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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
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Confidence back up!
    #3945812 - 03/20/05 08:58 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

In this world so much flies around about people having over inflated egos I don't think most people even think about what they are saying before they use the phrase any more.

If you can do or have something then of course you have a right to be confident in those facts if they can be undisputed or proven.

So how is a confident person who can back up their claims over inflating anything?

If John McEnroe confidently and even cockily says he can kick my ass in tennis (which he can) is he speaking from an over inflated ego or from the truth?

If someone who I have consistently beat in tennis runs around town confidently and cockily saying they can kick my ass in tennis, now, I think this person has an over inflated ego issue.

Too often I think confidence is mistaken for ego over inflation. Sure, there is the flip side of humility and being humble and isn't that ego underinflation?

If John McEnroe said to me, "I am okay at tennis." Is he being honest with me? NO! What good is anothers humility if it's trash garbage lies?

What about this form of humility that is really nothing more then deception?

I say, give me the truth of your bright self with confidence when you can as I prefer that any day.

If you invented the first automobile, don't tell me you are someone who tinkers around with inventions in your garage.

Why do some bright people dim their own light?

Why do some dim people raise false lights?

What do you all think of all of this?

I've been meaning to bring this up for months here.


--------------------
Ahuwale ka nane huna.


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OfflineSneezingPenis
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Re: Confidence back up! [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #3945855 - 03/20/05 09:07 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

well, some people just dont strive to be admired or liked. Confidence is personal, and internal. once that idea of confidence is related to someone via communication, then it is bragging on some level. Humbleness comes from a realization of the amount of importance. If McEnroe said "im ok at tennis" it is out of humbleness because he would have realized that the importance doesnt lay in being better, but enjoying tennis, and playing tennis.


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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
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Re: Confidence back up! [Re: SneezingPenis]
    #3945916 - 03/20/05 09:18 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Then why wouldn't he just say, "I enjoy playing tennis, but its not the most important thing in my life to me" ? That would be and honest expression of true humility.

I was talking about when people down play the actual truth because they are uncomfortable in it.

I think what makes some people uncomfortable with their own great truths is that "some" other insecure people become uncomfortable with it. If you cater to that, are you coddling, nurturing and supporting others insecurities? Is that the right thing to do? Are you helping them or making it easier for them to remain insecure with themselves by dimming your own light down to their comfort levels?

I'm just curious what others think on this.

And, I want to know if others see the difference between confidence that can be supported with fact -a healthy ego and confidence that can't, which would be a falsely puffed up ego?

I'm just looking for many perspectives on this to broaden my own considerations.


--------------------
Ahuwale ka nane huna.


Edited by gettinjiggywithit (03/20/05 09:29 PM)


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OfflineSneezingPenis
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Re: Confidence back up! [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #3945987 - 03/20/05 09:31 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Im not sure how to answer your question. I completely get what you are saying, and I do this all the time... Many time here in Nashville, everyone is always asking what instruments do you play, and are you any good? I just say No to both of them, but in actuality, i play 8 instruments very well, and 2 of those 8 at studio musician level. Maybe I do it because i know that there is always someone out there who could dwarf my ability, or because I really just dont like hearing about myself. I actually hate it (seriously) when people talk about how good i am at the harmonica. I would rather play and let them make up their own minds instead.

So i guess that would be my answer: instead of TELLING them of my ability, i would rather SHOW them my ability.


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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
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Re: Confidence back up! [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #3946010 - 03/20/05 09:36 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Maybe I will put it this way. If you down play a truth, which is deceptive to paint a picture different from the actual reality, to put someone at ease with their own insecurities-self deceptions, then don't you just have a lot of decieving being supported going on?

Who benefits here? Whats the point?

Is it being compassionate to say to someone, (indirectly) I know you think you are a big looser so I will come off as a big looser too so you can feel okay with yourself in comparison to me?


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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
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Re: Confidence back up! [Re: SneezingPenis]
    #3946078 - 03/20/05 09:51 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

You snuck in your last reply as I was doing my last one.

I must say, when you were honest about playing 8 really well, something felt good in my heart as I read that part. Gee, I wish there was more of that sort of honesty from people.

I see what you are saying. You are saying that you feel like if you say it you feel as if you are telling others what to think of you and you would rather them make up their own mind about you.

That is interesting and I never considered that reason for downplaying oneself before. Thanks for sharing that!  :thumbup: :heart:


--------------------
Ahuwale ka nane huna.


Edited by gettinjiggywithit (03/20/05 09:51 PM)


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InvisibleeMotionALLmotion
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Re: Confidence back up! [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #3946836 - 03/21/05 12:31 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

gettinjiggywithit said:
I see what you are saying. You are saying that you feel like if you say it you feel as if you are telling others what to think of you and you would rather them make up their own mind about you.
.
That is interesting and I never considered that reason for downplaying oneself before. Thanks for sharing that!  :thumbup: :heart:



.
When it comes to something like music and personal taste is involved, you get the full spectrum of opinions anyways....  I fully understand a reason for downplay in this type of situation, I play(ed) guitar, and have heard the spectrum of opinions, or seen the facial expressions of the people that chose to walk out the door....  Perhaps they were in the wrong venue, or expected something of us....?    I dunno~, I concentrated my efforts on the people that were seemingly enjoying what we were doing....   
.
.
.
.
So, with a very blunt and forceful confidence, is it possible to say something that very well may be taken as ego when indeed it really isn't meant to be....?    :grin:  How about....
.
I am the best damn person in the whole wide world, from the beggining of time till now, that has ever taken the time to look at the palm of my hand....
.
Sounds pretty boastful and confident, but it is most likely true....  People could stand the chance at only hearing the boastful part, and when you get to the reason, they might be gone or not paying attention....    But, it still doesn't make it wrong....      :shrug:


:sun:


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