Home | Community | Message Board

Kratom Eye
Please support our sponsors.

General Interest >> Music, Art, and Media

Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Jump to first unread post. Pages: 1
Male User Gallery

Registered: 03/14/04
Posts: 8,120
    #1444266 - 04/09/03 09:25 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

just wrote a poem, its still rough but id like some opinions/comments:

draining life
spiraling hell
darkness enter
hide my ruins
the bloody remains
long since cleared

mother earth
heal my sorrows
resurrect the living
bring death
to the dead

Madness echoes
shadows embrace
reality becons
i turn my face

i crush the herbs
they cover my lips
the lotus burns
perception recoils

the poison has left
the damage done
the sweetness sung
and the addiction formed...

Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Amateur Mycologist

Registered: 05/28/02
Posts: 3,774
Loc: Arizona
Re: poem [Re: ]
    #1444334 - 04/09/03 09:44 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Pretty good, although I don't understand some of it.  I like the "mother earth, heal my sorrows" part the best.  The poem has good diction and syntax.  One thing, though.  It's 'beacons,' not 'becons.'




Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
A Bucket of Lard

Registered: 01/13/03
Posts: 322
Last seen: 11 years, 6 months
Re: poem [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #1446654 - 04/10/03 02:55 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Don't mean to be an ass, but actually it's "beckons," unless the poet is trying to say "reality beacons," as in a guide post or warning... Either way, it works.

Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Jump to top. Pages: 1

General Interest >> Music, Art, and Media

Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* Under Moon Lit Depth (a poem) Anonymous 601 6 12/12/01 06:30 AM
by Trail_Blazer
* First Poem, Criticism Needed YEMphish 488 0 02/04/04 11:37 PM
by YEMphish
* Childhood / Mescaline inspired poem about the Desert Noviseer 498 0 12/12/04 11:16 PM
by Noviseer
* In the Deep (an original poem)
( 1 2 all )
geokillsA 1,985 20 03/24/11 07:43 PM
by geokills
* song lyric, or poem dutchmushroom 617 3 05/10/08 07:11 AM
by dutchmushroom
* Some Original Poems...Yeah dmtryptamine 566 1 12/15/06 01:17 AM
by dmtryptamine
* breathe the poem ego_eschaton 753 1 04/14/05 07:11 PM
by JacquesCousteau
* A poem of mine. Please read and respond. psikooz 1,119 12 12/06/03 09:05 AM
by Zildjian

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: Middleman, automan, sui, DividedQuantum
385 topic views. 0 members, 2 guests and 1 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Toggle Favorite | Print Topic | Stats ]
Search this thread:
Please support our sponsors.

Copyright 1997-2017 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.032 seconds spending 0.004 seconds on 14 queries.