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Offlinemotheradvice
A MOTHER
Registered: 06/25/04
Posts: 21
Last seen: 12 years, 8 months
MY DAUGHTER AMBER, & NICK...LIFE OR DEATH
    #2826693 - 06/25/04 03:52 AM (13 years, 7 days ago)

I just may need some advice from you all. This is what is happening in my world. My daughter Amber just turned 17 and graduated this year. Thats a good thing. Amber has been talking to Nick who just turned 22 years old. She met him online almost 4 years ago and has been close friends. A month ago Amber ask me if Nick could come to her graduation party. I pay for Nick to fly in from Phoenix AZ. Nick sleeps in my guest room on the third floor and Amber is in her bedroom on the first floor. Amber & Nick decides to become more than friends. One day Amber tells me her and Nick made love. Oh boy...no protection...I know I set myself up for this but wait it gets better. I trust my daughter and we have a very close mother and daughter relationship. I can see Nick is in love with Amber deeply. On the other hand Amber is only 17 and in September she will attend college. WITH AMBERS ACTIONS CONCERNING THIS RELATIONSHIP, I feel Amber is not ready for adult decisions. I heard Amber and Nick yelling at eachother. Yeah I got nosey and asked what was going on. Amber wants to go back to being just friends. Amber states Nick is smothering her and she does not want to be in a relationship with him AT THIS TIME but has dedicated herself to him in the future for marriage and children. I know this is a weird arrangement but they are kids anyways..Before Nick flew in, Amber was dating Timmy, the love of her life which he makes her happy. I know they have not been together sexually. Amber tells Nick, Timmy is who she wants to be with and he just has to accept it or just go back to AZ. Now it gets tricky. Nick does not want to go back to AZ because of the drugs. My understanding as of today is Nick was abusing drugs and became a alcoholic WHILE IN AZ INVIROMENT. Nick has been here for over 5 weeks. I know he has been clean since he has arrived in Maryland. He does not pay anything toward the household bills because I only ask for him to complete his college education here in Maryland. Nick is not eating,sleeping or being NORMAL because Amber broke it off with him. Okay now Nick is staying in my home and Amber goes back to Timmy where she states she wants to be. Yesterday Nick was using my lap top and I found this forum... which he wrote;
http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat...;o=&fpart=1
NICK wrote;
its absolutly fucking amazing what love will do to a person.....person after person will warn you.....you turn a deaf ear....THEN YOU GET FUCKED....i met this girl 4 years ago off the net.....past 6 months weve been dating off and on....I CHANGE MY FUCKING LIFE FOR THIS BITCH....lemme back up...this chick has been writting me letters in the past year and telling me on the fone how she wants to marry me have kids move to ireland with me....bought me all sorts of shit....had sex possibly might have a kid on the way and we both want to keep it!!!! i moved i treated her like gold....i made her my world. she kept blaming me of not trusting here....today she had her ex bf who was her close friend of hers came over today...i told her i totally trusted her....she PROMISED me she wasn't going to go anywhere.....i take a shower walk downstairs to change my lanudry and the BITCH IS STRADDLING HER EX BF IN A OUTFIT SHE BOUGHT TO LOOK GOOD FOR ME WITH POSSIBLY OUR KID IN HER!!!!.....i flew into a fit and told her off pretty much and said i cant stand mind fucks and what not....she was very very very apologetic looked sorry and hurt....i come in her room later to tell her i still loved her and wanted to work things out....SHE IS ACTING PISSED AT ME LIKE I WAS THE ONE THAT DID SOMETHING WRONG AND NOW IS TELLING ME TO FUCK OFF NOT LIKE 2 HOURS AFTER APOLOGISING TO ME!! JESUS CHRIST HOW DOES ONE DEAL WITH THIS!!! i was so madly in love with this girl we slept in the same bed from the day i got off the plane....her mom flew me out and is letting me live here for free!!! and now she wants to throw it all away?! wtf is that?! what did i do wrong? it was funny even people i didn't know knew the whole situation and read it like a book but i didn't fuckin listen to them! some worker at spencers told the whole story and even said she was playing me like a fiddle! I asked my friends what do i have to lose nothing finacial.....they said your sanity...i shoulda listened.....i still have a free ride back to az but my heart has been fucking ripped out and stomped on and now she wants to be friends?!

now im almost ashamed to face people back in az....

--------------------
forgive everyone for everything

Nick is Calbha...When I read this post I was pissed off then again I realized he was too so I let it go. First of all I never seen this side of Nick. Okay back to the my problems...I paid for a plane ticket on JUNE 21, 2004 FOR NICK TO RETURN TO AZ ON JUNE 22, 2004, CAUSE AMBER AND HIM WERE ARGUEING AND NICK WAS HOUNDING AMBER..ON JUNE 22, 2004 AT 12:30AM AMBER WAKES ME UP TO TELL ME THEY WORKED EVERYTHING OUT AND WILL BE JUST FRIENDS. THEY WILL PAY ME BACK FOR THE UNUSED AIRPLANE TICKET...SO NOW NICK IS NOT BOARDING THE PLANE AND IS OKAY WITH BEING JUST FRIENDS...

okay Nick had a conversation with his online friends on JUNE 22, 2004.

Here is the conversation between NICK ( Calbha )and his friends on JUNE 22, 2004 at 7:34PM....

<Calbha> there some really cold hearted people out there how do they make themselves not care?
<PRIVATE> about what?
<PRIVATE> They feel as though others have treated them with unconcern
<Calbha> so how do they do it back
<PRIVATE> Or have come to believe through some sort of trauma that emotions are inherently dangerous and always lead to pain
<Calbha> so how do they stop them?
<Calbha> because thats what i wanna do!
<PRIVATE> How does who stop what?
<PRIVATE> lol
<PRIVATE> you sound stupid calbha
<Calbha> emtions!
<PRIVATE> I don't think you want to do that
<Calbha> PRIVATE i am stupid
<PRIVATE> girl problem i recon
<Calbha> oh i do
<PRIVATE> lol PRIVATE
<PRIVATE> Is he right, Calbha?
<PRIVATE> girls make boys stupid
<Calbha> PRIVATE this is more than a girl problem....my soul and heart was raped
<PRIVATE> and how
<PRIVATE> by a boy
<PRIVATE> or girl
<PRIVATE> How is that Calbha
<PRIVATE> It might not be as bad as it seems
<Calbha> brb ill let you read the post
<PRIVATE> Okay
<PRIVATE> he was gonna move across the country to live with his internet girlfriend, and when it came time to do so she bailed
<Calbha> oh no its worse than it seems
<PRIVATE> ;]
<PRIVATE> that is all a guess
<Calbha> PRIVATE im here now
<PRIVATE> but
<PRIVATE> ooh pretzel
<Calbha> okay when the site speeds up ill post it
<PRIVATE> :[
<PRIVATE> i know how you feel bro
<PRIVATE> but sometimes shit happens and theres nothing you can do about it 
<Calbha> http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat...;o=&fpart=1
<PRIVATE> and its usually not a reflection of you, but something else on them 
<Calbha> i might have a kid PRIVATE
<PRIVATE> you gonna pay child support 
<Calbha> did you read that PRIVATE?
<Calbha> PRIVATE?
<PRIVATE> I read it yeah
<PRIVATE> not the replies yet
<PRIVATE> yea
<PRIVATE> thats fucking brutal
<PRIVATE> well there was no love between you two I don't think
<Calbha> guess what shes down stairs with him right now!
<Calbha> PRIVATE maybe not on her part
<PRIVATE> You might have seen a lot of value in her for who she is, and all of that might have been very genuine, but..
<PRIVATE> If that's not returned then there's nothing mutual there, and really not much lost
<Calbha> wow
<PRIVATE> its tough dood
<PRIVATE> its gonna fuck with you for a while too
<PRIVATE> But you should ask yourself, I think, whether or not at least a part of you -- maybe a big part -- was exaggerating her good qualities and looking to them as a source of happiness or fulfillment, security or whatever
<Calbha> that has to be the most intelligent thing ive ever heard from anyone PRIVATE
<PRIVATE> you wont be able to trust anyone for a long time
<PRIVATE> especially women
<PRIVATE> And that's what might have set you up in the situation you are in now
<PRIVATE> That kind of confusion between love and attachment causes a lot of people to make life changing decisions that end in disaster 
<PRIVATE> Sometimes that has consequences on children who are involved, which is even more unfortunate
<PRIVATE> Hopefully she is not pregnant
<PRIVATE> That will make this whole ordeal much easier for you.
<Calbha> yeah theres a better chance shes not than she is but its impossible to tell till july
<Calbha> god bless you PRIVATE
<PRIVATE> But there is no reason for you to lose any of your own self-respect over this, or for you to feel ashamed around anybody else
<PRIVATE> im your friend too
<PRIVATE> pig fucker
<Calbha> no your not PRIVATE
<Calbha> i hate you
<Calbha> go to hell
<Calbha> :laugh:
<PRIVATE> ey
<Calbha> brb im going to email that to myself to remind myself
<PRIVATE> ive been here for a while
<PRIVATE> and what ive learned is, no matter what you go through, #shroomery will be there for you
<PRIVATE> The best thing you can do is acknowledge her for what she is in a non-hateful way, bear those responsibilities which you must, and lose none of your own dignity
<PRIVATE> ;D
<PRIVATE> what if im attached to someone and they are attached to me
<PRIVATE> but we both have bad qualities
<PRIVATE> have hate sex
<Calbha> but in the mean time i get to watch her all up on other guys PRIVATE and that still hurts ne suggestions on how to put that behind you?
<PRIVATE> Calbha: You seem like an intelligent fellow.
<PRIVATE> Kill her.
<Calbha> i think i should take the gangster way out
<PRIVATE> only stupid people don't get away with murder.
<PRIVATE> calbha
<PRIVATE> tell her friends that she has aids
<PRIVATE> That's mean
<PRIVATE> yeah if you're not worried about not getting any sex for a while
<PRIVATE> i like that guns and roses song
<Calbha> get drunk with her and get in a argument with her punch her in the stomach after she hits me to abort the kid then go home
<PRIVATE> Well Calbha it's not a reflection on you or your own self-worth that this girl feels the need to have sex with all these guys
<PRIVATE> tell them you both got aids
<PRIVATE> That's what you're probably feeling, as though you were not good enough to satisfy her, to maintain her interest, or to be loved by her
<PRIVATE> But that's not true at all.
PRIVATE> some hoes are just hoes
<PRIVATE> and thats how it goes
<Calbha> brb stop saying intelligent things for a moment

PLEASE NOTE that PRIVATE is many members talking to Nick..THE MEMBERS WHO WAS INVOLVED IN THIS CONVERSATION CAN CONTACT ME THROUGH E-MAIL IF THEY HAVE ANY INPUT TO ADD. Nick is aware of me posting to this forum with my concerns of his thoughts..I would like to add that IM ONLY SEEKING ADVICE AND YOUR OPINION ON THE SITUATION AT HAND. I TRUSTED AMBER TO KNOW THIS INDIVUAL (NICK) AND WOULD LIKE TO EASE MY MIND TO KNOW THAT AMBER IS SAFE TO CONTINUE ANY RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM IN MY HOUSE. IF YOU KNOW NICK PERSONALLY..WELL ON THIS FORUM I WOULD APPRECIATE YOUR GUIDANCE IN THIS POST OR BY E-MAIL. cross33heart@aol.com  PLEASE INSERT SUBJECT.. AMBER & NICK..OR I WILL NOT OPEN

OKAY FIRST OF ALL SHE IS NOT HAVING SEX WITH ANYONE. SECOND SHE ONLY HAD SEX WITH NICK ONCE AND NOW AMBER MIGHT BE PREGO. THIRD AMBER HAS ONLY BEEN WITH ONE OTHER PERSON WHICH WAS TWO YEARS AGO AND I KNOW THAT FOR A FACT CAUSE SHE TOLD ME RIGHT AFTER IT HAPPEN. PLUS AS SOON AS HER AND NICK HAD SEX SHE CAME TO ME WHICH NICK DID NOT WANT ME TO KNOW BUT LIKE I SAID SHE TELLS ME EVERYTHING.

Okay with that out on the table...After reading this I got upset what Nick wrote...

I copy, videotape all that I found then confronted Amber of my findings before I confront Nick..

Nick had explained his actions as JUST JOKING AROUND. I explained to him that this is not a joke and can be really serious. I told him his actions are NOWAY EXCUSEABLE and I can no longer trust him. He had tears and tried to explain his actions. I told him I would think about him staying or going back home. Amber wants him to stay and repeats that Nick would never do something like that...talking about the possible preg OR KILLING HER. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF IT WAS YOUR Daughter? I feel if I allow him to stay then I'm sitting back and waiting for him to kill my daughter WHICH WAS TOLD TO HIM BY A MEMBER or harm the baby as he states. I know I brought this on myself for allowing Nick to come into my home. Amber tells me today that Nick went through her computer. He read all of her and Timmy's im messages which he left them open for her to see ...I have always allowed my daughters to make their own choices and I have seen that AMBER HAS LEARNED FROM OTHERS MISTAKES AND HER OWN BUT THIS SEEMS TO BE OVER HER HEAD AND I DO NOT WANT TO GIVE NICK THE OPPORTUNITY TO DESTROY HIS LIFE AND OTHERS. What would you do? HOW WOULD YOU HANDLE THIS SITUATION? FOR THOSE WHO KNOWS NICK..Do you think Nick would follow through with his words? THANK-YOU FOR YOUR POST...
                                      Amber's mother


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OfflineChiefThunderbong
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Posts: 3,647
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Re: MY DAUGHTER AMBER, & NICK...LIFE OR DEATH [Re: motheradvice]
    #2826726 - 06/25/04 04:14 AM (13 years, 6 days ago)

After reading through that, I don't think he was serious at all......it did sound like he was just joking around. Sounds like he genuinely cares about her, I doubt he is gonna harm her. However, I don't think I'd allow him to stay in my house.
PS,
No offense, but your daughter sounds like a total bitch. And also, abortions are your friend.


--------------------
Yeah spinnin' around again
yea caught in a tailspin


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OfflineDreamer987
The VerbalHerman Munster
Female

Registered: 04/15/03
Posts: 5,326
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 9 years, 5 months
Re: MY DAUGHTER AMBER, & NICK...LIFE OR DEATH [Re: motheradvice]
    #2826727 - 06/25/04 04:14 AM (13 years, 6 days ago)

Wow, this is drama to the max!
Sneaking around in other peoples private conversations, turning around and posting this on an internet message board.
Your daughter sounds like a she needs to quit playing with peoples emotions like that. Obviously nobody was serious about killing anyone. It was a private conversation that you felt the need to get into.
How can you be shocked that someone (jokingly) talked about killing your daughter.
"oh you can come live with me, and we can get married and have kids, but oh wait i think i like my ex better, so lets just be friends, and you can live here and watch me and my boyfriend together"
I'd wana kill the bitch too.
Sorry Miss Jackson, but tell your daughter to keep her draws on untill shes old enouph to get out of your house.

oh and again thank you for the drama


--------------------


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OfflineChiefThunderbong
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Re: MY DAUGHTER AMBER, & NICK...LIFE OR DEATH [Re: Dreamer987]
    #2826738 - 06/25/04 04:21 AM (13 years, 6 days ago)

Shit, if I had a 22 year old druggie living in the same house as my 17 year old daughter I'd be sneaking around in his conversations too.
I agree that nobody was serious about killing or harming the girl though, even though it sounds like she prolly deserves it.


--------------------
Yeah spinnin' around again
yea caught in a tailspin


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OfflineKremlin
life in E minor
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Re: MY DAUGHTER AMBER, &amp; NICK...LIFE OR DEATH [Re: motheradvice]
    #2826772 - 06/25/04 04:48 AM (13 years, 6 days ago)

honestly now,

what did you expect to come of this situation?

Your daughter is 17 years old.

I hope you learn from this.


--------------------
"Human suffering has been caused because all too many of us cannot grasp that words are only tools for our use, and that the mere presence of a word in the dictionary does not mean it necessarily refers to something definitive in the real world"
--Richard Dawkins, "The Selfish Gene"

"It is the mind which creates the world about us, and even though we stand side by side in the same meadow, my eyes will never see what is beheld by yours."
-George Gissing

"Without a firm idea of himself and the purpose of his life, man cannot live, and would sooner destroy himself than remain on earth, even if he was surrounded by bread."
--Fyodor Dostoevsky


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InvisiblePsilostylin
Captain Save Em'
Registered: 03/13/04
Posts: 678
Loc: New Orleans!
Re: MY DAUGHTER AMBER, & NICK...LIFE OR DEATH [Re: motheradvice]
    #2826782 - 06/25/04 04:57 AM (13 years, 6 days ago)

she is very young and obviously immature but that is to be expected at such an age. "nick" should have taken that into consideration. he needs to understand that if there is no love from the one which you are in love with then there is truely nothing there except pain. horrible pain, i have been in his shoes and i know how he feels. i agree with everyone here when talked about killing someone....it was clearly a joke, but then again, i don't know this person. but based on my opinion i think it's nothing to worry about. i think he should return to his home in AZ, regardless of what they want. it's your home and you have the ultimate say. also, she is too young to be in a relationship with an adult (wheter she thinks she is or not...but based on her actions that you presented to us, i would say that she needs to grow up a lot...not to give your child a bad name, but she is a child and is expected to act like one....therefore, she should not be involved with older men) and clearly is causing him too much pain. i would just buy him a plane ticket and send him on his way..if he complains about returning to drugs then tell him to check into a rehab clinic. you were nice enough to allow a complete stranger into your home, along with a free ride there and back, with the idea that he and your daughter would have a great relationship....but in turn, she might have his child, she is ripping his heart all over the place, and you are stressing to your absolute measures. tell her to get a pregnancy test. if she is pregnant, abortion would probably be her/their best option because clearly she isn't mature enough for the role as a mother, and it doesn't sound like he would play too great of a role as a father as well....they are just way too young for that and still very childish.
send him home, learn from this, resume your daily life.

peace


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OfflineChiefThunderbong
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Re: MY DAUGHTER AMBER, &amp; NICK...LIFE OR DEATH [Re: Kremlin]
    #2826783 - 06/25/04 04:57 AM (13 years, 6 days ago)

Perhaps she was thinking her daughter was old enough to be somewhat responsible and practice safe sex, and maybe thinking that her daughter wasn't gonna play fucking games with the poor guys heart?

Edit- People keep talking about how young she is. I'm sorry, but 17 is not a little girl, she is old enough to know better. She is just a stupid bitch. I find it very hard to believe she hasn't had sex with Timmy, and prolly at least 6 other guys that Mommy dosn't know about. Abortions are your best friend.


--------------------
Yeah spinnin' around again
yea caught in a tailspin


Edited by ChiefThunderbong (06/25/04 05:01 AM)


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Invisiblewandrnshaman
old hand
Registered: 09/21/03
Posts: 1,196
Loc: Pinellas Co, FL
Re: MY DAUGHTER AMBER, &amp; NICK...LIFE OR DEATH [Re: ChiefThunderbong]
    #2826814 - 06/25/04 05:38 AM (13 years, 6 days ago)

yep, I've known mothers that would swear up and down they knew all their daughters did because the girls would tell them a few things but I'm sure this ones got a few stories of her own.

I couldn't understand why she was mad at Nick then I realized it was what he said about punching her...I think that thought would've crossed anyone's mind. It doesn't mean he'll do it. If you don't trust someone that much, why have them in the house?

Sounds like he's waiting for a miracle to come up and have the girl fall in love with him again. Bad scene all around and it will be a torture for everyone involved. Imo, he needs to go back west, sorry. Kid or not, the girl is going to do her own thing for the rest of her life and she already is. Having him around isn't going to make things easier for the baby.

I see no reason to condemn any of the people involved in this little slice of drama since I'm sure they all are condemning themselves. What's happened has happened and my condolences for the scene created. Its just life, what's life without a little drama.
:smile:


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Offlinemotheradvice
A MOTHER
Registered: 06/25/04
Posts: 21
Last seen: 12 years, 8 months
Re: MY DAUGHTER AMBER, &amp; NICK...LIFE OR DEATH [Re: Dreamer987]
    #2826818 - 06/25/04 05:54 AM (13 years, 6 days ago)

Sneaking around in other peoples private conversations,

As for private conversations I must say PRIVATE was NOT betrayed...If your reading all of my post then YOU should know that Nick was using MY laptop and did not close while giving ME back MY laptop.so therefor Nick failed to close out HIS PERSONAL MATERIAL. Nick had stated to me that he would of done the same thing so if I am in the wrong then MY apologies for any wrong doing or better yet Nick would have told me so.

turning around and posting this on an internet message board.

Like I said before...IF IT WAS PROBLEM THEN NICK WOULD OF TOLD ME WHEN I ASKED HIM...IF HE WOULD OF SAID NO THEN I WOULD NEVER THINK TWICE ABOUTING POSTING ANYTHING. I LIKE TO ADD THAT NICK MADE THIS PERSONAL WITH YOU ( HIS FRIENDS ) BY POSTING HIS PROBLEMS AND HIS THOUGHTS.

Your daughter sounds like a she needs to quit playing with peoples emotions like that.

Your right. I have said this before...Do you have kids?

Obviously nobody was serious about killing anyone. It was a private conversation that you felt the need to get into.
This is why I have reached out to this forum to seek the help that my daughter and Nick may/will need.
NO I had every right..MY PC..MY HOME...MY RULES...MY DAUGHTER!!!!!

How can you be shocked that someone (jokingly) talked about killing
your daughter.

I 'm not shocked I trust my daughters decisions. You once was 17 then can you say that your parents were open minded to even think that you can have a x/boyfriend, man,friend and just maybe my grandchilds father living as a FAMILY and trying to give this human being a second chance in life. I'm not saying I agree with both Amber & Nick's playing house at such a young age. Can you remember those days?

Do you have kids? I love my daughter and I know when I am crossing the line.

"oh you can come live with me, and we can get married and have kids, but oh wait i think i like my ex better, so lets just be friends, and you can live here and watch me and my boyfriend together"


NICK HAS A CHOICE TO STAY OR GO HOME..FREE RIDE...LIKE I SAID A HUMAN BEING ONLY DOES WHAT YOU ALLOW THEM TO DO. NICK CAN LEAVE...MY DICISION RIGHT NOW IS GOING TO BE "YES NICK STAYS OR NO NICK GOES HOME" WHAT I AM SEEKING IS SOMEONE TO PLEASE TELL ME WHAT THEY WOULD DO IN THIS SITUATION. IS IT BEST FOR NICK TO GO HOME OR SHOULD HE STAY AND BE JUST FRIENDS...IS THIS POSSIBLE? YOU KNOW NICK YOU TELL ME. I HONOR MY DAUGHTER FOR ALL THAT SHE IS. I LOVE HER FOR WHO AND WHAT SHE HAS BECOME. I AM ONLY TRYING TO REACH OUT FOR THE GUIDANCE IN MY WRONG CHOICES FOR ALLOWING MY DAUGHTER TO CONTINUE A RELATIONSHIP THAT SEEMS TO BE OVER A 17 YEAR OLD GIRLS HEAD.

Sorry Miss Jackson, but tell your daughter to keep her draws on untill shes old enouph to get out of your house.

DO YOU HAVE KIDS? You know I have had alot of experience with " so called life " I HAVE SEEN THINGS AND I KNOW WHAT IT IN THE REAL WORLD, I ALLOW MY DAUGHTER TO BE AN INDIVUAL. SHE IS WHO SHE IS. IF I WAS WARDEN TO MY CHILDREN, DO YOU REALLY THINK WHEN THEY GROW UP ARE THEY GOING TO BE A RESPONSIBLE? CARING? RESPECTING LIFE AND NOT AN ABUSING OR SAYING HATEFUL WORDS AS IN TAKING A LIFE. MAY OR MAY NOT..HELL HOW IN THE HELL WOULD I KNOW. I'M NOT BEING A WARDEN. MY GIRLS COME TO ME WHEN THEY WANT/NEED/SHARE OR CONFIDENCE IN THEIR DICISIONS. SO NO I DO GIVE MY DAUGHTER RESPECT SO I WILL RECIEVE THE RESPECT IN RETURN. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT TODAYS CHILDREN WILL BE RULEING THIS UNIVERSE/FUTURE.

oh and again thank you for the drama

I KNOW IT IS MY FAULT FOR ALLOWING MY 17 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER HAVE HER WAY...TO TRUST IN HER...I TAUGHT MY DAUGHTER TO DEFEND HERSELF SPEAK OUT WHEN YOU FEEL YOU ARE INTITLED AND DO NOT ALLOW ANYONE TO CONTROL YOU...IS THIS WRONG PARENTING? AS FOR THE DRAMA...I WOULD DO ANYTHING TO SEE MY DAUGHTER INVOLVED IN THIS WORLD...DRAMA IS WHERE ALL HOMES ARE.


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Invisiblewandrnshaman
old hand
Registered: 09/21/03
Posts: 1,196
Loc: Pinellas Co, FL
Re: MY DAUGHTER AMBER, &amp; NICK...LIFE OR DEATH [Re: motheradvice]
    #2826823 - 06/25/04 06:05 AM (13 years, 6 days ago)

Responsibility comes by lessons.
:smile:


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Invisibletak
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Re: MY DAUGHTER AMBER, &amp; NICK...LIFE OR DEATH [Re: motheradvice]
    #2826826 - 06/25/04 06:14 AM (13 years, 6 days ago)

My god, the unthinkable has moved to the shroomery.

I don't know all of the details, and I wish you much luck in figuring out a solution to this dilema.

The only thing I can really tell you is that I have known Nick for some time, and he has been talking to me about your daughter for quite some time. He is genuine, and sincere with his feelings. I remember one day we were having a long discussion about his moving to MD, and giving up all he had in AZ. People told him not to go, etc, but he was willing to give it all up for this girl. He was in love. I hope you understand this.

If it were my daughter, I would protect her at any cost. It is a dog eat dog world out there, and you protect numero uno, and ones family first at any cost. I just know as a fellow man, and a fellow human being, having been in pretty simular situation, that when you devote yourself to a woman, girl, whatever. You give your whole heart to that person, you devote your life to serving them... It hurts when they want to get together with another man. Sexual or not.

I dont really believe in internet dating. People are alot diffrent in real life. You know the person, but you dont KNOW the person. I think when it comes time to move in with them, you take it slow, and be thier friend, because at first, it will be rocky. Different people come from diffrent backgrounds, and have huge diffrences in lifestyles. A big jump like this can be a high stress load on anyone, and I think that they should be friends for a while. I know many people who've done this same thing, and been in the same boat. You want to revert to how things used to be, because everything right now is happening so fast.

My suggestion to you is let them work it out. It takes time for the dirty water to settle at the bottom ya know. I would encourage them to be friends instead of lovers though. Learn what eachother loves doing for fun, outside of the bedroom.

As for them, I strongly suggest that you two take it easy, and learn to live with eachother. Know eachother, become friends all over again, and fall in love all over again. Calbha, if you love her, dont let anyone else stop that. Dont go beating people up, but if you love her, that should never change, no matter who she is with. Be the one there for her with open arms when she needs it. If you work through this, you will be even closer. You cant fuck with love.

I would make sure she went to college though. Too many girls are falling in love, and staying with thier older boyfriends and not going to college for them. Dont let this happen, think about her future too. As for the age diffrence. 17, 22, its all the same. I know 17 year olds who act 30, and 40 year olds who act 17. If these two are connecting on the same level, then thats all that matters. She is an adult now.

You sound like a very understanding mother, that is awsome. I wish you all the best.


--------------------
The DJ's took pills to stay awake and play for seven days.


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OfflineUncleMike
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Re: MY DAUGHTER AMBER, &amp; NICK...LIFE OR DEATH [Re: motheradvice]
    #2827816 - 06/25/04 01:33 PM (13 years, 6 days ago)

I think it's time that Nick moved on unless you are gonna be his drug counslor. Amber need to grow up before she has anymore relationships. If someone said that they were gonna haem my daughter I'd call the police and have his ass removed from my home not discuss it on a web board.


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OfflineCaRnAgECaNdYS
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Re: MY DAUGHTER AMBER, &amp; NICK...LIFE OR DEATH [Re: motheradvice]
    #2831902 - 06/26/04 11:57 PM (13 years, 5 days ago)

OMG..crazy drama up in here. I am a mother myself so maybe I can help a little. I'll just send you a PM.


--------------------

The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.


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Invisiblelooner2
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Re: MY DAUGHTER AMBER, &amp; NICK...LIFE OR DEATH [Re: CaRnAgECaNdY]
    #2831929 - 06/27/04 12:13 AM (13 years, 5 days ago)

This is awesome, don't stop.


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Offlinesoylent_green
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Re: MY DAUGHTER AMBER, &amp;amp; NICK...LIFE OR DEATH [Re: CaRnAgECaNdY]
    #2831956 - 06/27/04 12:24 AM (13 years, 5 days ago)

WOAH NO NEED TO TURN ON THE TV!!! hah
i read the whole thing, i cant see nick being seriouse about hurting amber.
but i think you should send him back home. as for amber...she has a lot of growing up to do.
i really do hope she is as open with you as you think she is. talking is key to any relationship. mabey have a good talk about safe sex is something to think about. you get the womens net work? you could watch sunday night sex with sue! she's awsome for information.

i really hope you can talk some relationship sence into her befor she takes off for collage. or things may get even messyer.

live, learn and good luck.

(p.s thanks for spicing up the shroomery )
:smile:


--------------------
What fun is it in Nirvana while other beings are suffering?


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OfflineStonedShroom
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Re: MY DAUGHTER AMBER, & NICK...LIFE OR DEATH [Re: motheradvice]
    #2832412 - 06/27/04 04:32 AM (13 years, 4 days ago)

oh wow.

this is crazy...

uhm, I say that if Timmy makes her happy, then your daughter should be with him.

As far as nick... I would say kick him out, it must be VERY hard for your daughter to have an ex living in her own house. If nick can't control himself in AZ then that's his own problem.

you daughter is only 17 and I'm sure Timmy will be left in the dust in a few months too.

BTW, you should also invest in getting your daughter on the pill. Not only will help with this situation, but it also helps regulate hormones so she's not so emotional. It's not anything bad, really... I take the pill and I'm a lesbian, it really helps keep everything balanced and emotions are not so extreme and i'm not moody.

anyway, good luck with all this.


--------------------
We are not human beings going through a temporary spiritual experience.

We are spiritual beings going through a temporary human experience.



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Invisibleshriek
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Re: MY DAUGHTER AMBER, & NICK...LIFE OR DEATH [Re: motheradvice]
    #2832611 - 06/27/04 08:35 AM (13 years, 4 days ago)

my opinion is simple, i seriously doubt nick was serious on that chat log. Guys talk to guys like guys talk, and on irc you can add 95% more bullshit to that.

i also think nick has been a fool, but not the only fool, i think guys fall faster and harder in love. BUT your daughter played nick, no doubt and now you are making drama on a message board. this is jerry springer material and i feel sorry for nick.

so to conclude;

its obvious that nick is hurt and i dont see why you as a mother are trying to hang him out , unless you have some evidence on him being a violant person you have nothing and should watch what you are accusing him for, yes sure you want to protect your daughter, but that is NO EXCUSE to hang out a shroomerite as a potensial murder to your daughter here.

I dont see why you as a mother are getting so involved, but like i said, your daughter has played with his emotions, his mistake has only been to be carried away and gotten too emotional involved too fast. your daughter is 17 so she is excused, but she must learn one day that playing with others emotions can have consequenses. sometimes very dangerous ones.

my advice to nick would be to stay away, there are plenty of good girls out there and you are very young still :smile: shine on



Edited by shriek (06/27/04 10:16 AM)


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Offlinedaba
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Re: MY DAUGHTER AMBER, &amp; NICK...LIFE OR DEATH [Re: Kremlin]
    #2832624 - 06/27/04 08:40 AM (13 years, 4 days ago)

Quote:

Kremlin said:
Your daughter is 17 years old.





And Calbha is 22. Hopefully, a difference exists in the contrasting cognition and ultimately maturity level.

Quote:

honestly now,

what did you expect to come of this situation?





--------------------
Fold for The Shroomery!


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OfflineCeeEssGee
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Re: MY DAUGHTER AMBER, & NICK...LIFE OR DEATH [Re: motheradvice]
    #2835586 - 06/28/04 07:08 AM (13 years, 3 days ago)

"Nick" was wrong to allow emotions overcome logic, and to be with a 17 year old. Regardless, those are very strong, genuine emotions, and we can all make mistakes.

He was wrong to say those retarded things on chat, as well, but they weren't threats uttered to your daughter, which is a lot better than I initially thought. If that was the case, I'd call the cops myself.

Your daughter is a child, and very fallible, which you know. This does not mean she cannot be held responsible, but, it does mean that you and "Nick" are mainly responsible.

You are her parent, and you let this happen. Why didn't you send her to boarding school, or ground her for a year, etc, and not let her have a 22 year old in the house? Were you afraid of her not liking you? You're the one who needs to grow up, and take responsibility.

In conclusion, all of you are dumbasses. This is not meant as a flame, this is advice. Your daughter, and Nick, unfortunately, have to be separated. Everything else, you can figure out on your own. Get an abortion, or put the child up for adoption, if you cannot do this.


--------------------
Why, sirrah, why may a caudled fillhorse be deemed the brother to a hiren candle in the night? Withal, because a candle may be greased, yet a fillhorse be without a fat argier!


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Offlinewrestler_az
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Re: MY DAUGHTER AMBER, & NICK...LIFE OR DEATH [Re: motheradvice]
    #2835890 - 06/28/04 10:56 AM (13 years, 3 days ago)

wow...ive known calbha for a short while, but in the time spent with him i felt very close to the guy...he is a good man....


oh ya, your daughter sounds like a bitch...shes gonna wish she had calbha back once he leaves, and since hes so in love with her he will come back and probably go through the same shit all over again...he just needs to get his ass back here now, hes got a bunch of good friends here...doesnt sound like hes got much of anything there


--------------------
how's your WOW?





  Edited by yageman (04/20/06 4:20 PM) 


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