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so fucking tired of fighting with migraine pain
    #12567969 -

I don't expect an answer from you, but since you are interested I thought it would feel good just to write everything out and know that someone knows it.
I am very discouraged right now. Despite how excited I am to start teaching high school science to low income students in the fall, despite how thankful I am to have a decent salary and a nice job in a great school, and despite the fact that I just graduated, my family is in town, and things are going better than ever with my girlfriend, I am feeling very angry right now. The problem is, I have nobody--nothing--to be angry at.

I started a gluten free diet in an attempt to lessen the amount of migraines I get. However, since may 1st, I've had 6 migraines. 5/9, 5/10, 5/13, 5/14, and then today the 15th have all been full of pain for me. And being gluten-free is miserable-- can't eat at restaurants, can't order a pizza, can't have bread or pasta or tortillas... nothing with wheat in it. It's hard. But I'd do it if it meant no more pain. The bitch of it is that through all the painstaking effort to maintain a gluten-free lifestyle, my migraines are worse than ever.

My neurologist is an asshole, not to mention a bad doctor. He refuses to answer calls after hours or on the weekend without charging $75 for a phone consult. Since he is my only doctor right now, I really don't know who to talk to about my migraines. The fact that I have had one for the past three days has me filled with resentment. I don't know why I resent him, maybe because even though he was on the list of "Chicago's Best Doctors", he hasn't done shit for my migraines.

I was once asked, hypothetically, what I would think of the suggestion of quitting all drugs. I said no way man. Then I was asked how my answer would change if it meant no more migraines. Absolutely, I said. Well I did quit all drugs. No alcohol, cigarettes, pot, shrooms, acid; only my prescribed nortriptyline every night before bed (for prevention of migraines ... ha!) and fish oil. But when the weather changes from nice to raining and i get a migraine regardless of the wheat i eat or drugs I took, it makes me upset at myself for even thinking I could do something about it.

Last month there were a couple times when I went 6 or 7 days without a migraine. I don't think you could even imagine the love I felt for life during those periods of time. After 2 days without migraines, I forget about them. I enjoy life, I love my friends and family, I am productive in reading books and doing any chores or work I need to do, and I smile and laugh and have fun. So what am I doing wrong that I can't have a life like that without pain or worrying when the next migraine will happen?

I know you've never had one. Neither has my girlfriend. That's what makes it so hard. Maybe they should make a Migraineuraholic support group. I just feel like slamming my fist through the wall or screaming for the cycle of pain->meds->pain to end, but there's nobody on the other end that could respond. No human who I have met thus far can do anything for me.

I'm a happy person. I just hate these god damn migraines. I'd trade them for fucking anything. I'm so tired of fighting to gain control over them.

SO
FUCKING
TIRED


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EVERYTHING IS EVERYTHING

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Re: so fucking tired of fighting with migraine pain [Re: Patisotagami]
    #12571534 -

You may grow out of them.
I used to have them as bad as that back in my 20s, ruined my life. Now, a decade later they are down to three or four a year. The accompanying depression is the worst for me. I'm feeling very lonely but at the same time I can't stand being around people. The crippling pain when the attack finally arrives often feels like relief after weeks of feeling like shit.


--------------------

"You should view the world as a conspiracy run by a very closely-knit group of nearly omnipotent people, and you should think of that group as yourself and your friends."

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Re: so fucking tired of fighting with migraine pain [Re: Patisotagami]
    #12571550 -

You know, I very honestly share your pain. I've been battling migraines all my life, ever since I can remember. My mother even thinks I might have been having them as a baby, since I would start to cry for no reason. I have tried EVERYTHING to lessen them. They come and they go. I have good days and I have bad days. I have all sorts of stupid different triggers and often different types of migraines. When I was a teen I was on so many different migraine preventative medications, but they were all bullshit. I stopped trying to prevent them with meds when my doctor put me, a 16 year old at the time, on a med that doubled as an anti-depressant. Fuck that...I was done. My whole life is so screwed up because of these migraines. They caused me to miss so much school when I was younger and even forced me to withdraw from a high school. I wish I had the money to get a CT scan just to make sure I wasn't born with a tumor or something. :sad:

I get sick so often that it's even too difficult to hold a job. So, yes, there are others like you whose lives are being overrun by their migraines.


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Re: so fucking tired of fighting with migraine pain [Re: Bay_Botanist]
    #12572216 -

I'm gluten free too and understand what you're going through although chronic fatigue/prenicious anemia/ possible hypothyroid are what I deal with. Have you tried cutting out other things too? After cutting out gluten it took me awhile to figure that other grains were hurting me too, along with anything that encourages candida (sugary, ferment-y, or artificially sweetened), of course dairy, legumes, and maybe even too many oxalates at one time.


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Remember to cut your nails regularly.


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Re: so fucking tired of fighting with migraine pain [Re: PyroBurns]
    #12572600 -

You Knoooooooooooooooow :naughty: you COULD get a prescribed Cannabis card for said migraines  :bigjoint:

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Re: so fucking tired of fighting with migraine pain [Re: CrW]
    #12572779 -

Do you have silver tooth fillings? Have you thought of the possibility of mercury poisoning?

Since you have tried everything, nothing else that you try could hurt. Maybe look into it...

http://www.amazon.com/Amalgam-Illness-Diagnosis-Treatment-Better/dp/0967616808

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Re: so fucking tired of fighting with migraine pain [Re: OHSnap]
    #12574083 -

thanks to all of you who responded.
I am interested to see what the Diamond clinic says when I see them. I'll post if anything works. But it's just hard because nothing has thus far.
Has anyone found relief from ANYthing???


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EVERYTHING IS EVERYTHING

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Re: so fucking tired of fighting with migraine pain [Re: Patisotagami]
    #12574354 -

Ever been tested for MS ?


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:Awesketch:

:cool: Fair is Fair :devil:

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Re: so fucking tired of fighting with migraine pain [Re: Patisotagami]
    #12574434 -

Um, you do know that mushrooms and acid are a great treatment for migraines, right? Why don't you try it out and see how that works for you?


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:bunny::bunnyhug:
All this time I've loved you
And never known your face
All this time I've missed you
And searched this human race
Here is true peace
Here my heart knows calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs
:bunnyhug: :yinyang2:

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Re: so fucking tired of fighting with migraine pain [Re: MushroomTrip]
    #12580870 -

MushroomTrip said:
Um, you do know that mushrooms and acid are a great treatment for migraines, right? Why don't you try it out and see how that works for you?


I was just about to say...

Have you tried a raw food diet?

There has been a lot of anecdotal evidence of people stopping migraines from moving raw.  It is a major lifestyle change, but it will benefit you in all aspects of life.

Toxic buildup can cause migraines, I get headaches when I work with solvents, etc.

Don't eat any processed food to start,  and see if they get better.  More (organic and local if possible) fresh produce.

I recommend at least once a week Hot Yoga or Sauna to help sweat out crap.


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"A human being is part of the whole, called by us 'Universe'; a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest -- a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness.

This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and affection for a few persons nearest us.

Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole nature in its beauty.

Nobody is able to achieve this completely but striving for such achievement is, in itself, a part of the liberation and a foundation for inner security."

Albert Einstein

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Re: so fucking tired of fighting with migraine pain [Re: MushroomTrip]
    #12581608 -

MushroomTrip said:
Um, you do know that mushrooms and acid are a great treatment for migraines, right? Why don't you try it out and see how that works for you?


I used to get horrible migraines in middle/high school until I started using acid and mushrooms. Haven't had one since.

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