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OfflineSonnyBoyS
indomitable
Registered: 08/21/01
Posts: 693
Loc: CANADA
Last seen: 3 years, 10 months
A good breakup letter
    #2127161 - 11/21/03 01:06 PM (13 years, 15 days ago)

Dear Terri:

I know the counselor said we shouldn't contact each other during
our  "cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore. The day you
left, I swore I'd never talk to you again. But that was just the wounded little boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make
contact.
In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me. I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride's cost me a lot of things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you. I don't care about
looking bad anymore.
I don't care who makes the first move as long as one of us does. Maybe
it's time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt. And this is what my heart says... "There's no one like you, Terri."
I look for you in the eyes and breasts of every woman I see, but they're
not you. They're not even close. Two weeks ago, I met this girl at the
Rainbow Room and brought her home with me. I don't say this to hurt you, but just to illustrate the depth of my desperation.
She was young, Terri, maybe 19, with one of those perfect bodies that
only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice skating can give you. I mean, just a perfect body. Tits you wouldn't believe and an ass like a tortoise shell.
Every man's dream, right?  But as I sat on the couch being blown by this
coed, I thought, look at the stuff we've made important in our lives.
It's all so surface. What does a perfect body mean? Does it make her better in bed? Well, in this case, yes. But you see what I'm getting at. Does it make her a better person? Does she have a better heart than my moderately attractive Terri? I doubt it. And I'd never really thought of that before. I don't know, maybe I'm just growing up a little.
Later, after I'd tossed her about a quart of throat yogurt, I found
myself thinking, "Why do I feel so drained and empty?" It wasn't just her
flawless technique or her slutty, shameless hunger, but something else. Some niggling feeling of loss. Why did it feel so incomplete?  And then it
hit me. It didn't feel the same because you weren't there, Terri, to watch. Do you know that I mean? Nothing feels the same without you, baby.
Jesus, Terri, I'm just going crazy without you. And everything I do just
reminds me of you. Do you remember Carol, that single mom we met at Mt. Sinai Baptist Church? Well, she drops by last week with a pan of
lasagna. She said she figured I wasn't eating right without a woman around. I didn't know what she meant till later, but that's not the real story. Anyway, we have a few glasses of wine and the next thing you know we're fucking in our old bedroom. And this broad's a total monster in the sack. She's giving me everything, you know like a real woman does when she's not hung up about God and her career and whether the kids can hear us. And all of a sudden she spots that tilting mirror on your grandmother's old vanity. So she puts it on the floor and we straddle it, right, so we can watch ourselves. And it's totally hot, but it makes me sad too. 'Cause I can't help thinking, "Why didn't Terri ever put the mirror on the floor? We've had this old vanity for what, 14 years, and we never used it as a sex aid." (Some of this I thought about later.)
You know what I mean? What happened to our spontaneity? You get so
caught up in the routine of a marriage and you just lose sight of each other. And then you lose yourself. That's the saddest part of all for me.
But I keep thinking we can get it back. I know we can, because I only
want this stuff with you. Saturday, your sister drops by with my copy of the restraining order. I mean, Shannon's just a kid and all, but she's got a pretty good head on her shoulders. She's been a real friend to me during this painful time. She's given me lots of good counsel about you and about women in general. (She's pulling for us to get back together,
Terri. She really is.)
So we're drinking in the hot tub and talking about happier times. Here's
this hot girl with the same DNA as you (although, let's face it, she got
an extra helping of the sexy gene) and all I can do is think of how much
she looks like you when you were 18. And that just about makes me cry.  And then it turns out Shannon's really into the whole anal thing and
that gets me to thinking about how many times I pressured you about
trying it and how that probably fueled some of the bitterness between
us.
But do you see how even then, when I'm thrusting inside the steaming hot Dutch oven of your sister's cinnamon ring, all I can do is think of you? It's true, baby. In your heart you know it.
Don't you think we could start over? Just wipe out all the grievances
and start fresh? I think we can. I keep thinking that I think if you'd just
try it, I wouldn't have to pressure you so much. Because who needs all that bitterness, Terri? It just tears us apart. And I can't be apart from
you.  Because I love you.



I think terri should give him another chance :loveeyes: :stoned:
 


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"Turn up the good!...Turn down the suck!" - Fubar


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OfflineHagbardCeline
Student-Teacher-Student-Teacher
Male User Gallery

Registered: 05/10/03
Posts: 9,805
Loc: Overjoyed, at the bottom ...
Last seen: 4 hours, 24 minutes
Re: A good breakup letter [Re: SonnyBoy]
    #2127242 - 11/21/03 01:32 PM (13 years, 15 days ago)

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

That is without a doubt one of the funniest things I have ever read!

You deserve 5 for that! 


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I keep it real because I think it is important that a highly esteemed individual such as myself keep it real lest they experience the dreaded spontaneous non-existance of no longer keeping it real. - Hagbard Celine


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Offlinedebianlinux
Myconerd - DBK
Male User Gallery

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 12/09/02
Posts: 8,271
Loc: Over There
Last seen: 3 days, 20 hours
Re: A good breakup letter [Re: HagbardCeline]
    #2127250 - 11/21/03 01:35 PM (13 years, 15 days ago)

definitely funny. definitely.


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OfflineBigNerd
Sociable loner
Male User Gallery

Registered: 10/31/03
Posts: 4,228
Loc: local elementary school
Last seen: 4 years, 3 months
Re: A good breakup letter [Re: debianlinux]
    #2127359 - 11/21/03 02:21 PM (13 years, 15 days ago)

Effin' A hilarious.    :thumbup:

BN


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Sometimes karma needs a little help.


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Anonymous

Re: A good breakup letter [Re: BigNerd]
    #2127382 - 11/21/03 02:29 PM (13 years, 15 days ago)

:lol:

Niiiiice.

bf6
:lipsrsealed:


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Offline_I_
Stranger

Registered: 11/12/03
Posts: 296
Last seen: 13 years, 15 days
Re: A good breakup letter [Re: SonnyBoy]
    #2127409 - 11/21/03 02:41 PM (13 years, 15 days ago)

who wrote it?


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Motherfucker stop reading my sig goddamnit


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Invisibleadrug

Registered: 02/04/03
Posts: 15,800
Re: A good breakup letter [Re: _I_]
    #2127450 - 11/21/03 03:01 PM (13 years, 15 days ago)

That doesn't seem that funny when you're actually getting letters like that. :tongue:


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Offline_I_
Stranger

Registered: 11/12/03
Posts: 296
Last seen: 13 years, 15 days
Re: A good breakup letter [Re: adrug]
    #2127453 - 11/21/03 03:02 PM (13 years, 15 days ago)

you didnt want custody of your kid?


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Motherfucker stop reading my sig goddamnit


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Invisibleadrug

Registered: 02/04/03
Posts: 15,800
Re: A good breakup letter [Re: _I_]
    #2127475 - 11/21/03 03:08 PM (13 years, 15 days ago)

Incorrect. But either way, its really none of your business...


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Offline_I_
Stranger

Registered: 11/12/03
Posts: 296
Last seen: 13 years, 15 days
Re: A good breakup letter [Re: adrug]
    #2127511 - 11/21/03 03:28 PM (13 years, 15 days ago)

exactly!


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Motherfucker stop reading my sig goddamnit


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OfflineSonnyBoyS
indomitable
Registered: 08/21/01
Posts: 693
Loc: CANADA
Last seen: 3 years, 10 months
Re: A good breakup letter [Re: HagbardCeline]
    #2127734 - 11/21/03 05:21 PM (13 years, 15 days ago)

Thanks for the rating :smile: I have know idea who wrote it. I got the e-mail this morning, and laughed my ass off :lol: glad you enjoyed :stoned: 


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"Turn up the good!...Turn down the suck!" - Fubar


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