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Offlinebrowndustin
dustybuddy

Registered: 10/03/03
Posts: 2,957
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
fuck
    #3691563 - 01/28/05 12:43 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Okay!

This sucks

There's a girl I know, her mom is really over protective. She loves me, thinks I'm an awesome guy, and I've been bestfriends with her daughter for a while. One night we even cried together (the mom and I) because we just had the deepest talk about life, etc. She's a great woman, she's into spirituality and healing and she's really together. Unfortunately her street smarts are lacking, and on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being Tupac and 1 being Fred Penner (Really bad scale, I don't care, I'm angry and clouded) she's a -5! No exaggeration at all.
Take this situation. Her eldest daughter dated someone who did coke. Her mom found out, went to the police station and pulled up his record, and told everyone at the highschool that he's a coke dealer. She almost got sued for slander, probably put her daughter through psychological hell, and more than likely made a big ass out of herself for blowing this situation out of proportion.

Now I'm not entirely sure if posting one bad example's going to provide the proper background information, but it's a start... her mom, she's told me she thinks I met their family for a good reason, and that she feels I'm really spiritually awake. And although she probably didn't suspect that her daughter and I had feelings manifesting for eachother (I did have a serious gf at the time I met this girl) she acted casual nonetheless.
The girl is really sweet and pure, I've never met anyone like her before. People say that a lot, but I swear the energy that emits from her is so pure, that it's unlike anyone I've ever encountered in my entire life. I felt this way before I had a single feeling for her, and I could not make myself stop admiring her. I think that we have such a healthy relationship, and I feel blessed that she's finally opened up enough to want to take it further. Took her 6 months just to give me a hug, that's how shy she is.

Now finally to the situation as of late. Her mom came downstairs last night to find me in her bed, fully clothed, actually wearing fricken jeans and knowing that I was tired as hell from my flu and cough medicine, and told me to get out because I know better. Understandably I abided by her wishes and didn't argue at all, it was totally understandable. Really sucks that I got caught though. The furthest her and I have gone was cuddling anyways. The real sick part is that she called her dad, whom she divorced, and told him she found us hiding under the covers together really late at night. Putting it in that context really twists the situation around and is going to put any father into a cold shock! Fuck! I have such a good relationship with him too, I respect and revear him. No I'm fucking scared to even think of the guy... all he could say to my friend was that he could take her car away, and he demanded to know why we had to be under the covers together. Jesus fucking Christ.

I want to talk to the mom, but she sort of has a holier than thou sort of ego. Funny thing is, she's a self proclaimed healer, and I'd have to admit she's a damn good one, but sadly and ironically her ego's clouding her view. She takes her daughter for a god damned fool, even though she went off about how her last tarot reading said she has nothing to worry about. She hasn't had a relationship for a while, which I know is going to be a big factor, and she told her daughter that even though I'm a great guy I'm still a "boy". I'm assuming that she associates the word boy with nothing but SEX SEX SEX. If I were in it for that, I wouldn't have bothered waiting on this girl. I haven't had SEX SEX SEX for almost a year, and if I can abstain for this long and perhaps another year (Could very well be the case, no exaggeration) then I'm fully commited to staying with this girl. Even if it takes another damn year before she kisses me with tongue, I don't care.

How do I talk to her? I'll have to eventually. Her daughter's pretty shooken up, she's more gentle than a feather, but strangly enough she's really strong mentally at the same time. But no doubt this is going to be a slap in the face for her, coming from her mother whom she has a wonderful relationship with otherwise. I've never witnessed such a close mother-daughter bond, but her mom's such a fucking hypocrite when it comes to things like this. She's adamant that her sayings are fucking gods word, and this is the only thing I don't like about the woman. Her logic is dangerous not only to the wellbeing and upbringing of her daughters, but to herself! I like the woman a lot, but she's so stubborn.
I brought up the subject about parents sometimes being over protective, and all she did was smile and I could literally see the words I said bounce off of her stupid grin! I can't beleive how she filters out the things she doesn't like. The lady's a complete moron when it comes to some things unfortunately, and I really hate to say it.

Any advice on what I can say to her, not particularly in my defence. When it comes to this situation, all I'm planning on doing is bending over and telling her that whatever we do, ever, will be thought out responsibly and she'll have to respect that. As she's fully aware that I respect her and her daughter as much as I do myself. But down the line, I'd like to let her know that she really can't do this to me or her daughter anymore. Most nights her mom wakes up and screaaaams her name, "KAAARRRLAA, KARRRLAAAAA!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU!!!!" and I've heard it many times before. A couple nights when she never picked up her cell phone, she drove around town past mid night going to all of her friends' houses, waking up all of the parents who work crazy shifts. *ahem* My parents were not pleased to say the least. And even when she has her cell phone on, and ready to take a call at any moment, and not even out past 10pm (Sometimes even at home in her room reading a book!!) her mom thinks it'd be okay to drive around the neighbourhood and go to everyones house looking for her daughter.... my parents again, who both work odd hours and go to school as well did not appreciate the wake up call.

This post is very unclear! Yes! I'm sober, a little jaded, and I have a hard time typing in this tiny box so I just hope I didn't ramble too much. If anyone manages to screen all of the filler/extra junk and decypher this message, I'd love for you to post, or pm me any advice. It'll be considered, and passed on to my friend as well. This is more for her sake than mine. Fuck this bed situation, she'll get over it, I'm just worried about my friends well being. I really don't think her mom she worry this much. She desperately needs a man, or something. I hate to talk so much smack about her but it's all true, she's even worse than how I've described her. Please help


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When the stress burns my brain it's like acid raindrops
maryjane is the only thing that makes the pain stop


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InvisibleBoom
Supervisor
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Posts: 11,245
Loc: Cypress Creek
Re: fuck [Re: browndustin]
    #3691704 - 01/28/05 01:17 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

I'd have one of those "talks" with her.  I'd be nice about it, citing examples of her craziness.  Tell her to relax her reign on her daughter, cite the emotional distress she causes her.

It sounds like shes crazy.  Maybe her daughter is the last thing she feels she can control in her life.  Maybe she ran the gammet with drugs and sex and staying out late, got knocked up young and had to settle down, I don't know.

Either way I'd say talk to her about it, and if she doesn't listen, :shrug: I dunno


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Offlinebrowndustin
dustybuddy

Registered: 10/03/03
Posts: 2,957
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
Re: fuck [Re: Boom]
    #3691739 - 01/28/05 01:31 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Well I hate to post so much about her, partly due to a bit of paranoia talking about real life friends and family... but her childhood was a bit sad. Abusive father. The grammy seemed to be a beacon of light, such a wonderful woman from what I hear and it's a shame that I never got to meet her. She passed, I'm guessing about 5 years ago or so... it's something that was already in the back of my mind the whole time. The eldest daughter moved out, so it's only her and Karla.
I know, big contributing factor which I never bothered to post. Another reason why she needs a man. Mostly to be there and say "Honey, don't worry", because even that can go a heck of a long way and for many reasons I can understand. Fortunately she has met someone and I think they'll begin dating.

I really hope I can muster up something good to say to her. I don't want to be on the defensive at all. I just want to let her know, for her sake, that she has to let her daughter make informed decisions and fly away from the nest. She'll be moving out in a couple years herself, the present is a critical time and this I know she understands. Perhaps she can't bare to deal with this fact. Any mothers on this forum?


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When the stress burns my brain it's like acid raindrops
maryjane is the only thing that makes the pain stop


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InvisibleEgo Death
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Posts: 10,447
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Re: fuck [Re: browndustin]
    #3692839 - 01/28/05 11:35 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

I've met mothers like that before all you can do is wait and either way you will be hated for a while for 'taking her daughter from her'.

I bet she demonises you if you try and defend you actions in any way.


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Offlinebrowndustin
dustybuddy

Registered: 10/03/03
Posts: 2,957
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
Re: fuck [Re: Ego Death]
    #3696194 - 01/29/05 02:30 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Meh... went to her house today, saw her mom. She said nothing to either of us.. fuck her. If she wants to claim that she's a fucking master, yet totally shut down and be a hypocrite because she's got problems with fear then I can only pity her and hope she gets through this.

Guess these posts have been a waste of time. Sorry if I wasted anyone elses. Thought that I could be proactive, but it's not always in my power to resolve things. She needs off her high horse, and I'm willing to drop whatever. :sad:


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When the stress burns my brain it's like acid raindrops
maryjane is the only thing that makes the pain stop


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Invisiblemecreateme
YoUisMEEMsiUoY
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Registered: 05/13/04
Posts: 2,727
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Re: fuck [Re: browndustin]
    #3713229 - 02/01/05 01:36 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)

If the girl is old enough, you guys should go somewhere together.
I know she is shy at this point. But this is totally unhealthy, what I like to call crazies for parents. The older girl moved out for a reason, I am thinking. Ask the girl how she feels about the whole thing and how you could help her out. Just don't kill the mom, bad idea.


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No ONE wants to know the ultimate TRUTH, as soon as YOU find IT out, YOU want to forget IT.

You are everything's way of feeling itself.

Happy Schwag, everygodly!


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InvisibleKackleDude
transmundaneother

Registered: 06/11/02
Posts: 863
Loc: Close to the Edge, Down b...
Re: fuck [Re: mecreateme]
    #3715375 - 02/01/05 09:22 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)

I'm assuming Karla knows her mom's insanity?
Only advice i have to give is have a good talk with her mom man, sounds like she needs a mental refresher. best of luck to ya.


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yeeeahh, it's gonna be well wicked


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Offlinebrowndustin
dustybuddy

Registered: 10/03/03
Posts: 2,957
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
Re: fuck [Re: KackleDude]
    #3715449 - 02/01/05 09:36 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)

Yeah her mom's there, but at the same time she's really gone. Karla knows, lol, oh she knows her moms a little wacky like that. Finally, her mom was able to sit down with her and shed her egotistical attitude towards the situation, and everything else in general, and they had a good laugh. I still feel a little akward around her as she completely avoided me when I went to their house a few nights ago. Not to mention, she caused a real nice mess between her dad and I, and I'm too scared to talk to him. He's a great guy, fucking sweetest man I've ever met and I feel as though I've sort of betrayed him. Shouldn't validate the feelings I'm having, as I really didn't do anything, and I could be fucking her brains out but I'm not..

I dunno, things are "good" now I suppose. Once I get past the initial akwardness and actually talk to her, this'll be old news. She's still a bit of a headcase and I'm really too bored to talk to her. A little hurt by the whole thing. Maybe it doesn't sound like a bad situation in context, but it was a real uneeded headache. I just really, really hope that when I do talk to her mom, that she broadens her horizons a bit, and comes to grips with what must have happened to her as a child. She needs to let go of her daughter, she'll be moving out in a year or so anyways. And luckily, the mom's found a male interest, and it seems that they're slowly developing a great relationship! Bonus!


--------------------
When the stress burns my brain it's like acid raindrops
maryjane is the only thing that makes the pain stop


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Offlinekadakuda
The Great"Green".......East
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Re: fuck [Re: browndustin]
    #3716933 - 02/02/05 02:04 AM (11 years, 9 months ago)

its a toughy. only time its gotten better in my experience is when teh daughter talks to her parents, and time.

i also find it extremely hard with dads. after all your taking thier inocent little girl. moms seem to be able to get over things better/faster. but in time you can be the best of friends.....they jsut dotn want to think about the more intimate details....which i can only assume would be ahrd if she is living with her mom.

gotta remember these are the people who wne t through her little temper tantums over what colour to wear, and all her emberassing thigns in life. i dont know how parents can handle their kids growing up, be a tough one for sure.


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The seeds you won't sow are the plants you dont grow.


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Offlinebrowndustin
dustybuddy

Registered: 10/03/03
Posts: 2,957
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
Re: fuck [Re: kadakuda]
    #3720642 - 02/02/05 08:55 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)

Ahh, well her father is cool again, apparently. He took her out for dinner and had a good time, it's understandably hard for him as he sees her less than the mom, etc. If the mom never came around, I could hardly care. The father's has a heart of gold, plus he's very down to earth. lol I really idolize him.

The mother came around as well. Finally. It's really unlike her to ever get like this, still absolutely sickening how hypocritical she could become in such a short amount of time. She knows me better and I'm still hurt by her actions, but she wants to talk to me about this over some tea or somethin. :cheers:

I don't know when I'll talk to her. To be honest, I'm moving in a couple of weeks, I have lots of work and things to take care of. I'm too lazy to talk to her, plus I'd like to give her a couple more days to cool off and think about things. I'm just really thankful that there's a window of opportunity to fully resolve the issue, and it's a phone call or 5 minute walk away. My faith in the humananity has been restored. lol :heart:

Thanks for the advice, people. Things always do fall in place for me, it's just a matter of trying to handle the situation as responsibly as I'm able to. But it's really good to have a place to basically vent, and get a little assistance. kudos


--------------------
When the stress burns my brain it's like acid raindrops
maryjane is the only thing that makes the pain stop


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InvisibleShroomOmatic
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Re: fuck [Re: browndustin]
    #3720749 - 02/02/05 09:15 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)

Talk to her. Overprotection is bullshit. She has a right to be protective but not at that level.


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OfflineMycoJunkie
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Registered: 11/04/04
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Re: fuck [Re: ShroomOmatic]
    #3722473 - 02/03/05 01:09 AM (11 years, 9 months ago)

Sounds like way too much trouble.

But see,
I'm not down with non-cool people.


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:cussing::whip:


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