I recently made the decision to return to college after fucking up with it and not going for two years. I'm at a place in my life where I think I have what it takes to make a committment to education, and I really am looking forward to going back.
But there is a problem...financial aid. My parents said they would pay for alot of it, but that I have to apply for financial aid. I was going to fill out the FAFSA form, but then I realized I couldn't because I don't have an updated social security card with my married name on it. So I go to the social security webpage and discover that I have to fill out all that paperwork and SEND THEM my original marriage certificate, and wait before I can get my name changed on my social security card. I am nervous about sending them an original document like my marriage certificate...it's just a whole lot of crap.
And even if I get my social security card taken care of and apply to FAFSA, there is a good chance that I will not be eligible for financial aid because of the terrible situation that my husbands mom and grandparents have put us in. You see, he "owns" real estate, but he doesn't get any money off of it, because his mother takes it all. To make a long story short, he was supposed to get sole ownership of the properties from his mom when he was 21, but she hates me so much that when he married me, she changed it so that the properties won't legally be out of her control until he is 31. So now that we're married, his real estate is technically my real estate, so on tax forms and stuff it doesn't LOOK like we're below the poverty level, but we really are because he doesn't get SHIT from the properties.
So that might mean that I can't get a loan or anything for my fucking school. I'll still try, but it doesn't look good at this point. Kevin "owns" over $500,000 in property, but he doesn't really own it or get income off it, because of his stupid mother. So unless he breaks out of the family contract completely, there may be no way for me to get financial aid for school.
It's just all so fucked up. Kevin's mom also cut him off from college a few years ago because of me, yet everytime he talks to her she lectures him about how he needs to go to college. How fucking stupid is that? If she cared that much, she shouldn't have cut him off, the stupid bitch. He has a great job and works full time right now, but even then we don't have the ability to pay for college for either of us. I am only getting this opportunity because of MY parents who said they would help me out, but if I don't get any financial aid (because of the fucking property situation), I might not be able to go at all.
I'm so bummed out at this particular moment. All I want to do is go to college, but it seems so complicated at this point. Please, no lectures on how I "should have gone right out of high school." Let's just say that I can see now why people say that you should get college out of the way early, because any later and it can just get too fucking difficult and complicated!!
To make matters worse, I don't know what to do. I feel so helpless and fucked over. I know that's not necessarily true, but that's just how I feel. I'll probably try to get my social security card straightened out, and then apply for FAFSA or whatever financial aid that there is and see if I can get it. If I can't because of the property situation, then I think I might just lose it and go nuts for a few days. I want to break something and scream just thinking about it.
I just feel so frustrated. I HATE Kevin's mother. I fucking hate her, the prune-faced fat ass CUNT. I know I shouldn't. I know I should have the same love for her that I try to have for the rest of humanity, but she is such a detestable BITCH!! Why can't she just get over the fact that I'm married to her damn son and get over it!!?? Seriously, she has tried her best to make life miserable for Kevin and I since we got together. I can't even explain all the nasty, vindictive schemes and bitchy things she's done to try and break us up. I don't know why she hates me so much! I've been nothing but nice, but now I am at my wits end with her. If I end up unable to get a loan or aid for college because she is being an ugly and putrid malicious whore due to her own stupid insecurities then there WILL be hell to pay. I've had it.
All I want to do is go to college!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
Sorry, but I'm feeling so discouraged right now.
*me*
Edit: P.S.
I really have been so much happier lately, but sometimes the steam must flow.
Edited by EllemyshShade (06/09/04 01:39 AM)
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I'm going to check it out tomorrow. 
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