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InvisibleMushie_Man
Fuck Up

Registered: 05/21/04
Posts: 889
Loc: UK
Lack of social motivation
    #4298376 - 06/15/05 10:11 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

I don't know if it's just me or if everybody else out there feels the same, like it's just the way life works. But i just seem to be missing my social stamina. A majority of the time I'm just content to sit with a group of people and not get involved, it's not that i don't want to be the sort of person who just stands back its just i have no motivation to talk, i wouldn't put it all down to lazyness. I find it hard to get involved with a one on one conversation with people, mainly just discussing small talk, never anything in depth. I just lack my inner spark.

Over the past few months and after researching some past posts the drug adderall seems to crop up frequently, I'm wondering if this could help my lack of motivation. It's not just social motivation, i mean i haven't been to college for a week and i couldn't really care less. I need something to put that extra buzz in me that i seem to be missing, which i can only find when under the influence of drugs such as alcohol or ecstasy, weed just makes me more anti-social.

Can anyone else relate and does anyone know if adderall could help in anyway?

Thanks,
Mushie Man  :mushroom2:


--------------------
Ecstacy got me standing next to you
Getting sentimental as fuck spillin' guts to you
We just met
But I think I'm in love with you
But you're on it too
So you tell me you love me too
Wake up in the morning like "yo, what the fuck we do?"


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OfflinePowerTrip
Polypharmaceutical Shaman
Male

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 03/07/05
Posts: 1,148
Loc: The void
Last seen: 4 years, 10 months
Re: Lack of social motivation [Re: Mushie_Man]
    #4298474 - 06/15/05 11:01 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

It sounds like it could be a form of social anxiety. I suffer from it myself and I know what it's like to be with a group of people and not say a word for an hour or more. The weed definitely makes it worse. Alcohol definitely makes it better. I'm not advocating either drug, just stating my observations. I began using the herb Kanna to treat my social anxiety. I believe it is working quite well.

There is also the possibility that you are not being social with your friends because they aren't really close friends. This is an assumption on my part but when I was into smoking weed I ran with a crowd of people who weren't real friends to me. My advice is take it easy on the weed and find some people you are cool with.


--------------------
I spit reality, instead of what you usually learn
and I refuse to be concerned with condescending advice
cause I'm the only motherfucker that can change my life


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InvisibleIcelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Male

Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 93,974
Loc: underbelly
Re: Lack of social motivation [Re: Mushie_Man]
    #4298513 - 06/15/05 11:18 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Maybe you just don't care for the borning sameness of most conversation, where people just want their thoughts reflected back to them.

Maybe you have a spiritual calling that you haven't heeded. Life is pretty exciting when your not dumbing yourself down to fit in. :heart: :mushroom2:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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OfflineGodspeed
Stranger
Registered: 04/17/05
Posts: 258
Loc: God's Basement
Last seen: 11 years, 5 months
Re: Lack of social motivation [Re: Icelander]
    #4299210 - 06/15/05 02:04 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

eya, i'm all ends of a social mess, but the majority of the time people aren't talking about things worth opening my mouth to respond to. i don't believe that's social anxiety, it's boredom with the spoken relations. the friends i've had for the past four years i don't usually have a problem with. i'm usually the center in conversation because i don't gossip or talk about all the triviality in my life.

it's alright to be nonresponsive in your social arenas.
'and yea, medication helps some. i mean it lets you get out of your head and have at least some compassion for others around you, and friendship needs that to survive


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InvisibleIcelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Male

Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 93,974
Loc: underbelly
Re: Lack of social motivation [Re: Godspeed]
    #4299241 - 06/15/05 02:14 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

I have found (no judgement intended) that the friends we have reflect where we ourselves are at.

The friends I have are few but they are gold. I wouldn't have fit in with them just a few years ago.

If you want excitement in life. I find there is nothing like the challenge of a committed dose of shrooms. For me at least, after such experience, nothing is taken for granted and you can see the magick in the most seemingly mundane events. :mushroom2:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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OfflinePowerTrip
Polypharmaceutical Shaman
Male

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 03/07/05
Posts: 1,148
Loc: The void
Last seen: 4 years, 10 months
Re: Lack of social motivation [Re: Godspeed]
    #4299882 - 06/15/05 04:47 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

but the majority of the time people aren't talking about things worth opening my mouth to respond to. i don't believe that's social anxiety, it's boredom with the spoken relations.




It is my opinion that if you have difficulty carrying on a conversation with your peers, you have some sort of mental reservation about speaking. If you really learn to "connect" with the people around you, then the topic of the conversation shouldn't matter very much. I feel this way because I realize my personal social anxiety was caused by me failing to connect with people. I would just mentally shut down in some situations because sharing my thoughts and feelings with people who I didn't know was a frightening thought. I began trying to convince myself that these people just weren't on the same level as myself, or that their conversation was too trivial. This line of thought only leads you further from your friends. The herb kanna helps me really connect with people and share my thoughts without reservation. It could be complete placebo effect, but I will accept the calming effect it brings regardless.


--------------------
I spit reality, instead of what you usually learn
and I refuse to be concerned with condescending advice
cause I'm the only motherfucker that can change my life


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OfflineGodspeed
Stranger
Registered: 04/17/05
Posts: 258
Loc: God's Basement
Last seen: 11 years, 5 months
Re: Lack of social motivation [Re: PowerTrip]
    #4300547 - 06/15/05 07:11 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

i agree with you, i think of that sometimes, that i'm trying to cover up my social inadequacy by thinking my mentality is above them, and i feel like an ass sometimes for thinking that because there are times when i have something of relation to speak with in an open topic, but i don't.

though, the majority of the time i really don't care what people are talking about. either badmouthing someone else, talking about things which i've already experienced and is old news, politics - but nothing meaningful - stuff like bush is an idiot, legalize pot. i don't get out much, i'm with my girlfriend a lot, but when i do go out i'm dumbfounded by what people surround themselves with. just the way they present themselves, they're change of face. one minute they're talking all intellectual and trying to communicate with me or whomever is in discussion with me, and then the next someone they know walks in the room and they're jumping off the walls in completely different character.

changing face, alone, is a major deterrent in socializing. i hate it when i see three sides of someone in five minutes, especially when it's people close to me. stay in fucking character. and being aware of this, it makes it all the harder for me to fit in or communicate because them i'm aware of my own inadequacy of changing face, and i feel like a hypocrite and put the blame on everyone around me.

so, solitude is forthcoming.


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Offlinethe_phoenix
Stranger

Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 541
Loc: Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Last seen: 10 years, 7 months
Re: Lack of social motivation [Re: Godspeed]
    #4300627 - 06/15/05 07:31 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Don't go to Adderal. You don't have social anxiety. You said it yourself, you don't find any merit in discussing trivial things. There's nothing wrong with this. Talk to more intelligent people.

And learn to recognize the divinity in everybody, so then when you get into a trivial conversation you will take part not out of interest in the triviality, but in the other person you're talking with. So your purpose in talking is to lead the conversation in a more meaningful direction, because you don't like seeing this triviality all around you, you don't like seeing your fellow humans being dumbed down in trivia, and you want to make a difference, you want to express your own views that are more than trivial.


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OfflineThe_Hobbit
Bilbo Baggins
 User Gallery

Registered: 04/06/04
Posts: 1,382
Loc: The Shire
Last seen: 10 years, 5 months
Re: Lack of social motivation [Re: Godspeed]
    #4300651 - 06/15/05 07:36 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

I feel exactly the same way, Godspeed. EXACTLY. I understand and relate to everything you're saying.

Try putting yourself out there more often. Shift the focus from everyone else to you. Let your input be known. Don't worry about whether or not what you're saying fits in. Just say it. Maybe you will have an effect on everyone else and the conversation will shift.

I have a group of friends who I feel stifled around sometimes. I just don't feel like talking about what they're talking about because I have nothing to say. Sometimes I will add something to the conversation and they'll acknowledge it, but not really listen or want to talk about what I have to say. There are other times when they will listen, though, and I'll become a main part of the conversation. I accept it either way. Patience is a virtue, but too much of it is a bad thing. Let your voice be heard.

I think the real solution is to find people who can relate to you. I have some good friends who I could have fun talking to for hours. You just have to get yourself out there and find those right people.


--------------------
Smoking my hobbit leaf...
Please keep in mind that I am just a human being. Please read my posts carefully and interpret their meaning for yourself.


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Offlinenightkrawler
explorer
Male

Registered: 06/18/04
Posts: 2,980
Loc: new england
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
Re: Lack of social motivation [Re: The_Hobbit]
    #4300870 - 06/15/05 08:44 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

i feel the same way a lot of times. i just dont get involved in some things people talk about. like all my friends love cars, and they go on and on and on about how this car has this turbo mod and v8 and 5 cylinder engines, and talk about all these things that i don't have a clue what they're talking about, and i have absolutely no interest in knowing what they're talking about. it's greek to me.

you just gotta make sure you do speak up when you have something to say. don't turn to adderall or any drugs for it. it's unnecassary. sometimes it's hard if you haven't said anything for awhile, but it's something you have to do if you want to get rid of your "social laziness".


--------------------

Not all who wander are lost - J.R.R. Tolkien


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Offlinecrunchytoast
oppositional

Registered: 04/07/05
Posts: 1,133
Loc: aporia
Last seen: 10 years, 4 months
Re: Lack of social motivation [Re: nightkrawler]
    #4302069 - 06/16/05 01:52 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

regarding adderall: i dont know the specifics of this drug, but there's nothing wrong with caring for yourself in a way that intuitively makes sense


--------------------
"consensus on the nature of equilibrium is usually established by periodic conflict." -henry kissinger


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Offlinenitroguy
SeiZureS

Registered: 05/10/05
Posts: 113
Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
Re: Lack of social motivation [Re: crunchytoast]
    #4302218 - 06/16/05 02:27 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Also, some people claim to experience more social anxiety with stimulants. Dexedrine doesn't do that to me but I attribute much of my social awkwardness to too much Ritalin in my childhood years although I fucking needed it seeing as I was a crazy ADHD kid.


--------------------
...Weapons are meant for destruction,
and thus are avoided by the wise.
Only as a last resort
will a wise person use a deadly weapon.
If peace is her true objective
how can she rejoice in the victory of war?
Those who rejoice in victory
delight in the slaughter of humanity.
Those who resort to violence
will never bring peace to the world...

Lao-Tzu, "Tao Te Ching--31" trans. J.H. McDonald


Edited by nitroguy (06/16/05 02:27 AM)


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