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Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics > The Psychedelic Experience
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If I eat 10 grams of penis envy will it result in definite ego death?
    #25747650 -

Last week I ate 650ug 1p-LSD and had my first glimpse of ego death. All there was was visual input; moving colour and pattern with no memory of myself. Just visual input, of which I actually have little memory, and nothing else. No concept of the room I was in, my past, my present. At this dose I was only dipping into ego death for what I believe were short periods of time before regaining myself...then dipping back into ego death. This happened on and off for perhaps an hour or two. I handled it fine.

People use the term 'ego death' often and I honesty don't think a lot of people truly understand what it means. Especially when people are reporting it from like 3g mushrooms.

I think I'm perhaps ready to increase the length of time in which I remain in ego death but wish to instead do it with mushrooms, as the antidepressant effect from psilocybin is more pronounced than that of LSD in my experience.

Will eating 10g penis envy do the job do you think? I don't want to be in ego death solidly for hours because I think that would be terrifying and I have no idea how I would respond to that. I imagine with abject terror which could perhaps result in screaming and confusion and panic. But obviously I can't say for sure. A trip sitter isn't an option.

Does anybody have experience with around that dose of penis envy? What can I expect? How can I maintain a relaxed state during longer periods of ego death when I don't have any concept of myself? What have you found the benefits of ego death to be when compared to just tripping?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!


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Throw down your umbilical noose so I can climb right back

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Re: If I eat 10 grams of penis envy will it result in definite ego death? [Re: MrCraggles]
    #25747665 -

Ego death is the process of seeing your identity die.Some people can't let go and have a bad trip.

I don't think we can call ''forgetting who I am'' as the ego death that I understand.

I think it will be a lot harder on 10 g of penis envy and you might even regret it.

But if you feel like doing it, just go for it.We all die anyway.

PS: Yes, you will experience hardcore full blown out ego death :grin:


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                  God is love.God is truth.God is wisdom.God is good.God is Justice.All is God

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Re: If I eat 10 grams of penis envy will it result in definite ego death? [Re: MrCraggles] * 3
    #25747702 -

Nothing is guaranteed to result in ego death.  First the ego has to want to die.  If it fights well enough it can withstand any dosage...

But yeah, generally, at 10 g PE you'll black out and not remember the ego death if it happens.  So not much value there in just going too large, why I shoot for just this side of the black abyss in dosing.


Quote:
How can I maintain a relaxed state during longer periods of ego death when I don't have any concept of myself?


:dafuq:  Seriously? Not. Doesn't ever work that way.

No matter what you may have experienced so far you're talking about a state that doesn't have self consciousness (e.g. ego mind) in it.  Without that there is no "I" to experience and reflect, no "I" to experience this:

Quote:
I imagine with abject terror


Who is this "I" that reacts with terror to its own dissolution?  No, it's an absence of an observer all together, the original state of cosmic consciousness or original mind, depending on which tradition is describing something that doesn't exist in words at all.

'nuff said, just go and find out.  You won't regret it, that's for sure.  :goodday:


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if you stand too close to the machine it'll start to eat you
Primal's simple tested teks and projects: :awesomenod: Wheat Prep 2.0  Acidic Tea Tek  Potency Project! 

Edited by PrimalSoup (01/16/19 03:49 PM)

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Re: If I eat 10 grams of penis envy will it result in definite ego death? [Re: AstralAurora]
    #25747706 -

5-7 G’s should suffice, there is such thing as a shroom blackouts after the 10g mark.

I’ve experienced other realms on big doses, some of them mystical, to freakishly hellish shit.


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Re: If I eat 10 grams of penis envy will it result in definite ego death? [Re: MrCraggles]
    #25747718 -

Ill dip sit you


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Re: If I eat 10 grams of penis envy will it result in definite ego death? [Re: AstralAurora]
    #25747731 -

AstralAurora said:
Ego death is the process of seeing your identity die.Some people can't let go and have a bad trip.

I don't think we can call ''forgetting who I am'' as the ego death that I understand.

I think it will be a lot harder on 10 g of penis envy and you might even regret it.

But if you feel like doing it, just go for it.We all die anyway.

PS: Yes, you will experience hardcore full blown out ego death :grin:


I DID see my identity die because it felt like I'd dissolved and so I didn't exist. Just visual input. And in not existing I had no memory of myself.


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Throw down your umbilical noose so I can climb right back

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Re: If I eat 10 grams of penis envy will it result in definite ego death? [Re: Deemstar]
    #25747743 -

Ego death, IMHO, only means forgetting who you are as an entity separate from everything else. Like Astral said your sense of self just dies, it's not there anymore. You get to experience the nature of one-ness and visually see how interconnected everything is. But not from the standpoint of "I saw/learned/experienced this" but more from the standpoint of "This is what I'm a part of". It's like you shed your ego in exchange for an awareness of the bigger ego that contains everything. And that is the POV of the experience.

And so on.

I will say that there is something beyond ego death, Which I still don't have a firm grasp of. It's like I went through it and was back out on the other side as me again. Don't know if I was witnessing actual death, a stepping off point, or something else entirely. It was a place of great power, though. Very windy, too. Dunno what the wind was all about.

But I digress.

In any case "Ego Death" is not dose dependent. Many people experience it through meditative practices or rituals. Looking at it as a dose dependent experience may actually be a blind alley where you keep upping the dose only to keep finding yourself dipping your toes in the sea.

But it's different for everyone so please report back what you learn.


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How can you be in two places at once, when you're not anywhere at all?

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Re: If I eat 10 grams of penis envy will it result in definite ego death? [Re: PrimalSoup]
    #25747744 -

PrimalSoup said:
Nothing is guaranteed to result in ego death.  First the ego has to want to die.  If it fights well enough it can withstand any dosage...

But yeah, generally, at 10 g PE you'll black out and not remember the ego death if it happens.  So not much value there in just going too large, why I shoot for just this side of the black abyss in dosing.


Quote:
How can I maintain a relaxed state during longer periods of ego death when I don't have any concept of myself?


:dafuq:  Seriously? Not. Doesn't ever work that way.

No matter what you may have experienced so far you're talking about a state that doesn't have self consciousness (e.g. ego mind) in it.  Without that there is no "I" to experience and reflect, no "I" to experience this:

Quote:
I imagine with abject terror


Who is this "I" that reacts with terror to its own dissolution?  No, it's an absence of an observer all together, the original state of cosmic consciousness or original mind, depending on which tradition is describing something that doesn't exist in words at all.

'nuff said, just go and find out.  You won't regret it, that's for sure.  :goodday:


I didn't say I'd be conscious of the abject terror. I don't know how my body would respond to extended periods of ego death. I've seen a guy on YouTube FREAKING OUT and referring to himself in the third person 'is he going to die?!' and I would assume in him losing his ego and therefore his identity he would refer to himself in the third person. He was FLIPPING OUT big style. So I don't doubt for a second that it's possible for your body to go nuts in response, even if you're not conscious of it. I definitely don't want that for me!

I had no idea it was possible to black out from too high a dose.

OK you guys are talking me down from eating ten grams penis envy. I guess if I eat eight instead and it isn't enough I can always increase it next time.

Have you guys experienced ego death for extended periods then? What's it like? How were you affected afterwards?


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Throw down your umbilical noose so I can climb right back

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Re: If I eat 10 grams of penis envy will it result in definite ego death? [Re: MrCraggles]
    #25747769 -

You are asking for a description of something that can't be described in words. "Oneness" comes closest for me but that doesn't describe the scope or the scale. Primal's cosmic consciousness or original mind would also work as place holders.

To paraphrase Thomas Aquinas: “For those who understand, no explanation is necessary; for those who don't understand, no explanation is possible."


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How can you be in two places at once, when you're not anywhere at all?

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Re: If I eat 10 grams of penis envy will it result in definite ego death? [Re: MrCraggles] * 1
    #25747772 -

YouTube link compilation. We want the links
:crazy2:


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Re: If I eat 10 grams of penis envy will it result in definite ego death? [Re: MadValley]
    #25747777 -

MadValley said:
You are asking for a description of something that can't be described in words. "Oneness" comes closest for me but that doesn't describe the scope or the scale. Primal's cosmic consciousness or original mind would also work as place holders.

To paraphrase Thomas Aquinas: “For those who understand, no explanation is necessary; for those who don't understand, no explanation is possible."


Haha oh wow. I definitely need this. I don't want to just keep dipping in and out like last time.

If it isn't entirely dose dependent then how can I help the process along?

Guys I'm going in for the plunge! I'll go for eight grams and report back to you :wink:

Thanks for the help


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Throw down your umbilical noose so I can climb right back

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Re: If I eat 10 grams of penis envy will it result in definite ego death? [Re: MrCraggles]
    #25747779 -

" If I eat 10 grams of penis envy will it result in definite ego death?"

Maybe.
The chances are pretty good, I reckon.


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Need a restaurant web site? (Yes, I made this) :sunny: :sunny: :sunny:    I make some music

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Re: If I eat 10 grams of penis envy will it result in definite ego death? [Re: cherylScott]
    #25747780 -

cherylScott said:
YouTube link compilation. We want the links
:crazy2:


Here you go!



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Throw down your umbilical noose so I can climb right back

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Re: If I eat 10 grams of penis envy will it result in definite ego death? [Re: MrCraggles]
    #25747785 -

MrCraggles said:
If it isn't entirely dose dependent then how can I help the process along?

Guys I'm going in for the plunge! I'll go for eight grams and report back to you :wink:

Thanks for the help




Being in a good mood leading up to the trip will help.
Being in a safe, comfortable environment will help.
Make sure your body has been nourished today so you can really get the most out of the experience.
Try meditating during the come up.


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Need a restaurant web site? (Yes, I made this) :sunny: :sunny: :sunny:    I make some music

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Re: If I eat 10 grams of penis envy will it result in definite ego death? [Re: lifeiswhatyoumake]
    #25747790 -

I'm not doing this trip for another week just to let my tolerance from the 1p-LSD subside.

Meditating is a great idea thank you. I've never actually meditated on psychedelics. I've done yoga and that was just unreal!


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Throw down your umbilical noose so I can climb right back

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Re: If I eat 10 grams of penis envy will it result in definite ego death? [Re: MrCraggles]
    #25747801 -

I find it interesting you took 650 ug of 1P.  Most I've taken is 50 ug and that was amazing!  The good vibes were unreal.

I wonder if this trip I had a long time ago counts as ego death:

I took DXM and then smoked a bong rip right at the peak and sat down, Indian style, and closed my eyes.
I then found myself in outer space with my arms and legs stretching for infinity in four different directions.  I felt this pure, radiating cosmic bliss.  I felt like I was God, since my limbs went on for infinity, because isn't God in all places at once?


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Need a restaurant web site? (Yes, I made this) :sunny: :sunny: :sunny:    I make some music

Edited by lifeiswhatyoumake (01/16/19 04:33 PM)

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Re: If I eat 10 grams of penis envy will it result in definite ego death? [Re: lifeiswhatyoumake]
    #25747812 -

lifeiswhatyoumake said:
I find it interesting you took 650 ug of 1P.  Most I've taken is 50 ug and that was amazing!  The good vibes were unreal.

I wonder if this trip I had a long time ago counts as ego death:

I took DXM and then smoked a bong rip right at the peak and sat down, Indian style, and closed my eyes.
I then found myself in outer space with my arms and legs stretching for infinity in four different directions.  I felt this pure, radiating cosmic bliss.  I felt like I was God, since my limbs went on for infinity, because isn't God in all places at once?


I'd think that because you still had a sense of yourself; 'I felt' then it wasn't ego death and just tripping your tits off haha. Sounds fun though!


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Throw down your umbilical noose so I can climb right back

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Re: If I eat 10 grams of penis envy will it result in definite ego death? [Re: MrCraggles]
    #25747817 -

True, that thought crossed my mind, but what about this:  I did forget my sense of self with regards to my Earthly self, if that makes sense.  I never even thought something like "woah I feel like God.  This is cool."  Instead I just knew I was God.  Does a change of identity count as ego loss?


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Need a restaurant web site? (Yes, I made this) :sunny: :sunny: :sunny:    I make some music

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Re: If I eat 10 grams of penis envy will it result in definite ego death? [Re: lifeiswhatyoumake]
    #25747819 -

I'm not sure but I'm sure somebody else will be able to chime in!


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Throw down your umbilical noose so I can climb right back

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Re: If I eat 10 grams of penis envy will it result in definite ego death? [Re: MrCraggles]
    #25748093 -

It depends. Some people could get ego death on 2 grams; others apparently need 10, 15 or more. As you dose higher, you encroach closer and closer to the edge of inevitability. If you have dosed enough to reach this, you either die or have a bad trip. Sometimes, if you dose high enough, the bad trip is merely a stop on the way to annihilation.

It maps on nicely to the whole Tibetan Book of the Dead concept of the bardo (suspension between death and rebirth) or the (I believe) Aboriginal idea of the guardian at the portal to the Dreamtime. Useful metaphors for understanding psychological domains of experience that occur semi-reliably in response to certain perturbations.

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Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics > The Psychedelic Experience
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