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Frog
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Jealousy, Insecurity
#3281807 - 10/26/04 09:16 PM (19 years, 3 months ago) |
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When you see someone who is better looking than you, do you find things wrong with that person? Other defects for which you can criticize him/her? Or do you decide to take better care of yourself, work out to get in shape, and other things to make yourself attractive?
When someone has become financially successful, do you again find reasons to criticize that person? Or do you applaud their success and strive to do better in your own life?
Some people applaud others who do well, and use those people as an example in order to do better in their own lives.
Others find ways to criticize those who are somehow doing better, in whatever area.
I have my opinion on why this is so. What's yours?
-------------------- The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire. -Teilard
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freddurgan
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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: Frog] 1
#3281862 - 10/26/04 09:31 PM (19 years, 3 months ago) |
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I think the jealousy stems from the insecurity. If you are secure with who you are then you aren't going to have a reason to criticize others for their success. If you are insecure, then their success becomes skewed, and becomes your failure. "It's their success, not mine.."
I for one am pretty guilty of this. But I am aware of it at least, and I'd like to change.
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recalcitrant
My Own God

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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: Frog]
#3281898 - 10/26/04 09:40 PM (19 years, 3 months ago) |
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No. No. No.
No. No.
I usually lament about my bad luck in this encarnation. Or I'll give thanks for what I have, instead of admitting that I've given up on anything better.
I usually give credit where credit is due. I almost never criticize, let alone misplace my criticizm. I don't pretend to understand people who do things so differently than I would/do.
I do notice that my nieces and nephew love to find and place fault accuratly. They narc on each other for any infraction. If one kid has the opportunity to proudly proclaim some marvelously childish feat, the others will point out everything wrong that one has done for the past week.
I don't know why they do this, but I think it's because of the way they are treated by their parents. I could go on and on about the idiotic things that they do thinking they are good parents, but I'd rather not babble on about the people I live with.
I've never been jelouse and I don't understand it from people when I see it. I just don't understand these people.
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We have to answer our own prayers
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Frog
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Hi, Recalcitrant! 
I was just saying on another thread that I miss the people who usually post here, when they are absent. You are one of those.
-------------------- The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire. -Teilard
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Frog
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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: freddurgan]
#3281933 - 10/26/04 09:52 PM (19 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
freddurgan said: I for one am pretty guilty of this. But I am aware of it at least, and I'd like to change.
Very forthcoming and honest. Very refreshing.
-------------------- The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire. -Teilard
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Frog
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Quote:
recalcitrant said: I usually lament about my bad luck in this encarnation. Or I'll give thanks for what I have, instead of admitting that I've given up on anything better.
Me, too. And I'll try to change what I think is my karma.
Quote:
I usually give credit where credit is due. I almost never criticize, let alone misplace my criticizm. I don't pretend to understand people who do things so differently than I would/do.
Me, too! I appreciate people who have acquired "things", not because things are so important, but because they have done well enough in their endeavors to have come to a place where they can afford to buy those things.
Same with criticism. I know that people can get themselves into a spot that is difficult, perhaps because of making bad decisions. I have never walked in their shoes, I have never lived their life, so who am I to criticize them for the decisions that they have made that caused them to land where I (would hope to) never land?
Quote:
I do notice that my nieces and nephew love to find and place fault accuratly. They narc on each other for any infraction. If one kid has the opportunity to proudly proclaim some marvelously childish feat, the others will point out everything wrong that one has done for the past week.
Maybe this is where it starts, is with the parents? And how they raise us?
Quote:
I've never been jelouse and I don't understand it from people when I see it. I just don't understand these people.
Me, neither. It can be disheartening, sometimes. Especially when you like someone.
-------------------- The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire. -Teilard
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lovelight
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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: Frog]
#3282109 - 10/26/04 10:38 PM (19 years, 3 months ago) |
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hmmmmm I don't see anything to be jealous over in the examples you listed. Being attractive is a very subjective concept. I see every person as a unique and special contribution to the bigger picture. The world is beautiful and interesting because of its extreme diversity, and the people in it are part of what make it so. As for success, who says it has to be measured with money? My respect goes out to those who work on bettering themselves, and bettering the world we all share.
The problem of jealousy and insecurity come from our society's view of success. The emphasis is on the individual rather than the collective. There are no community values. This makes it easier for capitalists and politicians to control us, to wage war, to encourage consumerism...
-------------------- Turn on your lovelight, let it shine on me
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kbilly
earthwalker

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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: lovelight]
#3282329 - 10/26/04 11:34 PM (19 years, 3 months ago) |
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a small person not being big want to at least feel big, so they denigrate other people, make them smaller so they are bigger in comparison.
why do they do it, because its a lot easier than growing themselves.
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Frog
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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: kbilly]
#3282353 - 10/26/04 11:41 PM (19 years, 3 months ago) |
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BINGO!!! 
Or, in other words, people are basically lazy. Easier to put others down than to try harder one's self.
-------------------- The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire. -Teilard
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Frog
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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: lovelight]
#3282418 - 10/26/04 11:58 PM (19 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
lovelight said: hmmmmm I don't see anything to be jealous over in the examples you listed. Being attractive is a very subjective concept. I see every person as a unique and special contribution to the bigger picture. The world is beautiful and interesting because of its extreme diversity, and the people in it are part of what make it so.
Not every one sees things this way. I'm impressed with your thinking.
Quote:
As for success, who says it has to be measured with money? My respect goes out to those who work on bettering themselves, and bettering the world we all share.
I agree that success isn't measured by money. My point is that people who strive hard, usually who put time into going to school, or into working their way up some ladder, those achievements are measured by what people can afford to buy. So it's not what people own, per se, they measures success, but that they ended up in a position to be able to buy those things. They were successful at what they do, that enabled them to buy those things.
Quote:
The problem of jealousy and insecurity come from our society's view of success. The emphasis is on the individual rather than the collective. There are no community values. This makes it easier for capitalists and politicians to control us, to wage war, to encourage consumerism...
In a way, I'm glad that the emphasis is on the individaul rather than on the collective. If the emphasis was on the collective, than we would be like a communist country. With the emphasis on the individual, we have a capitalist society. (Read Ayn Rand)
-------------------- The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire. -Teilard
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Todcasil
rogue DMT elf


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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: Frog]
#3282439 - 10/27/04 12:07 AM (19 years, 3 months ago) |
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lovelight speaks for me sometimes, like in this thread.
thanks lovelight
-------------------- Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect GODDESSES Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud GODS. ~Casil
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Todcasil
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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: Todcasil]
#3282445 - 10/27/04 12:09 AM (19 years, 3 months ago) |
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btw, reading ayn rand did little to make me believe capitalism was such a heavenly thing. i believe in hard work, i believe in sharing and compassion. LOTS of it.
-------------------- Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect GODDESSES Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud GODS. ~Casil
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Todcasil
rogue DMT elf


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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: Todcasil]
#3282448 - 10/27/04 12:09 AM (19 years, 3 months ago) |
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buying things, to me, isnt impressive.
-------------------- Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect GODDESSES Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud GODS. ~Casil
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Frog
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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: Todcasil]
#3282454 - 10/27/04 12:11 AM (19 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Todcasil said: btw, reading ayn rand did little to make me believe capitalism was such a heavenly thing. i believe in hard work, i believe in sharing and compassion. LOTS of it.
But that was the point (imo) of Ayn Rand's books! Work hard, provide for others, and make money from it!
-------------------- The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire. -Teilard
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Swami
Eggshell Walker

Registered: 01/18/00
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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: Frog]
#3282467 - 10/27/04 12:17 AM (19 years, 3 months ago) |
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When you see someone who is better looking than you...
Like who?
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The proof is in the pudding.
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Frog
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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: Swami]
#3282483 - 10/27/04 12:20 AM (19 years, 3 months ago) |
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Kermit???
-------------------- The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire. -Teilard
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Frog
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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: freddurgan]
#3282546 - 10/27/04 12:32 AM (19 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
freddurgan said: I think the jealousy stems from the insecurity. If you are secure with who you are then you aren't going to have a reason to criticize others for their success. If you are insecure, then their success becomes skewed, and becomes your failure. "It's their success, not mine.."
I for one am pretty guilty of this. But I am aware of it at least, and I'd like to change.
You were dead-on, from the start.
-------------------- The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire. -Teilard
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Swami
Eggshell Walker

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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: Frog]
#3282578 - 10/27/04 12:40 AM (19 years, 3 months ago) |
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LOL! Guess I cannot compete with another frog, but was talking about in the eyes of a HUMAN female...
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The proof is in the pudding.
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lovelight
float

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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: Frog]
#3282589 - 10/27/04 12:42 AM (19 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Frog said:I agree that success isn't measured by money. My point is that people who strive hard, usually who put time into going to school, or into working their way up some ladder, those achievements are measured by what people can afford to buy. So it's not what people own, per se, they measures success, but that they ended up in a position to be able to buy those things. They were successful at what they do, that enabled them to buy those things.
I believe that these kinds of goals (education, career and money) can be very virtuous if they are not purely self-driven. I wish that people who are in 'successful positions' wanted to help create a better world with opportunities for everyone. Why can't they feel satisfaction in spending their money on a cause, rather than extra things, just because they can afford them? Why is there never a point where they have enough? Why does everyone want status and acknowlegement and material evidence of their accomplishements?
Quote:
In a way, I'm glad that the emphasis is on the individaul rather than on the collective. If the emphasis was on the collective, than we would be like a communist country. With the emphasis on the individual, we have a capitalist society. (Read Ayn Rand)
The kind of 'collective' I'm reffering to is the result of people being equal, united, accepting, loving, and therefore cherishing similar values... thereby surpassing politics and transcending society's imposed notions of the individual.
-------------------- Turn on your lovelight, let it shine on me
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lovelight
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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: Todcasil]
#3282605 - 10/27/04 12:45 AM (19 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Todcasil said: lovelight speaks for me sometimes, like in this thread. thanks lovelight
that's a great compliment coming from you! Quote:
buying things, to me, isnt impressive
you speak for me also! thank you back!
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Swami
Eggshell Walker

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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: lovelight]
#3282617 - 10/27/04 12:48 AM (19 years, 3 months ago) |
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If I see just one more in this thread, I will ... *runs to bathroom*
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The proof is in the pudding.
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Frog
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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: lovelight]
#3282620 - 10/27/04 12:48 AM (19 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
lovelight said: The kind of 'collective' I'm reffering to is the result of people being equal, united, accepting, loving, and therefore cherishing similar values... thereby surpassing politics and transcending society's imposed notions of the individual.
I believe in that, as well. Sigh. I think that's called "Utopia". Ain't never going to happen.
-------------------- The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire. -Teilard
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lovelight
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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: Swami]
#3282634 - 10/27/04 12:52 AM (19 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
If I see just one more in this thread, I will ... *runs to bathroom*
Quote:
I believe in that, as well. Sigh. I think that's called "Utopia". Ain't never going to happen.
let's try anyway......
Edited by lovelight (10/27/04 01:13 AM)
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Frog
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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: lovelight]
#3282666 - 10/27/04 01:04 AM (19 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
lovelight said: let's try anyway......
Oh, hell, I'm always trying. I believe in "acts of random kindness" and all that shit. But it's the few of us who believe in that v. the majority who are in this life for what they can get out of it.
I'm not bitter, btw, just stating what, at this age, I perceive to be a "truth". 
But I'll go on committing random acts of kindness and senseless beauty. Oh, wait. I can't commit senseless beauty since I don't have an ounce of creativity in my bones. Can someone else commit that act for me, on my behalf????
-------------------- The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire. -Teilard
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lovelight
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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: Frog]
#3282686 - 10/27/04 01:14 AM (19 years, 3 months ago) |
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hahaaha you're great! your beauty shines from within and through your words
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Frog
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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: lovelight]
#3282693 - 10/27/04 01:16 AM (19 years, 3 months ago) |
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Et tu, lovelight.
-------------------- The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire. -Teilard
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lovelight
float

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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: Frog]
#3282695 - 10/27/04 01:16 AM (19 years, 3 months ago) |
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merci beaucoup mon amie! hahahahaa
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recalcitrant
My Own God

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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: Frog]
#3284626 - 10/27/04 01:59 PM (19 years, 3 months ago) |
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Vous parlez francais? Je ne savais pas!
Peut etre les sentiment commes la jalousie et l'insecurite vien des Francais. Ils sont toujours plus emotifs que la situation demande.
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We have to answer our own prayers
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Frog
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Je ne parle pas francais, mais je parle espanol un peu.
-------------------- The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire. -Teilard
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recalcitrant
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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: Frog]
#3284777 - 10/27/04 02:31 PM (19 years, 3 months ago) |
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Can you believe I only have four and a half shrooms? It's an injustice! All of you people with your perfect five shroom ratings laughing and mocking me.
I was reading "The Greek Myths" the other day. In the forward, the editor was talking about how he has come to be sure that ambrosia, the food of the gods, is a mushroom.
And then he talks about how the mazatec god that is associated with cubensis shrooms looks and acts just like the greek god who is also shroom related.
How could two cultures have the same god? Sure the human body is a chemical factory and introduction of psilocybin is going to have a simalar reaction on that body in the mediterranean or the yukatan; but to have similar or identical hallucinatory visions of "the mushroom god" seems more than coincidental.
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We have to answer our own prayers
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deff
just love everyone


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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: Frog]
#3284819 - 10/27/04 02:39 PM (19 years, 3 months ago) |
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J'adore la pizza
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Moonshoe
Blue Mantis


Registered: 05/28/04
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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: deff]
#3284918 - 10/27/04 02:59 PM (19 years, 3 months ago) |
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"When you see someone who is better looking than you, do you find things wrong with that person? Other defects for which you can criticize him/her? "
honestly, i think this is mostly a trait of the female gender. I have a female friend who cant stand having and better looking girls around. She has to be the best looking girl at the party. Its kind of sick really
personally, if i see someone better looking than me, whose a guy, i say 'hmm. thats a good looking guy' and thats about it. If i see someone better looking than me whose a girl i fantasize about them sexually.

really though i can honestly say jealousy isnt one of my big flaws. I dont have much to be jealous about really ive already been blessed beyond any reasonable justification or expectation
--------------------
Everything I post is fiction.
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deff
just love everyone


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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: Moonshoe]
#3284936 - 10/27/04 03:02 PM (19 years, 3 months ago) |
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You don't get jealous?!!
Man I envy you...
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kbilly
earthwalker

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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: deff]
#3285195 - 10/27/04 03:41 PM (19 years, 3 months ago) |
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"honestly, i think this is mostly a trait of the female gender" woman have to be more jealous, if they get pregnant they are stuck like that for nine months and with child rearing much longer. while the man runs off for his next fuck. so its very important for the woman to be the best so she can get the amn to sty wit her.
not so deep down were still monkeys.
make no mistake men get jealous too, to them its just less important. because they have less of an investment in one woman.
jealousy escapes me? if my girlfriend goes on holiday and has a fling what of it, as long as she still loves me and wants me, and if she doesnt then so be it, i want her to be happy and if its not with me, thats ok if its with me then fabulous.
i hate tentacle love.
were monkeys but i try.
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Frog
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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: Moonshoe]
#3287321 - 10/27/04 10:12 PM (19 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Moonshoe said: honestly, i think this is mostly a trait of the female gender. I have a female friend who cant stand having and better looking girls around. She has to be the best looking girl at the party. Its kind of sick really
I agree that this is probably a female trait. I am a female, and I run into it constantly. I hate it.
Quote:
personally, if i see someone better looking than me, whose a guy, i say 'hmm. thats a good looking guy' and thats about it. If i see someone better looking than me whose a girl i fantasize about them sexually.
Me too!! 
Quote:
really though i can honestly say jealousy isnt one of my big flaws. I dont have much to be jealous about really ive already been blessed beyond any reasonable justification or expectation
I'm not a jealous type, either. I am blessed, too. And if someone is making more money, I think, well, give me time. And if someone is better looking, at least that person makes this world a prettier place in which to ogle.
-------------------- The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire. -Teilard
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