Since there are 13 pages about me, several questions, as well as some statements made that require clarification, I went against my original judgement and decided to try to clear up some of the drama.
Perhaps some background would be necessary. Even some personal info about me, if that would help.
First, let me say, the reason I am "coy" and sly about where I work and where I live is for one reason, and one reason only. To protect myself. There is a whole division within every department dedicated to policing their own, and I can tell you, without a shadow of a doubt, IA would have a nice talk with me, if they knew I was here, and they would have reason to do so. Nothing would come out of it, since I'm not here to work, and I'm not here doing anything wrong but partaking in conversation, but it would cause stress that I don't need, and bring attention to you, that none of you want.
Now if I was setting up deals, inquiring about how to grow shrooms, asking for ingredients for various susbstances, acting in a capacity that would make my department liable, it would be completely different, but I'm simply conversing with interesting people.
So yes, I am purposely hiding certain aspects of myself, not to protect myself from you, or to slink around like Mr. Secret Agent Man, but to keep any bullshit from starting up on my end.
That being said, I haven't been in law enforcement that long. 6 years. But before I got involved in it, I was not exactly the model citizen. At one point I also had a problem with prescription drugs and alcohol, but I worked through it, and I've been around it all for a long time (all kinds of drugs, you name it), not just from work, but from my own problems, and friends; some of them who continue to do it. Because of my unique point of view, I don't necessarily agree with existing drug laws, and I think millions and millions of dollars are wasted on them, but I don't get paid for my opinion.
Someone stated Syko. She never once asked me to help her. Never once did she "call the cops". She simply mentioned her problems with being harassed in e-mails, phone, messenger, and on her journal, and it had gotten to the point of ridiculousness, and regardless of how much she may or may not have been a bitch here in the past, it was hurting her, and no one should have to endure that kind of treatment. It was a conversation any friend would have with another. Being someone who had the power to look into it, I did. Any of you would have done the same for any of your friends, I'm sure.
I orginally approached Ythan with concerns of outside harassment of a friend. Outside harassment. In the process of talking with him, I also mentioned a possibility of liability to himself and the site because of it. Granted, it was a very very slim possibility, but a possibility none-the-less. But mainly, I wanted the harassment to end, and if I could prevent some people from getting in trouble over something as stupid as it all was, then even better. That is why I announced who I was, and what I was doing. If I was here to bust people, do you honestly think I would have done so?
I have had talks like I did with Ythan several different times, with different people (unrelated instances), and never have I had such a pleasurable experience, and been treated with such respect from him, his Administrators and his moderators.
Originally I approached the OTD under the assumption that the whole place was a cesspool of cracked out, egotistical, internet bullies, who needed to be knocked off their high horses.
I was wrong. They proved me wrong. It was only a few select assholes that not even their own community cared much for.
After Ythan and my exchange of e-mails, I realized that it was unfair to judge, especially knowing what I know about the "other side of the law" and decided to hang around a few days to give them the benefit of the doubt. I'm glad I did, and I began to enjoy my interactions with 90% of them, I ignored the rest who jacked with me. I learned long ago, to ignore people who were too insignificant to communicate with, most especially on the internet.
I enjoy interacting with different people, so, I figured "What the hell" and stuck around a bit.
Now, LF and 40 bring up a good point. I would feel the same way, and their concerns are valid (regardless of how they may have expressed them).
Honestly, if I was here to bust ass in an official capacity, I would sit silently and watch for about two weeks, not telling anyone who I was. I'd gather pictures, take screen captures, check out profiles, and put together suspect case files. That's how it would start, and the first person I would go after is LF. He's too paranoid, seems to have a shitload of time on his hands, doesn't seem to possess that much intelligence, projects an ungodly amount of false bravado, thrives off of drama, rolls around in attention like a pig in slop, has a habit of bad mouthing authority while he sits on his ass behind his computer screen, and has a giant anarchy symbol in his sig, all of which scream guilt. Might as well scream it on a street corner with a bullhorn. It makes sense he would be the one to raise such a stink about me hanging out here. I'll just leave it at that, as I'm not here to flame people.
I've taken alot of heat throughout this ordeal, and it's caused stress that I did not expect, not just from certain people here, but it's also put alot of stress on Syko's and my friendship, and it will never be the same again, I am afraid. I had hoped that in time, she would come to accept the fact that I acted with her best interests in mind, but I am beginning to think that's not going to happen anytime soon, because she really loves this place, and few assholes, and drama aside, I can see why. I don't think she's going to let me live this one down. A real pity. I hate losing friends like this, over something so ridiculous.
But I did learn a valuable lesson. To never do this again.
In closing, I would never want to make people feel uncomfortable in their own community. I'm an outsider. That being said, out of respect for the community and it's Administrators, I will take my leave of you all, and go back to the other of the fence.
To Ythan, the other Administrators, Moderators, and those of you whom I've cultivated some sort of acquaintance, and even loose friendship with in the short period of time I have been here, thank you. It has been a ton of fun for me, that was needed much more than you know, and brought back alot of memories of old times.
Ythan, please ban me, to further avoid anymore drama regarding my presence here. The last thing I want is to be party to any sort of drama, if it can be avoided.
Take care, TBS
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