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Perceptive
Stranger


Registered: 04/21/15
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Should I use MDMA? - low self-esteem, people-pleaser syndrome, family abuses me, etc....
#22068845 - 08/09/15 06:54 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Basically I have poor boundaries because the way my parents raised me, barely paying attention to me, so now I have "people-pleaser syndrome"
I also "used" to have suicidal thoughts 
Also, i have mild "HPPD" which I have anxiety towards...
So I was wondering if MDMA could help me resolve the traumas the I endured as a child that leave me with people-pleaser syndrome, along with other traumas in my life like the HPPD-related anxiety which was the hardest thing ive ever delt with in my life. I would be obsessing about the visuals to the point where thats like all i would see.
MDMA .... maybe shrooms
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schizferatu



Registered: 05/14/13
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Loc: The Strawberry Fields bey...
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Re: Should I use MDMA? - low self-esteem, people-pleaser syndrome, family abuses me, etc.... [Re: Perceptive]
#22068971 - 08/09/15 07:19 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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How old are you? Have you tried any hallucinogens before? Even cannabis? My route was like a decade(innacurate guesstimation of time) of weed, then train yourself 10 more plus LSD, then - somewhere into you late 30's/ early 40's - take 8grams of shrooms in the dark I had sitters for those two born-again events. I had always hoped for a DMT/Aya experince in the next decade but being totally erased & reformatted has me just feeling at ease with life's mystery. I never tried MDMA and wont. At the end of the experiment sobriety is pretty trippy enough. Be careful! Never stop singing, find the meanest fucker in the room and hug him.
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Vsnares.Zappa
bend over


Registered: 05/04/11
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Re: Should I use MDMA? - low self-esteem, people-pleaser syndrome, family abuses me, etc.... [Re: schizferatu] 1
#22069037 - 08/09/15 07:32 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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the true solution does not lie in those mind-altering substances.
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schizferatu



Registered: 05/14/13
Posts: 71
Loc: The Strawberry Fields bey...
Last seen: 5 years, 3 months
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Re: Should I use MDMA? - low self-esteem, people-pleaser syndrome, family abuses me, etc.... [Re: Vsnares.Zappa]
#22069066 - 08/09/15 07:37 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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True, but they (hallucinogens) can be hazardous shortcuts. Awesome alternative that you didn't mention are zappa ? Meditation?Religion? Music never fails me.
Edited by schizferatu (08/09/15 07:41 PM)
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Perceptive
Stranger


Registered: 04/21/15
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Re: Should I use MDMA? - low self-esteem, people-pleaser syndrome, family abuses me, etc.... [Re: schizferatu]
#22069135 - 08/09/15 07:49 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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haha i like your style !!
yeah Im 19 and ive been smoking since age 15, ive done L and shrooms.
I meditate every day for like 4-5 hours + yoga. Oh yeah, Music is trippy !
Nature is SOOOO trippy. (sad how nature isnt the norm)
IDK, MDMA cures "untreatable" PTSD. IDK how risky it is, ive never done it. I know that the comedown tends to be depressing.
Thanks for the replies guys.
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unsui888
Embodied


Registered: 10/11/08
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Re: Should I use MDMA? - low self-esteem, people-pleaser syndrome, family abuses me, etc.... [Re: Perceptive]
#22069399 - 08/09/15 08:41 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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While MDMA can be a very therapeutic experience, I'm not so sure how you would feel after you come down from such a blissful high. My brother has low self-esteem and depression issues, and when he takes MDMA he is on top of the world with so much love and good ideas to better his life. But the next couple weeks are usually tormenting for him...
-------------------- "a note for asses: what is very convincing, is not necessarily true - it is merely convincing" primus------------------------------------------------------------------------ -----------------------------------------------mama didn't raise no fool
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williamm
Registered: 08/10/15
Posts: 4
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Re: Should I use MDMA? - low self-esteem, people-pleaser syndrome, family abuses me, etc.... [Re: unsui888]
#22070359 - 08/10/15 02:39 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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MDMA needs to be respected if you're going to use it. A lot of party-goers abuse it, they don't recreationally use it. I'm not one to judge, but thats how you screw yourself up (I'm still recovering from a past experience).
I don't use weed because my family has a history of abuse with weed, personally it makes me quite and weird. Opposite effect for me. Shrooms are a spiritual experience from what I know, I've never taken them myself.
MDMA helped me overcome a lot of issues in my life, I don't mean that in a junkie way either. It helped me get past a lot of anxieties in my life in regards to my friends, simply because it makes everyone so much more open and loving.
The come down of MDMA is not bad if it's pure MDMA. Sadly, most MDMA "pills" are cut with bad amphetamines to make it addictive. However, if you can obtain powder from a reliable source you can experience a whole new side of yourself.
You need to remember before you take MDMA that you are not experiencing something natural. MDMA is man-made. After your first time, it will be near impossible to have the same effect from it for at least another 3-5 months (changes per person). My golden rule is wait 3-5 months, i've not done this before and its not cool to recover from. It would be like not waiting after getting a huge booze hangover, and forever having a booze hangover. Except an MDMA hangover will go from lasting 5-7 days to lasting 3-6 months. You need to let your brain reproduce serotonin, not deplete yourself of it.
Before you take MDMA you need to understand what it does and how to prevent hurting yourself.
What it does (fun stuff) It affects three neurotransmitters in your brain. AKA the stuff that plays with your mood, metabolism, etc! Serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine. Specifically you'll experience the effects of serotonin - your brain will literally be flooded! Everyone experiences it differently, personally I become chatty, openminded, love everyone, it makes me want to dance.
The whole experience will last around 4 hours, but varies per person.
What it does (unfortunate stuff) Unfortunately, I get grindy teeth from a small 80mg dose (I end up taking around 120mg in a night). However, I take magnesium an hour and a half beforehand to stop this. It's annoying, but you will just deal with it. If it happens try to relax your jaw.. or have some gum or a straw handy to chew on. You may experience a sore jaw the next day.
You'll get hot too. Have water if you start sweating a lot. But don't drink too much water or your body wont be able to process it. I usually have a small glass of water every hour.
Experience it properly You don't need to party to experience MDMA (but it is a wonderful experience). So if you're not partying, this is best experienced with a small group of friends who all understand MDMA. Do not have anything on the next day. You may end up being tired, again - different per person.
Sit at home, have a playlist with your favourite songs in it - you're about to experience them very differently
Dealing with complications If you start to worry or over think things the best solution is to sit down and tell your friend(s). Your friend(s) should be aware of how to deal with this. Reassurance them that it's just the drugs, and that it'll be fine helps. Try hugging - hugging helps a lot. You most likely wont experience this but you should be aware of how to deal with it if it does happen.
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GoldenEye
...



Registered: 05/24/13
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Re: Should I use MDMA? - low self-esteem, people-pleaser syndrome, family abuses me, etc.... [Re: williamm]
#22070369 - 08/10/15 02:49 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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MDMA lets you view yourself from a bit of distance and with a lot of empathy. If you think you can benefit from that, try it. There is no need to do it very often as there aren't many additional teachings to be had. The rabbit hole doesn't go infinitely deep with this substance. I wouldn't even call it a rabbit hole actually.
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8Misplaced8
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Registered: 08/09/15
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Re: Should I use MDMA? - low self-esteem, people-pleaser syndrome, family abuses me, etc.... [Re: GoldenEye] 1
#22070617 - 08/10/15 06:30 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I'm pretty sure you're gonna need guidance while on MDMA in order to treat your problems. Knowing how the MDMA research is done since they do it here (also had a friend working there)- they're not just giving it to people so they can take it at home, its done with a therapist to monitor and guide them through. Taking it alone trying to fix something can result obsessing about it even more and doing further damage.
Also, MDMA wont fix you, you will fix yourself with the help of the MDMA, meaning you can also do it alone and not counting on it. If that makes sense. But that's just my opinion.
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Perceptive
Stranger


Registered: 04/21/15
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Re: Should I use MDMA? - low self-esteem, people-pleaser syndrome, family abuses me, etc.... [Re: williamm]
#22070656 - 08/10/15 06:54 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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you maybe are sensitive if 80 mg affected u so much? idk
Anyways, I am on a vegan diet so that will probably help.
I hoppe that MDMA wont make my mild HPPD stronger.
THanks for the reply, everyone.
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404
error


Registered: 08/20/10
Posts: 14,539
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Re: Should I use MDMA? - low self-esteem, people-pleaser syndrome, family abuses me, etc.... [Re: Perceptive]
#22074530 - 08/11/15 12:26 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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outside of a therapuetic session it's hard to say how much good it will do for you. if you are going to do mdma, it would be best to be under heavy supervision of an experienced practitioner in a controlled setting where you and your physician can actively work through some of your past traumas.
if you have HPPD, taking hallucinogens may aggravate the condition.
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Rebelutionsssss
Mdmazing



Registered: 07/23/14
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Loc: San Francisco
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Re: Should I use MDMA? - low self-esteem, people-pleaser syndrome, family abuses me, etc.... [Re: 404]
#22074789 - 08/11/15 03:51 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Take it with some good friends man. You'll have those therapeutic talks where you can say ANYTHING without fear of being judged or any pain you might associate with those thoughts. Talk about life, love, your hopes and dreams, what happened to you in the past that might prevent your current growth, things you want to change/ things you love about yourself that you never want to change. For me MDMA is the most useful tool to connect with those you love because there's no barrier between you two when you're talking. It has brought me closer to a select few than I thought possible.
-------------------- : To define is to confine.
Edited by Rebelutionsssss (08/11/15 05:02 AM)
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williamm
Registered: 08/10/15
Posts: 4
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Re: Should I use MDMA? - low self-esteem, people-pleaser syndrome, family abuses me, etc.... [Re: Perceptive]
#22074859 - 08/11/15 04:55 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Perceptive said: you maybe are sensitive if 80 mg affected u so much?
80mg is a good starting point based on my weight and experience. Dosages per person are different, most people say to take 100-120mg, but I usually start with 80mg, and add another 20mg if I feel I need it. The best way to measure this is from your weight as 1.25mg-1.5mg /Kg for initial dosage and then 0.25mg-0.5mg /Kg as your extra kick if you feel you need it.
The come up can be really overwhelming if you take too much and your eyes will wobble and as hilarious as it is it doesn't seem you're after that!
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m4dScientist
Music Always Helps


Registered: 08/04/14
Posts: 1,616
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Re: Should I use MDMA? - low self-esteem, people-pleaser syndrome, family abuses me, etc.... [Re: Perceptive] 1
#22075091 - 08/11/15 07:00 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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whats good perceptive?
I was once under the assumption drugs could "solve" my problems. i thought the right drug, under the right circumstances, at the right dose, approached in the right sense, etc etc etc, could help me make sense of the angst i was experiencing in my life.
i respect the opinions of everyone, but there is no substitution for REAL LIFE experience. drugs can expand your consciousness, but when the drugs wear off, your problems are still there. there is no quick fix. for instance, people pleasing is usually a sign of codependency. codependency is a learned behavior, and it's something that takes a loooong time to resolve.
also, as someone who has experimented thoroughly with mdma, if youre someone who is prone to depressive issues, i would avoid it, completely.
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hayabuser

Registered: 01/18/15
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Re: Should I use MDMA? - low self-esteem, people-pleaser syndrome, family abuses me, etc.... [Re: m4dScientist]
#22075135 - 08/11/15 07:26 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Pure LSA -Caapi combo is alot like MDMA and has no bad side effects. Infact Caapi is extremly healthy for brain and body.
-------------------- Everything I post is (science)fiction.
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404
error


Registered: 08/20/10
Posts: 14,539
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Re: Should I use MDMA? - low self-esteem, people-pleaser syndrome, family abuses me, etc.... [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
#22075199 - 08/11/15 07:50 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I can see where saying anything about one's history or past might become a problem. at least a physician will adhere to the Hippocratic oath
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