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Community > Physical and Mental Well-Being
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Stick a fork in me..
    #2173517 -

..I'm done. I?m so tired of this. I don?t want anything good to happen to me anymore. The only reason anything good ever happens to me: growing up in a rich household, making good friends, being successful in school, is for the sole purpose of torturing me when it is all taken away. Everything is taken away, everything is a fucking joke, and everything is bullshit. I?m tired of hearing everyone?s bullshit, and putting up with it, just because I?m a lonely loser who wants company. No one gives a shit about me; don?t even claim to, I know you?re lying. The only reason anyone would ever ?care? about me, is when they want something from me. What the fuck can I do? Nothing. All I can do is pray to that jackass of a god to let me go out in a hail of bullets, rather than as a drugged out loser, overdosing in my bedroom, with absolutely no one around. Trying to seek happiness is useless. I know this now. No matter what people say, I know it will never happen.

Fuck everyone, fuck school, fuck god. Fuck all of you people who pretend to be my friends, lie to me, and who are only there when its convenient for you. Fuck all of you people who abuse my nice nature, and fuck all of you people who think that its just a false demeanor, and that I?m just trying to get something out of it. Most of all, fuck all of you people who are going to come out of the woodwork with your false sympathy for me. This isn?t a suicide note; I won?t die like some cowering wretch. Even though I may want it to end, there are far more constructive ways to get killed.

...sorry. Now I'm really done.


--------------------
Why, sirrah, why may a caudled fillhorse be deemed the brother to a hiren candle in the night? Withal, because a candle may be greased, yet a fillhorse be without a fat argier!

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Re: Stick a fork in me.. [Re: CeeEssGee]
    #2173525 -

hey now be nice.

Edited by boO (12/13/03 10:47 AM)

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Re: Stick a fork in me.. [Re: Dreamer987]
    #2173551 -

And your "my aunt is a bitch" is positive?  I wasn't asking for sympathy, fucker, and if you had the capacity, you'd understand that I NEEDED to get rid of all of this negativity, because I'm just sitting here, seething in it, and I needed to get rid of it.  I never say anything when I'm pissed off, or when I catch someone lying to me, or feel used, etc, and now I just need to vent.

Furthermore, I'll bet I could name exactly the part where you started finding it "negative".  The "fuck you" to the government haters, hmm?  How predictable. :rolleyes:


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Why, sirrah, why may a caudled fillhorse be deemed the brother to a hiren candle in the night? Withal, because a candle may be greased, yet a fillhorse be without a fat argier!

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Re: Stick a fork in me.. [Re: CeeEssGee]
    #2173563 -

Oh i'v got some negitivity to get rid of so i'll go talk shit to random people.
I understand. Don't be supprised if you talk shit to people and they say something back. If you want to talk politics there is a forum for that, but you know your on a site full of "government haters" so don't patranize us

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Re: Stick a fork in me.. [Re: Dreamer987]
    #2173571 -

I'm not talking about random people, and I'm certainly not ranting about random people. Do you think I might have some specific examples in mind, hmm, or maybe I'm just completely worked up about random people I hear on the shroomery? I'm talking about specific people who I constantly listen to, and avoid saying certain things because I know that it will offend them. I guess I was right, huh? Go away, you ridiculously predictable archetype. I was just ranting about people and events in my personal, real life, because I am too nice to say them in real life.


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Why, sirrah, why may a caudled fillhorse be deemed the brother to a hiren candle in the night? Withal, because a candle may be greased, yet a fillhorse be without a fat argier!

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Re: Stick a fork in me.. [Re: CeeEssGee]
    #2173579 -


That is all.

Edited by boO (12/13/03 10:49 AM)

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Re: Stick a fork in me.. [Re: Dreamer987]
    #2173748 -

I deleted said offensive items, not because you complained, but because I didn't think it was on topic. Regardless, you are an idiot that can't come up with a decent reply, and you're stupid enough to call someone who admitedly WANTS TO DIE a "douche" and a "loser". You're lucky that I'm not the type to take comments from idiots, now get the fuck out of this thread. To the mods: sorry for outright flaming him, but I think it is warranted when he replies in the way he did to my sincere post.


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Why, sirrah, why may a caudled fillhorse be deemed the brother to a hiren candle in the night? Withal, because a candle may be greased, yet a fillhorse be without a fat argier!

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Re: Stick a fork in me.. [Re: CeeEssGee]
    #2173763 -

Ya take all the shit talkin out of your original post, to make you sound inocent.
good save

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Re: Stick a fork in me.. [Re: Dreamer987]
    #2173783 -

A wise man once said don't argue with fools,
Because people from far away can't tell who is who!


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Fold for The Shroomery!

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Re: Stick a fork in me.. [Re: Dreamer987]
    #2173823 -

You still persist? "all the shit talkin " I took out ONE LINE, and it was hardly what I would consider shit talking. I want to thank you, you know. I was feeling like shit before, but when I see people make asses of themselves, it always managed to brighten my day.

From now on though, I'll be sure to sugar coat rants that include very personal thoughts, and explain suicidal tendencies, 'kay? Super! Now go away, you'll only make yourself look worse, archetype. (By now, I'm sure you're wracking your brain for what I mean by that, if you ever give up, be sure to tell me and I'll explain it to you in little, easy to understand words.)


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Why, sirrah, why may a caudled fillhorse be deemed the brother to a hiren candle in the night? Withal, because a candle may be greased, yet a fillhorse be without a fat argier!

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Re: Stick a fork in me.. [Re: CeeEssGee]
    #2174110 -

Hey you sound kinda like me!
I have been cursing god alot lately.
anyway, (I think)you lie when you say you dont want anything good to happen to you..if you are like me you have gotten to a point where the negative feeds on itself and is a endless circle of pain..

It sounds like you are on more of a angry wavelenghth..expressing that through music( very violent music I might add) is what helped me.. but after the dust settled it was love and that old egolosing feeling that saved me

..but thats in the past now I am fucked up again.. all I feel is pain and sorrow..very little anger.

If I can help you at all let me know.

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Re: Stick a fork in me.. [Re: shaggy101]
    #2174142 -

"growing up in a rich household, making good friends, being successful in school"

1) many people don't get the opportunity to grow up in a rich household.
2) many people don't get the luxury of making good friends, if any.
3) many people don't have the will or intelligence to be a good student.

YOUR SITUATION COULD BE MUCH WORSE.
if you can not acknowledge this, you will never change.


--------------------
// your halo slipping down
// to choke you now

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Re: Stick a fork in me.. [Re: CeeEssGee]
    #2174255 -

I am trying to get a grasp of where you're coming from and I'm afraid I am all too familiar with the territory.

I could say mental depression, but that'd be kinda like saying to a guy in a concentration camp that his problem is a mentality thing..
So even though chronically feeling like shit is a big part of your problem, I won't go there.

If you drop the fun mentality (most often involuntarily)life indeed bites wind quite substantially.
I really feel the urge to want to help you, but I have enough insight into human nature (and my own) to see that this primarily stems off of the egotistical fact that helping a dude out MAKES --ME-- FEEL GOOD. Well such is life. All I want to say is that when a guy can derive satisfaction from being tied and whipped the living shit out of (like yours truely) it is not at all impossible to get back on track again and learn to feel good (once more).

YOU have the CAPACITY to feel good, quite good in fact.
.....Your life may suck
.....The way you handle life may suck
.....You may feel like shit
But the capacity is there. It might take a pharmaceutical drug regimen as prescribed by a doctor, some tender loving care and changes in the way you go about life, (one, two or all of these) but just as feelings can worsen they can very well move up. In fact life is a flowing wavelike thing and change is the constant.

Violence of the mind or body, directed to yourself or others will not get you out of this mess. I think the major part of your problem is that you feel completely rotten about just about everything. Most people in the third world do not, which ought to tell you something can be done about your situation. You are right that recreational drugs can not help you, but a temporary pharmaceutical intervention might nudge you into the direction of feeling better.
I can diagnose mental depression just like you can diagnose that I should go and fuck myself. If my thing were longer, I would :smirk:

Please feel free to flame the bejesus out of me. Not that I think you are such a person, but if you are go right ahead.
And this is not at all because I am Holier Then Thou;

This year I have seen death eye to eye several times on the Intensive Care Unit. Shortly after that I got to be the one to give the go-ahead order for the euthanasia on my own mother and months later scattered her ashes with the very hands typing this.

Any hostile words fall on deaf ears because I have seen direly worse and I indeed do not know you well enough to warrant guilt trips if I lack in care. Life can either suck or suck you off: the choice for the most part is yours how you feel about whatever happens.
I know what Hell is, trust me. I do not capitalize the word Hell out of mere habit nor am I a Christian. I'd say steer clear of it and strive for the good feeling. If real people can't help you I'd say help a doc to earn his living and pay him a visit. Personally I give the major depth of your crisis a few weeks, perhaps some months tops if you work on it without guidance.
Your problem is an in-and-out thing.
I wish you the best, sorry!


.


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
personal empowerment for the world

:nyan: LGBT - Love God Before Tradition :nyan:

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Re: Stick a fork in me.. [Re: cyrus]
    #2174399 -

You know what? Fuck you. I'm tired of hearing that shit. I'm tired of hearing that, because there are starving people in africa, and I have rich parents, I have no right to feel down. To the other two positive posters, thank you, regardless of the second paragraph.

Oh, and furthermore, dreamer987, you didn't "tell me what's what", you felt personally insulted, because I disagree with "government haters",and then you stooped to flinging childish insults, in a forum where you know it is not tolerated. Grow up, you juvenile delinquint (regardless of your physical age), you're the exact reason why I hate archetype government haters, just for the sole reason that it disagrees with their illegal habits.


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Why, sirrah, why may a caudled fillhorse be deemed the brother to a hiren candle in the night? Withal, because a candle may be greased, yet a fillhorse be without a fat argier!

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Re: Stick a fork in me.. [Re: CeeEssGee]
    #2174547 -

no more ridicule...pls.

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Re: Stick a fork in me.. [Re: boO]
    #2179283 -

Thank you, boO for unlocking my thread.


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Why, sirrah, why may a caudled fillhorse be deemed the brother to a hiren candle in the night? Withal, because a candle may be greased, yet a fillhorse be without a fat argier!

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Re: Stick a fork in me.. [Re: CeeEssGee]
    #2180013 -

You know what? Fuck you. I'm tired of hearing that shit. I'm tired of hearing that, because there are starving people in africa, and I have rich parents, I have no right to feel down. To the other two positive posters, thank you, regardless of the second paragraph.

I think what cyrus is trying to express is that you should perhaps look at what you have going for you that is good and go from there. Things always get better, but if you continue to swim in the cess pool of negativity, you won't be able to reach the shore.

As cyrus said, concentrate on what you DO have, and take it step by step. Sometimes buildings fall down and what you have to do is rebuild from what is there. Before you know it, it'll be a building again. Until it falls down again, which it will. That's life. You need a balance of good and bad.

Maybe the reason why you are feeling like this is because you EXPECT to have good things returned to you. That's the wrong attitude. If you do things with that mind set, you will always crash. Do things that make you happy without expecting 'payment' in return. Sometimes you will receive it back, sometimes you won't. Live life how you want to live it and do what makes you happy. If you expect things and you don't receive it, of course you are going set yourself up for a fall.


--------------------
I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it. One.
-={Nite-Crew}=-

*-_Thread_Jacker_-*
To love is to admire with the heart; to admire is to love with the mind. - Th?ophile Gautier.
Seek not every quality in one individual - Confucius.
Global Living Space

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Re: Stick a fork in me.. [Re: sykobish]
    #2180151 -

I don't ever expect anything, from anyone.


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Why, sirrah, why may a caudled fillhorse be deemed the brother to a hiren candle in the night? Withal, because a candle may be greased, yet a fillhorse be without a fat argier!

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Re: Stick a fork in me.. [Re: CeeEssGee]
    #2180240 -

I understand but from your initial post I got the impression that you were tired of people not giving back the same niceness that you give. You know me in real life and you know how nice I am and how I treat my friends. I never expect for them to repay me.


--------------------
I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it. One.
-={Nite-Crew}=-

*-_Thread_Jacker_-*
To love is to admire with the heart; to admire is to love with the mind. - Th?ophile Gautier.
Seek not every quality in one individual - Confucius.
Global Living Space

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Re: Stick a fork in me.. [Re: sykobish]
    #2180323 -

Well, I certainly don't expect anything.  I'm a nice person (and clearly oh so modest..  :smirk:), just because I can't be anything else.  Look at this, whenever I want to get angry at my friends, I can't, I'll ignore things completely just because they're my friends, they're human, and they make mistakes.  Actually, most of time, if I feel like someone has wronged me in anyway (and I do not mean not given me back anything for being nice, I mean being a bitch/asshole with absolutely no reason), I will somehow blame myself, and think that I have done something wrong.

Maybe I'm just rambling, and that my rant was completely unwarranted, I don't know.  I wish I could expect things from people, such as to act like civil human beings, and then get pissed off at them when they can't, but I don't have that power.


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Why, sirrah, why may a caudled fillhorse be deemed the brother to a hiren candle in the night? Withal, because a candle may be greased, yet a fillhorse be without a fat argier!

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