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OfflineFrog
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Jealousy, Insecurity
    #3281807 - 10/26/04 11:16 PM (12 years, 4 months ago)

When you see someone who is better looking than you, do you find things wrong with that person? Other defects for which you can criticize him/her? Or do you decide to take better care of yourself, work out to get in shape, and other things to make yourself attractive?

When someone has become financially successful, do you again find reasons to criticize that person? Or do you applaud their success and strive to do better in your own life?

Some people applaud others who do well, and use those people as an example in order to do better in their own lives.

Others find ways to criticize those who are somehow doing better, in whatever area.

I have my opinion on why this is so. What's yours?


--------------------
The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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Offlinefreddurgan
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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: Frog] * 1
    #3281862 - 10/26/04 11:31 PM (12 years, 4 months ago)

I think the jealousy stems from the insecurity. If you are secure with who you are then you aren't going to have a reason to criticize others for their success. If you are insecure, then their success becomes skewed, and becomes your failure. "It's their success, not mine.."

I for one am pretty guilty of this. But I am aware of it at least, and I'd like to change.


--------------------
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Ron Paul 2008!
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Offlinerecalcitrant
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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: Frog]
    #3281898 - 10/26/04 11:40 PM (12 years, 4 months ago)

No.
No.
No.

No.
No.

I usually lament about my bad luck in this encarnation. Or I'll give thanks for what I have, instead of admitting that I've given up on anything better.

I usually give credit where credit is due. I almost never criticize, let alone misplace my criticizm. I don't pretend to understand people who do things so differently than I would/do.

I do notice that my nieces and nephew love to find and place fault accuratly. They narc on each other for any infraction. If one kid has the opportunity to proudly proclaim some marvelously childish feat, the others will point out everything wrong that one has done for the past week.

I don't know why they do this, but I think it's because of the way they are treated by their parents. I could go on and on about the idiotic things that they do thinking they are good parents, but I'd rather not babble on about the people I live with.

I've never been jelouse and I don't understand it from people when I see it. I just don't understand these people.


--------------------

We have to answer our own prayers


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OfflineFrog
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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: recalcitrant]
    #3281923 - 10/26/04 11:49 PM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Hi, Recalcitrant!

I was just saying on another thread that I miss the people who usually post here, when they are absent.  You are one of those.  :grin:


--------------------
The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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OfflineFrog
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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: freddurgan]
    #3281933 - 10/26/04 11:52 PM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

freddurgan said:
I for one am pretty guilty of this. But I am aware of it at least, and I'd like to change.




Very forthcoming and honest.  Very refreshing.  :grin:


--------------------
The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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OfflineFrog
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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: recalcitrant]
    #3281958 - 10/27/04 12:00 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

recalcitrant said:
I usually lament about my bad luck in this encarnation. Or I'll give thanks for what I have, instead of admitting that I've given up on anything better.




Me, too. And I'll try to change what I think is my karma.

Quote:

I usually give credit where credit is due. I almost never criticize, let alone misplace my criticizm. I don't pretend to understand people who do things so differently than I would/do.




Me, too! I appreciate people who have acquired "things", not because things are so important, but because they have done well enough in their endeavors to have come to a place where they can afford to buy those things.

Same with criticism. I know that people can get themselves into a spot that is difficult, perhaps because of making bad decisions. I have never walked in their shoes, I have never lived their life, so who am I to criticize them for the decisions that they have made that caused them to land where I (would hope to) never land?

Quote:

I do notice that my nieces and nephew love to find and place fault accuratly. They narc on each other for any infraction. If one kid has the opportunity to proudly proclaim some marvelously childish feat, the others will point out everything wrong that one has done for the past week.





Maybe this is where it starts, is with the parents? And how they raise us?

Quote:

I've never been jelouse and I don't understand it from people when I see it. I just don't understand these people.




Me, neither. It can be disheartening, sometimes. Especially when you like someone.


--------------------
The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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Offlinelovelight
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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: Frog]
    #3282109 - 10/27/04 12:38 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

hmmmmm I don't see anything to be jealous over in the examples you listed. Being attractive is a very subjective concept. I see every person as a unique and special contribution to the bigger picture. The world is beautiful and interesting because of its extreme diversity, and the people in it are part of what make it so. As for success, who says it has to be measured with money? My respect goes out to those who work on bettering themselves, and bettering the world we all share.

The problem of jealousy and insecurity come from our society's view of success. The emphasis is on the individual rather than the collective. There are no community values. This makes it easier for capitalists and politicians to control us, to wage war, to encourage consumerism...

:heart:


--------------------
Turn on your lovelight, let it shine on me


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Offlinekbilly
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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: lovelight]
    #3282329 - 10/27/04 01:34 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

a small person not being big want to at least feel big, so they denigrate other people, make them smaller so they are bigger in comparison.

why do they do it, because its a lot easier than growing themselves.


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OfflineFrog
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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: kbilly]
    #3282353 - 10/27/04 01:41 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

BINGO!!!  :grin:

Or, in other words, people are basically lazy.  Easier to put others down than to try harder one's self.


--------------------
The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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OfflineFrog
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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: lovelight]
    #3282418 - 10/27/04 01:58 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

lovelight said:
hmmmmm I don't see anything to be jealous over in the examples you listed. Being attractive is a very subjective concept. I see every person as a unique and special contribution to the bigger picture. The world is beautiful and interesting because of its extreme diversity, and the people in it are part of what make it so.




Not every one sees things this way. I'm impressed with your thinking.

Quote:

As for success, who says it has to be measured with money? My respect goes out to those who work on bettering themselves, and bettering the world we all share.




I agree that success isn't measured by money. My point is that people who strive hard, usually who put time into going to school, or into working their way up some ladder, those achievements are measured by what people can afford to buy. So it's not what people own, per se, they measures success, but that they ended up in a position to be able to buy those things. They were successful at what they do, that enabled them to buy those things.

Quote:

The problem of jealousy and insecurity come from our society's view of success. The emphasis is on the individual rather than the collective. There are no community values. This makes it easier for capitalists and politicians to control us, to wage war, to encourage consumerism...





In a way, I'm glad that the emphasis is on the individaul rather than on the collective. If the emphasis was on the collective, than we would be like a communist country. With the emphasis on the individual, we have a capitalist society. (Read Ayn Rand)


--------------------
The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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OfflineTodcasil
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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: Frog]
    #3282439 - 10/27/04 02:07 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

lovelight speaks for me sometimes, like in this thread.

thanks lovelight :heart:


--------------------
Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect
GODDESSES
Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud
GODS.


~Casil



:cactus:


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OfflineTodcasil
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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: Todcasil]
    #3282445 - 10/27/04 02:09 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

btw, reading ayn rand did little to make me believe capitalism was such a heavenly thing. i believe in hard work, i believe in sharing and compassion. LOTS of it.


--------------------
Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect
GODDESSES
Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud
GODS.


~Casil



:cactus:


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OfflineTodcasil
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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: Todcasil]
    #3282448 - 10/27/04 02:09 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

buying things, to me, isnt impressive.


--------------------
Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect
GODDESSES
Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud
GODS.


~Casil



:cactus:


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OfflineFrog
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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: Todcasil]
    #3282454 - 10/27/04 02:11 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Todcasil said:
btw, reading ayn rand did little to make me believe capitalism was such a heavenly thing. i believe in hard work, i believe in sharing and compassion. LOTS of it.




But that was the point (imo) of Ayn Rand's books! Work hard, provide for others, and make money from it!


--------------------
The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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InvisibleSwami
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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: Frog]
    #3282467 - 10/27/04 02:17 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

When you see someone who is better looking than you...

Like who?  :wink:


--------------------



The proof is in the pudding.


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OfflineFrog
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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: Swami]
    #3282483 - 10/27/04 02:20 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Kermit???  :whatever:  :heart:


--------------------
The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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OfflineFrog
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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: freddurgan]
    #3282546 - 10/27/04 02:32 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

freddurgan said:
I think the jealousy stems from the insecurity. If you are secure with who you are then you aren't going to have a reason to criticize others for their success. If you are insecure, then their success becomes skewed, and becomes your failure. "It's their success, not mine.."

I for one am pretty guilty of this. But I am aware of it at least, and I'd like to change.




You were dead-on, from the start.


--------------------
The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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InvisibleSwami
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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: Frog]
    #3282578 - 10/27/04 02:40 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

LOL! Guess I cannot compete with another frog, but was talking about in the eyes of a HUMAN female...  :grin:


--------------------



The proof is in the pudding.


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Offlinelovelight
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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: Frog]
    #3282589 - 10/27/04 02:42 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Frog said:I agree that success isn't measured by money. My point is that people who strive hard, usually who put time into going to school, or into working their way up some ladder, those achievements are measured by what people can afford to buy. So it's not what people own, per se, they measures success, but that they ended up in a position to be able to buy those things. They were successful at what they do, that enabled them to buy those things.



I believe that these kinds of goals (education, career and money) can be very virtuous if they are not purely self-driven. I wish that people who are in 'successful positions' wanted to help create a better world with opportunities for everyone. Why can't they feel satisfaction in spending their money on a cause, rather than extra things, just because they can afford them? Why is there never a point where they have enough? Why does everyone want status and acknowlegement and material evidence of their accomplishements?

Quote:

In a way, I'm glad that the emphasis is on the individaul rather than on the collective. If the emphasis was on the collective, than we would be like a communist country. With the emphasis on the individual, we have a capitalist society. (Read Ayn Rand)



The kind of 'collective' I'm reffering to is the result of people being equal, united, accepting, loving, and therefore cherishing similar values... thereby surpassing politics and transcending society's imposed notions of the individual.


--------------------
Turn on your lovelight, let it shine on me


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Offlinelovelight
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Re: Jealousy, Insecurity [Re: Todcasil]
    #3282605 - 10/27/04 02:45 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Todcasil said:
lovelight speaks for me sometimes, like in this thread. thanks lovelight :heart:



that's a great compliment coming from you!

Quote:

buying things, to me, isnt impressive


you speak for me also! thank you back!  :heart:


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