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OfflinePowerTrip
Polypharmaceutical Shaman
Male

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 03/07/05
Posts: 1,148
Loc: The void
Last seen: 4 years, 9 months
Need advice on how to deal with a gay guy at work.
    #4284792 - 06/11/05 11:44 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

There are some pretty cool people at my work.  Most of them are lazy bastards but I get along with them which can be rare at some workplaces.  There is one guy I work with who always seemed really cool to me.  Some of the other guys like to start shit and I almost got into a fight with one but this guy was always a good guy.  Let's call him "T" for the purpose of my story. 

Well last week T was telling me about some things that happened to him over the weekend.  In telling his story, he happened to mention that he was gay.  I was very surprised by this because the thought had never even crossed my mind that he might be gay.  I wanted to be cool about it because like I said he was always trying to be friends with me when some of the other guys came off like assholes.  T also mentioned at some point during that story that he prefers to date younger men.  I happen to be 8 years younger than him.  I didn't really think much of it at the time..

A couple days later as I'm working he approaches me and strikes up a conversation again.  He is just saying the usual talk at first, shooting the shit as I call it, talking about the other guys we work with etc..  Then he mentions that he said to the other guys that if I keep dressing sexy he is going to have to pull me in the back room.  It really weirded me out when he said that but I just laughed it off and took it as a joke.  He then went on to say more things that seemed like he was hitting on me.  He said that he told the other guys that he thinks I should be a model.  Part of me wants to believe that I'm just being paranoid but if it were a girl saying these things to me there would be no doubt in my mind that she was trying to hit on me.

I never talk about women or my personal life with the people I work with.  That means I never talk about women or girlfriends.  I suppose this lack of "guy talk" maybe could have led him to believe that I might be gay or something.  I've never been the type of guy to bullshit a story about getting women but I'm considering telling him how I brought a girl home from a bar or something just to convey the message that I'm not at all gay.  If anyone has any advice on how I should deal with this guy I would really appreciate it. 

There is one very hot girl at my work.  Why couldn't it be her hitting one me?  :mad2:


--------------------
I spit reality, instead of what you usually learn
and I refuse to be concerned with condescending advice
cause I'm the only motherfucker that can change my life


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Invisiblelooner2
ABBA fan

Registered: 06/20/04
Posts: 3,849
Re: Need advice on how to deal with a gay guy at work. [Re: PowerTrip]
    #4284992 - 06/12/05 01:38 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Punch him in the face when no one is looking!


--------------------
I am in love with Acidic_Sloth



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OfflineUlisSausage7
seattle
Male

Registered: 02/19/05
Posts: 466
Last seen: 10 years, 1 month
Re: Need advice on how to deal with a gay guy at work. [Re: looner2]
    #4285037 - 06/12/05 01:49 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

try mentioning in a convorsation that you have a girlfriend and its getting serious or something like that. if i was ever hitting on a girl and she mentioned her boyfriend (do this in a non threatening way) i wouldn't be as interested. so subtley bring it up


--------------------
Marx said:
good luck with the microscopy 

:whistling:


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InvisibleJellric
altered statesman

Registered: 11/08/98
Posts: 2,261
Loc: non-local
Re: Need advice on how to deal with a gay guy at work. [Re: PowerTrip]
    #4285407 - 06/12/05 03:06 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

It's really simple. Get across to him in a nice way that you respect him and you'd like him to also respect the fact that you are straight. If he doesn't accept that then gradually ratchet up the disaproval until he reaches his discomfort level.


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I AM what Willis was talkin' bout.


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Offlinenancy1
Stranger
Registered: 06/12/05
Posts: 21
Last seen: 11 years, 4 months
Re: Need advice on how to deal with a gay guy at work. [Re: Jellric]
    #4285853 - 06/12/05 07:25 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Just introduce him to another gay guy..thats the easiest solution you have...


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Offlinetomk
King of OTD

Registered: 09/22/04
Posts: 1,559
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
Re: Need advice on how to deal with a gay guy at work. [Re: nancy1]
    #4285901 - 06/12/05 09:13 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Tell him you are not gay but if he lets you put on a straight porn and stays under the covers so you won't have to see him, you will let him blow you. And then, put a bag over his head and fuck him. You don't have to be gay to sleep with the guy. You could say "I'm straight, but I'll give it a go, it might be fun."

Or, tell him you are not interested. Say "Thanks, but sorry." and laugh it off. Or tell him you are straight.

It all depends. What are your objectives in resolving the situation? You say, what should I do in this situation, well, it depends, what do you want to happen in the situation? Do you want to still be friends, do you want to get fired, do you want to fight him, do you want to lay him? It all depends on what you want.


--------------------
"I am eternally free"


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InvisibleIcelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Male

Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 93,974
Loc: underbelly
Re: Need advice on how to deal with a gay guy at work. [Re: PowerTrip]
    #4285904 - 06/12/05 09:15 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

He definately is hitting on you. Take it as a compliment.

Tell him straight out. Look friend, since you told me you are gay, I'm going to tell you I'm not. Just so you know and there is no misunderstandings. Because you seem like a great person and no reason why we shouldn't be friends.

If he was just after your bod, he will then drop you as a friend. But if not you will both be clear and just be buddies and enjoy the friendship. :mushroom2:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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OfflineRazorFire
Stranger

Registered: 05/16/04
Posts: 122
Last seen: 7 years, 9 months
Re: Need advice on how to deal with a gay guy at work. [Re: Icelander]
    #4286004 - 06/12/05 10:29 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Icelander said:
He definately is hitting on you. Take it as a compliment.

Tell him straight out. Look friend, since you told me you are gay, I'm going to tell you I'm not. Just so you know and there is no misunderstandings. Because you seem like a great person and no reason why we shouldn't be friends.

If he was just after your bod, he will then drop you as a friend. But if not you will both be clear and just be buddies and enjoy the friendship. :mushroom2:




:thumbup: :thumbup: :smile: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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OfflineAmber_Glow
Sat Chit Anand

Registered: 09/02/02
Posts: 1,543
Last seen: 4 years, 4 months
Re: Need advice on how to deal with a gay guy at work. [Re: PowerTrip]
    #4288126 - 06/12/05 07:54 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Next time he makes some joke about sex with you or something, just be like "Hey man I'd take you up on your offer, but sorry, I'm not gay!!!" and laugh it off. There is no need to create some fabricated girlfriend story, just let him know that you are straight and he's not going to be getting a piece of you.


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OfflinePowerTrip
Polypharmaceutical Shaman
Male

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 03/07/05
Posts: 1,148
Loc: The void
Last seen: 4 years, 9 months
Re: Need advice on how to deal with a gay guy at work. [Re: Icelander]
    #4288154 - 06/12/05 07:59 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Thanks for the advice guys. As obvious as it seems, he has not really blatantly hit on me or asked me to hang out with him or anything to that effect so it wouldn't feel appropriate for me to just flat out say to him "hey, I'm not gay." If he does get more personal with it I will definitely tell him without hesitation that I am not gay. I think at this point I am just going to try and talk about women with him so he understands that I'm straight and we can go on like nothing ever happened. I just want to be able to work with this guy without things getting weird. I'm not really looking for friendship.


--------------------
I spit reality, instead of what you usually learn
and I refuse to be concerned with condescending advice
cause I'm the only motherfucker that can change my life


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InvisibleLe_Canard
The Duk Abides

Registered: 05/17/03
Posts: 94,369
Loc: Earthfarm 1 Flag
Re: Need advice on how to deal with a gay guy at work. [Re: Jellric]
    #4288277 - 06/12/05 08:35 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Jellric said:
It's really simple. Get across to him in a nice way that you respect him and you'd like him to also respect the fact that you are straight. If he doesn't accept that then gradually ratchet up the disaproval until he reaches his discomfort level.




Yes, say something along the lines of "I'm flattered you find me attractive, but I'm not gay and you're really making me uncomfortable". Feel free to get rude if he persists...


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Invisiblelooner2
ABBA fan

Registered: 06/20/04
Posts: 3,849
Re: Need advice on how to deal with a gay guy at work. [Re: Le_Canard]
    #4288317 - 06/12/05 08:44 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

ToiletDuk said:
Yes, say something along the lines of "I'm flattered you find me attractive, but I'm not gay and you're really making me uncomfortable". Feel free to get rude if he persists...




What the fuck? I'm flattered? Where in the how-to-stop-gays-from-hitting-on-you manual does it say act like a chick? Geez.

I seriously think you should refer to my first post. He says he'll pull you in the back room? LOL. Imagine if a guy said this to a girl. Can you saw fired AND lawsuits? But no, don't want to infuriate the PC gods and treat this piece of shit like he reall is. Maybe tell him to fuck off before you punch him, but for god sakes, YOU DON'T NEED TO FLIRT BACK WITH HIM. Worst advice ever, toiletduk.


--------------------
I am in love with Acidic_Sloth



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InvisibleRavus
Not an EggshellWalker
 User Gallery

Registered: 07/18/03
Posts: 7,991
Loc: Cave of the Patriarchs
Re: Need advice on how to deal with a gay guy at work. [Re: looner2]
    #4288341 - 06/12/05 08:49 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Looner, you know as well as I that gay people have feelings too.

You could always just pretend he was an ugly morbidly obese woman saying these things and respond accordingly.


--------------------
So long as you are praised think only that you are not yet on your own path but on that of another.


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InvisibleLe_Canard
The Duk Abides

Registered: 05/17/03
Posts: 94,369
Loc: Earthfarm 1 Flag
Re: Need advice on how to deal with a gay guy at work. [Re: looner2]
    #4288390 - 06/12/05 08:59 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

It's called "tact" and "being respectful". You should look it up.... :rolleyes:


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Invisiblelooner2
ABBA fan

Registered: 06/20/04
Posts: 3,849
Re: Need advice on how to deal with a gay guy at work. [Re: Le_Canard]
    #4288431 - 06/12/05 09:15 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Should you also bat your eyes in the name of "tact"? How about a little giggle while quickly covering your mouth? You are too sweet Toilet :kiss:


--------------------
I am in love with Acidic_Sloth



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OfflineGomp
¡(Bound to·(O))be free!
Male User Gallery

Registered: 09/11/04
Posts: 10,866
Loc: I re·side [primarily] in...
Last seen: 3 months, 16 days
Re: Need advice on how to deal with a gay guy at work. [Re: Le_Canard]
    #4288447 - 06/12/05 09:22 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Tell him that you are not gay.
Ask him if he is hitting on you.
and so on..

just be honest!


--------------------


--------------------
Disclaimer!?


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InvisibleLe_Canard
The Duk Abides

Registered: 05/17/03
Posts: 94,369
Loc: Earthfarm 1 Flag
Re: Need advice on how to deal with a gay guy at work. [Re: looner2]
    #4288715 - 06/12/05 10:21 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Spare me the pseudo-mach posturing. It impresses no one...


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Invisiblelooner2
ABBA fan

Registered: 06/20/04
Posts: 3,849
Re: Need advice on how to deal with a gay guy at work. [Re: Le_Canard]
    #4288839 - 06/12/05 10:44 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Spare me your feminine-mystique.


--------------------
I am in love with Acidic_Sloth



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InvisibleLe_Canard
The Duk Abides

Registered: 05/17/03
Posts: 94,369
Loc: Earthfarm 1 Flag
Re: Need advice on how to deal with a gay guy at work. [Re: looner2]
    #4288889 - 06/12/05 10:52 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

looner2 said:
Nothing of consequence. As usual..





:yawn:


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InvisibleMOTH
Wild Woman
 User Gallery

Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,381
Loc: In the jungle
Re: Need advice on how to deal with a gay guy at work. [Re: Le_Canard]
    #4289906 - 06/13/05 03:35 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Let's please remember that this is a place of support. Take any flames elsewhere. This is a warning for everyone.


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