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what do you do
    #3451981 -

when the truth hurts?

Let me start off by giving some background info.

My friend, let's call her Mary, from high school was spoiled. They had a lady come in twice a week to clean, so she was never forced to clean. and she's a MAJOR pack rat. she used to be SO SNOBBY and make fun of me because she'd call to come over and i'd say 'i'll be there in a hour or so, i need to wait till after dinner so i can do the dishes real quick before i leave' and she'd say 'my mom would NEVER make me clean, we pay a MAID for that'

of course now that mommy doesn't pay for a maid to come to her rat-hole her house is fucking filthy. and it's impossible to clean because there's SO MUCH CLUTTER.

on to the real issue. As I stated, her and her husband totally trash out their house and it stinks really bad. and instead of cleaning they have like 812 glade plugins. so it's like really, really strong airfreshner with a really, really rotten undertone. i get physically ill going into their bathroom. I'm not sure if they even own a toilet brush.

anyway, I made the mistake once of cleaning their pig-pen and they gave me $75 for doing it. so cool, i did that a few times.

now they don't have the money to pay me, so some one with non-lazy reasoning would be like 'well, i can't pay someone $75 every two weeks to clean my filthy house so guess i'll just have to clean it myself.' NOT HER.

she BEEGGGSS me to come visit her (she lives 45 minutes away) then when i get there she wants me to cook something, which i really do not mind cooking for them because I love to cook. but after i'm done cooking she says "ok, since you made a mess in the kitchen you get to clean it" HELLO it was DIRTY before I even GOT THERE. I had to clean it before i even started cooking!!

some other things she said to try to get me to clean

"Since we're paying extra on the electric bill for you to be here you need to clean" (I'm there for like half a day, sometimes a full 24 hours at the most but they're not spending any extra on the electric by me being there)

"since you're sleeping on the couch you need to clean the entire living room. it's rude to sleep at someone's house and leave the room you sleep in messy" uhhhmmm... i don't think me sleeping on the couch has ANYTHING to do with the piles of week-old dirty dishes on the end tables

"since we paid for the groceries you need to clean our house" WTF? first of all, she uses her MOM'S credit card to buy groceries. second of all I cooked at least one fucking gourmet spread with those groceries her MOM bought. and third of all, I'm a GUEST. you don't make GUESTS pay out a food bill. Under normal circumstances I wouldn't mind *helping* clean up just the *kitchen* after a meal (since that's polite thing for a guest to do) but she DEMANDED I clean the ENTIRE HOUSE BY MYSELF. WTF? I'll go to fucking taco bell instead of eat her precious groceries.

anyway, I've just been not coming for the past few weeks. and thus far I've really had other things to do, like work, visit family from out of state, thanksgiving, then this weekend helping my mom decorate for christmas, but now what to i say when she calls wanting me to come up?

i mean sometimes i'd feel bad saying 'i don't want to visit you because your house is filthy and smells rotten and you always somehow manage to gult-trip me in to cleaning' but... this is how the convo went for this weekend when she called

her: 'come see me this weekend, you haven't visited us in a while'

me: 'yeah, I'm busy'

her: 'but mom bought us a new bedroom suite and we need someone to help clean out our bedroom'

me: "I'm helping my mom decorate for christmas, sorry'

her: 'I need help decorating too!'

then I wouldn't feel so bad telling her how nasty her house is.

I need to tell her but i don't wanna hurt her feelings


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We are not human beings going through a temporary spiritual experience.

We are spiritual beings going through a temporary human experience.


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Re: what do you do [Re: StonedShroom]
    #3452015 -

tell her if she wants her house clean your gonna start charging a fee. That is just ridiculous.


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1. "After an hour I wasn't feeling anything so I decided to take another..."
2. "We were feeling pretty good so we decided to smoke a few bowls..."
3. "I had to be real quiet because my parents were asleep upstairs..."

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Re: what do you do [Re: Divided_Sky]
    #3452625 -

tell herto go to hell....damn, i quess i do have a mean streak in me....huh?


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Re: what do you do [Re: StonedShroom]
    #3452685 -

I hate spoiled bitches. There are so many of them. Their parents never made them do a fucking thing in their lives, and even when they are "out on their own" their parents still pay a lot of their bills for them. Chicks like that are fucking worthless. They don't know how to do ANYTHING.

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Re: what do you do [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #3452775 -

If I were you I would just ignore them for a long while, until it is so unbearable for them to live in squalor, that they realize they have to clean up their own shit. Thats ridiculous though they invite you to their place and then expect you to clean up, they clearly dont know how to treat guests.

Edited by relativexistance (12/06/04 12:11 AM)

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Re: what do you do [Re: relativexistance]
    #3453074 -

its a no brainer. if you want out of this shit you are going to have to tell her the truth wether she likes it or not, no need to feel guilty because they don't know how to do their own shit. tell her to go to do a course on household cooking and cleaning.
or ask them to come over to your house for once...


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suicide a permanent solution to a temporary problem

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Re: what do you do [Re: StonedShroom]
    #3453264 -

:eek: what a bitch!

she's using you, although she might think it's normal or something. this doesn't sound like a good friend at all. I would tell het the truth next time you speak to her and next time you're at their place just refuse to clean everything and tell why.
I can understand that you don't want to hurt her feelings, but now it sounds like your feelings are hurt everytime she's using you. good luck with dealing with this man :sun:

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Re: what do you do [Re: stefan]
    #3453360 -

In this case, I think it is ok to be harsh and even a little bit mean. There's one thing I can't stand, and it's people who have never worked two minutes in their entire life and expect other people just to do things for them. You need to tell her the truth, that she's a fucking spoiled bitch and needs to grow up and start taking care of herself. She's not treating you like a friend and it's time you start returning the favor. I know this is tough, but sometimes you gotta burn some bridges and build newer and sronger ones.

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Re: what do you do [Re: Hendostan]
    #3453721 -

when the truth hurts?
hurt the truths? :P


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Disclaimer!?

Edited by Gomp (12/06/04 08:20 AM)

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Re: what do you do [Re: Hendostan]
    #3454077 -

Quote:
Hendostan said:
In this case, I think it is ok to be harsh and even a little bit mean. There's one thing I can't stand, and it's people who have never worked two minutes in their entire life and expect other people just to do things for them. You need to tell her the truth, that she's a fucking spoiled bitch and needs to grow up and start taking care of herself. She's not treating you like a friend and it's time you start returning the favor. I know this is tough, but sometimes you gotta burn some bridges and build newer and sronger ones.



True, true. And, as Stefan said, they're just using you. If they get pissed after you tell them what's what, well that's too bad for them. You don't need "friends" like that anyway...

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Re: what do you do [Re: Gomp]
    #3454083 -

Tell her she's going to have to least get on her knee's and swallow if you are going to clean for her. And tell her to clean her pussy before you come over because you may want to take a crack at that too.


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Aim for the moon, if you miss at least your amounst the star's....

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Re: what do you do [Re: StonedShroom]
    #3454156 -

Tell her to fuck off. And don't see them again.

Let them live in their own shit.

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Re: what do you do [Re: StonedShroom]
    #3454198 -

Doesn't sound like a very good friend to me

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Re: what do you do [Re: StonedShroom]
    #3454223 -

phone her up, and ask her to do the same things for you and ask her how she'd feel about doing that?

"How's about for a change, YOU come over to MY house, and cook supper for ME, then you can clean MY kitchen , and MY living room, bedroom, bathroom or whatever else, etc etc."

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Re: what do you do [Re: Tasty_Smurf_House]
    #3455666 -

wow thats rediculous. And you are too, if you clean their entire fucking house because you slept there one night.

Id live alone on a desert island before having friends like yours.
And by the way, do exactly what Tasty Smurf just said, but without asking how she feels about it. Just act like you're dead serious.

Do you think she consider you a friend or a maid? Id go with the maid.

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Re: what do you do [Re: StonedShroom]
    #3455927 -

she doesn't sound like a friend to me...sounds like she's using you.


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ca'rouse (k-rouz)
intr.v.
To engage in boisterous, drunken merrymaking.

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Re: what do you do [Re: StonedShroom]
    #3460934 -

Personally I would cut off any contact with them.I hate to say it,but after you leave there probably laughing at how easy you are to manipulate.
There taking advantage of your kindness.There comes a time in every-ones life, when they have to tell someone to "go fuck yourself" its not easy but it sure beats being used.
You have to stand up for yourself,because know one else is going to do it for you.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do.


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I can't spell and I have poor grammar.The crap I just posted is proof enough.

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Re: what do you do [Re: StonedShroom]
    #3461100 -

Quite honestly, this whole message is rediculous.

1. She is a spoiled peice of shit, who doesn't deserve the company or friendship of anyone.

2. You are a sucker who must deeply desire this girl's friendship for some twisted reason. You fail to realize how abusive she is, and offer kindness for her to take advantage of... you even worry about hurting her feelings after everything.

You need to tell her you're sick of her shit, to shove it all up her ass.. and to kiss yours.

My two cents.
-Jared

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Re: what do you do [Re: ]
    #3461295 -

Give her some of the back of your hand. People didn't evolve to be useless, and she sounds like she seriously needs some form of harsh stimulus to get into a healthier way of living. Though already a powerful tool for shaping perceptions and stimulating growth, the full-windup atomic backhand slap can be improved in its effectiveness by opening a larger dialogue following this opening. So, gently illustrate the contradictions in her position by putting her in your shoes; when she's tearing up, with the image of your hand starting to swell, and looking at you in shock, very decisively shout, "Make me some dinner, bitch!" Continue in this manner.
To summarize:
her: "long time no see, lets get to that cooking and cleaning for nothing for me now"
you: (SLAP!)
her: (startled puzzlement)
you: "Get your ass in the kitchen! I ain't eating no shit!" (SLAP!)
her: (starts to sob)
you: (SLAP!) "and clean that nasty ass toilet!"

...yeah... pretty baked right now. But I'm serious though..


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"If God wanted people to die with dignity, He wouldn't have created modern medical technology capable of artificially prolonging life." - The Onion

"What is best in life? To crush your enemies, drive them before you, and laugh at the weeping of their women."
- Conan the Barbarian

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Re: what do you do [Re: Gus]
    #3461452 -

I would like to thank everyone for the real advise... but WTF is up with the bullshit replies like slapping people?

are mods here anymore?

anyway I've just basically avoided her.


--------------------
We are not human beings going through a temporary spiritual experience.

We are spiritual beings going through a temporary human experience.


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