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 PickleJam Friend    Registered: 07/17/16 Posts: 142 Loc: walkin on sunshi Last seen: 7 years, 2 months |
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Hello all you beautiful fellow shroomers,
This is going to be quite the read. But if you've been wanting to dose big, even heroic, but have that continuous feeling of apprehensiveness then this might just be the post for you. I hope maybe it speaks to even just one person. I recently came across a couple of mind blowing posts here on shroomery. Namely, this one and this one. They both touch on and outline, in their own way, the topic that we are all one. That you are God, and I am God, and we are all each other. That God is us and we are God. Pause for thoughts......... I gave this a lot of thought, and have come to the conclusion that this makes a lot of sense..... Last year my boyfriend and I went on a camping trip and stacked two hits of L with who knows how many mushies. This being said because after we realized we didn't have a scale we just decided to split the bag of about 8 gs or so, there's no telling who got how much. My tolerance was still up pretty high from dosing not too long before that, so I was alright but my boyfriend had a complete ego destruction. Had know idea who he was, where we were, or anything like that. A few things he experienced during the total obliteration of his ego support this theory of one-ness so much. First of all, we were inside the tent for the majority of it, and it was a warm, humid night. He was sweating profusely, like absolutely pouring gallons of it, and he kept asking over and over again if it was raining. No, I kept replying, we're inside the tent, you're just sweating. Come to find out, he had no idea what the term sweating was. I'll touch back on this in just a sec. He also was touching himself all over, and looking down at his body nonstop. He had the look of utmost confusion and frustration on his face, it scared me. Later he told me that was because he felt like he shouldn't have had a physical body. That it didn't look or feel right in the least bit, and he was extremely uncomfortable in a body that he felt like wasn't his, or that he shouldn't even have had. If one didn't have, or wasn't supposed to/used to having a physical body, then it would make sense that he wouldn't know what 'sweating' was. Then, after he finally came down, remembered who he was, and we were just laying down, trying to relax in the aftermath, one of the very first things he said was this: "I'm going to tell you something....if it sounds crazy just go with it... but what if I'm God?" He also reported the feeling that time was stopped and looped at the same time. He felt like he would be living the same few moments over and over for forever. In the first post I linked, he touches on two different theories; I believe both of them to be simultaneously true. The second theory touches on the subject of time not existing. That it's just something we created to keep ourselves sane, a 'regulator' if you will of all the infinite, collective consciousness that we are all a part of. He also theorizes that everything past present and future would play out the same if rewinded a couple hundred years. I feel this to be true, especially if you look at it from a bigger picture: One decision in one universe, such as flipping a coin, will ultimately create a parallel universe where the opposite happens, right? So if rewinded a couple hundred years, it would make sense that those same decisions would have to happen again in order for the parallel universes to be created. Their creation would depend on it. Pause for thoughts.......... But psychedelics allow us to disrupt the regulator of the consciousness that is time, and what are we left with? Everything, as it is, all at once. All the emotions of us as a whole because we are actually one being. I believe I'm right when I say that 98% of people who have tripped have experienced this feeling of being one with the universe. And if psychedelics can allow us to stop time, then they can also allow us to WAKE UP and remember who we actually are---- ----AND THINK ABOUT IT LIKE THIS: Have you ever had a bad lucid dream? One where you knew you were dreaming, and it was going very bad so you wanted nothing more than to wake up, and be back to reality? I feel like that is what happened with my boyfriend, and with so many other people who have experienced ego death. They woke up, realized that they were trapped here in a manifestation of their own greater consciousness and wanted so bad just to wake up and return to the cosmos or wherever it is that our greater 'self' resides. That's why he felt so uncomfortable, forced in a human body that was so unfamiliar. Pause for thoughts......... Think some more on it, go ahead........... Now, something that you might be thinking, I know I was after trying to pick up the pieces of my mind that were blown all over the room: Well if we are all just part of one bigger consciousness, then where do our individual egos come from? So what do you think of this: Everyone knows the classic angel on one shoulder devil on the other scene, right? The angel and devil can represent different individual feelings, that we are feeling simultaneously. So guys what's to say that a celestial being can't have an infinite number of angels on one shoulder and an infinite number of devils on the other? We are all manifestations of 'our'(the being) inner feelings, and those feelings are each so powerful that they manifest as a person with their own thoughts and feelings-- Pause for thoughts............. Now consider this: we're all familiar with the term 'subconscious.' It's defined by Google as ..."of or concerning the part of the mind of which one is not fully aware but which influences one's actions and feelings." Now just think about that for a second. If something is not part of our 'awareness' then how could it possibly still affect our actions and feelings? I'm definitely still open to further ideas, but to me it seems like it could be because our subconscious is our root, our anchor to our actual 'self'. And if we're all not one being, then maybe many, collectively. This is about to be the nerdiest reference ever, but you know how in World of Warcraft, they made it to where you can play with, message, and completely interact with other characters even if they were in a different realm? Maybe Earth is just a 'hub' for the manifestations of many realms' beings' feelings to interact with each other, and we are all just the infinite energy that keeps supplying the manifestations........ Pauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu Whew. My overall point being, after realizing all of this and continuing to think about it, and continuing to have more revelations on it, I'm no longer scared to dose big, and lose my ego. After all, it's not like I'm going anywhere other than back into my own mind. And even though it's infinite and unfamiliar it's still my root...still me. The greater me. Last year was my first year with psychedelics and I often time used them just to have fun, and 'trip balls.' But the more I delve into the world of psychedelics and the more I look to find inner peace and what is my actual purpose in this universe, I see that they are not just drugs, but healers. I often time find myself looking at nature, or just the environment around me and having the sensation that I'm tripping. It all looks so imperfectly beautiful, like a beautiful moment in time is the direct manifestation of the feeling of love, happiness, and hope and faith. I believe that this is a sign of spiritual healing, to be able to just appreciate the current moment for what it is. Because for most of us, it is so terribly hard to live in the present. If this inspires even just one person to seek healing, I've accomplished my goal. I just want to share the knowledge that has brought me so much inner peace, and has helped me gain back the ability to live my life instead of being swallowed by anxiety day in and day out. Namaste 
-------------------- "We never lose our demons, we only learn to live above them."
  
DO NOT BE SHEEPLE GOD DAMN IT!!!!! CHANGE UP THE SYSTEM---->  <----CAUSE THAT'S YOU
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 bakerb287 Stranger   Registered: 06/24/16 Posts: 118 |
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I didn't read the whole post but I got the jist of it. I have come to similar conclusions without using the term god
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camerinkw flooger  Registered: 06/26/13 Posts: 708 Last seen: 6 years, 10 months |
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Doesn't convince me to do a heroic dose.
 But I like your enthusiasm and positivity. 
Edited by camerinkw (01/31/17 03:56 PM)
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LRG Supernaut  Registered: 04/04/16 Posts: 871 Last seen: 6 years, 9 months |
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I like the idea of Pantheism, the belief that God is everything.
I am God, but only a very infinitesimal part. Ego always comes back. You can never kill it. Not a fan of the term "ego death." My Teacher tells me you can't move on without it, so killing it or obliterating it isn't the way to go. Sure, you can surrender and whatnot, but once it goes the whole experience becomes sort of, how should I say, alien. You certainly come away with things, but only bits and pieces. Time exists, it's just relative. I personally love the present. It's called the present for a reason, it's a gift. Make the most of it and you will be rewarded. Should read the book SoulSword by Roshi Vernon Kitabu Turner. I recommend it to everyone. -------------------- "I found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay… small acts of kindness and love.” - Gandalf The Grey. "It is the mark of an educated mind to entertain a thought without accepting it." - Aristotle "I like to think of Jesus like with giant eagle's wings, and singin' lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an angel band and I'm in the front row and I'm HAMMERED DRUNK!" - Cal Naughton Jr. AKA The Magic Man. Abracadabra homes! "Each tear is a drop of poison released." - Anonymous "Could it be you're afraid of what your friends might say if they knew you believe in God above? They should realize before they criticize that God is the only way to Love." Edited by LRG (01/31/17 03:58 PM)
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sudly Quasar Praiser  Registered: 01/05/15 Posts: 14,481 |
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I don't mind large doses because I know the LD-50 of psilocybin and unless someone eats a few kilos of dried shrooms they should be physically fine aside from perhaps an upset stomach.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be. 
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PickleJam Friend Registered: 07/17/16 Posts: 142 Loc: walkin on sunshi Last seen: 7 years, 2 months |
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Thanks for your replies, guys!
lol darn well I mean whatever works for you man
Thanks for your insight. Yes I definitely love the present, present-minded meditation has been one of the best things that's ever happened to me. Love your input on ego, yes I do believe that we can't ever completely destroy it either. However what 'experience' do you refer to? The experience of the trip or of our self? and I will definitely read that book!! Been looking for a good book lately.
but do you think you can elaborate on this some pur-rease? 
-------------------- "We never lose our demons, we only learn to live above them."
DO NOT BE SHEEPLE GOD DAMN IT!!!!! CHANGE UP THE SYSTEM----> <----CAUSE THAT'S YOU
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PickleJam Friend Registered: 07/17/16 Posts: 142 Loc: walkin on sunshi Last seen: 7 years, 2 months |
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this. this this this. This is also a very good point. I remember repeating 'you can't overdose' to myself during an extremely intense acid trip. 
-------------------- "We never lose our demons, we only learn to live above them."
DO NOT BE SHEEPLE GOD DAMN IT!!!!! CHANGE UP THE SYSTEM----> <----CAUSE THAT'S YOU
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sudly Quasar Praiser Registered: 01/05/15 Posts: 14,481 |
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Acid is a different story and you can OD easier but again you would need well over 50 doses at once.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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PickleJam Friend Registered: 07/17/16 Posts: 142 Loc: walkin on sunshi Last seen: 7 years, 2 months |
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I appreciate your insight. That is a very good point! I suppose it doesn't have to necessarily be God itself, but like you said, a product of 'him.'
I really, really, really appreciate this...I do have an addictive personality, and to be completely honest while posting this, I had an intense fear that all of this is just a construct to make me feel better about using psychedelics so often.....not that I don't believe any of it, but with severe anxiety it's just always really hard to trust what thoughts are actually mine ya know.
Not sure what you mean by this. Because I feel like what I outlined there, and I may not have explained myself accurately enough, is what you said. I'm not trying to escape, by practicing present minded meditation I feel I'm doing just the opposite, like you said, seeing what's in front of me and trying to appreciate it. And as much with a sober mind as possible but....vices have become second nature to me, being sober is really painful for me... It is one thing that I hoped psychedelics could help me with, and one of my biggest fears was for them to just turn into another vice  Ergo trying to trip for healing, not to have fun.
I will do my best to heed your warning....and I can't thank you enough for all the insight you've offered me through your reply. -------------------- "We never lose our demons, we only learn to live above them."
DO NOT BE SHEEPLE GOD DAMN IT!!!!! CHANGE UP THE SYSTEM----> <----CAUSE THAT'S YOU
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PickleJam Friend Registered: 07/17/16 Posts: 142 Loc: walkin on sunshi Last seen: 7 years, 2 months |
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No, thank you for taking the time to reply. I learned a lot and found some comfort in your words.
-------------------- "We never lose our demons, we only learn to live above them."
DO NOT BE SHEEPLE GOD DAMN IT!!!!! CHANGE UP THE SYSTEM----> <----CAUSE THAT'S YOU
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wolfiewolfie Just wingin' it.  Registered: 06/16/15 Posts: 2,177 Loc: Australia 
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OP I have also come to the same conclusion. I feel as though all paths eventually lead to that same realization, however, I feel like the concept "We are one" is often misinterperated.
Consider this: One of anything can not exist, there can be only nothing or the illusion of many. Take the human body for example. It is seen as one thing, a single entity. But it is not 'one thing' because it is made up of multiple limbs and organs. So then we take an organ, the heart for example. It is seen as one thing, a single organ. But it is not 'one thing' because it is made up of multiple cells. So then, we continue our search for the existence of 'one' by taking a single cell, just one. But it is not 'one' because it is made up of multiple atoms. We then reach the end of our journey, realizing that a single atom is empty, and emptiness is nothing. Follow these same steps with anything and you are left with the same results: nothing, or just the illusion of many. These are the same steps taken on the 'spiritual path'; removing the layers of illusion one by one until there is nothing left, and in that nothingness is everything. 'One' is only a concept, a container to group and label many nothings in order to give the illusion of 'something'. We are One. We are the container, and not the illusion of 'something' inside that container we believe we are. I'll end my stoned ramblings here, before I hurt myself 
-------------------- 
The only reason why T-rex's can't walk backwards is because they're extinct, which perfectly explains why there are no headaches in the rainforest; The parrots eat 'em all. My Drawings
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PickleJam Friend Registered: 07/17/16 Posts: 142 Loc: walkin on sunshi Last seen: 7 years, 2 months |
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Dude
 Thanks for that, that was a really awesome way to clarify your pov and I'm really feeling you on that. Makes it easier to meet hate with love when you think about We are one. At least for me I know that love is natural, and hate has to be taught; The more love there is in this world, the more we love overall. You guys don't dissapoint, I knew I would learn a lot by posting this and waiting for some contrast Namaste yall 
-------------------- "We never lose our demons, we only learn to live above them."
DO NOT BE SHEEPLE GOD DAMN IT!!!!! CHANGE UP THE SYSTEM----> <----CAUSE THAT'S YOU
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graceful dragon omni-love  Registered: 04/20/15 Posts: 460 Loc: flight Last seen: 9 years, 20 days |
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This may be of help.
when the southern breeze blows of itself, you can put the fan aside. When intense love for God comes of itself, rituals like repetition of the name, and so on drop off. When you are mad with love for God, how can you perform rituals? I don’t want to become sugar, I want to taste it... Sri Ramakrishna Katha (words, etc of Sri Ramakrishna, or gospel of) Chapter Seven kleço ‘dhikataras teñäm avyaktäsaktacetasäm | avyaktä hi gatir duùkhaà dehavadbhir aväpyate || [It is more difficult for those whose minds are attached to the Unmanifest, because it is very hard for the embodied soul to reach the Unmanifest.] – Bhagavad Gita 12:5 The path of loving devotion to God is the law of this age – the path of knowledge is very difficult – ‘servant I,’ ‘I of a devotee,’ ‘I of a child’ Vijay (to Sri Ramakrishna): “Sir, you ask us to renounce the ‘rascal I.’ Is there any harm in the ‘servant I’?” Sri Ramakrishna: “One should have this ego – the ‘servant I.’ That is to say, ‘I am the servant of the Lord, I am His devotee.’ There’s no harm in that. Rather, it leads to God-realization.” Vijay: “Well, sir, what is the nature of the feelings of lust and anger of a man who has the ‘servant I?’” Sri Ramakrishna: “It is only the semblance of lust and anger in the man if he has the right feeling. If he retains the feeling of the ‘servant I’ or the ‘I of a devotee’ after having God-realization, he can do no harm to others. After a sword has touched the philosopher’s stone, it becomes gold; it has the semblance of a sword, but it can’t kill anybody. “The fronds of a coconut tree dry up and drop off, leaving only a mark [on the trunk]. One can make out from these marks that there were once palm fronds there. Similarly, the ego of one who has realized God only leaves a mark, only a semblance of lust and anger. He is then like a child. A child is not subject to the three gunas of sattva, rajas, and tamas. It takes the same amount of time for a child to give up something as it does for him to be attracted to it. “You can take a child’s piece of cloth worth five rupees by tempting him with a half-a-pice doll. He may first say firmly: ‘No, I won’t give it to you! My father bought it for me!’ But everything is the same to a child; there is nothing big or small to him. He has no feeling of caste. His mother says, ‘He is your elder brother.’ Then even if he is a carpenter [low caste], the child will sit with him and eat from the same plate. A child hates no one; he has no feeling of purity and impurity. He doesn’t bother to clean his hands with mud after relieving himself. “Even after attaining samadhi some people live with the ‘I of a devotee’ or the ‘I of a servant.’ The devotee retains the feeling of ‘I-ness’: ‘I am Your servant, You are my Master,’ ‘I am Your devotee, You are my Lord.’ Even after God-realization one retains this ‘I-ness.’ One’s ‘I-ness’ does not vanish completely. The practice of this feeling of ‘I-ness’ leads to God-realization. This is what is known as the path of devotion. “By following the path of devotion, one can attain the knowledge of Brahman, too. God is omnipotent. He can also impart the knowledge of Brahman to a follower of the path of devotion. But generally speaking, a devotee does not seek the knowledge of Brahman. He wishes to retain the ‘Iness’ of ‘I am Your servant, You are my Master,’ ‘I am Your child, You are my Mother.’” Vijay: “Will the people who reason according to Vedanta also attain Him?” Sri Ramakrishna: “Yes, He can also be attained by the path of reasoning and discrimination. This is known as Jnana Yoga. The path of reason is very difficult. I told you about the seven planes. When the mind reaches the seventh plane, one attains samadhi. On genuine realization that Brahman is real and the world illusory, the mind merges, and it experiences samadhi. But in the Kaliyuga, the life of a man depends on food. Then how can he understand that Brahman is real and the world illusory? Such awareness does not come without getting rid of body consciousness: ‘I am neither the body, nor the mind, nor the twenty-four cosmic principles.1 I am beyond pleasure and pain. How then can I have disease and sorrow, old age and death?’ Such a realization is difficult in this Kaliyuga. However much you may reason, the conviction that I am the body creeps in somehow and shows itself. You may cut down an ashwattha tree and think its roots are dead, but the very next morning you will see that a new sprout has appeared. The feeling of the body does not go away. Thus the path of devotion is a good and easy path in this age. “I don’t want to become sugar, I want to taste it. I never feel like saying, ‘I am Brahman.’ I say, ‘You are my Lord and I am Your servant.’ It is good to play between the fifth and sixth planes. After crossing the sixth plane, I have no desire to stay on the seventh plane for long. My desire is to sing His name and glories. The attitude of the Master and the servant is very good. Look, everybody says that the wave belongs to the Ganges, not the Ganges to the wave. The feeling ‘I am He’ is not good. If a person entertains such a feeling of ’I-ness’ but retains identification with his body, it will bring great harm to him – he won’t advance further. And because he cannot understand his own predicament, he deceives others as well as himself. He gradually goes down spiritually.” Two kinds of devotion – most eligible aspirant – means to God-realization “Devotion alone does not enable you to realize God. Unless you have intense love for God,1 you cannot attain Him. Passionate devotion2 is another name for intense love. Without intense love, you cannot realize God. Without loving God, you cannot attain Him. “There is another kind of devotion known as ritualistic devotion.3 You have to repeat the name of God a fixed number of times. Along with this, you must fast, go on pilgrimage, worship in a prescribed manner, make so many sacrifices, and so 1. Prema bhakti. 2. Raga bhakti. 3. Vaidhi bhakti. on. These are all part of ritualistic devotion. By practicing it you gradually gain raga, intense devotion. But God cannot be realized as long as you don’t have this intense love for Him. You must have love for Him. When your worldly way of thinking disappears completely and your mind goes to Him one hundred percent, only then do you attain God. “But some people acquire loving devotion naturally. They are born that way. Being perfect from childhood, they weep for God at an early age, as Prahlada wept for Vishnu. Ritualistic devotion is like moving a fan to make a breeze. You need a fan to create a breeze. You will eventually attain love for God by repetition of the name, austerity, fasting, and such practices. But when the southern breeze blows of itself, you can put the fan aside. When intense love1 for God comes of itself, rituals like repetition of the name, and so on drop off. When you are mad with love for God, how can you perform rituals? “As long as you haven’t acquired love for God, your devotion is unripe. When you have love for Him, your devotion is called ripe. “A person who has unripe devotion cannot internalize spiritual instructions or talk about God. It is only when the photographer’s glass is coated black with love for God, so to speak, that it catches an image and is retained. You may throw a thousand images on ordinary glass and not one of them will stay. As soon as the object is removed, the glass becomes the same as it was. You cannot internalize spiritual instruction unless you have developed love for God.” Vijay: “Sir, is love for God enough to attain Him, to have His vision?” Sri Ramakrishna: “Yes, you can see God through love alone – but it must be ripe, prema bhakti, or raga bhakti. Only after gaining that kind of love can you love God as the son loves his mother, or the mother loves her child, or the wife loves her husband. “When you have such love for God, you don’t feel the attraction of maya – for wife, children, or dear relatives. You only retain compassion for them. The world then appears to be a foreign land, a land of duty alone. It’s like having your home in a village and your place of work in Calcutta. You may have to live in a rented house in Calcutta for work. When you’ve gained love for God, you are completely rid of attachment to the world and of so-called worldly wisdom. “If there is just a trace of worldliness, you can’t see God. If a match-stick is wet, you may strike it a thousand times and it won’t ignite; you will only waste a pile of matches. The mind attached to the world is like a wet match stick. “When Srimati (Radha) said, ‘I see Krishna everywhere,’ her gopi friends1 said, ‘How? We can’t see him. Are you delirious?’ Srimati said, ‘Friend, apply the collyrium of love to your eyes and you will be able to see him.’ (To Vijay) A song of your Brahmo Samaj says: ‘O Lord, is it possible to know You without love, however much one may perform sacrifices, worship, and the rest?’ “If you but once acquire this love, this longing, this ripe devotion, you will see Him both with form and without form.” God-vision not possible without His grace Vijay: “How can one see God?” Sri Ramakrishna: “Not until the mind is purified. Attached to ‘lust and greed,’ the mind remains soiled, it remains covered with dirt. If a needle is covered with mud, a magnet can’t attract it. But when the mud and dirt are washed off, the magnet attracts. You can wash the dirt of the mind with the tears from your eyes. If you weep with tears of repentance, crying, ‘O Lord, I shall never do such a thing again!’ then this dirt is washed away and the magnet of God can attract the needle of the mind. You then go into samadhi and have the vision of God. “But though you try a thousand times, nothing is achieved without God’s grace. Without His grace, you cannot see Him. Is it easy to gain His grace? You have to get rid of your ego completely. When you have the feeling that you are the doer, you cannot see God. Suppose a man is in charge of the storeroom and somebody comes and says to the master of the house, ‘Sir, please give me some provisions from your storeroom.’ The master says, ‘There’s a man in the storeroom. I don’t have to go there.’ God doesn’t appear easily in the heart of the person who feels himself to be the doer. “Only after gaining God’s grace can you have His vision. He is the sun of knowledge. With just one of His rays, this whole world is illumined. That’s how we’re able to know one another and acquire different kinds of knowledge in the world. If God only once brings His light to His own face, we can see Him. A police sergeant goes around at night with a lantern in his hand. Nobody can see his face. But in this light he can see everybody else’s face, and others can see each other. “If you want to see the sergeant, you must ask, ‘Sir, be kind enough to turn the light on your own face so that I may see you.’ “You must pray to God, ‘Lord, be kind enough to turn the light of knowledge on Your own face so that I may see You.’ “If there is no light in a house, it means poverty. You must light the lamp of knowledge in the heart: ‘Lighting the lamp of knowledge in the house, behold the face of the all-blissful Mother.’” Vijay has brought medicine with him and wishes to take it now. The medicine has to be taken with water, so Thakur asks that some be brought. Thakur is a sea of motiveless grace. Vijay cannot afford a carriage or the boat fare to go to see Sri Ramakrishna, so now and then Thakur sends someone to bring him. This time he sent Balaram, who paid for the carriage in which Vijay accompanied him. In the evening Vijay, Nava Kumar, and others of Vijay’s companions go to Balaram’s boat. Balaram will take them to the Baghbazar ghat. M. takes the same boat. The boat reaches the Annapurna ghat in Bagbhazar. When they are close to Balaram’s residence in Baghbazar, the moon begins to cast a mellow light. Today is the fourth day of the bright fortnight. It is winter and a bit chilly. Pondering the nectar-like teachings of Sri Ramakrishna and carrying his blissful image in their hearts, Vijay, Balaram, M. and the others return home. -------------------- 
Yuki Kaai Dee D - Red Flight Boney M - Lady Godiva Raa Maa - Durga Gayatri Mantra Amanda Lear - Enigma (give a bit of hmm to me) the [un]official Tara Brach thread
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