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Liz
Owl Lady



Registered: 11/16/04
Posts: 6,962
Loc: Massachusetts
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Re: how do i tell my mom... [Re: afoaf]
#4264150 - 06/06/05 02:50 PM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
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I started my career when I was 18 years old...I've been doing it for 5 years, and I'm in a financial position to pay a whole house payment by myself if need be. This is why, in my last post, I told her I would advise against her doing it. It didn;t work out well for me the first time, but in those 3 and 1/2 years, I learned a whole lot about what is important, and what is not, and how to have a successful relationship. I just don't think you can generalize and say that until you're over 25 you shouldn't move in with someone. Many people are ready well before that.
-------------------- Remember, remember the fifth of November The gunpowder treason and plot. I see no reason why gunpowder treason Should ever be forgot.
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THE KRAT BARON
one-eyed willie
Registered: 07/08/03
Posts: 42,409
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Re: how do i tell my mom... [Re: afoaf]
#4264206 - 06/06/05 03:07 PM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
afoaf said: and you're ridiculous for not recognizing the fact that you seem to be the exception to every single rule possible.
do you know how many times I've seen in life and on these boards people in shitty situations because they moved in with a friend or the flavor of the year?
do you realize the success rate for marriages between individuals married at a young age?
how was your break up and move out with the ex?
what are you going to do when you and your current have to SPLIT your house when you get broked up?
you may think it will never happen, but it does and you have to plan for that shit...especially when you share a home with someone, DOUBLY SO when you own a piece of property with them.
furthermore...finishing your education and starting your career before limiting yourself with a relationship is one of the best things you can do for yourself.
if you want to move out...move out with some stranger, not a friend or some boyfriend that you've been *official* with for 4 fucking months...jesus that's just inviting danger and everyone's favorite 'I told you so' from mom.
my wife and I dated for years before we moved in together...and we only did so because it was stated that we were interested to see how it would work out in the event that we decided to join forces and at the time we were both finishing degrees and well into our careers.
the main point being...the odds are against you, you still have some substantial personal and professional growth ahead of you and you don't necessarily need the added complexity of your first out-of-home living experience to be with fledging lover.
Agreed. Become independent before you go and move in with somebody. You will never feel like you have no solution other than being stuck if things don't work out right.
-------------------- m00nshine is currently vacationing in Maui. Rumor has it he got rolled by drunken natives and is currently prostituting himself in order to pay for airfare back to the mainland but he's having trouble juggling a hairon addiction. He won't be back for a long while.
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afoaf
CEO DBK?


Registered: 11/08/02
Posts: 32,665
Loc: Ripple's Heart
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Re: how do i tell my mom... [Re: Liz]
#4264258 - 06/06/05 03:26 PM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
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do you know what 'exception to the rule' means?
curiously...
a good general rule is no marriage until 25 or later.
I'm glad it all worked out for you, though.
-------------------- All I know is The Growery is a place where losers who get banned here go.
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John
ssdp.org

Registered: 08/08/03
Posts: 7,026
Loc: Vancouver, B.C.
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i agree with the people saying it's not a good idea, or at least really really think it out first cuz i doubt what people here say is gonna matter if you already made up your mind. i'm your age and know a lot of girls who have moved in with bf's and such. my bestfriend started living with this guy (she was 18 he was 23) and was really happy at first, then he started not being able to pay bills (really just taking advantage of her) so she started having to work her ass off to pay the bills. he started getting physically and mentally abusive to her after a while, she never told anyone tho . i know you think you would say something in a situation like that but you prolly wouldn't. i dated this girl a while back and she was a take no shit chick. one time i raised my hand to her and she punched me in the mouth and tried kicking me in the balls. she let this guy beat up on her tho. i was sooo surprised to hear she got taken advantage of so bad. she stayed in the situation for a year and a half before she told me he hits her, then he met Mr. Louisville slugger but that's another story
anyway from what i gather she stuck around so long because she really didn't know what to do. most of her friends were friends of his, so if she left him she'd have no friends. she lived at his place so if she left she wouldn't have a place to stay ect. i had moved away for college and she didn't want to impose on me by asking to stay there. her mom let her back after she found out about this guy. it really tied her down and got her into a shitty situation for a while tho. i'm defentaly not saying you bf is gonna beat you or anything but you really get to know someone when you live with them and a lot of people are fucked up. another thing is every girl i know that's moved in with bf's so soon and so young has some sort of issues.
i know this is prolly gonna piss some ppl off, especially some chicks that fit this description to a tee but.. my basic generalization of girls that moved in with guys so soon and at a young age- -don't have many (if any) friends that are girls -don't have many (if any) friends of their own. (i.e. most their friends are their bf's friends first and foremost) -don't like most girls because they're "ditzy and shallow" -never go longer than a month without a bf -in general are very dependant
any girls i've known to fit into all those catagorys has had some problems
-------------------- There's a thin line between sanity and insanity... and I just snorted it.
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afoaf
CEO DBK?


Registered: 11/08/02
Posts: 32,665
Loc: Ripple's Heart
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Re: how do i tell my mom... [Re: John]
#4264336 - 06/06/05 03:51 PM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
John said: any girls i've known has had some problems
-------------------- All I know is The Growery is a place where losers who get banned here go.
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goobler
Reanimated



Registered: 02/24/03
Posts: 48,909
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Re: how do i tell my mom... [Re: John]
#4264338 - 06/06/05 03:52 PM (18 years, 8 months ago) |
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I could watch your avatar for hours
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