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Registered: 02/20/04
Posts: 117
Loc: UK.
Last seen: 13 years, 2 months
death of a loved one
    #2640952 - 05/05/04 11:30 AM (14 years, 1 month ago)

just a week ago i lost my brother (25). he was run over and didnt make it due to the severe head injuries. i am finding it so hard to get on with my life. i feel like i am never going to get over this. i was just wondering if anyone had ever been through the same thing.. and how they coped with it?? i really need some support/advice
:heart: :heart:

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Quiet dreamer

Registered: 02/23/04
Posts: 746
Re: death of a loved one [Re: KAR0LiNAXXXX]
    #2640976 - 05/05/04 11:45 AM (14 years, 1 month ago)

Im realy sorry for you :crying: , i realy know how would i fight this through ...

I think it is the most worst that could happen to anyone , i can't realy imagine how would i feel if my girlfriend would die  :frown:

I know it is realy hard for you , but try to focus more on positive sides of your life ... You still probably have your family and friends , try to be somehow satisfied that you still have them ...

Sorry if this isn't any help for you , i hope someone can help you more ...

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Registered: 02/20/04
Posts: 117
Loc: UK.
Last seen: 13 years, 2 months
Re: death of a loved one [Re: baltazar]
    #2640997 - 05/05/04 11:50 AM (14 years, 1 month ago)

thnx balt..  :heart:
its just that i miss him so much.i cant describe how much the pain kills. :frown:
but then i think.. he would never want me moping around !!
what a way to find out how precious life is .....

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Wild Woman
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Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,391
Loc: In the jungle
Re: death of a loved one [Re: KAR0LiNAXXXX]
    #2641077 - 05/05/04 12:25 PM (14 years, 1 month ago)

No words can be adequate, I know...but I wanted you to know that I read and I'm keeping you and my family in my deepest thoughts.  :heart:

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Cya later, friends.
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Registered: 12/08/02
Posts: 9,234
Loc: ny Flag
Re: death of a loved one [Re: MOTH]
    #2654651 - 05/08/04 09:47 PM (14 years, 1 month ago)

i'm sorry, i had someone close to me die on me almost a year ago now.

for months everyone told me it would get better with time, blah blah blah blah blah.

it got alot worse before it got better, but starting about 2 months ago i've stopped thinking about it so much and it doesn't tear me up inside as it used to.

so i guess just whenever you really feel sad, get used to doing something about it (crying, drinking coffee and cleaning your house, my personal favorite: going for long raves in my head). over time it really will get better, until then find something to do while coping.

You can check the last post in my journal for contact info.

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I missed theark.

Registered: 10/10/02
Posts: 1,988
Loc: CA
Re: death of a loved one [Re: KAR0LiNAXXXX]
    #2654904 - 05/08/04 11:16 PM (14 years, 1 month ago)

:frown:  I am so sorry for your loss.

I have lost a lot of family members in my life, and I know what you're going through.  Just last year, I lost my cousin.  He was only 22, and one morning, he just never woke up.  Death creeps up on us.  Unfortunately, we can never really prepare for it because it is out of our control.

My best advice to you is to just realize that your brother is gone from the Earth, but not gone from your heart and mind, and the hearts and minds of your family and friends.  Everyone will remember him, and little pieces of him will live on in memories. 

The Law of Conservation of Energy states that energy is neither created nor destroyed.  Life is a form of energy.  Though your brother "died," his energy is still living on in the world.  His energy, his essence, is still being circulated around.  He is in the air you breathe and the flowers you smell and everything you see.  He will never really be gone.

Your brother would want you to be happy.  And if there really is an "afterlife," I'm sure he's watching over you now and just wishing he could let you know that everything will be alright.

Good luck with this.

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life in E minor
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Registered: 06/07/01
Posts: 1,860
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Last seen: 5 months, 5 days
Re: death of a loved one [Re: KAR0LiNAXXXX]
    #2655515 - 05/09/04 02:15 AM (14 years, 1 month ago)

That is truly a terrible experience, but you can be thankful for some positives to come out of this.

1) You will be a stronger person after going through this.  Yes, remember that your brother wouldnt want you moping around, hed want you to continue to be the great person that you probably are :smile:

2) You have been given a gift in disguise, you can appreciate life after seeing someone you loved so much lose theirs.  It can help you to live a very fulfilling life if you can weild it in your favor.  You can turn a very positive outlook by living each day like you may not have that many more, and making sure you enjoy what time you have.

Keep your head up, live on, he would want you to :smile:


"Human suffering has been caused because all too many of us cannot grasp that words are only tools for our use, and that the mere presence of a word in the dictionary does not mean it necessarily refers to something definitive in the real world"
--Richard Dawkins, "The Selfish Gene"

"It is the mind which creates the world about us, and even though we stand side by side in the same meadow, my eyes will never see what is beheld by yours."
-George Gissing

"Without a firm idea of himself and the purpose of his life, man cannot live, and would sooner destroy himself than remain on earth, even if he was surrounded by bread."
--Fyodor Dostoevsky

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Registered: 09/25/03
Posts: 10,218
Loc: Metropolis City, USA
Re: death of a loved one [Re: KAR0LiNAXXXX]
    #2655704 - 05/09/04 04:10 AM (14 years, 1 month ago)

karolina...my heart goes out to you and your family and all of your brother's friends.  i know how this feels because on christmas eve this year i lost one of my best friends.  he was only 18 years old.  he died in his sleep a few hours after he went home because he didn't feel good.  it wasn't drugs or anything, in fact i don't know what actually happened.

it was the hardest news that ever hit me and i was "out of it" for weeks, relying on booze and cigarettes to numb myself.  he was the only thing i ever thought about and it made me so sad that i wasn't going to get to see him again.  its going to be a long road karolina, i'm not going to lie to you.  its been almost 4.5 months since my friend's passing and i still think about him all the time but i'm less and less sad as the time passes because i can remember all of the good times and hold those in my heart.  i still wish i could have a talk with him or see him smile again but one thing his death did was that it opened up my eyes to myself and the people around me.  i know how prescious life is and now my friends and family are closer than ever...it'll take a while to get over the initial grief but you will bounce back sooner or later.

never forget your brother and the good times you had...this is what keeps him alive :heart:.  its good to cry also.  try not to be alone...it helps to be with people who loved your brother as much as you.  take care


ca'rouse (k-rouz)
To engage in boisterous, drunken merrymaking.

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Registered: 02/20/04
Posts: 117
Loc: UK.
Last seen: 13 years, 2 months
Re: death of a loved one [Re: TODAY]
    #2696471 - 05/18/04 04:16 PM (14 years, 1 month ago)

hey guys thank u SOOO much for all the advice. i havnt been able to post recently as i have temporaly moved to london after all this has happened, to be with my mum, and there is no computer there:|
im still so incredibly sad.. but i think that i am now learning how to remember the memories of my brother without getting too upset. i still feel totaly lost...i know this will take such a long time.. but i know i will get through this... i gota be strong for my bro :smile:
neway guys thank u once again for the feedback... it has helped me:)
i am also so sorry for all of u that have lost someone close to u... i send u all my love ... !!
take care everone :wink:  xxxxxxx

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Anonymous #1

Re: death of a loved one [Re: KAR0LiNAXXXX]
    #2697704 - 05/18/04 06:57 PM (14 years, 1 month ago)

not to be the insensitive asshole out of the whole thread....but..

this is always good news to me  :heart: due to my 'beliefs', your brother came here just like you to grow, and apparently, his time is up, and he has gone home with god again.  He is not 'gone', and infact i can tell u right now he is closer to you than he ever was in your life.  He wants you to stay strong and keep your head up and know that he has not left you at all.  there is no death.  he simply left his body.  you will too before you even know it and you will be reunited once again.  you got people to see and places to go yet, when yo uare finished, you will see him again, and many others you dont remember knowing you ever knew right now, it will be awesome.  Imagine your brother feeling no pain, no fear, and nothing but unconditional love.  the feeling of total acceptance and contentment always.  anytime you want to tell him something, just do it, you dont even need to speak, just think it like when praying, he will always hear you, and never miss a word.  and if you quiet your mind enough you will even hear him talking to you.(you wont hear voices, they will come in the form of your own thoughts, and many times in feelings as well)

There is no "i know he 'would' want this or that",  there is "HE WANTS this and that".  To say it the other way is implying that he may not exsist at all, or there is no way to know what he wants because he is somehow out of reach.  You know in your heart what he wants because that is how he is is talking to you.  Many of us would rather dwell in sorrow for what we believe is a "loss", but in all seriousness, that is selfish.  it is.  to dwell on it and make it out to be a loss is only thinking of yourself, you have lost nothing.  Society has everything so misconstrued...like you if you dont feel bad and cry you must not have loved the person, which is total bullshit.  in all seriousness, you should be jumping in joy, but you dont know the truth, obviously, so this is hard and feels 'wrong' or disrespectful.  our deceased loved ones are not going to be offended if we dont cry and be sad over them leaving their bodies, they want us to be happy for them and to finish our purpose as they have.

please, dont mourn, just be happy, "death" is graduation of life, there is seriously nothing to be sad over because he truly has NOT left you at all. he loves you and is showering you with his love, but you must want to feel it, and not the feeling of loss, which is an illusion. 

You can see him again, just not in body. Ask him sometime to come talk to u atleast once in a dream, and dont doubt he will do it, and he will come.  maybe he already came through to you in a dream, i dont know, but if you or any other family member has a dream of him, that is him telling you 'im still here, and im doing well, dont worry'

:heart: love and light (sorry for rambling what may seem to be nonsense or if i repeated myself)

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Pot Inspector

Registered: 04/23/04
Posts: 550
Last seen: 13 years, 9 months
Re: death of a loved one [Re: ]
    #2698151 - 05/18/04 08:33 PM (14 years, 1 month ago)

I hope you plan on suing the dog crap out of whoever ran him over. And sorry about your loss, he was to young to die.. Best wishes............

"Prohibition...goes beyond the bounds of reason in that it attempts to control a man's appetite by legislation and makes a crime out of things that are not crimes. A prohibition law strikes a blow at the very principles upon which our government was founded." Abraham Lincoln December, 1840

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Registered: 01/21/02
Posts: 4,779
Last seen: 13 years, 8 months
Re: death of a loved one [Re: KAR0LiNAXXXX]
    #2699709 - 05/19/04 03:41 AM (14 years, 1 month ago)

I am sorry to hear about your brother - my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Peace, and Love.




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