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Sex, Violence and the search for Intimacy
    #2282145 -

I've recently come to the understanding that gratuitous sex and violence are really a search for intimacy in an isolated culture. We tend to be quite emotionally isolated from one another, although we are social creatures that need intimacy and love. When it becomes difficult to find healthy intimacy and love people will subconciously seek them out with random sex and violence.

Direct, personal violence is what I'm talking about, not the blind and distant kind governments practice on one another. There is an intense intimacy in direct violence, a closeness to another human being. We need to be affected by other people on an emotional level and when we are for whatever reason incapable of this we will seek out ways to be filled.

This isn't something to be overcome by denial, or self control, but rather by stepping out of isolation and finding a real sort of intimacy with oneself, ones environment and the people in ones life.

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Re: Sex, Violence and the search for Intimacy [Re: NiamhNyx]
    #2282250 -

Interesting...never quite thought of it that way.
I agree :smile:

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Re: Sex, Violence and the search for Intimacy [Re: NiamhNyx]
    #2282273 -

yea, that seems right on... must be why I like fighting.

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Re: Sex, Violence and the search for Intimacy [Re: NiamhNyx]
    #2283396 -

i would tend to strongly disagree that rape and murder are forms of intimacy..unless..of course..you happen to be a lamian :wink:...but excluding that special case..it makes more sense to me that a lack of intimacy can make one violent merely because theres no mutual respect..and as such..much less moral reservation about comitting the act ..the victim is not viewed as a human being..but merely as a competitor for resources...the act then becomes at least partially justifiable as preemptive self-defense...this is a point at which the personal meets the political ..the fact that preemptive self-defense is US national policy demonstrates how..without social intimacy..individuals begin to think like their govts (and as such..reelect them)..albeit without the legal sanction to do so...and this is obviously the deliberate result of neocon social engineering (bush signed that law)..which the link below explains further ..

http://www.duke.edu/~dcw4/opaper.html


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"anchor blocks counteract the process of pontiprobation..while omalean globes regulize the pressure"...

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Re: Sex, Violence and the search for Intimacy [Re: NiamhNyx]
    #2283510 -

Direct personal violence and whatever is direct between two people has a lot to do with the enviroment that one grew up and the manners that he/she was taught from the older ones. When this person then ventures, after a certain age, more in the "real" world and gets dissapointed or let down by his relationships with people, his/her actions, whatever they would be under a "neutral" state of mind are amplified and depending on the manners that he/she was taught, these amplifications are controlled or unleashed. We all have a bit of a "murderer" inside us but the surrounding enviroment which formed our consciousness is what stops us from hurting each other.

If you were raised in a neighbourhood where there were gun fights and stuff like that, there are more possibilities that under stress, you will react in a similar way.

Of course tha DNA plays a great role in that too.


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Re: Sex, Violence and the search for Intimacy [Re: Shroomerious]
    #2285227 -

Yes, My statement doesn't deny that point but you really didn't touch on what I said at all. Clearly a lack of intimacy in ones life is inextricably linked to ones childhood and environment. If someone is never touched, hugged or kissed by thier parents and witness only acts of violence, sexual or nonsexual, they will likely become rather violent themselves with a great deal of issues surrounding intimacy, both sexual and nonsexual.

It is a natural urge to be intimate and if one has no healthy understanding of what real intimacy is they will be unable to find it, striking out violently or using thier body and the bodies of others and objects to satiate the desire for real human contact that they are unable to find or understand. It's not a concious thing, they don't know that thier actions are an expression of this lack because if they realized what the really wanted they'd likely start working towards healing themselves and seeking out the kind of closeness they truly want and need.

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Re: Sex, Violence and the search for Intimacy [Re: Annapurna1]
    #2285236 -

Oh, annapurna, rape and murder are certainly NOT forms of intimacy, but it can be argued that a rapist has no notion of what real intimacy is and is unable to satisfy that need, therefore attempting to satiate that lack through physical force. "if you won't love me i'll make you love me.." sort of thing.

I do need to make the point that there is a very intense sort of intimacy involved in taking a life directly, human or nonhuman alike. This does not include methods that distance you from the one you are killing like guns, etc, only methods that bring you face to face, body to body with them. Hunter Gatherers were very aware of the intimacy involved in taking a life and were therefore very careful to respect the animal. There are many myths about hunter and hunted becoming one being at the point of death. In our culture we have a very twisted and exploited version of this intimacy. Perhaps our lack of intimacy in day to day life with the people we encounter is a factor contributing to the over the top degree of violence and empty/soulless sex alive in this culture.

Edited by NiamhNyx (01/29/04 10:13 PM)

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Re: Sex, Violence and the search for Intimacy [Re: NiamhNyx]
    #2285461 -

there is a very intense sort of intimacy involved in taking a life directly, human or nonhuman alike.
i agree that this is true in some cases..such as revenge..or in some spiritual systems...but in most cases:

Perhaps our lack of intimacy in day to day life with the people we encounter is a factor contributing to the over the top degree of violence and empty/soulless sex alive in this culture.
correct..and i still believe that the way this works is by the dehumanization process in my earlier post...

This does not include methods that distance you from the one you are killing like guns, etc, only methods that bring you face to face
actually..most killings of this nature do use a gun...


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"anchor blocks counteract the process of pontiprobation..while omalean globes regulize the pressure"...

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Re: Sex, Violence and the search for Intimacy [Re: NiamhNyx]
    #2286012 -

I think some violence comes from a lack of understanding of how to communicate in an assertive way to achieve something, so aggression is resorted to, even though the person may want to gain some outcome to benefit the relationship. It is also about a lack of sense of personal power that is compensated for by asserting power over someone else. For some people who have a pattern of violence, possibly this is because of being mistreated by others in the past leading to feelings of inadequacy in some areas. Though I think it is complex...I agree with the person who said that an element of dehumanisation may be necessary in order for someone to be capable of committing a violent crime - eg. the status of women or people of other cultural identities in a society is directly related to levels of violent crimes against them. That is, negatively stereotyping a group allows the violent person to see the person as other than like themself or not human and so they can disengage against mistreating them.


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Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pacman affected our generation as kids, we'd all be running around in a darkened room, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.

"Being bitter and hateful is like drinking a vial of poison and hoping the other person gets sick" FreakQLibrium

"My motto from here on out is: If someone or something (including me) in my life is conducting themselves in such a way that they can be seen on Jerry Springer, it's time to take out the garbage!!! When you stop taking their behaviour personally and see their antics as a true reflection on their character, it becomes absolutely nauseating." Anon. on abusive relationships.

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Re: Sex, Violence and the search for Intimacy [Re: enotake2]
    #2286020 -

Of course, there are a wide variety of factors involved in violence including dehumanization and lack of communication skills to name a couple.

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General Interest > Philosophy, Sociology & Psychology
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