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like Brave New World?

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Ontheisland said:

With another kid that I nannied for he was a nightmare, he would hit and bite, he screamed all the time (he was about 2 1/2) Every time he would act out I would take him into the smallest room I could find that was toy free (usually the bathroom) and sit with an egg timer- I set it to 3 minutes and told him he had to sit still and not scream otherwise it would be set back to 3 minutes...... a few hours later we left the bathroom- I probably only did this a handful of times and after the three hour incident we were in there for no longer then ten minutes- and he stopped acting out towards me altogether eventually!

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blewmeanie said:

My honest advise is to get out of that relationship. The way she chooses to raise her kid is going to eventually drive you apart.

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Grapefruit said:

Honestly spanking is not the way to go, you wouldn't spank an older child for disiplinary so why a younger child? The only answer IMO is parents who like to have a bit of power trip do this. All it brings for the child is fear and humiliation which is not a good way to treat someone in such an impressionable mindstate. Best to use things that they don't like but aren't going to cause any direct fear or suffering on them. All you need to do is give them the message that what they have done is wrong. Terror tactics tend to make people non compliant or disliking of you. People are more likely to agree with your ideas if they see you as a good role model.

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alternatereality said:

Grapefruit said:

Honestly spanking is not the way to go, you wouldn't spank an older child for disiplinary so why a younger child? The only answer IMO is parents who like to have a bit of power trip do this. All it brings for the child is fear and humiliation which is not a good way to treat someone in such an impressionable mindstate. Best to use things that they don't like but aren't going to cause any direct fear or suffering on them. All you need to do is give them the message that what they have done is wrong. Terror tactics tend to make people non compliant or disliking of you. People are more likely to agree with your ideas if they see you as a good role model.

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Yeah, I agree with this. I guess I don't understand why hitting someone is ever okay. Just because they're a child doesn't mean they're not capable of understanding that they've done something wrong without being smacked like a dog.

Maybe I only think that way because no one laid a hand on me until I was 12, which is far past the point when hitting a kid is remotely okay, but I just don't think it's necessary. If you follow through with other punishments and explain to them why what they did wasn't okay, they'll understand. Little kids are smarter than they let on.

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Bipolardox said:

I assume you would like to avoid child protective services and what not, My wife and I have 3 kids, 18 month daughter, and two boys 3 and 5 both from a previous (and very abusive)ex, by abusive i mean he bit and drew blood from the youngest when he was about 8 months old, befor the ages of 1 they would be put into the bath tup fully clothed, shower on, Ah hows that bad? no warm water. just freezing cold shower for 2 to 15 min depending on whet they did and how mad or methed out the dad was. anyway, he got in nice and deep with heroin being one of his "lighter" chioces, haven't heard from him in a couple years, ... onward. the boys throw tantrums in the stores, screaming and crying, I'm 28, so, picture a 28 year old guy, sitting in the basket of a shopping cart at safeway arm around a screaming child, and pretending to cry right al;ong with him. note these things drove me nuts with the oldest, not I see they're phases that thank GOD they outgrow. Si, why not have fun with it, throw humility right out the window. when they throww a fit, I cry right along with em (they absolutely loath it, and it makes it fun for me, so they stop, almost immediately. When they pout, I make it a point not to look at them, use perepheral viision, when they look at u (2c if your looking) abruptly turn your back, chair and all away. Again it's not their desired effect, so they stop, spankings open havd swat on the bum, last resort. I used to spray my cat with water when I caught her doing something wrong, and guess what, Kids hate it too! especially when they are in bed and talking after repeated warnings to stop, then their pillow is wet, their hair's wet, just terrible, now all I do is shake the bottle so they can hear it, and wah la! I know, what did these poor kids do in another life to get stuck with a dad like me?

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Grapefruit said:

Honestly spanking is not the way to go, you wouldn't spank an older child for disiplinary so why a younger child?

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Quote:

The only answer IMO is parents who like to have a bit of power trip do this. All it brings for the child is fear and humiliation which is not a good way to treat someone in such an impressionable mindstate.

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Quote:

Best to use things that they don't like but aren't going to cause any direct fear or suffering on them. All you need to do is give them the message that what they have done is wrong. Terror tactics tend to make people non compliant or disliking of you. People are more likely to agree with your ideas if they see you as a good role model.

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smokeybear said:

i remember when i was a little kid, i tried to throw a temper tantrum to get something.  well as soon as i got hissy, started crying, etc, my mom walked away from me

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