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Dog Lover

Registered: 04/24/04
Posts: 6,762
Poetry Feeback Thread
    #4529863 - 08/13/05 12:56 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

After having posted a few poems in a few places. I would like to have some feedback or discussions about the real meanings in some of the Poems I write or your Poems:thumbup:. Now listen people I am not looking for building blocks for Ego's......... I am looking to find out if the real meanings in my or your poems has been understood by the reader or if it is too easly missed. The entire point of why I write Poetry is to share my life's experiences and lesson's learned and express them in a new way to be flipped and examined with an intent to convey how I felt at the time of experience. Whew......

Anyway I will post a few Poems but one or two at a time and anyone who wishes to talk do so. If you have a poem that fits into the theme of the current discussion feel free to post. This is more of a Poem dissection thread than a Look at my poems please thread

My sweet Julie Ann

Tender biss came from a kiss
Says the woman in Dawn colored stains

Her and I have twisted torn cries
Says the woman in a rainbow of pains

Hearty love flew on a wave that I knew
Says the woman of chance turned bleak

Regret does spin whirl and wind
Says the woman of high despair deep

Death fight will award medals of delight
Says the woman for hope found no home

Blood runnning fast thru time never last
Says the Woman without dirt lives alone

Questions last when sorrow fires past
Says the Woman in Dawn colored stains

Desperate understanding is all that I ask

Says I, says I, says I
From the broken black mask

Circle Cells

Ceaseless beats breath one's years
Rhythmical linger with measured chime

Would their perfect moments end in tears
Delicious diligence mocks scorched time

Harbored, tied and boxed so slight
Alpha brighter to darkness alive

Can sprung dreams hold viciously tight
Plateau obscured seeds deep inside

Wind warped driven Saint of lies
Fill my basket and here my cries
When will I fly and soar above the rest
Wrinkled flesh and torn soul was my best

Red stains and black coal hearts
Are what set I and them apart
Blooming hero's in painted masks
The same, the same with bi-polar tasks

Trapped boxed freedom so bitterly close
Life and time are but ego's silly hosts
Fabricated cells so blush and new
Comes to an end and gives no clue

Edited by Fucknuckle (08/13/05 01:05 PM)

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General Interest >> Music, Art, and Media

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