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InvisibleMOTH
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Four Gram Redemption trip report...need advice.
    #3711273 - 02/01/05 02:21 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

On Saturday, Kristi and I took 4 grams of mushrooms. I knew this was a big trip for her, and it was for me too, since this was the highest dose for me since my 5 gram trip 8 months ago. I knew I had to do things right, so we had a little ceremony next to my Buddha and Jesus alter in my bedroom, with the lights dimly lit and incense burning. We wrote out our intentions for the mushroom, and then blew rustica tobacco smoke over the shrooms to protect them from evil spirits and bad energies. Then we sanctified our trip space the same way. I ate mine with peanut butter, and she ate hers plain.

Once we started tripping, we put in the DVD "Illuminated Chakras." One word: Wow. I could tell Kristi was fighting the trip at some parts, but soon she settled into the trip and went along for the ride. It was during "Waking Life" that things started to really pick up for me. It was so strange. I first felt like I was *inside* the movie, but then I realized that I *was* the movie. That's when the egoloss started. I could feel myself growing anxious, so I just took a deep breath, concentrating on the rise and fall of my chest. I alternated between curling up into a ball and sitting up for a breath of fresh air, before diving down again. It was very odd, and infinitely perfect. That space was beautiful, and eternal. For some reason, I just gave in. "I" dissolved away into a pool of blue and gold "everything-ness" and existed in that state for quite some time. I couldn't tell the difference between Kristi or myself, or myself and the chair, or myself and the TV. It all became the same creature, existing in the same state. I sadly don't have much memory of this time, which is why I sort of feel sad.

The trip was definitely bittersweet. It was both not as intense as I had hoped for, and yet everything I had hoped for. I think I have just gotten so used to fighting the trips and having a whacked out time that when I finally surrendered and gave in during a trip, it seemed not as strong or overwelming as I had grown accustomed to. Don't get me wrong...I am *so* thankful for the experience. But I feel empty about it. I'm not sure why. Part of me worries that I am getting a "hard head" with mushrooms. This is the third time I've tripped that I've gotten hardly any visuals. And yeah, I know that visuals aren't everything, but the general intensity seems to be going down for me with mushrooms. Another part of me wonders if the visuals only appear if I am fighting it. Because the one awesome part of that trip on Sunday was that I surrendered totally and utterly, allowing myself to be absorbed into nothing, and it felt wonderful. But I don't know...I miss the intensity that I used to get with shrooms. Keep in mind that I only take them once every 1-2 months. Hmm...I wonder if it is just the shrooms I have, or if it's me.

Anyway, overall, an amazing weekend, but I wish I felt happier about the lovely time I had while tripping.

Any advice? Another thing is that I always seem to have a very looonngg come up. The past few trips I've had it's been about 2+ hours before I really start tripping. Now, it might just be the shrooms, because there have been times where I've been seeing big visuals within 20 minutes of ingestion. I guess at this point I'm wondering if the shrooms are just weak, or if I'm just getting somehow more..."immune" to them?

Thanks in advance

*me*


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OfflineRoseM
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Re: Four Gram Redemption trip report...need advice. [Re: MOTH]
    #3711416 - 02/01/05 03:10 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Try tripping on LESS shrooms next time. Don't expect the mushroom to show you everything. Sometimes, you have to ask.

If that doesn't work... NEXT time take more... and so on.

:P

Mushrooms kick your ass when you're ready for it... you know THAT. Sometimes they're bashful.

Perhaps your ego is shrinking.

They can't all be the best trip ever.


--------------------
Fiddlesticks.



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InvisibleMOTH
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Re: Four Gram Redemption trip report...need advice. [Re: Rose]
    #3711423 - 02/01/05 03:13 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Cervantes said:
Try tripping on LESS shrooms next time. Don't expect the mushroom to show you everything. Sometimes, you have to ask.

If that doesn't work... NEXT time take more... and so on.

:P

Mushrooms kick your ass when you're ready for it... you know THAT. Sometimes they're bashful.

Perhaps your ego is shrinking.

They can't all be the best trip ever.




Good point.  My last few doses have been smallish (2-3g) and so I guess I was "expecting" (and admittedly, sort of wanting...) my ass to be kicked.  Oh well...I'm sure it'll happen again one of these days.  :wink:


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Offlinemikl
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Re: Four Gram Redemption trip report...need advice. [Re: MOTH]
    #3711472 - 02/01/05 03:37 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

I've learned to never expect the trip to be any way in particular. Just let it happen. I dont get the same visuals I did before I learned to respect the mushroom as a tool. I believe you had a great experience and you should hold on to that instead of expecting a pretty show.


--------------------
MAY YOU BE NURTURED BY THE FRUITS OF YOUR LABOR.


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InvisibleMOTH
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Re: Four Gram Redemption trip report...need advice. [Re: mikl]
    #3711512 - 02/01/05 03:48 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

I wasn't expecting a pretty show. I was only expecting the trip to kick my ass. I admit I shouldn't have expected anything. Expectation like that is a feature of the ego. I consider the trip a success because I was able to let go completely and had a nice time. I know when I need an asskicking by the mushroom, it will happen. I was just sharing my thoughts.


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Offlinemikl
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Re: Four Gram Redemption trip report...need advice. [Re: MOTH]
    #3711660 - 02/01/05 04:42 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Sounds like it was a great success. Oneness.......ego death. I understand where you are coming from though, and the visions are a lot of fun. Like a kid in a cartoon!


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MAY YOU BE NURTURED BY THE FRUITS OF YOUR LABOR.


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InvisibleMOTH
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Re: Four Gram Redemption trip report...need advice. [Re: mikl]
    #3711727 - 02/01/05 05:06 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

haha, yeah...I appreciate the feedback man, thanks.  :cool:


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OfflineBeenHereNow
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Re: Four Gram Redemption trip report...need advice. [Re: MOTH]
    #3711801 - 02/01/05 05:44 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Sounds like YOU missed the ego aspects of a trip. YOU created the ego for a reason - it can be a fun toy. Playing in the relative landscapes of the divided self is part of the mystery of existence and a fantasy that brings us pleasure. Two ways to trip. Ego-death ain't everything! YOU have eternity to play, sometimes in the great reserve of the undivided oneness, sometimes in the colorful fields of creation. Your choice, don't punish yourself for wanting to use your endless imagination and abilities to create dualistic reality. It's all part of the fun. Pretend! Lila is God's magnificent play... YOU wanted it that way, after all.


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Invisiblemecreateme
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Re: Four Gram Redemption trip report...need advice. [Re: BeenHereNow]
    #3712275 - 02/01/05 10:13 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

It is like when you get to that place you kind of don't want to be there. There is so much more solace and comfort in this world of senses. But just remember that this world is also filled with suffering. This is the world of polarity and like BeenHereNow said YOU wanted it that way.
Don't be so naieve as to think you are no longer affected by the mushroom so much. I promise you, they will surprise you more and more.
The deeper you go...


--------------------
No ONE wants to know the ultimate TRUTH, as soon as YOU find IT out, YOU want to forget IT.

You are everything's way of feeling itself.

Happy Schwag, everygodly!


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InvisibleMOTH
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Re: Four Gram Redemption trip report...need advice. [Re: BeenHereNow]
    #3714762 - 02/01/05 07:54 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

BeenHereNow said:
Sounds like YOU missed the ego aspects of a trip.  YOU created the ego for a reason - it can be a fun toy.  Playing in the relative landscapes of the divided self is part of the mystery of existence and a fantasy that brings us pleasure.  Two ways to trip.  Ego-death ain't everything!  YOU have eternity to play, sometimes in the great reserve of the undivided oneness, sometimes in the colorful fields of creation.  Your choice, don't punish yourself for wanting to use your endless imagination and abilities to create dualistic reality.  It's all part of the fun.  Pretend!  Lila is God's magnificent play... YOU wanted it that way, after all.




Great advice from everyone.  The above post hit the nail on the head I think!  :smile:

Thanks fellas.


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OfflineRoseM
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Re: Four Gram Redemption trip report...need advice. [Re: MOTH]
    #3716036 - 02/01/05 11:20 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

How's school?


--------------------
Fiddlesticks.



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InvisibleMOTH
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Re: Four Gram Redemption trip report...need advice. [Re: Rose]
    #3716627 - 02/02/05 01:00 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Pretty good...I'm taking philosophy this semester and filling my head with a lot of interesting ideas.  :smile:


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