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prozac über alles
Last seen: 9 years, 8 months
This is a trip report i once wrote about my first three mushroom experiences i know it doesn't belong here and it's ok if someone could move it to the reports section but i already had written it and copy pasting it to the reports section gave a lot of crap ... and it doesn't here I hope you'll read the whole story it's long as hell, anyway it's the most detailed way i probably could ever tell my trip experienes to anyone... and of course it still doesn't show a thing... i just hope you'll have a nice time reading it and commenting on it!! thx a lot !
>The first time me and b. used mushrooms together with t. we only had enough to use 0.7g of stropharia cubensis each, after we ate them nothing much happened but it made me feel real good, happy and energetic about it 'cause I was looking forward to it already quite a while. I mostly went like "Wow, cool" and was trying to observe what i saw etc. when walking past a mirror i saw some trails and there was some color enhanchment too (which was very cool with the blacklight) and i saw some (red) pixel like things floating in my visual field, sometimes when i went to sleep when i was younger i had this too. At some time there was something like a fog hanging around us.. well it all felt a little bit different but nothing much really) and at some time we all stood there laughing a little bit and making some jokes which was fun.
It was really nice although I didn't trip after all it felt like "yeh i can feel something else coming up..." but it didn't go further than these feelings. I remember walking home at night with b. looking at a little wooden stick I was burning...it was very cool to look at :) and i had a warm, nice feeling... I was looking forward to try them again some time...
>Our Second experience was with me, b., t. and d. we had like 10g of dried stropharia cubensis it was d.'s first time but we decided to go for it so we would have a worthwhile experience. I remember me and b. were planning to joke around a little bit when d. came to b.'s house... we had put some syringes, a spoon, a lighter and a belt on top of the table so when d. would come in we would say like ... yeh here's the stuff to use this evening, so when he came in his face saying like "what the hell....." :) hehe this provided us with a good laugh and we told him it was a joke and we were planning to make tea. We really were in the mood and looking forward to the evening.
That evening around 21.15 we made a tea by putting about 7g of the mushrooms in some hot water and keeping 3g to eat later on that evening.
After letting the mushrooms sit in hot water on a light fire for about 17 minutes we decided to drink the stuff (and eat the wet blobs>> which were off course highly discusting).. so we all ingested about 1.8g and went to t.'s house by bike to spend the evening. Once there we all started eating some more dry mushrooms, about 0.5g so all in all we had about 2.3g each and there was some more left...
After a while I began noticing some changes...when standing up I could feel myself going up and then something came into my body and settled there, and when I sat down again I felt myself again being filled with whatever it was. It seemed as if an energy swirled inside of me each time i moved (like suddenly standing up) this was a really cool feeling :)...so there me and b. were standing up, sitting down, standing up, sitting down... well yeah it was great!
Anyway we were talking about what we felt and stuff and I had putten on a cd with the doors' "the end" jimi hendrix' "machine gun" etc... while listening to "the end" i got really relaxed sitting in the couch and wanted to put all of my thoughts on the song and i got really relaxed (just like the others) and it sounded amazing, then suddenly I could see dunes from a desert or something being formed in the ceiling, it looked so soft and i told t. he had a big smile like "cool"...it all felt incredible and very warm, cosy and comfortable.
The feeling of being inside the cosy room grew and t. was saying that it would get a lot deeper still... but we were already tripping nicely...
After a while d. asked b. to pass the bottle of water that was standing next to his end of the couch and then me and t. were observing d. and b.'s converstation it's a long time ago but I think it went like this: d. said "B. can you give me some water", then b. looked very out of it, and me and t. were observing it... then d. asked the water again.. and we all kinda knew d. wanted the water but instead of giving it to d. we all kinda were looking to each other like... "hehe yeh the water" and then like "b. pass d. the bottle"... so instead of me or t. picking up the bottle and passing it to d. we were more going like "uhm yeh b. give d. the bottle...it's over there" so it went on like this for a couple of minutes without us really getting anywhere which was really cool :) like we didn't really react normally but more observing everything with big eyes... then when d. finally got the bottle it was like YEH right THAT's what was supposed to happen :)... only with a delay of maybe 5 minutes in which we kinda knew what was supposed to happen but we didn't really made it happen...
A while later T. said man we're tripping hard...
I wanted to write an sms and decided to go to my coat to take the cellphone and then I felt the coat being wet... i thought hey this can't be man and i let t. feel it.. and he said "No it isn't wet man heh".. then i felt again and yeh it was normal... a little later it was wet again :) i couln't really tell the difference... and it didn't matter, Typing the sms was very hard cause i couldn't concentrate on it but anyway I think after a whole while of trying and stuff I think i got something out of it which I thought sounded quite normal :)... it was very hard not to get distracted while trying to think "normal" i was typing the same words again and again... it was really hard to focus
D. didn't really think anything was really different and he ate the rest of the mushrooms he was going like "man i don't feel it" and we couldn't understand that he didn't feel it... but all of a sudden he was sailing of too :)
At the wall there was this cool poster of a demon and a brain in which some little "humans" were caught and yeh it really became "alive" , the little people moving etc...which was really cool, then the wall ... it was waving and breathing i was going like "WOWWWWW the wall man" ... then d. saw it too and it really was amazing it was so cool the way it moved... and breathed... so i looked at it for a while....
At some times i could feel myself "floating" a little above the couch ..At other times i felt as if i was sucked into the couch a little bit... it was a funny feeling...and everything began to be weirder and weirder...but still very "soft"
At a time we smoked a joint... it went like this: T. lit the joint and inhaled and began caughing like he forgot how to smoke :)...
then he passed it on to me and b. we took some tokes i know it felt very good and i sunk away into the couch... and i don't really remember what happened next...
Time passed i guess i don't really know for sure but i think we were already tripping for an hour or 2 and then things got really weird. At a time we all were talking and saying things to each other but it was all scrambled... like we all were trying to say something and lost track.Hearing the others trying to talk and explain themselves ended up in some kind of confused state, we all couldn't communicate anymore and all i heard (and the others too) were our voices rambling through each other. The conversation was something like we all threw pieces of a (our own) puzzle through each other's puzzle and so we couldn't make anything out of it anymore... and we knew this was the same feeling everyone had in some way. So there we lost track for a little while...it seemed like we all didn't really know what we were thinking or saying or trying to say or trying to think or even who's thoughts we were thinking or words we were saying.
You know it's so strange cause in a way you know what you wanna do and say, but if you try it it can be all scrambled and it can sound all screwed up like 1000 voices in your head...and then you go like "what the hell is this man... i wanna say something and i get this :) hehe WEIRRRRRD" this is so weird cause you kinda feel 'normal' but nothing is normal this is so strange and so real ... just amazing...
It seems like yourself is perfectly normal but EVERYTHING else is completely "weird" it doesn't feel like it's yourself that's the weird thing and that makes it so REAL. When you still "think" you can think and are normal... but if you do or say something it's all so strange and different and scrambled with all those voices like one big not understandable race of delayed words that all come at you at the same time etc... all these words through each other like all the words flow through you and you just hear it all at ones "too slow or too fast and it all becomes one nonsense...that doesn't even matter cause nothing matters" and you observe and go like "What the HELL is going on here man... this just can't be ...i must be dreaming :)" (maybe we smoked a joint just before this communication garbage.... i don't know when we smoked it ...)
But when we finally were coming to "senses" some more and we could communicate again (i think) it was like before only even stronger. Everything then felt like it was our little world and we were living here and we would stay here forever. The room looked very curved almost like a ball in which we were living...
The view of the world, the room and everything in it, was something with not really much dept...
The room (everything at this point, OUR world) looked (WAS) like some kind of sphere with the room being projected on it's inside and we were living inside this sphere (which felt so very natural and organic, yet also soft liquid plastic like...very strange and kind of freaky) we all were part of it too and it had the typical magical glow to it... (well you know i guess, like you're in santa's (magical) workshop or something =) with the feeling you got when you were still a kid when watching fantasy movies where you get that magical feeling) It all felt so familiar and warm, but it was overwhelming too... It was OUR world... no one elses.Like when you build a treehouse with some friends and it only your "world" in there... it was a similar feeling...
The room had some kind of plastic toy like surface... glowing. It looked so SOFT but also very INTENSE.
I believe it was now when we all got childlike and we put our heads together and our arms around eachother and started humping up and down a little out of excitement. Then someone said "Everything doesn't make sense anymore" (in dutch) and then we all were going like "HAHAHAHA nothing makes sense anymore" "sense hahaha" so basicly we were laughing cause of that word "sense" i don't really know why but we just did :) (it was kinda of insane ... like we REALLY didn't have a clue anymore of being "normal" i felt like i didn't have a good grip on it all and it didn't matter, it just was the way it was and i didn't even remember the normal "world")
It really was exciting but also a little bit scary at the same time (or better >> SO real that it was kinda creepy) inside i knew it were the mushrooms but I was convinced there was something much more magical happening than I'd ever could have imagined (this caused the "scary" feeling too... but it was so magical that it all was very good for me and i liked it).
After a while d. turned more into himself holding the water bottle (It felt like he was a little bit like a child with it's little toy (the bottle) and he just sat there in the couch (before this i believe it was more like d. being filled with childlike fascination and joy>>and at moments this was a little bit scary ... it was as if everything turned out to be childlike, and i knew we were acting strange...oh well)
Basicly we were transformed into a childlike state and it was very different than anything else... wonderfull and scary>>> a little... i even wanted to dance at a moment like a kid would my body felt so kid like small :)
ESPECIALLY seeing my normal buddys in this state was confusing... it really seemed like DAMN this is SO insane... like we'd all went a little bit mad. We acted strange... and so it looked to me.I really didn't understand it :)
First I was sitting in the couch now I was sitting on the west end of the little bed (t. was on this too)and when I looked up the cupboard it seemd to be so high or something and t. looked like he was an elf with those typical elf-like ears and freaky eyes, he had this big head and a small childlike body this was weird... like we were in a magical land, cave or forest ...And we were
- table-- -
--------- --------- -
- -cupboard- -
- --------- -
- --------------- -
w- ------bed------ -e
- --------------- -
- --------------- -
- ------Couch---- -
- --------------- -
When I changed places from the couch(while facing the n wall) to the bed (and now facing the s wall) everything got another perspective when I was on the couch and it seemed as if everything was normal but when I changed to the bed everything in the room seemed to be much further away from the s wall then ever... strange...
A little later I noticed t. looking a little bit worried (possibly cause his father knocked at the door a while ago to say he was back home from work, and t. answered "ok, bye"...or something maybe t. didn't really know if he handled the situation very good etc...)and I thought ...damn maybe he doesn't feel too good and I decided to talk to him, he told me he didn't feel too good and asked me if everything was alright and if he should be worried (or something like this), I told him it was alright and that there was nothing to be worried about
(i read a lot about talking to someone when someone feels bad to change the mood so that's why I talked to t.) T. agreed and said ok...
When i was talking to t. b. asked what was wrong and i told him and then b. went like "Oh no everything is ok really t. everything is good" but I could see he didn't really know what he was talking about ... and I guess t. noticed this too and got scared some more when seeing how much b. lost touch with "real life"... at this time I knew whatever would happen i would be kind off on my own with t. ...
d. was still sitting there and asked for some music and then I changed the cd (which was very hard trying to figure out how the hell a cd player works) then t. said "sssh quite" and we had to be very quite and stuff even though we could have the music up to 20 they wouldn't hear us t. said it was too loud even when the music was turned down to about 5... just cause t. could hear it he thought then probably my parents can hear it, and they will have heard everything we said ... and they'll know it about the mushrooms etc....
Then t. said, I want out of this...this scared me off course and i got a cold feeling... when i held t.'s hands it felt like he was very cold and his hand were sweaty and rubbery... it felt really strange... when t. said i want it to stop i began feeling like it couldn't stop... cause it just couldn't... we'd poisoned ourselves while playing in the fairytale wood... this is the feeling i got.. it sucked... i really thought we shouldn't have eaten the mushrooms and i felt like there were other people who'd gone here before and that they too were in a state of "insanity" and poisoning, i really felt as if we were in ancient times, times of witchcraft and potions and all that freaky fairytale stuff became real...this was a fairytale nightmare for REAL...i couldn't believe what i felt and even less could i have imagined this and hour before.. although i didn't do stupid things while intoxicated it felt as if it was a real strong "poisoning" and we were all insane due to it.. this was REALLY freaky and i felt sweaty and cold and insane in a way... everything was abnormal although i knew it couldn't be really bad... but this didn't matter...i felt the fear and insanity of a child who'd been around playing in a forest picking poisonous mushrooms and ingesting them... we were those kids... we'd gone insane and i was insane for those moments i thought about it...i was trapped in these thoughts and feelings and it became EVERYTHING for a few minutes this was so intense... i could have laughed if i wanted cause .. i was insane ... i could have laughed histerically, like a madman...maybe i did...i don't really remember... when i think about these moments it gives me the creeps again... I also remember that i could observe us from the outside ... i saw myself going insane... this was freaky... like one part of my brain (or the world) had gone mad and the other part could observe this and analyse how fucking insane this shit was and that we shouldn't have eaten the mushrooms that we just were punished... the sane part got scared of it's other part... so i basicly got scared of myself...i got scared of the state(s) i got into...and the even more the states the others got into...it also felt as if my body was sick and discusting... trying to get rid of the poison... it scared me the way i felt.. i felt i was trapped with an insane part of my mind and a sick poisoned body...and god did it feel discusting, it was like a rubberlike sweaty sick blob that was my body... i should have let go of these feelings... but it didn't know better... and ofcourse fear feeds on itself...
I was thinking like this: Well there are people who eat the wrong kinds of mushrooms and die ... but those people don't go out eating mushrooms they think are poisonous ... so you kinda NEVER know when you've done something deadly... and i thought ...well this time we're those people.. i thought "this" can't be cause of "normal" mushrooms so WE are the guys who did the deadly stuff this time...
I could almost feel the poison and obeserved myself going more nuts and i really thought we'd been the suckers who'd be in the newspaper the next day... and damn did it suck...
Man you really can feel like you've gone insane cause of poisoning... and those feelings have a quality like when your dreaming...but then in real life... it felt like i was caught in a nightmare but i knew i was awake... it was the hardest time.. cause this was the first time i ever felt such a fear... and it was the first time i had felt fear while tripping... and that fear ... is so strong... unbelievable ...
Well anyway i more or less remained calm and didn't go around screaming we were insane... i just thought ok...what the hell now and i tried my best to calm t. ... i just had a feeling of DAMN this is going completely wrong... but finally i kind of got a hold of myself again and i wasn't exactly happy t. was still scared etc. but it wasn't like i was insane anymore... thank god for that !
I thought a while about how to calm him down and I said well maybe we should go out for some fresh air... then t. said "how do i get out". DAMN, that's was right, how the hell do we get out of here...our little world (It was everything you know... and to leave everything is kinda hard) I didn't knew this either... but soon I realized you just have to open the door :) so a little later t. went outside... and I went with him ... outside the room (our world) there was a white light shining and the feeling I had changed, in the room I didn't really feel it would ever change back to how it was before but once out of it "our world" was broken in a way...and outside we had a lot more connection to reality and I had a lot more control...although not everything was already back in it's old place by this time i was more or less in control. I knew I couldn't get much help from b. or d. cause they were too confused to really know what was happening and they were still much more in the tripping reality i guess. After a while b. came ouside too and he didn't really knew what was happening but he went with us... d. didn't feel like coming with us. We walked a while through a street and t. was saying things like "Man what have we done, it was so stupid, i'm never touching all that shit again","my parents have heard us and tomorrow we'll hear it man.. damn we fucked up, why are we so stupid to have done this" t. talked about weed too that he's stop smoking after this etc...
What t. said made me feel really bad about what we had done too, t. was saying his mother had heard us talking and she knew we used mushrooms and stuff... this was freaky and b. freaked out... i just felt REALLY guilty ... but b. began to panick and b. suddenly screamed "I WANT IT TO STOP MAN"...
Then we returned to t.'s home and i just relaxed in my faith in a way...although i felt bad about it... I didn't really make a fuss about it..we did it wrong and we'd get the consequences of our actions (And yeh this feeling SUCKED) but what could I do, I just accepted our fate that the following day we'd get to hear it. And i was saying to myself.. well even if it's like this they'll probably forgive us a, little later on I realized again we'd done it this time, but our parents will forgive us and take care of us (cause we'd probably go to a nut house when they'd find out) and i was thinking that everyone who would take care of us in the nut house would be good for us etc...all kinds of silly thoughts again.
Of course all t.'s fear wasn't based on things that really happened (Like his mother hearing everything etc.)... everything he said was believed and experienced very intensely by me and b. ... and I truly was gone with the idea of our parents knowing what we had done etc...
A while later t. asked us to leave so he could figure it out himself and so me, d. and b. left... B. was still kinda freaked out but all these bad feeling were gone quite quickly after we'd left (although i was still worried about t.) I wanted to go back to b.'s to get some sleep but b. was still scared to go home and so we stayed out on the streets a while... we were sitting there on the middle of a road (in the middle of the night and there weren't any cars so it didn't matter) when suddenly we could swear there was someone standing there watching us... this was scary but while running away from it it was funny too :) ... then we saw a grassland (cow place or whatever it's called) and i don't know why but we thought we would be safe if we'd go there and while walking further there i realized what we were doing was crazy so we just got back on the road and we'd be perfectly safe there too. A while later b. saw a cat, i looked and i didn't c a cat only a white plant but right away i looked back and there was a cat, when i looked better i saw it was just a plant and i pulled it out and threw it away to comfort b. :) ... B. told us not to use our bikes cause it would be too dangerous (although i was REALLY sure i was back enough to drive safely) but anyway we walked around with our bike by hand :) that must have been a funny feeling.
Anyway we stood outside talking about how everything became more and more normal again... it was a super strange feeling, bit by bit everything from the normal reality seem to break through again and it felt great too it was too crazy to be true so it seemed and i was blown away that suddenly i realized normal things again... the dreamtrip faded away bit by bit, and it felt as is the world was never so fresh as now ... later we went to b.'s and got some sleep (but i was so exited about what we'd axperienced that i kept talking about it :)
Anyway it was such an experience... but it was a shame that t. got bad and he sucked us into those bad vibes too, when looking back it's easy to say : Man we shouldn't have thought bad when t. said those things ... but you get so into everything that surrounds you and what happens that it's normal to drift away in fantasy and everything that's being said...
All in all it was a GREAAAAAAT trip... i wouldn't trade it for anything, after this I "knew" what tripping was... and i knew it's all in your head...
Even though I'd exeprienced some negative feelings at the end of the trip cause of t. going bad... i don't really regret it cause i learnt so much ... and I had a GREAT time mostly so all in all it was Everything i could have wanted out of a trip...
Although it's a shame that t.'s bad vibes turned the end of the trip into a little nightmare...i wonder how i would have felt if this wouldn't have happend... oh well... i learned how powerful the mushrooms are and I knew i'd trip again after a while... this was by far the most bizarre experience I couldn't even have imagined in a dream... so real ... so magical... so undescribable... so overwhelming ...so warm...so cold...so happy ...so one...so scared... so everything and nothing... what an experience...
*Me (Male 19y 58Kg 1.74m) and my friend B. (Male 19y 1.91m about 73Kg i guess )
*A Total of 7.2 g of Stropharia Cubensis Of which we used about 6.4g ... strain: Super-Mex
Here we are again... :) ...
(We smoked a (nicely filled) joint (white widow <<< very nice) together at 15.00)
The evening before we took the mushrooms B. was with some other friends who were tripping on the mushrooms
we bought at the same time from the same shop as those me and b. would be using the following evening.
During their trip (B. staying clean "guiding" some of the first timers) we phoned now and then cause
i was curious if the shrooms were potent and how the guys were feeling during their trip.
B. told everything went ok, smooth and unbelievably quite and non-hectic even for some of the first
time shroomers (most of them taking no more than 1.5g). Yeah I was thinking "ok they probably don't feel
TOO overwhelmed cause of the dose" but anyway I was beginning to fear the mushrooms were not as potent as I had
hoped them to be and my plans of getting deeper than the times before were not going to happen.
Since me and B. were planning on taking a lot more and going further than our times before i thought
that with the "seemingly" not so potent mushrooms I was afraid that
we wouldn't pass the dept of our time before when we used about 2.3g (witch was quite overwhelming too exctually).
But about 24 hours later my fear was proven to be wrong...
Me and B. were waiting for the B's parents to go to bed so that our plan of making some magic tea could be
FINALLY executed. So we made our tea at 00.30 out of ~5.7g of our *fine* :) mushrooms and 2 cups of water
each keeping some dry ones for eating after drinking the tea and eating those discusting wet, half-cold,
slimy cooked "things". After letting the mushrooms simmer on a fire for about 18 minutes we thought
the time was right to drink the magical fluid and eat the magical slimy things (we didn't wanna spoil anything :)
While eating the blobs i gagged at one time cause a shroom was SO discusting it may even have tasted groser than
our weed-"milk-butter"/space-egg comination we once tried.
Anyway the tea was down and the slime blobs too although i left one on which i had already chewed but no...
i had enough and left it. On to the dry ones, we said, and each took one, toasted and began consuming them.
Again gross things i think i ate about 0.4g of dry shrooms and then i really had enough of their gross taste
all in all leaving about 0.5g to rest the time was about 01.00.
There we were sitting comfortably with all our hoped for expectations watching a bit T.V. and having a joint
ready for when we would want a smoke. At 01.15 i started feeling something (besides a slight nauseaus feeling)
yeah i definitley felt a change coming up...
and before we knew it we were already there, i think at 01.30 we were really getting a lot deeper. I noticed myself being
anxious for more and nervously moving my legs and feet.I was becomming very nervous and i was shivering and tense.
I started yawning although i wasn't tired and (i don't remember if it
was now or some time later but) still i had a lot of shivers and a little bit of a cold sweaty feeling, i really was trembling
a huge lot ... my teeth too... well like when you're cold... anyway it felt quite UNrelaxed and tense.
Then I saw the the slight color differences in the wooden ceiling to be more contrasted (afterwards they were more like
separate layers floating, swiming through the "sea" that was the ceiling) and i noticed how the drappings before the
windows were beginning to "live" by softly moving and patterning and becoming very nice to look at...they were filled with
some kind of strange energy. There was a vibration in the air in the surroundings, the room
and everything in it ... that someting in the air Ya can't really put your finger on it ...those strange changes...
and these effects kept getting deeper, richer and more profound and then we
really were "there" ... in our little world, the mushroom reality.The feeling of our world, our state of enlightened
mind, in which only me and b. were present was there.I was blown away cause it was so VERY real ... and it was so
NOTICEABLY there... the sense of the strange mushroom world was there very strongly.The room was really magical and i began to get more relaxed...
I saw b. making strange faces... i asked myself... and b. if he was alright... it looked so strange ... sometimes he was
with his fingers in his mouth "pulling" his lips away or rubbing his face and everything ... it looked strange but there was nothing
wrong he said. Sometimes when we were talking b.'s "talk" suddenly went like some kind of spastic noise... as if he couldn't
get it said ...stuttering and "choking" on words and saliva therefore making all these freaky noises ... sometimes i
thought he was getting spasms or something .. but we talked afterwards about it ... he remembered and said it was just a spontaneous reaction of joy ... it just came out ...it just was part of "it"
Although it was weird to say the least during our trip i "knew" it was nothing bad.
I don't really know what it was but it looked FUCKIN freaky ... B. was acting completely insane stuttering and giggling and sputtering etc... it freaked me out ...
I felt as like being small like a child and we were both child like, small and joyfull in that world. I felt kind of like time had stopped in a way... like time had slown down and only NOW
we could explore this reality... and see our normal world.. vibrating, alive and all that... as if someone or something had
said STOP to the time... so we could "travel" to this amazing world...of energy, and vibrations and magic.. everything was all too clear at this point i really remember me sitting there "feeling" i still was in control...
I remember how we were still in touch with reality describing our feelings and sights closly yeah i was glad
to feel everything went smooth (the mild nauseaus feeling was already gone and i didn't really feel my body anymore as a burden). I was really happy and felt very comfortable.
Althought i (as before) experienced the mushroom trip as mysterious on itself, sometimes even frightingly different from "normal" reality... i still had a feeling of undiscovered dept and so much potential of which i was later to experience...
At sometime early me and b. stood up and b. looked much bigger..well i mean taller... (the trip before this one i felt this too... like myself being more childlike "big" ... and the head of others being big... but the bodies childlike...) i felt funny ... and it was
as though we were little children and i felt i was filled with a joy and playlust like only children posses...i had a strong urge
to act like a child and wiggle or do childstuff and i had a huge smile (the trip before we even held on to each other and started jumping
up and down of our places laughing and feeling very silly/funny like kids:)
Sitting back on the couch felt like sitting really cosy and close to the ground as if the couch too had changed height...
so there were some impressive distortions of size wich i find a very nice but strange effect... it seems SO real... cause then it is reality ...
The very strange things are when all sizes and hights and lengths ... get a totaly different feel to them...
(in a later trip with 1.5g i experiences this too.. especially on the way back... i SAW all things kind of "normal" i mean not really moving...but they felt SO strange... i really asked myself... damn this looks so strange... or "is this really this big"....or small...
When i went to the bathroom i stood their peeing... the toilet seemed so strange...i thought something like it's far away... when i suddenly saw that it was not smaller but felt smaller..it seemed even further away... this repeated itsself ...and then the toilet seemed to have a feeling of "sinking" again even deeper...well i didn't SEE it shrinking or anything....but it felt again even further away...
then i had something of man i'm getting out of here... so i did... this was kinda fucking strange man...)
When i looked at the clock hanging on the wall i wanted to know what time it was but eventually i had to admit that it really
didn't make any sense to me anymore... time became some known word to me ... nothing more... not that it matter the clock looked
cool i knew i was looking at the clock but i couldn't even see it ...it was completely distorted ..
Unlike the previous trip the visuals know were much heavier and not as clear it was much more distorted!!...
During the trip I didn't see the walls "breathing" like i did the time before... but the visuals i had were more textured ...
Like a candle had a texture on it ... and was kind of hazy too ... and it was there more times like seeing it dubble or something...
At sometime i saw the cupboard with books on it ... wich became very long... like an endlessly long shelf with books on it...
Me and b. also at one time stood there looking at a mirror with elvis' face on it DAMN it felt WEIIIIIIRD i don't really remember things got TOO well... i can't really describe it...
At some moment i was rubbing my finger around my mouth and felt gooish things suddenly realizing i was or better i felt like
a chewing gum made me go "HEY MAN I'M A CHEWING GUM... THIS IS COOL" but this feeling was lost quickly
Another moment i remember was me standing up walking a meter or so... overcome by the wonder of WALKING... i could WALK it felt
so new so special... it was quite an experience and i was struck by the wonder of it all... it felt so beautiful to move through
this "space" ... admiring every second of it with child like fascination.
When i sat back in the couch everything still felt so good ... the feeling of intense wellbeing was very strong... and i
repeaditly said "everything is good" the "space" was also mysterious and had a warm feeling i felt safe although the mysteries
I remember the environment becoming a whole ... me being a part of it being VERY connected to B. (even though i don't think we talked anymore) and the room... like everything
was one thing... it felt like this space was the universe like i was in touch with it all... me and b. had one consciousness... that
was again connected to everything... at times i truly thought we were seeing everything...having a telepathic link to each other and earth, universe, time...we were knowing the story of the universe and time..i had a feeling of knowing all that had been before being very familiar with the past and the whole of everything.. as if we ruled it all ...and comprehended all those things having complete understanding of everything you normally totally impossibly don't!
At a moment b. was hanging halfly out of the couch ... a moment after (or before) sitting on the ground asking me were he was...
I was quite calm but noticed B. being more concerned worrying a bit ... i said something like "hey B. everything is ok ...
everything is great ... it can't go wrong... it's all so positive"... that was the way i felt too... everything was
beautiful and special ... for that moment b. was calmed again... but a short ? while later being again worried if everything was ok
asking me again if everything was ok and that our parents shouldn't need to worry about anything ... and i said something like
"no they don't need to worry... everything is great ... there is absolutely nothing wrong"...
these conversations were repeated a couple of times... after a while i only "could" say B. name... going like "B. B. ...... B." like as
if i felt i tried to sooth him a bit with keeping touch with him so he knew i was there... he told me it was good......good....
if i said B...... it made him come back realizing he was ok....making him feel better...
(Even nowadays when i say b.'s name in that way it gives b. the creeps :)
Anyway the trip was starting to go deeper... and deeper... i really don't know lot's of things anymore most of it being shreds of
hard to describe feelings and all memories i have are somewhat unclear..
Then seeing b. rubbing his face.... his hands in his mouth feeling if his body was still there.. i felt at my face too ... i rubbed
it ... rubbing through my hair...
I heard B. say something about throwing up ... and i think i began to go into that thought ... like it kept entering my mind
again and again... i was caught in a constantly repeating feeling of "throwing up"... asking myself..."am i puke"... "am i puking"..
"am i lying in puke"..."what is puking"... "my whole life was puking"... "maybe i'm puking and everybody (mom dad girlfriend) are helping me out of this"...and also all these feelings and thought swirling through each other ... very confusingly...
al those feelings... i couldn't answer ... but then a moment later again ... i could... then they started all over again...
These strange feelings made me go deep... i curled up on my side in the couch loosing almost complete touch with the room... only
noticing some "snapshots" of the room from time to time... with the television as a very important "entity"... the weather reports that were constantly repeated...
they seemed like an eternity ... being swirled around feelings... it was like i was caught i a loop of thought...between
"asking myself all the strange questions... then being very attached to the constantly and seemingly forever there weather report... and
trying to find answers.... witch i couldn't ... and when i kind of made my mind clear... i was starting again from zero..."
I also had a feeling of looking at all the above things from different shifting perpectives... (sorry but i can't really describe it
in words... let alone understand/remeber it all myself it just was like it was ... some things are just "impossible" to describe... but i think anyone who has tripped can relate to this more or less...)
Sometimes i "noticed" i can't really say saw... but inotices b. sometimes being melted together... sometimes there was an arm of which i couldn't tell it was mine or b. ...or just and arm :).. this all was a very "confusing" part of the trip being TOTALLY COMPLETELY out of touch with reality..(I don't Really know if i had my eyes closed... it didn't matter.. as if i could look through my eyelids...as if they didn't exist..) while tripping deeply into myself...The stage of being in endless loops of thinking .... endless and endless... not knowing why ... not caring why .. just being in these loops...(automatically) trying to find a way out i guess... all these things when i looked back at what i can remeber of those loops... they seemed complete nonsense... or better unnecesary.... but just some things engulf you totally.. and there was nothing i could do... other then wait.. undergo it .. and just "be"...
The best way to explain these loops or tunnels of thoughts is to compare them with being in a trance witch feels like a dream or for the loops i'd say nightmare
I find when you have a nightmare... it's often just about 1 thing you're dreaming about and again often unexplainable why about THAT specific thing.. a nightmare has a very uncomfortable feeling to it, you don't really relate to normal things in life and often it's very very overwhelming, scary ... as if you'll never gonna be out of it again...as if the feelings you're then experiencing are everything...and it's always been like those feelings AND you're mind can't say STOP to them...cause the only thing that exist are those thoughts... but the feelings just happen..i think you can't really describe a nightmare story but everyone has one and they too are mysterious, strange... repeating itself!!... but suddenly you wake up... or for while i was under mushrooms the bad trance and the "ugly" feelings are suddenly gone... you're mind leaves them alone.. and the bad vibe was gone for me..
During all these feelings of which most were VERY overwhelming i didn't "know" anything anymore... but still i was quite calm...
i was COMPLETELY absorbed into repeating thoughts NOTHING else mattered...
although the feelings being kind of VERY unpleasant, very deep and ever-repeating i wasn't panicking .... i felt like i had
just need to find a way out "there" , but then again asking myself ... a way out ... why ... what would come would come so it seemed,
but it seemed i couln't ... but i still knew the golden rule "DON'T PANICK" even though i could have been going through things like dying, puking, realizing everything was puke and being trapped (nothing made sence then)... i wouldn't come out of this state for a long time (i guess i really can't tell how long this lasted...maybe 3minutes..or 15 minutes..maybe an hour) ... being trapped in there... anyway the Golden rule helped... cause i felt more like "THIS looks and feels bad... but anyway..." It was also as if people.. like my parents or girlfriend were there in a way ... calming me saying everything would be alright ... i felt them... that calmed me the most... there wasn't really a way of thinking normally at those times ... so i didn't really convinced myself that it would stop... BUT off course all of a sudden i was freed
Suddenly b. whom i had totally seem to be "forgotten" cause i was so overwhelmed by my own feelings turned of the T.V. ...this seemed HOURS later... it made everything!!!! different again...UNBELIEVABLE i was released from the "trap" and i think all the trapped feelings began to "escape" my mind... maybe moments later all of it was gone.... very intersting to think about ... as if one can go so so sooooo deep into thoughts and going deeper till it becomes EVERYTHING and then minutes, hours, years later being ripped out of it by something else... like turing of a T.V. ...
During the trip (i don't know when anymore but possibly during the peek) i sometimes looked at the clock once i felt like "being" time
Well i don't really understand myself when i write it now... but it just felt like it...
Something similar happend while thinking of a word too describe the experiencing for possibly writing it down on the noteblock we
had taken to make cool notes... anyway the word i found wasn't a word anymore it was like i became the meaning of the word... feeling like
that word... yeh strange stuff... cool anyway, very curious...
Some other things i remember : * At a time i was writing on a notebloc... and i became the sheet of paper... melted with it etc...
* Some kind of whisteling noise ?
The coming home:
Coming home appeared suddenly ... in flashes ... one moment tripping (feeling in touch with everything, the trip) the other moment looking
at what had been our space our everything for that evening and noticing it was just the living room in which i haven't been
for a while. It was like "hey there's the living room" ... not really having a feeling i'd been "there" the whole night ...
it had taken on a whole new feel and meaning during the trip... as if then the living room had become everything ...
being in touch with us being alive.
We were one with everything ...the room, that space... that feeling... the mystery, the mushroom, the universe and everything...everyone but now we were back ... in the good old living room... quit and peaceful... like it always was...
The actual coming home was rather confusing and just happened... before coming home i was really quit and VERY introspective (the loop)... me and b. didn't comunicate for a while... possibly the only thing i heard sometimes was my name.. and i think i just said "yes"... so b. knew that i was still there... All of a sudden i stood in the kitchen, standing there in the kitchen... not remembering why i was there, how i got there or how long i had been there and still having confusing introspective images and feelings inside of me i felt confused... i
was getting in touch with reality again in flashes... i didn't know where b. was or anything... nor do i remember more of it....
Another thing that i remember was me and b. already more or less BACK to reality ...going to b.'s brother's room waking him (i guess around 06.30)... we were totally confused
and checking reality.... i don't know why we went to his brother... i guess to make connection with everything in normal reality....
B. also called another friend ... still being confused with all of it b. told about what happened but hung up all of a sudden... the friend described the phonecall later as:
"VERY weird indeed :)" well what do you expect from a newly born individual... trying to find his place and becoming a little more familiar with things.
I was feeling out of the trip, feeling detatched from the trip feeling "helpless" "naked" in a way. Being without a feel for the things you normally are so familiar with...still being detached from reality and familiar feelings and things ... althoug recognizing everything as though i'd would have been a normal day...i was waiting for my normal mind to come back to me... feeling as if the touch with normal reality was ready to start life again... as if everything like our minds, our feel to reality was empty although being back home in the normal world.
Moments later we talked about the trip saying things that seemed SOOOO far away and so deep and mysterious ... but only happened a short while ago... i remember being struck by the intensity and dept of what had been during the trip... failing to speak ..it was TOO much for words.. and there was so much to tell...but nothing got out for the first few moments i heard b. talk about what we felt...
As our conversation progressed we were giving definition to everything we'd experienced.. then b. said hey man i'm exactly you now..then we
were talking to each other how we'd been each other for all our lives... like we only noticed it now.. after all these years.. we were
each other.. this was just talking and feeling it wasn't really tripping anymore but it seemed so possible...these feelings were so charesteristic right after the trip. Everything was new in a way... while still
feeling alientated from what i normaly know so well strange thoughts appeared .... and i had a feeling of being here and experiencing
reality in a new way... looking from a different angle to everything what was so normal to me only a few ours before.. like everything had a new, refreshed feel to it...and the trip seemed to have been a magical ritual i already was preparing for for a long time in advance... to only know experience again why... it made me apreciate my girlfriend SOOO deeply ... everything was so peaceful... man what a night
An intense after experience (a month or so later):
this is about a flashback me and b. had about a month after our trip...
The two of us now being very occasional pot smokers ... using it only once in a while (I don't smoke pot anymore (normally)) but anyway... we
looked forward to spending a nice evening with alcohol and pot... so when i arrived at b.'s i RErolled a joint (the one of our trip before actually ... we didn't smoke it then cause we "forgot" about it) Because b. had put it in his troursers at a time while tripping and it
was completely screwed up... when it "ready" we went shopping (for our beer) ... and we smoked it while walking to the store...
In the store we had a nice feeling ... somewhat mildly confused... yep it does affect the short term memory a bit.. but that's nice too :)
We chose the CHEAP beer instead of our normal beer... not only because it was a lot cheaper but also because it had a little higher %
of alcohol in it like 5% or something... oh yes combining beer (anything alcoholic) and pot can be VERY nice :) that's why we chose this combo witch is always a nice way to get relax, have a good time and guarantees a VERY nice sleep :)... nah just haveing some fun
Anyway while walking back home we smoked some more... then when arriving home b. and me were getting really more confused forgetting things
we wanted to say... and i noticed at a time how b. said something we talked about before in rapid order then resuming our conversation, and i asked why did you say that ??! and he didn't really know he said anything like that...
Being inside b's mom was there and b. was acting normal but failed a little bit... maybe only in our imagination... cause he seemed to OVERact in being sober... so we went to b's room there we sat down... and talking about the confusion we felt (not really more then times before after smoking some pot) while explaining to each other suddenly we were found to be just talking and talking and explaining and explaining to each other... like starting to talk then stopping ...trying to explain it different.. stopping again... again trying to explain it in another way... but only getting some word out of our minds... suddenly i looked at B. and b. looked at me with the same expresion on his face... "That was that again"...
We were tripping.... for what might have been only 20 seconds.... then quickly realising it ... I was astonished by it ... my heart was beating fast cause it was so unexpected and i didn't know why the hell we had just tripped for a VERY short while... when we talked further
there was still a seemingly VERY easy to reach "DOOR" to go to and start getting in a state of tripping again.. cause while explaining the sudden rush we both felt we could VERY easily get back into a tripping way to look at things... i mean...thinking about things AND feeling things...Seeing through things like you only can while tripping i had NO visual experiences at all... only the state of mind.
The real flashback peaked 2 times... one time very very strongly...
It's like when you're explaining how you feel suddenly stops to experience you are just explaining what you feel, and then again start expleining it etc... then you can get this weird tripping memory in my opinion... :)
Then for about the following 70 minutes we could really think about life in a trippy way.. of looking to things from both sides... if you know what i mean... well like : Life is trip of which people are unaware and tripping is coming back to reality... so life is just a controlled trip in which automatons with a narrow way of looking to it all just function...
While in this nice state of mind we watched the movie fear and loathing in las vegas... i saw it 2 times before and it was a really cool movie... but THIS TIME... EVERY little thing in the movie was SOOOOO familiar that movie is SO very very IT... it's THE movie that's has everything of a trip in it.. i was so related to the depp and "gonzo" and the way they experienced their reality ... it's a movie with an unseen dept when being sober but it explains the feelings of a trip in every way possible ... that's my opinion...but then again while being trippy ... everything explains what tripping is...you just don't c it when sober...
In short... we had a flash back ... it was not like we thought we were tripping... or it wasn't "we felt like we may be trippin" NO it WAS indeed a FLASH and a unmistakable TRIP... and it was SHORT as hell... and it caught me by suprise...it was just an intense memory that brought me back into a tripping state of mind for a few moments... it wasn't visual... only tripping in thoughts... yes it's through what they say... Doors are opened that will NEVER be closed again... and i learned a little thing :
RELAX... you'll feel what you'll make of it... DON'T be scared... DON'T resist... just go with everything... merge... and anjoy... DON'T try to think too much... don't try to GO BACK TO REALITY... cause you can't... and then your in shit... just relax... and you'll learn so much... of the amazing mysterious "things" of life... death , time (hahaha what time?? :) and everything ...
Last seen: 5 months, 4 days
very good description of your trips, many things you said reminded me A LOT of my trips, almost giving me the feelings I got (though on acid, not shrooms) many times my friend would say Let me see the lighter and i'd go through one pocket which felt HUGE and endless, then I'd laugh and keep talking and he'd be like Can I have the lighter, dude? and i would say OK and go through the same pocket and say I don't have it dude and he'd say Yes you do, don't make me go in your fuckin pockets, then minutes later I'd find it and laugh ... this was from one of my trips (kinda related to the water-bottle incident you described) and as to the wet jacket, things that aren't plausible seem very plausible, and even if you know that it hasn't rained in a while and that the jacket hasn't been wet, it still somehow seems very wet, yet you wonder why ... or when you are trying to turn on a cd player to listen to music and you get frustrated because you think that you shouldn't have to search for the button to turn it on and that it would somehow turn itself on (at least this has happened to me) ... I tried putting in a hendrix cd and then i couldn't find the PLAY button (which is a big button yet i couldnt find it hah) and I gave up and figured the cd would somehow turn itself on ((and i truly believed this)) and my friend was like I thought you were turning on the cd player ... and i said Yah but I think it'll turn itself on on it's own ... my friend gave me the STUPIDEST look which just said "What the FUCK are you talking about?" yet i couldnt help my stupidity lol I actually find it fun but at times frustrating and at times it just pisses off my friend
prozac über alles
Last seen: 9 years, 8 months
Hehe, yeah sometimes it just gets too difficult to do the simplest things and you can try and try and try but it get's you nowhere things can be funny but frustrating too just like you say especially when someones ask you something and you just can't. Even though you know things just can't be ... they sometimes seem to be... and you just can't believe it it's all very strange huh !!
Last seen: 20 years, 7 months
Wow...that's one of the most honest, detailed (how the fuck did you remember all that?!) and accurately described (as far as you can be) trip reports I've read...thanks justthiz
prozac über alles
Last seen: 9 years, 8 months
Thank you for reading it man!
prozac über alles
Last seen: 9 years, 8 months
Does anybody have similar stories to tell ?
TELL 'em ... OR is there something that was exactly the same as you experienced it, or was there something weird that happened to you too just like in the report? ... please specify
Loc: the system
Last seen: 1 month, 24 days
Loc: the system
Last seen: 1 month, 24 days
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