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Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics > The Psychedelic Experience
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DMT: hellish panic
    #19702412 -

So I'll do my best to keep this coherent but I'm still mildly under the influence of the substance

I just smoked a pretty big hit of dmt. I did not weigh it but it looked like plenty but not too much. I wasn't afraid at all as I inhaled. Smoke was nasty, took all my willpower as I held it in, counting in my head. By 15 seconds, I didn't care if I held it any more because I was floating in my body. I'm sure some of you are familiar with what I mean.

But this is where it started to go sideways.
I began sort of, thought looping, where each thought points out that the previous one is a little too slow. Its difficult to imagine but I first encountered it huffing air duster in early high school before I knew what drugs were.
After that, the real hell of the drug began. I suddenly "remembered" being trapped in the sea of fractals and counterfractals that is the DMT headspace. I don't know how this is possible, as I have only done it once before and I did not remember anything like that occuring. In fact, I had a distinct "memory" of the exact sensations I was feeling at the time I was feeling them. I began to panic, which only got worse. I tried to close my eyes and anjoy the CEVs but at this point I was too worked up, confused, scared, and panicky to really do anything. I fired up a chatroom and pleaded with them to help me...

Finally it began to subside.
I'm starting to feel a little calmer now...


I couldn't enjoy the experience or even pay attention to it because I was too terrified and confused by the conflicting sensations of remembering something as it happened.

This is not a good explaination TBH.
It was like.. DMT is timeless from the inside right? So it was like I had already spent an eternity in that space before, desperate to get out, and now I had returned and suddenly remembered that fact.

I don't know how else to explain.

Anyone else experienced things like this? How did you get passed it?


--------------------
hmm...

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Re: DMT: hellish panic [Re: CodeLion]
    #19702474 -

Great avatar to start, and to keep it short, some people get dejavu from psychedelics. I personally think it has something to do with how connected chemicals like dmt are with the universe and our existence. I usually only get anxiety from drugs like dmt if I am not taking them seriously, have you been using i a lot lately? Or using it casually? You have to keep in mind you are messing with one of them most ancient and sacred of chemicals. That is all I can really say, also smoking dmt is a waste. If you really want to explore this chemical look into the harmala's, if you haven't already.
Hope this helps.


--------------------
Don't worry about me, I've got all that I need. And I'm singing my song to the sky

You know how it feels, With the breeze of the sun in your eyes. Not minding that time's passing by

I've got all and more, My smile, just as before. Is all that I carry with me

I talk to myself, I need nobody else. I'm lost and I'm mine, yes I'm free


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Re: DMT: hellish panic [Re: musiclover420]
    #19702713 -

musiclover420 said:
also smoking dmt is a waste. .


That is an extremely narrow view. 

OP DMT is really not for everybody.  If the chemical doesn't agree with you, don't take it anymore.


--------------------
A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an
invasion, butcher a hog, design a building, conn a ship, write a
sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the
dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve an
equation, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a
computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly.
Specialization is for insects.- Robert A. Heinlein
Saint RedBow of the Shroomey Loomey-Patron Saint of Sandbaggin Sumbitchs

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Re: DMT: hellish panic [Re: TheGreenArrow]
    #19702867 -

I've had this several times on LSD. First time was scary, the next I just resigned myself to eternity in the loop.

Isn't it strange how an infinite amount of time can pass in an instant? I'm not talking about the real world here. I mean that in my trip I went into a timeless place. In that place I was forever trapped, but also instantaneously released. Very strange.

Same thing happens right before you die. Just think of those moments when you realized what you are and who you are. Remember realizing that you were no longer a child. Remember how fast your childhood seemed to pass when you made that realization.

Moments before you die, your entire life is compressed down into a single instant, and that instant ends right now and forever.


--------------------
Open mind, open heart, open book.


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Re: DMT: hellish panic [Re: healing]
    #19703069 -

After sleeping on it I've remembered a few things worth saying.
Part of my continued panic was the inability to find a physical center. I guess the dmt body hallucinations are such that your edges begin to bleed into the rest of the universe, both mental and physical. It feels a little like floating in a fast moving stream. The second you have it figured out, that fractal you "know" shifts and you don't know jack.

Other thing: how can I have a distinct impression of a trip I've never had? This happened the last time I smoked dmt sortof. For about 3 months after I would have the same sort of terrifying flashes of memory I just had last night, but they were alot more blurry and I never could remember whatever it was I was remembering fkr more than an instant.


--------------------
hmm...

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Re: DMT: hellish panic [Re: CodeLion]
    #19703149 -

I took 4 big hits my first time, took off like a rocket then i felt like i was being held down and something was ripping my teeth out and thats exactly how it felt.  Then i felt some sort of probe insert through my nose and busted through into my brain and prodded around in there for a while. The whole time i was very scared even though i expected something like that to happen. An hour later after calming down i had an amazing dmt experience like being in a dome of pink and blue bliss. I think you gotta go through some shit before you advance with it

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Re: DMT: hellish panic [Re: CodeLion]
    #19703217 -

CodeLion said:
After sleeping on it I've remembered a few things worth saying.
Part of my continued panic was the inability to find a physical center. I guess the dmt body hallucinations are such that your edges begin to bleed into the rest of the universe, both mental and physical. It feels a little like floating in a fast moving stream. The second you have it figured out, that fractal you "know" shifts and you don't know jack.

Other thing: how can I have a distinct impression of a trip I've never had? This happened the last time I smoked dmt sortof. For about 3 months after I would have the same sort of terrifying flashes of memory I just had last night, but they were alot more blurry and I never could remember whatever it was I was remembering fkr more than an instant.


You sound like me. I have schizoaffective disorder. It's fun sometimes :smile:


--------------------
Open mind, open heart, open book.


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Re: DMT: hellish panic [Re: joe2]
    #19703372 -

I've read about substances that effect your short term memory in a way that makes things seem like they have been experienced before when they haven't really. I've definitely had that feeling that I'm remembering things I've already seen, much like OP described.


--------------------
PrimalSoup's Tea Tek

"I always say the tea is like eating a burning tire covered in dog shit while someone steps on your nuts. Good luck!"
"Hell, shrooms have blown up from under me and kicked my ass on 2 grams once."
"I think ill eat some shrooms right about now, and ill continue to until it doesnt feel like the right thing to do."

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Re: DMT: hellish panic [Re: SizlChest]
    #19703432 -

SizlChest said:
I've read about substances that effect your short term memory in a way that makes things seem like they have been experienced before when they haven't really. I've definitely had that feeling that I'm remembering things I've already seen, much like OP described.


It's also very similar to DXM.


--------------------
Open mind, open heart, open book.


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Re: DMT: hellish panic [Re: healing]
    #19703811 -

Op i think I know what you mean.  Almost every time i smoke dmt, i get that same deja vu feeling of " oh no! Why did I do this again? Please no not again!  I swear to god il never do this again." Its only when i say "fuck it might as well get this over with" and lay back to "endure" the traumatic experience , that somewhere in the midst, it evolves into pure bliss. 

You truely have to surrender to the experience. Because it will drag you kicking and screaming whether you like it or not:laugh:  you bought the ticket, take the ride.

It kinda sucks not actually remembering how horrible the experience can be, but if I didn't forget that feeling to some extent then I'd more than likely never go back.

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Re: DMT: hellish panic [Re: Kief Ledger]
    #19704053 -

Wow I guess that makes sense. For like an hour after I do DMT I'm like "I'm never, ever, ever, doing this stuff again."
Then the next day I'm like it wasn't that bad.
Except it was...

Its not going to be easy to let go like that. Maybe if I try to go into it with a clear mind and in a meditative position it might help

EDIT:
+5 shrooms for you.


--------------------
hmm...

Edited by CodeLion (03/16/14 01:15 PM)

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Re: DMT: hellish panic [Re: CodeLion]
    #19704579 -

Its not even really letting go to start, its more of OK you did this to yourself, lets just get through it.  I think it gets a little easier with time, or at least the knowledge that you will come out unscathed on the other side.  But all that goes out the window when that all encompesing doomed,  I've done it this time, feeling hits.

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Re: DMT: hellish panic [Re: Kief Ledger]
    #19705725 -

Kief Ledger said:
Its not even really letting go to start, its more of OK you did this to yourself, lets just get through it.  I think it gets a little easier with time, or at least the knowledge that you will come out unscathed on the other side.  But all that goes out the window when that all encompesing doomed,  I've done it this time, feeling hits.


Has it passed for you eventually? I'm going to try much a lower dose tonight and see if that helps with the panic aspect
but it was pretty intense fear.


--------------------
hmm...

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Re: DMT: hellish panic [Re: CodeLion]
    #19705796 -

You just have to try again and again. Remember it's not about controlling the panic or being brave, it's about realizing that there's nothing you can do. There's no point in even trying. Whatever feelings come up, feel them. If you're going through hell, keep going. Don't stop. Don't resist. Don't even try to interpret or make sense of what's happening. Close your eyes, lay of your bed and float. The more you relax, the better you will start feeling. The better you start feeling, the more you will want to relax. Once you totally let go you will want to do it again and again. The very idea of a bad trip will seem silly. Don't be discouraged.

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Re: DMT: hellish panic [Re: Sickbeard]
    #19705852 -

I just did about 10 to 15 mgs. It was a tiny, tiny ammount and I don't even think I hit the whole cloud properly (I gotta get a better way of smoking)
I felt like my soul/the universe was going significantly slower, like even though the outside world still opperated at full speed, my "inner clock" was slowed down. I also felt like I was slipping and sliding out of my body...

Funky.
Helps me understand the intenseness of the DMT space. The mild body effects alone were intense enough to be a drug in and of themselves


--------------------
hmm...

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Re: DMT: hellish panic [Re: joe2]
    #19706779 -

joe2 said:
I took 4 big hits my first time, took off like a rocket then i felt like i was being held down and something was ripping my teeth out and thats exactly how it felt.  Then i felt some sort of probe insert through my nose and busted through into my brain and prodded around in there for a while. The whole time i was very scared even though i expected something like that to happen. An hour later after calming down i had an amazing dmt experience like being in a dome of pink and blue bliss. I think you gotta go through some shit before you advance with it


holy shit! exact same thing... well, sort of.

for me, they entered between my left eye and eyelid and proceeded to hack the long term memory processes of my brain. this is how they communicated with me.  i didnt hear them, either auditory or telepathically. i remembered them. even though i KNEW this was the first time this had ever happened to me, it was being presented as memory. memory as old as anything else i could remember.

"dont be scared. this time will be the same as the last time... remember?"

well ya, but...

they were very secretive with their intentions, and vague with their explanations. but i got the sense of a child at the doctors office for a check up. they too checked my teeth (they are bad. meth mouth would be an upgrade.) and they laid down hard on the sore spots, like blindly mashing at piano keys and sustaining the notes till the very last vibration had passed.

i had been through so much already, being scared kinda felt silly.

this happened on a 2c-i DMT combo by the way. and they left something in my brain. here is what i have managed to get out so far...

http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/19305841


--------------------
how's your WOW?





  Edited by yageman (04/20/06 4:20 PM) 

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Re: DMT: hellish panic [Re: wrestler_az]
    #19706874 -

and to the OP...

could you maybe elaborate about what exactly in the experience made it seem so hellish to you? i know that might be impossible to answer, but to get you thinking about it is the only point of the question, so no need if you can't find the words.

a disembodied consciousness has no need (or possibly not even the ability) to perceive time, as we know it here in this dimension. try to picture the sense of time as a prerequisite for memory formation. and when you get down to it, memory is the foundation on which our conscious world is built upon.

dmt is not all fun and games. a lot of it will be hard to swallow, but it seems to me to have a plan. and its not scared to use a little tough love when trying to beak you open to new ideas. stay strong, yet malleable. dont try to integrate what happens out there with reasoning from home. and always remember, to take one more hit!

seriously, i think you just needed more :smile:


--------------------
how's your WOW?





  Edited by yageman (04/20/06 4:20 PM) 

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Re: DMT: hellish panic [Re: wrestler_az]
    #19707513 -

Initially, I experienced a massive stretching of time, then the sensation of my thoughts speeding up so much they began to slow down. As I physically and mentally melted into the bed I recall thinking "I do not exist, is this ego death?" At this point I was still coming up on the effects of the stuff.  Not many visuals noted but heavy body hallucinations had started. As the world slowed to a crystal syrup, I exhaled...

I suddenly had the memory of being trapped in a dmt like dimension for an extremely long time, perhaps an eternity. It was like remembering a dream or something, at least in the way it came back to me. I was distinctly aware that I was trapped there the last time I did dmt. It manifested as a memory of an experience as old as my soul. I had the strange sensation of consciously knowing it could never have happened and undeniably knowing that it had. I had only done dmt once before that and I hadn't had that experience.
Along with the memory came the crushing realization that I was going to be trapped again, how could I forget getting stuck there before, what have I done! Intense feeling of self inflicted doom.

At this point and after a few seconds (or was it hours?) of paralyzing disorientation I imagine I leveled off and I found myself able to stand. I floated over to my desk, my word a twisted tangle of fractals, evading observation in a constant sliding motion that was at once eternally slow and impossibly fast.

I was too intensely confused to even observe the trip at this point. I was desperately confused and just wanted it to end.


--------------------
hmm...

Edited by CodeLion (03/17/14 07:33 AM)

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Re: DMT: hellish panic [Re: CodeLion]
    #19707544 -

CodeLion said:
Kief Ledger said:
Its not even really letting go to start, its more of OK you did this to yourself, lets just get through it.  I think it gets a little easier with time, or at least the knowledge that you will come out unscathed on the other side.  But all that goes out the window when that all encompesing doomed,  I've done it this time, feeling hits.


Has it passed for you eventually? I'm going to try much a lower dose tonight and see if that helps with the panic aspect
but it was pretty intense fear.


It comes and goes.  And honestly, sometimes it s those lower doses, that sort of keep you bound to this world, that keep your ego fighting the experience.  Once your there, there's too much going on to remember to feel fear.

You could also try changa.  it will allow you to take small hits, at a much more leizurely pace, until you get where you want to be.  It will allow you time to adjust, rather than being catapulted.

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Re: DMT: hellish panic [Re: Sickbeard]
    #19707553 -

Sickbeard said:
You just have to try again and again. Remember it's not about controlling the panic or being brave, it's about realizing that there's nothing you can do. There's no point in even trying. Whatever feelings come up, feel them. If you're going through hell, keep going. Don't stop. Don't resist. Don't even try to interpret or make sense of what's happening. Close your eyes, lay of your bed and float. The more you relax, the better you will start feeling. The better you start feeling, the more you will want to relax. Once you totally let go you will want to do it again and again. The very idea of a bad trip will seem silly. Don't be discouraged.


Well put:thumbup:

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