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Registered: 07/28/03
Posts: 5
Last seen: 14 years, 3 months
First Poem, Criticism Needed
    #2302794 - 02/04/04 11:37 PM (17 years, 11 months ago)

This is my first poem as I felt somewhat inspired. All criticism is welcomed as long as it's gentle :grin:


a feeling of deja vu
shrouding all the ground around me
an old friend
which will never tire
reads my mind
comfort is something
i will never forget

emotions wild
you always could understand
acknowledge my existence
one shallow breath at a time

chaos, i need none of this
enlightening one sway at a time
the trees speak vividly
only i can understand
but one is not limited

un-deniable essence
only beckons to identify
it is intangible
but it’s presence is self-confident

it surrounds me and engulfs me
leaving little choice but to surrender
I will surrender
it won’t be the last

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