Auto-SummaryEllamush recounts a transformative experience at a Tame Impala concert, detailing the profound impact of the performance, the vibrant crowd, and the surreal visuals that left them in awe. They reflect on the emotional highs and the deep connection they felt with the music and the artist, Kevin Parker, whom they described as a genius. The night also prompted introspection about mental health, the importance of hope, and the disparity in access to such experiences. They share personal reflections on past struggles, growth, and healing, emphasizing the value of perseverance and self-forgiveness. The trip report captures a mix of euphoria, vulnerability, and appreciation for life's beauty.
Last nite I took 0.7g and went to Tame impala on my own.
It was spectacular. One of the best shows I have ever been to. I was in general admit and I was standing about 20m away from the band the whole time. Seeing an absolute genius, there's no other way to describe Kevin Parker, live was crazy. And on the mushrooms I realised how much we idolise musicians and artists, he honestly looked like god. The band was amazing too. I wish I understood music better to fully appreciate the skills they have but all I know is that they are very talented and it sounded amazing.
The lights, god I have never seen anything like it. The whole light structure moved so that different parts lit up and the patterns I have never seen before because it was moving. I don't know if other shows do something like that. I had heard that TI does the best laser show in the world. Certainly for me it was.
The crowd was fucking amazing. I'm not surprised you know, a bunch of stoners mixed in with some trippers mixed in with some cool young people including kids and parents. Very friendly. Happy. Smiling, welcoming. I wore a coloured hair braid for the first time and my trippy outfit and as usual I sorta stood out but some people complimented me and that was nice. The vibe was so much similar to the psytrance festivals I imagine a lot of people go to them.
Ninajirachi the opening act was cool. It was amazing seeing such a quality opener and then thinking well fuck, the main guys aren't even here yet and I'm already having a blast.
I did think, it's so important to remember when you feel depressed and or want to kill yourself to remember that if you just hang on you can feel THIS GOOD again. You're not stuck in one mental state. That was the most profound thought I had. And I think that there's something about keeping hope alive in mental health and helping people remember it will get better
I have never felt more keenly the feeling that I have either paid already, in a past life or in my life earlier, for the privilege of having such a good experience. Otherwise I will need to pay for my happiness down the track. It's terrible to think that I can experience this kind of spectacular show and this kind of euphoria while others can't. I'm thinking about people who don't have the money, or the ability, or they don't have the spare time to learn about tripping and how to mentally prepare for it. I already believed in reincarnation and karma but after that I'm sure it it.
Some cool OEVs and CEVs too. Interestingly peoples faces didn't weird me out as much as they usually do. That's usually the thing that fucks with me the most.
Some guy afterwards came up to me and said he liked my hair and that he saw me on the mosh and I "killed it". Haha so nice. I did dance like a fucker haha. At one point there was a 5meter diameter space for me to dance and Kevin was doing his psytrance music (I swear it was psytrance anyway) and it felt like I was at a festival with all the space in the world. Was so cool. He moved onto a stage at the back so people didn't know where to stand so I just had all this space
Such a good venue too. Had a walkway around the perimeter so if you stood on the edge no one was behind you. Heaps of dance space.
The crowd reminded me of my old school friend I asked out earlier this year that I didn't get a reply from. I will ask him out if I see him again (I asked him out on a temporary Facebook account because I don't have socials and I missed my chance when I spoke with him last. He didn't reply before I got freaked out by being on socials again a week later and deleted my account). On that thought, my ex is my soul mate so maybe I should just marry him though. I don't know. But yeah absolutely my ex is my soul mate. Dysfunctional soul mate.
On the walk home I saw the glistening of the concrete (it hadn't rained it was just the sparkly debris) and it looked so cool I went into a trance walking along it. I also saw these funny flashing lights where the thing was malfunctioning and it looked like the space was moving. I think in a festival or a show you don't see the little tricks of lights as much coz you're too distracted but it's fun to look at the lights. Then I walked around Melbourne city to get to my kebab shop and the lights on the Yarra River looked unbelievable. The reflections. I live in the best city in the world. Unfortunately when I come into it these days I get some PTSD anxiety so I don't feel as safe as I used to. It sucks that 2 years and like 2 nights of negative experience with one person while I was on drugs has caused me to always look at the cityline with apprehension. But I was looking at the river for a while in w trance and was thinking "this anxiety and this PTSD is not my fault. None of this shit should have happened to anyone." I know that I think that I messed up so badly and hurt people in that space but I don't think that's the case. I didn't always speak up and tell my friends at the time how I was feeling which was wrong, but at the time that's what I thought was the nice thing to do. When I blew up on them and broke things off it wasn't just my choice, I was going through PTSD and I didn't know it. At that point my whole mind was consumed with the bad things that had happened and I needed to run away. So I forgive myself for doing what I did. And I also told myself last night "I have done the hardest thing. I am out of that space and safe now. Not every group acts that way". Unfortunately it did a lot of damage the past year to other friendships that mattered. Most have recovered but one hasn't, although that one I don't really wish to continue anyway because she is in the non monogamous space and it's hard to be around her because of that and our history. On the plus, and this is a BIG plus and makes it worth going through, I have learnt about my issues with communication assertively, my anxiety,
and the severe dissociation I went through earlier this year has made it easier to have a good trip because I now know when I disso tripping that it is NO more dangerous than when I have dissociated sober. In fact it actually safer because I know the reason why, and because it will stop once I sober up.
I had many other profound thoughts but yeah there are so many good things in the world. I bought this tickets back in May, back when I was REALLY struggling, in fact I think it was when I was just blowing up and dissociating, ran off from my best friend, everything was falling apart. In any case I was fucked up. But I knew I had to still live. And funny enough since then I've worked so fucking hard that I was able to have a great time.
Thanks for reading
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