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so, some missionaries just knocked on my door.
    #15760648 -

i didn't know who they were until i opened it. i also had a nice, frosty mug of beer in my hand and am wearing some house shorts that have recently acquired a blatant and unfortunate rip in the crotch/front leg area - they're really old. my eyes are most likely dilated from taking a rather substantial dose of 2ci at 1am this morning. i also haven't showered (i just got in from my outing). 

i was asked "is everything alright?"

my face:



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I'm up to my ears in unwritten words. - J.D. Salinger

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Re: so, some missionaries just knocked on my door. [Re: millzy]
    #15760654 -

Haha. Fucking hilarious.


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Your god is dead, and I killed him.

When you’re lost, here I am. Forever with your soul


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Re: so, some missionaries just knocked on my door. [Re: King Klick]
    #15760689 -

That's awesome. The last time we gotta visitors like that I answered the door flying on god knows what, and wearing a shirt that said "Drop Acid, Not Bombs". They've never been back.


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Re: so, some missionaries just knocked on my door. [Re: Dark_Star]
    #15760696 -

:lolsy:
I would love to hear some of the missionaries stories of the craziest looking people , I bet they've seen some funny shit in their time


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Re: so, some missionaries just knocked on my door. [Re: Dark_Star]
    #15760702 -

ftr, i wasn't rude to them at all. i wished them good luck and said i was fine and didn't need any assistance and said "god bless" and sent them on their way.


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I'm up to my ears in unwritten words. - J.D. Salinger

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Re: so, some missionaries just knocked on my door. [Re: millzy]
    #15760743 -

I told some missionary folks that approached me public once that I found God through LSD.

They were like :lolwut:


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Re: so, some missionaries just knocked on my door. [Re: millzy]
    #15760744 -

Tell them you knew that God was going to send them.
When they ask "uh, how did you know that?"
Tell them you know all about God's plan.
When they respond that such knowledge is preposterous, just smile and say exactly. :cool:


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http://pavlov77.tumblr.com/
http://futurevspresent.com/

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Re: so, some missionaries just knocked on my door. [Re: Jessica Swift]
    #15760760 -

The best thing to do is lead them to your basement and have your way with them.  It's what god would want.

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Re: so, some missionaries just knocked on my door. [Re: millzy]
    #15760780 -

hahaha:grin:. 
I was walking out to my car yesterday and feelin kinda spacey and all of a sudden 3 women wearing all black appeared out of no where in front of me. I jumped and gasped. It was 3 morman girls, they said "we didnt mean to scare you" then told me they had a message to share with me. And gave me a card. They asked if I had time to talk, I said I was gettin ready to leave but they could follow me to my car if they wanted too (not really thinking about what kind of message that could imply lol). They were not surprisingly reluctant to do that so I told them to come back some other time when they were free and we would talk more. They were actually girls about my age 20's, and quite attractive. The experience rekindled my fantasy for starting my own cult. Im sure I can do it.

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Re: so, some missionaries just knocked on my door. [Re: weshroom]
    #15760809 -

Last time i tripped those people showed up, my sober friend took care of talking to them but it still threw me off for a while.

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Re: so, some missionaries just knocked on my door. [Re: Whiteydr]
    #15760813 -

honestly, i wouldn't intentionally make someone approaching me in that way feel bad for doing so unless they initiated some sort of rudeness. to be fair, as misguided as i think they may be, they are just trying to help out, and kids their age could be out doing much worse in the neighborhood. the circumstances surrounding my appearance while answering their knock were definitely funny, but reproaching them would be unproductive and spiteful. besides, i have beer to drink and would rather save my energy for philosophical debates for class. :shrug:


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I'm up to my ears in unwritten words. - J.D. Salinger

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Re: so, some missionaries just knocked on my door. [Re: Jessica Swift]
    #15760820 -

i lived/worked in salt lake city for 3 years.  Now, im not a mormon, but a lot of my family are.  My great uncle, he was the 6th president of the mormon church, and the one who built the great temple in SLC.  He is considered a prophet and shit like that.  (my opinion is, he was a nut-job, like a lot of my family)
  So, on sat/sun, these mormons--always 2 of them--would cold call on my house.  I'd invite them in, and tell them my great uncle was Wilford Woodruff, the 6th pres of the church. (And he really is)  They would nearly fall down and suck my dick they were so honored to be in the presence of a person in the lineage of The Prophet.
  After they started talking, i would get up, go to the kitchen, and pour a double shot of scotch, and offer them one.  They'd suddenly be like... :shocked:  then i would tell them, i was pretty sure i found the meaning of God, when i saw the movie 2001: A space odyssey. That the little baby floating in space was the rebirth of man in the form of christ. 
  After that, they usually had to suddenly go. 

  They would never come back.


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:smug: [/url][/url] 
:smirk: IF THE NEIGHBORS COMPLAIN BECAUSE THE MUSIC'S TOO LOUD, TURN IT UP SO YOU CAN'T HEAR THEM BITCH    :smirk:

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