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Impossible Social Phobia Problems
    #16329772 -

So ever since middle school, I have had terrible social phobia issues. I cannot initiate conversations with anyone, I cannot communicate well even when someone initiates a conversation with me and I cannot speak to people over the phone due to a phobia of voices on telephones that I don't really understand myself. All this comes together and completely destroys my self esteem once in a while, and I become severely depressed. Even certain topics can "activate" this depressed state, usually people talking about each others' social lives and the envy of something I really desire but can't attain causes it. I have been taking an SSRI for it since January, and while I have noticed a significant improvement in my comfort around people, it has not made it any easier for me to start talking to people. I also smoke weed, but I know for a fact that it is not what causes my problems, as I hadn't started smoking weed until late high school, and I'd been having problems since middle school. Now my question here is, how on earth do I get over this? It seems like a complete trap because I can't "tell myself" that these fears are made up. It just doesn't do anything and I just become trapped again. I really don't know what to do anymore and it sucks. Any suggestions?

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Re: Impossible Social Phobia Problems [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #16329926 -

and you know what the good part about all this is?

is that it's alright. theres nothing wrong with who you are. the problem is, is that you aren't comfortable with this. why fight it, just be who you are. easier said than done, but it can be done. i go through this shit a lot as well, sometimes it's severe, sometimes it's not. i see some improvement though so i must be doing something right. lets do this man, you and me. lets be ourselfs and fuck what anybody else thinks.

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Re: Impossible Social Phobia Problems [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #16331376 -

You know, I do like when people are supportive, and I thank you for it, but man, I just can't handle feeling this way anymore. And you're right, I'm not comfortable with it, but that's because this isn't who I really want to be, not because I think there's something wrong with me (though there is). I want to at least have the option of having more friends, and right now I'm too shy to even consider this, and when the day is over, I'm trapped in a shell thinking about killing myself to not have to be who I am anymore. It's a vicious circle and it's absolute shit.

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Re: Impossible Social Phobia Problems [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #16332663 -

Nothing wrong with you. I was in the same position you, no friends or social skills. I use to think I was autistic.
All you need to is face your fears and problems, don't run away or turn to drugs. I did both them and it makes it worse in the long run! Now, I am 10 times better than I was. I can socialise normally. I can flirt and charm women. I am noy scared to do things on my own. I still have some improvement and I will get there.

You can do it, do not tell yourself you cannot. Start small. Say hi to random people. Talk about stuff YOU feel comfortable about, people may find you weird if it's unusual stuff but fuck them ALL. Try to not give a shit about other people say.
People will lie to themselves that they happy having no social or sex life. They are in fucking denial. That's a knee jerk self defense mechanism and the EASY way out.

It's time for YOU to start stop taking the easy way out bro. You CAN do it and it WILL take along time, it dosen't happen over night!!!


--------------------
Pain is temporary. It may last for a minute or an hour or a day or even a year but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it will last forever.

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Re: Impossible Social Phobia Problems [Re: daz01] * 1
    #16332686 -

You won't get over it. I've tried every medication and therapy available since middle school. I'm 23 now and can't even leave the house without being fucked up on benzos, ketamine, or drunk. I have friends but we rarely hang out when I'm sober. I hate myself and think about suicide every day. It never gets any easier. You can't just talk yourself out of it either. It's like the voice in the back of your head has taken control of your consciousness.

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Re: Impossible Social Phobia Problems [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #16333376 -

I don't know what to say about the post above.

Most people get over it I believe. Anon #3, I am sorry that you are having difficulty.

Doing drugs right now might not be the best idea. It's okay to feel pain - you don't have to escape from it. I was in the same position as you. I agree with everything Daz has said.


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Re: Impossible Social Phobia Problems [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #16333507 -

i have similar problems , i have to pretend to be interested in others , i usually show tension and nervousness on my face in any work situation and also struggle for words.
its not as bad as it used to be though , i used to think people were observing me when doing day to day shit like looking for a dvd at the video store , would then get self concious and look nervous as if i just stole something.
i also get horrific stage fright when i will drip sweat off my forehead on a winters day before any public performance.
it really sucks .


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I only do legal drugs like alcohol , tobacco and valium so fuck off and die :goat:

:

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Re: Impossible Social Phobia Problems [Re: daz01]
    #16333526 -

See, the thing about this is that it's all easier said than done. Telling me to face my fears isn't going to help me do it. I really appreciate the friendly responses here though. Also, I don't run away from my problems or use drugs to make them stop. If I was running away, I wouldn't be here looking for good ways to combat it. My one problem with forums, however, is that most people who have had a problem with this simply grew out of it (this is what happens to the folks who one day just decide for themselves to face all their fears and then they're done, this doesn't happen to me), or don't have it as bad as I have it, and believe you me, I have it extremely bad.

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Re: Impossible Social Phobia Problems [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #16333792 -

you really have to give this a try. no one here can motivate you as much as you want to be. you really have to get up and face your problems without turning back. its not easy, you are not the only who has an extremely tough time with this. no matter how hard it is you have to keep trying. i find that it is much harder to handle when you are not in good health. exercise, run, do some sit ups, work out everyday if you could. eat a lot of fruits and vegetables and just keep working yourself. when you are in good health you will start feeling better, maybe not all the way, but it will be enough to start progressing. the healthier you are, the stronger your mind will be. a strong mind will allow you to resolve many of your issues with much ease. start taking better care of your self, ABSOLUTELY no drugs, this includes meds. all natural only.

i'm telling you man, stay away from all drugs and eat good foods(fruits, vegetables, etc.). detox your body, fasting can help rid of bad toxins from your body, and can also strengthen your concentration through the discipline of refraining from the addicting pleasures of life. trust me man, do what im telling you and you will feel a little better. its no instant cure, which is what you were probably looking for. i don't think there even is an instant cure out there, and if there was it probably wouldn't last very long. think of it like building a ladder to get to high area. if the ladder is not firm and grounded then it can shatter very easily, but if you take your time and carefully watch every detail then there no doubt that you will make a strong ladder, that you can climbed with ease. you might even make a strong enough ladder that even others will be able to climb it. :wink:

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Re: Impossible Social Phobia Problems [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #16334085 -

Anonymous said:
See, the thing about this is that it's all easier said than done. Telling me to face my fears isn't going to help me do it. I really appreciate the friendly responses here though. Also, I don't run away from my problems or use drugs to make them stop. If I was running away, I wouldn't be here looking for good ways to combat it. My one problem with forums, however, is that most people who have had a problem with this simply grew out of it (this is what happens to the folks who one day just decide for themselves to face all their fears and then they're done, this doesn't happen to me), or don't have it as bad as I have it, and believe you me, I have it extremely bad.


Fuck off dude. See. This is exactly what I mean. You are making excuses and running away. People with bad anxiety always make the excuses. "I'll do it tomorrow...." "I don't need to go there...." "I can't do it, I really can't, I have an anxiety problem, it isn't my fault!".
You don't have any fucking idea how fucking bad I was. I never left the house. I had panic attacks if I did. I never "grew" out of it. It took me 7 years to get where I am and I still need to make progess. Like you, it started in school, I was bullied badly, lost every friend, blah blah. I was about 11 to 12 years old then. Did you even read my post? THIS SHIT TAKES TIME AND IT'S A DAMN SLOW PROCESS, unless you go run to medication/drugs.  There is no damn quick natural fix.
If you are the frame mind you are now, you give up now cause you gonna keep going with the excuses.
As I said, START SMALL! What scares you now? Leaving the house? Go step outside the door, walk 3 ft, go back in. Going to the supermarket? Go to entrance, however far you can get, stand there until the anxiety becomes unbearable. FORCE YOURSELF OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE ONE STEP AT A TIME!

Good luck dude. No fucking excuses!!


--------------------
Pain is temporary. It may last for a minute or an hour or a day or even a year but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it will last forever.

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Re: Impossible Social Phobia Problems [Re: daz01]
    #16334434 -

Well I don't want to make anyone angry, but I'm starting to have a problem with what you're saying here. Everything that doesn't involve 24/7 self-torture is an excuse and I don't follow that idea. That's bro psychology right there, and maybe if you were a real life friend you'd be helping by saying that stuff and helping out with it, but otherwise, nop. Trust me, it may work for you, and no offense to your own methods, but self-therapy is not for me. I'm going to get someone to make me an appointment with a therapist tomorrow, so yeah. Also, I'm not into natural whatever, so maybe I don't fit in here completely, but it's just something I couldn't care less about. Modern drugs are really just wonderful things.

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Re: Impossible Social Phobia Problems [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #16338371 -

Quote:
Anonymous said:I also smoke weed, but I know for a fact that it is not what causes my problems, as I hadn't started smoking weed until late high school, and I'd been having problems since middle school.


No, you don't know for a fact. It is normal to have social phobias as a teenager, it is not normal as an adult. How you can be seemingly mixing drugs and think they have no effect on your psyche is amazingly naive. A common side effect of Marijuana use is social anxiety.

Anyway it seems you know best, so don't heed my advice.

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Re: Impossible Social Phobia Problems [Re: Jwlst]
    #16342089 -

This is being over thought, Its simple. People are social animals, stop secluding yourself and go to a damn bar. Youve lost all social skills isolating yourself next to a computer, go outside.


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Re: Impossible Social Phobia Problems [Re: daz01]
    #16350498 -

daz01 said:
Anonymous said:
See, the thing about this is that it's all easier said than done. Telling me to face my fears isn't going to help me do it. I really appreciate the friendly responses here though. Also, I don't run away from my problems or use drugs to make them stop. If I was running away, I wouldn't be here looking for good ways to combat it. My one problem with forums, however, is that most people who have had a problem with this simply grew out of it (this is what happens to the folks who one day just decide for themselves to face all their fears and then they're done, this doesn't happen to me), or don't have it as bad as I have it, and believe you me, I have it extremely bad.


Fuck off dude. See. This is exactly what I mean. You are making excuses and running away. People with bad anxiety always make the excuses. "I'll do it tomorrow...." "I don't need to go there...." "I can't do it, I really can't, I have an anxiety problem, it isn't my fault!".
You don't have any fucking idea how fucking bad I was. I never left the house. I had panic attacks if I did. I never "grew" out of it. It took me 7 years to get where I am and I still need to make progess. Like you, it started in school, I was bullied badly, lost every friend, blah blah. I was about 11 to 12 years old then. Did you even read my post? THIS SHIT TAKES TIME AND IT'S A DAMN SLOW PROCESS, unless you go run to medication/drugs.  There is no damn quick natural fix.
If you are the frame mind you are now, you give up now cause you gonna keep going with the excuses.
As I said, START SMALL! What scares you now? Leaving the house? Go step outside the door, walk 3 ft, go back in. Going to the supermarket? Go to entrance, however far you can get, stand there until the anxiety becomes unbearable. FORCE YOURSELF OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE ONE STEP AT A TIME!

Good luck dude. No fucking excuses!!


Great post, man. Great post.


--------------------
:niffla:

ACADEMY AWARD WINNING ACTOR
WG32 KILLED HOFFA
PROFESSIONAL BALL BUFFERER
WORST NEIGHBORHOOD YARD OF 2026 WINNER
OTD’S FORMER PRODIGAL SON
TODAY IS BEER DAY

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Re: Impossible Social Phobia Problems [Re: Nifflerz]
    #16350536 -

I got social anxiety too, OP. I became detached somewhere along the line and started to separate myself from the crowd, if you will. Growing up, I had zero social phobias. Plenty of friends. I was even in with the stupid ass "in crowd" in High School. But then I started to want to be more alone. I dug the loner lifestyle. Then I started getting fucked up alone. Smoking out alone. Tripping alone. And worst of all, drinking alone. Eventually I became a full fledged alcoholic (which I am still battling every fucking day), and now -- I can't even step into a single social situation without drinking. Seriously. The other day, I went to meet up with a group of coworkers that I rarely hang out with. I was literally shaking on the walk up to the bar (hadn't had a drink yet) because I knew all eyes were going to be on me. There was like 8 of them.

It's fucking pathetic. And dude, this shit for the both of us, and whomever else has social anxiety, isn't going to fix itself.

He's right, man. You, me, whoever -- gotta fix it on our own. That's the only way.


--------------------
:niffla:

ACADEMY AWARD WINNING ACTOR
WG32 KILLED HOFFA
PROFESSIONAL BALL BUFFERER
WORST NEIGHBORHOOD YARD OF 2026 WINNER
OTD’S FORMER PRODIGAL SON
TODAY IS BEER DAY

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Re: Impossible Social Phobia Problems [Re: Nifflerz]
    #16357357 -

Just imagine everyone in their underwear.

Seriously. Sometimes I feel really intimidated by social sitiations and talking to people. I'll think faster than I can talk, say something stupid, and turn bright red. I always felt like I was on the outside looking in. I began to force myself to be more confident. Even be a little cocky. Hawaiian shirts, sunglasses, a big loud grin on my face. I wanted to be like Jack Nicholson or Raoul Duke. Walk around slowly (pimp walk) with good posture and try your best to make eye contact with people (I still have some eye contact problems, though). Try to crack jokes and make chit chat with people.

Don't put on a fake voice and demeanor when talking with people you don't know or barely know. My brother does this. The waitress asks "What would you like tonight, sweetie?" and he replies in a deep monotone robot voice. Makes me cringe. Just relax, and let your thoughts and words flow freely. Social fluency just takes practice. Sounds scary, but if you tell yourself that you are better than everyone, It doesn't matter if you come off as pompous or mean-spirited. Even be a little obnoxious or immature if you want. That's okay at first. You need to just "not give a fuck" about other people for a little bit. Just long enough to let yourself know that people aren't going to be criticize you for your every move.


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X___________________

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Re: Impossible Social Phobia Problems [Re: bananaman]
    #16359310 -

Same here, I think I fucked up my social skills bad drinking all throughout my teens and beyond, as once I stopped living a drunken stupor I now find it incredibly hard to relax or communicate with my peers.

Xanax has kind of helped, but it also kind of zombies you, plus the severe dependence issues make it a less desirable fix. Xanax doesn't fix it either, but takes the edge off for me.


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Girlfriend doesn't like your grow? DUMP HER NOW!

Mescaline Exctraction Tek for noobs (like me)

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Re: Impossible Social Phobia Problems [Re: bananaman]
    #16359682 -

bananaman said:
Just imagine everyone in their underwear.

Seriously. Sometimes I feel really intimidated by social sitiations and talking to people. I'll think faster than I can talk, say something stupid, and turn bright red. I always felt like I was on the outside looking in. I began to force myself to be more confident. Even be a little cocky. Hawaiian shirts, sunglasses, a big loud grin on my face. I wanted to be like Jack Nicholson or Raoul Duke. Walk around slowly (pimp walk) with good posture and try your best to make eye contact with people (I still have some eye contact problems, though). Try to crack jokes and make chit chat with people.

Don't put on a fake voice and demeanor when talking with people you don't know or barely know. My brother does this. The waitress asks "What would you like tonight, sweetie?" and he replies in a deep monotone robot voice. Makes me cringe. Just relax, and let your thoughts and words flow freely. Social fluency just takes practice. Sounds scary, but if you tell yourself that you are better than everyone, It doesn't matter if you come off as pompous or mean-spirited. Even be a little obnoxious or immature if you want. That's okay at first. You need to just "not give a fuck" about other people for a little bit. Just long enough to let yourself know that people aren't going to be criticize you for your every move.


Good stuff, man. Good stuff.


--------------------
:niffla:

ACADEMY AWARD WINNING ACTOR
WG32 KILLED HOFFA
PROFESSIONAL BALL BUFFERER
WORST NEIGHBORHOOD YARD OF 2026 WINNER
OTD’S FORMER PRODIGAL SON
TODAY IS BEER DAY

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Re: Impossible Social Phobia Problems [Re: c1dh3d]
    #16359685 -

c1dh3d said:
Same here, I think I fucked up my social skills bad drinking all throughout my teens and beyond, as once I stopped living a drunken stupor I now find it incredibly hard to relax or communicate with my peers.

Xanax has kind of helped, but it also kind of zombies you, plus the severe dependence issues make it a less desirable fix. Xanax doesn't fix it either, but takes the edge off for me.



--------------------
:niffla:

ACADEMY AWARD WINNING ACTOR
WG32 KILLED HOFFA
PROFESSIONAL BALL BUFFERER
WORST NEIGHBORHOOD YARD OF 2026 WINNER
OTD’S FORMER PRODIGAL SON
TODAY IS BEER DAY

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Re: Impossible Social Phobia Problems [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #16370348 -

You need to find a niche, something your good at. Get really good at something, doesn't matter what it is, to bring your confidence up. You'll always be shy, thats just your disposition; which is 100% fine, Im shy as hell too. Just find a way to get your confidence up.


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And cause I was a gazillionaire, and I liked doin it so much, I cut that grass for free.

First PF Grow Log
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