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well, some people just dont strive to be admired or liked. Confidence is personal, and internal. once that idea of confidence is related to someone via communication, then it is bragging on some level. Humbleness comes from a realization of the amount of importance. If McEnroe said "im ok at tennis" it is out of humbleness because he would have realized that the importance doesnt lay in being better, but enjoying tennis, and playing tennis.
Then why wouldn't he just say, "I enjoy playing tennis, but its not the most important thing in my life to me" ? That would be and honest expression of true humility.
I was talking about when people down play the actual truth because they are uncomfortable in it.
I think what makes some people uncomfortable with their own great truths is that "some" other insecure people become uncomfortable with it. If you cater to that, are you coddling, nurturing and supporting others insecurities? Is that the right thing to do? Are you helping them or making it easier for them to remain insecure with themselves by dimming your own light down to their comfort levels?
I'm just curious what others think on this.
And, I want to know if others see the difference between confidence that can be supported with fact -a healthy ego and confidence that can't, which would be a falsely puffed up ego?
I'm just looking for many perspectives on this to broaden my own considerations.
Im not sure how to answer your question. I completely get what you are saying, and I do this all the time... Many time here in Nashville, everyone is always asking what instruments do you play, and are you any good? I just say No to both of them, but in actuality, i play 8 instruments very well, and 2 of those 8 at studio musician level. Maybe I do it because i know that there is always someone out there who could dwarf my ability, or because I really just dont like hearing about myself. I actually hate it (seriously) when people talk about how good i am at the harmonica. I would rather play and let them make up their own minds instead.
So i guess that would be my answer: instead of TELLING them of my ability, i would rather SHOW them my ability.
Maybe I will put it this way. If you down play a truth, which is deceptive to paint a picture different from the actual reality, to put someone at ease with their own insecurities-self deceptions, then don't you just have a lot of decieving being supported going on?
Who benefits here? Whats the point?
Is it being compassionate to say to someone, (indirectly) I know you think you are a big looser so I will come off as a big looser too so you can feel okay with yourself in comparison to me?
Quote: gettinjiggywithit said: I see what you are saying. You are saying that you feel like if you say it you feel as if you are telling others what to think of you and you would rather them make up their own mind about you. . That is interesting and I never considered that reason for downplaying oneself before. Thanks for sharing that!
. When it comes to something like music and personal taste is involved, you get the full spectrum of opinions anyways.... I fully understand a reason for downplay in this type of situation, I play(ed) guitar, and have heard the spectrum of opinions, or seen the facial expressions of the people that chose to walk out the door.... Perhaps they were in the wrong venue, or expected something of us....? I dunno~, I concentrated my efforts on the people that were seemingly enjoying what we were doing.... . . . . So, with a very blunt and forceful confidence, is it possible to say something that very well may be taken as ego when indeed it really isn't meant to be....? How about.... . I am the best damn person in the whole wide world, from the beggining of time till now, that has ever taken the time to look at the palm of my hand.... . Sounds pretty boastful and confident, but it is most likely true.... People could stand the chance at only hearing the boastful part, and when you get to the reason, they might be gone or not paying attention.... But, it still doesn't make it wrong....