  :krang:


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InvisibleIcelander
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Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 93,974
Loc: underbelly
Re: Ever been bullied when you were younger? I know many of us have. Come and lets talk about it. [Re: RedNucleus]
    #4546266 - 08/17/05 12:13 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

I was very insecure as a kid. Because I didn't make friends, I became a target of gangs in highschool. I took quite a few beatings. It took me many years to overcome my shyness and I still retain aspects of it. I may never be a completely confident person but I have come much farther then I ever though was possible for a "loser" like me. :grin: I tend to look out for the insecure types now and try to befriend them. I know how much it can mean to you if you have just one person who accepts you as you are and likes you. I know this because I never had it. Now I have great love in my life. I struggled to become something of the person I always wanted to be and I attracted a most amazing partner who accepts me just as I am.

Never give up on yourself. It took me until 50 to really start to find myself.( don't think it need take you this long, I'm slow  :grin:) Had I given up I wouldn't be having all of this fun with you all right now.

Thanks for starting this thread. :thumbup: :heart:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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