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CaptainCrunch
Contrary ToPopular Belief
Registered: 02/23/05
Posts: 934
Loc: Somwhere Over the rainbow
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
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Fucking Ligers, The funniest site in the world...
#4120918 - 05/01/05 08:47 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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http://www.antiliger.com/
This is a real web site these people actually BELIEVE this, this is the funniest shit in the world, tell me what you think its a long read but it is insane.
Welcome to the official homepage of the Anti-Liger Alliance! We are the only organization dedicated to the eradication of man's deadliest foe, the liger. But what is a liger? Websters defines the liger as "half lion, half tiger, all terror." When you breed a male lion with a female tiger, you get the liger, a perfect killing-machine with only one thought on its mind: exterminate mankind. Right now, ligers live only in captivity but if they were to ever escape, they would surely replace man as the dominant species on planet Earth. You see, in the ancient times of our caveman ancestors, a lion accidentally bred with a tiger. The resulting monstrocities quickly duplicated and soon unleashed their fury on the world. They were able to quickly exterminate the races of the wooly mammoth, the sabre-toothed tiger, and the dinosaur. It then subdued the other races of animals until only one remained, the caveman. In the Great Human-Liger War of 23,002-22,986 BC, man came dangerously close to extinction by the liger. However, one great caveman leader by the name of Eknok united the human tribes and was able to miraculously defeat the mighty liger army. Some say that he created a giant earthquake to suck the ligers into the fiery core below. I personally believe he constructed a giant catapult that he used to hurl the gigantic ligers into outer space. Nonetheless, man was treated to 25,000 years without the threat of the liger because Eknok, in his great wisdom, decreed that lions and tigers would henceforth be seperated: the lions in Africa and the tigers in Asia. However, in recent years man has planted the seeds of his own destruction by breeding a new force of ligers. It is only a matter of time before they strike again. That is why the Anti-Liger Alliance is dedicated to the eradication of all ligers and the survival and continued dominance of the human race.
In history there have been very few men who have successfully killed a liger as most men do not have the awesomeness it requires. However, there are a few individuals who have single-handedly killed a liger with their bare hands. I present their names to you in alphabetical order. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rocky Balboa
Optimus Prime
Indiana Jones
Mr. Miagi
Spider-Man
Darth Vader
Rambo
General Robert E. Lee
Shemp
Eknok, the King of the Cavemen
Blackbeard the Pirate
Sauron, the Dark Lord of Mordor and Weilder of the One Ring
the Terminator (I, II and III)
Q
Chef Boyardee
MC Hammer
If anybody comes up with any other ones let me know.
Facts about Ligers
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Facts: -Ligers are the offspring of a male lion and a female tiger
-Ligers are the biggest cats in the Universe. They grow to up to 1500 lbs. and 12 ft. long.
-Ligers can run as fast or even faster than a 1986 Toyota Corolla.
-Ligers are deadly killing machines. Ligers can kill a man in 0.7 seconds and devour him in less than 4.6 seconds.
-Ligers can dodge bullets.
-Ligers have only one weakness: fire
Myths: -Ligers hate water. (Actually ligers love to swim in the water. In fact, their are rare reports of ligers escaping into the ocean and eating whales, dolphins, sharks, and even scuba divers. There is even evidence of a liger amphibious force that ravaged the ocean during the ancient Human-Liger War.)
-Ligers cannot breed. (Many assume that because other half-breed animals cannot breed, that the liger also cannot. This is a dangerous assumption. Ligers breed at an astonishing rate. Our estimates indicate that the liger population will outrun humans by the year 2014. This estimate does not include the probable massacre of millions if not billions of humans by the ligers.)
-There are other predators more dangerous than the liger. (Do not underestimate the liger. Our studies have shown that the liger can kill all of the opposing predators on Earth with relative ease. These animals include but are not limited to: the Grizzly Bear, the wolf, the gorilla, the shark, the elephant, the blue whale, the crocodile, the aligator, the cobra, the dinosaur, other lions and tigers, and ofcourse, man. There was one time when a liger killed a rhinoceros, a sea monster, and a crocodile all at the same time.)
-Ligers cannot be killed. (Sometimes it may seem that way when they are killing by the thousands and there seems to be no stopping them. However, there are a few ways you can kill them. They are: A Jedi with the power of the Force can kill a liger if he is powerful enough; If you engulf the liger in fire, he will die; or if you deprive him of oxygen, food or water for an extended period of time.)
The Anti-Liger Alliance isn't all about fighting ligers, it's about destroying the humans who help them. They thought they could escape the liger wrath by selling out the human race, but they will be smited in our glorious hour of victory. Plus they're gay. Do not trust the following people: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Orlando Bloom Usher
Bob Saget
Saddam Hussein
Michael Jackson
Benedict Arnold
Joe Christiani
Jane Fonda
the Kaiser
Jacques Chirac
anybody named Jacques
Usama Bin Laden (who didn't see that one coming)
Mr. Howell
Alan Blickenstaff
Pancho Villa
That's it for now. More will soon be reveiled... and eliminated.
DAMN LIGERS, LOL b
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Phychotron
Crazy Mofo
Registered: 06/17/02
Posts: 9,102
Loc: In A Forest Of Colossal F...
Last seen: 3 years, 10 months
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Re: Fucking Ligers, The funniest site in the world... [Re: CaptainCrunch]
#4120936 - 05/01/05 08:50 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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that's not that funny
-------------------- On a mission to prove that the truth gets you no where. They tried the truth, It didn't work. Then they wrote the bible. Only the foolish fear the inevitable.
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CaptainCrunch
Contrary ToPopular Belief
Registered: 02/23/05
Posts: 934
Loc: Somwhere Over the rainbow
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
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Re: Fucking Ligers, The funniest site in the world... [Re: Phychotron]
#4120941 - 05/01/05 08:51 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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Alright liger boy im sorry
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Trainwreck
No. Really.
Registered: 12/22/04
Posts: 3,563
Loc: Southern California
Last seen: 6 years, 15 days
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Re: Fucking Ligers, The funniest site in the world... [Re: CaptainCrunch]
#4120945 - 05/01/05 08:52 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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Napoleon Dynamite.
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kosmic_charlie
Truckin' in style
Registered: 03/18/01
Posts: 5,203
Loc: Deep Elem
Last seen: 2 months, 24 days
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Re: Fucking Ligers, The funniest site in the world... [Re: CaptainCrunch]
#4120951 - 05/01/05 08:54 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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-------------------- Goin' where the water tastes like wine.
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ShroomOmatic
Ethno Apprentice
Registered: 10/14/04
Posts: 2,373
Loc: Sailing the Seas of Chees...
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Re: Fucking Ligers, The funniest site in the world... [Re: Phychotron]
#4120957 - 05/01/05 08:55 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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This is what happens when 5 nerds cram into a room on a friday night with nothing to do.... pathetic if you ask me. Still thanks for showing us the link. Kinda funny in a pathetic way. -ShroomOmatic
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Todcasil
rogue DMT elf
Registered: 08/08/99
Posts: 16,381
Loc: Crawling on the floor...
Last seen: 9 years, 6 months
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Re: Fucking Ligers, The funniest site in the world... [Re: CaptainCrunch]
#4121304 - 05/01/05 10:41 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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i thought it was funny, but couldnt read past the first paragraph...
but do you actually believe that these people believe this?
then you are the mark.
-------------------- Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect GODDESSES Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud GODS. ~Casil
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CaptainCrunch
Contrary ToPopular Belief
Registered: 02/23/05
Posts: 934
Loc: Somwhere Over the rainbow
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
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Re: Fucking Ligers, The funniest site in the world... [Re: Todcasil]
#4121355 - 05/01/05 10:58 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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If youd actually click the link, and goto the site you'd see the web site, then goto the forums and read some of there post, yes i actually think they beilive it take a look at it your self. But it dosent really matter, its funny shit because they have there own forum ect..
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Todcasil
rogue DMT elf
Registered: 08/08/99
Posts: 16,381
Loc: Crawling on the floor...
Last seen: 9 years, 6 months
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Re: Fucking Ligers, The funniest site in the world... [Re: CaptainCrunch]
#4121365 - 05/01/05 10:59 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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-------------------- Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect GODDESSES Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud GODS. ~Casil
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CaptainCrunch
Contrary ToPopular Belief
Registered: 02/23/05
Posts: 934
Loc: Somwhere Over the rainbow
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
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Re: Fucking Ligers, The funniest site in the world... [Re: CaptainCrunch]
#4121372 - 05/01/05 11:01 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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Bowsmanjedd Rank: Group: members Posts: 5 IP Logged
PM ID: 27 PM [Bowsmanjedd]
Last replied to on Fri Apr 29, 2005 10:20:23 Edit Post|Quote -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hello everyone. my name is jedd. my weapon of choice would have to be the longbow. Well to launch into my story: 12 years ago my brother was fatefully and brutially mauled by a liger as we were on an expedition in new guinea. ever since that day i have been on my quest to slay ligers (and tigons) and avenge my brothers attackers. i currently am working off a satelite connection in the southern most tip of the island madagascar, with the only known tribe on the island. they contacted me through a telegram that i recived in telaveve, while hunting a suspected tigon (since destroyed) they told me of some dissapearance that they had suffered, and thier suspicions of a liger on the prowl. i have been here three weeks so far. i know its out there, found some tracks just last night. i have some of the, what you would call, braves, standing watch every night. well enough about me, i would like to commend you for your efforts in destroying as you put it "mans greatest enemy". so true. -Jedd
EDIT: also i have notice that in your statement on the main page, you mention that ligers only exist in captivity, surely you jest! my lifes work has not been in a zoo. they are out there, in the deepest darkest, hidden place. watching, waiting, to come out and wage open war. P.S.
i have Eknok blood in me. and of that i am very proud.
LOL
Edited by CaptainCrunch (05/01/05 11:02 PM)
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nothing
Old Hand
Registered: 07/02/00
Posts: 1,626
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Re: Fucking Ligers, The funniest site in the world... *DELETED* [Re: CaptainCrunch]
#4121429 - 05/01/05 11:15 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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Post deleted by Sir IanReason for deletion: _
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Todcasil
rogue DMT elf
Registered: 08/08/99
Posts: 16,381
Loc: Crawling on the floor...
Last seen: 9 years, 6 months
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Re: Fucking Ligers, The funniest site in the world... [Re: nothing]
#4121436 - 05/01/05 11:21 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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REALULTIMATEPOWER!!!!!
now thats good clean fun
-------------------- Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect GODDESSES Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud GODS. ~Casil
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