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Lack of confidence * 3
    #25082391 -

Hi guys

I dont really know my problem but maybe is lack of confidence. My voice trembles and lacks asssurance and i seem not to be capable to take decisions for my future alone . If you see my status says medicatef and the reason why is because my thoughts are disorganized as my doctor says but i think is kind of bullshit.

Now what I feel is as i regret every thing I do in public even if its a good thing
Im constntly regreting
Bye guys

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Re: Lack of confidence [Re: Spiralspider]
    #25082416 -

How much do you care what others think of you, and why would that be important?
Do you think how you're seen by others is what is determining your behavior, and your regret?

If so that would simply mean you're very empathetic, and you over analyze social interactions, just like me. :sad:
The only remedy is putting yourself back into uncomfortable situations more and more, until it's no longer uncomfortable, and then people can see the real you.


--------------------
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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Re: Lack of confidence [Re: Spiralspider]
    #25083236 -

We all have numerous factors that play into our ability to have confidence. For me I would say this ear disease called Patulous Eustachian Tube had a big impact. It made it hard to talk. After I got it fixed I could talk again and that boosted my confidence. Then I had to stop drinking coffee because I'm sensitive to caffeine. Diet plays a big role in our ability to have confidence. Then I had to sort of coach myself a lot with positive thinking. I think such things as "no one can do me any harm and no is more righteous than me". I made a lot of mantras and think about them towards my heart chakra.

Another thing that made a big difference was cutting narcissist, cluster B type people out of my life. I don't even talk to my parents anymore because of their emotional abuse. After a few years of no contact with them I feel a lot more confident. Also, dealing with guilt is a big one to help with confidence. Getting a good night's rest is important for confidence.

So as you can see it's a lot of things that determine your confidence level. You need to practice being around people to develop confidence in social situations.

Edited by kent101 (03/22/18 08:39 PM)

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Re: Lack of confidence [Re: Spiralspider] * 1
    #25083260 -

For a small few of us, confidence comes naturally.

For all the rest of us, we either learn it or we don't.

How much effort are you willing to expend to learn how to feel and radiate it?


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe

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Re: Lack of confidence [Re: Spiralspider]
    #25083725 -

Start exercising.  Learn to be happy with yourself.  That alone can build confidence and help with everything else related to it.


--------------------
Nothing says love like grannies prolapsed anus!

quote]Urb said:
I know... Its fucked up... Ill fix it minyana..[/quote]

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Re: Lack of confidence [Re: kent101]
    #25084692 -

kent101 said:
We all have numerous factors that play into our ability to have confidence. For me I would say this ear disease called Patulous Eustachian Tube had a big impact. It made it hard to talk. After I got it fixed I could talk again and that boosted my confidence. Then I had to stop drinking coffee because I'm sensitive to caffeine. Diet plays a big role in our ability to have confidence. Then I had to sort of coach myself a lot with positive thinking. I think such things as "no one can do me any harm and no is more righteous than me". I made a lot of mantras and think about them towards my heart chakra.

Another thing that made a big difference was cutting narcissist, cluster B type people out of my life. I don't even talk to my parents anymore because of their emotional abuse. After a few years of no contact with them I feel a lot more confident. Also, dealing with guilt is a big one to help with confidence. Getting a good night's rest is important for confidence.

So as you can see it's a lot of things that determine your confidence level. You need to practice being around people to develop confidence in social situations.


kent101 said:
We all have numerous factors that play into our ability to have confidence. For me I would say this ear disease called Patulous Eustachian Tube had a big impact. It made it hard to talk. After I got it fixed I could talk again and that boosted my confidence. Then I had to stop drinking coffee because I'm sensitive to caffeine. Diet plays a big role in our ability to have confidence. Then I had to sort of coach myself a lot with positive thinking. I think such things as "no one can do me any harm and no is more righteous than me". I made a lot of mantras and think about them towards my heart chakra.

Another thing that made a big difference was cutting narcissist, cluster B type people out of my life. I don't even talk to my parents anymore because of their emotional abuse. After a few years of no contact with them I feel a lot more confident. Also, dealing with guilt is a big one to help with confidence. Getting a good night's rest is important for confidence.

So as you can see it's a lot of things that determine your confidence level. You need to practice being around people to develop confidence in social situations.


Yeah I mean people determine a lot our confidence and when I want something they tell me not what I need.
Maybe your disease is also something that I have because I feel I cant talk anymore I lost my ways to start or get in a conversation. How did you cure it ?

My problem with confidence goes deep and i think what is the purpose if I cant get nothing.. im not able to treat people as equal..
Bye guys

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Re: Lack of confidence [Re: Spiralspider]
    #25097876 -

gotta seek the truth

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Re: Lack of confidence [Re: Spiralspider]
    #25112398 -

Spiralspider said:
Now what I feel is as i regret every thing I do in public even if its a good thing


Sounds like you have a strong inner-critic that harshly berates and bashes you.

You might benefit from self-compassion and self-acceptance practices.

Of the teachers who train on neutralizing the inner-critic, Mark Coleman is a fave.

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Re: Lack of confidence [Re: RJ Tubs 202] * 1
    #25114481 -

when I was young in my teens I lacked confidence and I wouldnt talk much. I was always worried about what people thought about me. I just forced myself to open up and start talking to people especially women. It was like flipping a light switch. Now I am just the opposite so much confidence and dont give a shit about what people think about me. Now I am very critical of other people but also of myself. If someone doesnt fit what I believe to be a good person I dont allow them in my life. Diet and exercise play a huge role in how your brain functions. After I get a really good workout I feel so peaceful and also powerful. Just work at it hard. You can change anything about yourself. I have changed so much its unbelievable.

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Re: Lack of confidence [Re: ds442]
    #25115044 -

Do you suffer from anxiety? When you are around people is your mind racing and it makes you nervous? Sounds like that might be the case as you stated your voice trembles. So I never really had anxiety. I have always been a calm and easy going person. I was on this medication and while I was getting off it I was suffering extreme anxiety. I would take this hemp extract mixed with hemp seed oil and it would take it away. Really just calmed my brain down. The hemp plant contain cannabinoids which are actually produced in your body. They help with alot of things mental and physical. Its totally safe with no side effects. Could be something worth looking into for you.

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Re: Lack of confidence [Re: ds442]
    #25117551 -

Tire the body to rest the mind.

Tire the mind to rest the body.





Too many thoughts.  Physical exercise will help so will Traditional Chinese Medicines Zhan Zhuang and Six Healing Sounds.


--------------------
"Distinguish between gain and loss in worldly matters"-Musashi

"Was yesterday better than today?  ...if so, why?"



"Aisle nine by the catfood"AR

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Re: Lack of confidence [Re: ds442] * 2
    #25119500 -

ds442 said:
I was always worried about what people thought about me.


I suspect for millions of people, that's the repetitive thought that fuels social anxiety. 

This type of irrational distorted thinking takes some effort to defeat, but can be done!

It's wise to not blindly believe products of the mind, as they're often not in our best interest.

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Re: Lack of confidence [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
    #25120031 -

RJ Tubs 202 said:
ds442 said:
I was always worried about what people thought about me.


I suspect for millions of people, that's the repetitive thought that fuels social anxiety. 

This type of irrational distorted thinking takes some effort to defeat, but can be done!

It's wise to not blindly believe products of the mind, as they're often not in our best interest.


:kaneclap:


--------------------
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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Re: Lack of confidence [Re: Tmethyl]
    #25120148 -

It's not that I lack confidence. I lack the hope that people will care enough to be engaging. Like with certain people or groups I can open up and have a great time. But the large portion of the time I feel myself not even trying for lack of hope.


--------------------
[quote]koods said:
Asante, I don’t think we should have any sympathy and should celebrate the deaths of antivax/antimask activists. They are responsible for far more American deaths than al Qaeda ever was. Every time one of them dies ther movement of death is weakened.ut[/quote]

[quote]koods said:
Chasing variants with vaccines is a dumb idea[/quote]

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Re: Lack of confidence [Re: paradoxlost]
    #25120187 -

paradoxlost said:
the large portion of the time I feel myself not even trying for lack of hope.


We all deal with that feeling sometimes. Some more than others.

It strikes me that the difference between the people who are held back by it and those who succeed even in the face of it is purely a mindset; the determination to push on through that feeling.

It's like what is said about Bravery - that it's not an absence of fear - simply the mastery of it.

I think the same can be said of anything that holds us back.

Mastery takes time and practice.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe

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Re: Lack of confidence [Re: Spiralspider]
    #25120844 -

I understand where you're coming from. I used to feel the same way and then some... I lacked confidence and was more of an introvert then anything else. I had very low self esteem... It was crazy... I realize this may sound corny but you're awesome bro... You're worth knowing. I wish you my friend in real life. I would help you get over this crazy shit you're going through.

One thing that played a role in overcoming my issues was reading this book The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem: The Definitive Work on Self-Esteem by the Leading Pioneer in the Field  It is an older book but the message is powerful and timeless...

One more thing... Someone had already mentioned eating well. I agree 100%... If our diet is bad our brain/mind can get tripped up...

Take care man...


--------------------
personal note: "It’s fair to say I’m stepping out on a limb, but I am on the edge and that’s where it happens.”

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Re: Lack of confidence [Re: Spiralspider]
    #25121664 -

We share that same kinda thang.

What I've found is all the 'cool' fellas you grow up with and maybe make friends with that seem as if they just radiate confidence like it's just bound to them, actually that's just like that because they've ingrained themselves in this whole social game at an early start. You will find pretty much 100% of the time, all those 'cool' people you may have been inspired by when you were young and naive, actually turn out to be repulsive people when they get older and the friends they made (if many at all) reflect this knowledge. So don't worry about fitting in man. Learn to laugh at yourself as best you can. I have faith you'll find some people who can respectfully make fun of you in every way possible and you can do the same to them. You will find, if you meet such people who just laugh at this whole world... that these are the people with vision and ideals and actually do want to see a better, more happier world with more positivity. Don't expect anything though.

Just remember, in such a society we have, there are people who will try to use your time and so called person that we are, just for amusement as the consumer world has created a lot of goofy losers that live for superficiality of their imagined self and their parents may not ever give a shit if they live in their basement til their 40. :|

Luckily my mom would whop my ass if I were to live with her for another year or so, and my brothers would take her side. :lol:

Too much information is just as dangerous as too little. Don't worry too much how you perceive yourself or how others perceive you. Best advice I can give is fall in love with life, and just live it every day how you want to, with love. And whatever your attention goes towards, just observe, allow, and once all that 'overwhelming' shit passes (so you don't make any 'irrational' moves) then do what you want to do, and of course with love.

No one is perfect, some of us are extremely far from perfect, living our shit lives as some imagined hill billy or gangsta rappa or (as my friend put it) sluts now a days are called 'thots'... yea you get my drift... some of us are just purely conditioned in this shit life we're sold in central 'murica... our favorite things are talking about pizza and cats... and the most intelligent things we say are "mantis shrimp perceive 12 variations of color compared to humans 3". Point is= trash humans make trash humans... but we're still all gods... some of us are the gods of trash... or as marilyn manson says... god of fuck. This paragraph has become exhausting just to make a simple point.

My philosophy is yes, no one, even people we consider to be more loving and open minded, or the sages, no one is perfect. Doesn't mean we don't treat everyone as equal, because we all share the same field of sight. We interpret shit differently, and maybe some of those that are considered 'extroverted' are very good with social ques and do make this trash lifestyle run pretty and smoothly. But just know, PEOPLE WILL DRAIN/USE YOU. Consciously or unconsciously. Your vibe is contagious. So don't be too untrusting, however, you can be happy living your life with like pretty much no friends for YEARS. Not saying that is something you want to do, and maybe conforming a bit to your social peers's idea of 'parteeeey fun' is alright every now and then. Just trust yourself man. I say, get to know this amazing self you/we are. Try to limit computer time, and try to go hiking/biking/however you like going into nature. I find the joy of being is greater than any double cheese burger or tequila on the rocks or orgy known to man. That happiness is limited and I think it is true humans like the freedom in pleasure but also simultaneously fear it. Regardless, just be happy. Once you are happy, you will radiate confidence. Confidence that is not arrogance, but everlasting confidence, when you find out who/what you are. Hopefully we all can before all this fucking information destroys us soon than later.

Peace brotha.


--------------------
"There are times— and this would be a great study for somebody to do—there have been periods in English when there were emotions that don't exist anymore, because the words have been lost. There are colors that don't exist anymore because the words have been lost." — Terence McKenna (The Archaic Revival: 1991)


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Re: Lack of confidence [Re: pur3bind]
    #25142935 -

Wow, yeah, that paragraph was nice i had to hold my breath to read it , you are right about it , pure transmission there really coming from your own experience that puts you on second level of sageness.

Some people seem that they dont get meanings of conversation thats why I dont get confident anymore probably though I.still like to talk I dont really understand anymore myself and all the logic behind conversation I get or not get  lpeoples jokes or if they are trying to get serious attention like an honest answer you know being true and jokey or being true but try to do something. You probably know how to handle socializing better than me im no good, when I get confident to talk to people I write and then erase it again and again because every answer people give me makes me feel guilty and every second that passes while people are answering is torturing and I run away from the computer because I dont want to read the answer people did, im thinking I dont have the mental strenght to stay and have a conversation its maybe related to commitment what do you think?

If I got those things solved I would be a happier guy I know what you mean about.not having friendships for years but at least I dream about getting confident enough.to be socially resourceful of topics and jokes when im around other people I easily get bored and not able to talk privately with somebody about real stuff like feelings or is it because time is running out or because its dangerous everything opposed to freedom and my voice is.no good either.

I really enjoyed your post
See ye

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Re: Lack of confidence [Re: Spiralspider] * 1
    #25143958 -

I lack confidence as well and hold myself to irrational standards that are unreasonable. Then when I am unable to meet those unrealistic expectations I beat myself up and lose more confidence in the process. Meanwhile any achievments are dismissed as trite and not worthwhile.

It's a tough grind but the thing I like to remind myself is that logical fallacies are not reasonable standards and I mustn't hold myself to a higher standard than I would anyone else. Easier said than done. But we all have worth and sometimes it's harder to see in yourself than in others.

Don't live your life with regret. It's too short. I know.


--------------------
:headbang3: Pastywhyte's Easy Writeups :headbang3: My Favorite Grow Logs :headbang3:
:headbang3: Avoiding the dreaded facepalm in cultivation :headbang3: The worst threads all have the same subjects :headbang3:
:headbang3: Q & A.M.U. :headbang3:

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Re: Lack of confidence [Re: Pastywhyte]
    #25237716 -

I would like to add a new entrance to thos topic

Some time ago moved from my city and now im in a new town and dont have friends here.
The only people I know are the working people from bars and the gym I go to

Due to my lack of confidence im unable to talk to people if it isnt their job to talk with me... i think this will be forever everywhere I go ...I dont feel I have the need to meet people but afterwards I regret I didnt talk to them because when I want to go out nobody is there to call...

I Would like to mention that my connections all go wrong because I cant really speak truthfully. Because people coherced me to speak like this and like that I forgot what conversations are for

I guess taking abilify now and invega in the past worsened the situation because all i wanna do is talk about how unfair it was but i think that telling it would push people out instead of making new relationships.

It doesnt help also that im 27 and doing new relationships is harder than 7 years ago... nowadays everyone meets people on facebook and instagram and I cant make conversations about nothing it feels like the other is always better than me

Any comment i appreciate

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