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Re: so this one time i went insane... [Re: LuNaTiX]
    #10305815 -

Yeah, it's amazing how realistic it is. I feel like if I can't trust these "delusions" then what perception can I trust? They all seem equally real. And why can our brains perceive this, anyway? What is exactly going on, chemically or otherwise, that allows for these strange perceptions of energy? I know my psychedelic delusions were not that different from millions of other delusions other crazy people have had. It's something evolved (of course, just because we 'evolved' something it doesn't mean it has a significant purpose), it is a product of the laws of nature. On the other hand, it seems to have no practical use in our physical reality. In fact, it has no little effect on our physical reality (brain damage being possibly the only noticeable effect in severe cases of delusion, which is actually really odd), which is the strongest argument against it.

Edited by iamconfused (05/08/09 02:12 AM)

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Re: so this one time i went insane... [Re: iamconfused]
    #10305913 -

OK, well I've been thinking about this now and I have a few more of my thoughts to share. I think I got away from tripping (I just smoke weed now or go on very light trips) because these extradimensional experiences are too radical for humans, which is why these entities act skeptical towards our presence. We're not equipped for it, our consciouses are not at a high enough level to operate in that kind of existence. It would be like trying to run Windows Vista on a computer from 1995. In those dimensions, we are the dumb animals, whereas here on good old Earth we're used to being the kings of existence.

I think it's interesting that Buddha would actually talk to 'gods', which you could easily say were just entities, and that they did not act omnipotent. In fact, they sometimes asked him questions as if he were their equal, and the gods seemed more curious and awe-struck by his spiritual advancement than anything else. He was, perhaps, one of the few humans properly equipped to operate at a higher extradimensional level. Or maybe not, I don't know, ancient religions are difficult to understand. There's too much myth, we're thousands of years separated from the events now.

That's why I have taken my spiritual advancement on a simpler, more pedestrian path. I seem to be gaining a lot more wisdom this way. I'm not going to chase other dimensions with psychedelics like I used to, because there would be no practical purpose for a being as lowly evolved as me to enter those exalted realms. I can only do what I can actually handle. Otherwise, I'll overwhelm myself and lose the ability to make meanings out of anything. What I mean is that, I can't make meanings out of such powerful dimensions. It's too far beyond my comprehension. Just because I could spiritually exist there for a time through drugs or whatever, it doesn't mean I should be there.

Edited by iamconfused (05/08/09 02:38 AM)

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Re: so this one time i went insane... [Re: iamconfused]
    #10305963 -

Excellently said, I felt asif I was ready at the time to handle this new reality, and at times almost taunted some of these entities who doubted me. But in the end, like you said, I am only a human and my mind can not handle such things. These entities were like u said about Buddha, as much interested in me as I was of them. I don't really think any of them was god, but they were something not of this world, and also they are now something I am losing touch with as I recover from schizophrenia. All I can do is wonder when we'll meet again.

I was hoping the ones who liked me could be my guardians, send me subtle messages to guide me on the path chosen for me.

also I'd like to thank everyone who posted in this thread, I enjoy talking about such things and listening to such things.

Ask yourselves... is it worth taking on new perceptions of reality when we can barely cope with our own here on earth?


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Re: so this one time i went insane... [Re: LuNaTiX]
    #10305988 -

The weirdest thing I had happen to me during my psychedelic period, as I call it, happened at night with an ex-girlfriend. I was talking about my thoughts on the universe, which always makes me cry a little for some reason (I don't actually cry, but my eyes water up and I get this strange feeling that I can't put into words, I get that feeling when I imagine the thought process behind beautiful songs and things like that too), when these different electrical disturbances started happening. The computer speakers in her basement started making buzzing noises even though they weren't turned off, which of course could be explained away. It never happened before or since (as far as I know), though. After that, we walked outside and a streetlight started flickering. Then, a couple of steps later a truck in a driveway we were walking by starting acting in funny. It sounded like the engine was trying to turn on even though no one was in the car, as if there was some energy present but not enough to fully power it. We could hear it loud and clear and it went on until we walked away.

Now, this could have been one of those shared hallucinations psychologists and scientists postulate might exist. I suppose that is what they would call it. But we experienced what we experienced, and it was the same for both of us. It wasn't a big deal, obviously, but enough to make you think...

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Re: so this one time i went insane... [Re: iamconfused]
    #10306018 -

I had many smiler expereinces, mostly walking down roads, streets lights would turn on as I was walking, which can be normal if there turning the light on in that order, but behind me the lights were turning off again in the same order.

Another time it was with birds, I was walkin through a graveyard and 100's of tiny birds were circling that graveyard some would fly right past your face. I was not the only one there seeing it though, few people were taking out there cams and video taping it and everything.

When I left they departed.

I thought my mind was controlling them, the real truth can probably be explained with science... although id like to kind of keep that as a magical experience.

These experiences were intense, and full of meaning, very powerful, they were my special little events that made me smile and think "someones watching over me and is saying something by this"

but my doctor told me it as a delusion, I tried to explain it to my parents, they just shook their head and reassured me that I am schizophrenic and I was having an episode, and that strange thoughts are normal.

Doctors say anything that you sound weird saying is a manifestation of a broken mind.

I would like to say to them... "this broken mind brought more life into my dead soul then this reality could ever take away." - LuNaTiX


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Edited by LuNaTiX (05/08/09 03:20 AM)

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Re: so this one time i went insane... [Re: LuNaTiX]
    #10306049 -

Well, we all have our own electrical fields, although I don't think scientists have an in-depth understanding of any of this. It's very confusing but could relate to that kind of phenomena. The timing was just weird for me. Your story about the streetlights reminds me of the movie Powder. Ever seen that?

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Re: so this one time i went insane... [Re: iamconfused]
    #10306056 -

Ohh I have, its a classic.


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Edited by LuNaTiX (05/08/09 03:29 AM)

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Re: so this one time i went insane... [Re: LuNaTiX]
    #10306070 -

Yeah, they showed that to me in my catechism class (Roman Catholic), which I thought was an odd choice. Although you can make parallels with Jesus and the main character, it kind of goes against the idea of there being one God or divine Son of God. It was cool, though.

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Re: so this one time i went insane... [Re: iamconfused]
    #10306099 -

Indeed, it does seem like quite an intense movie.
Funny how people fear those they dont understand eh...

I must be heading to bed soon, this has renewed my interest in my condition. I'd really like to open up a site where schizo's and those interested in the disorder to share their and view stories of their moments in psychosis. Schizophrenia is a very unknown disorder, I think a site like that could be beneficial.


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Re: so this one time i went insane... [Re: LuNaTiX]
    #10306120 -

beneficial? lol yea right...sure your right...

i dont see any damn way something you experienced could help some other person

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Re: so this one time i went insane... [Re: iamconfused]
    #10306122 -

Man, I keep having more thoughts. In my Introduction to Africa class, I was reading about British colonialists, and it struck me when one of them said that (to paraphrase): "Although Christianity is more suited to cultural advancement, Islam is more suited to the simplistic nature of the African people. Christianity would be dangerous in the hands of Africans. They would wind up doing more harm to themselves than good."

In a way, I was happier when I was Christian. I was only Christian because I was raised to be one, but when I believed in it I feel that my life was much simpler and happier. Now it feels more complicated, and not in a good way. The reason I brought up that quote is because I could see those entities making those same statements about us:

"Although a pan-dimensional existence is more suited to spiritual advancement, Christianity and the like is more suited to the simplistic nature of humankind. A pan-dimensional existence would be dangerous in the hands of humans. They would wind up doing more harm to themselves than good."

Note that I'm not supporting the idea of racial superiority with this post. I don't believe in what that British colonialist said in any way.

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Re: so this one time i went insane... [Re: LuNaTiX]
    #10306194 -

I joined the crazy side  a couple times a couple years back. IT was due to heavy drug use then triggered by a single weak experience with salvia (mixed with a bunch of other weak psychoactive substances) that set off this really strange reaction. I was previously smoking salvia 3 to 4 times a day every day for a few months on top of moderate shroom use sort of high rc use. The psychosis hit like a ton of bricks.  When i came back from the trip I felt very screwed up. I went from sober to insane in a matter of minutes. At first it wasn't that bad. I layed down in my bed to sleep hoping I was just high. When I woke up I was still screwed up.

Basically I had what you would call bipolar depression. I would be normal me(not happy just average) to very depressed every five minutes switching on and off. I didn't even have the escape of sleep as I noticed it in my dreams as well. The bipolar depression was accompanied by strong belief in syncronicities. Everything that I saw or experience correlated with me. Everything was a message.  The message would correalte with each other slowly progressing to another like a story. What (if anything) it was leading to I have no idea. There were underlying meanings to everything that I had the uncontrollable urge to understand. Thing s would repeat themselves. Think of that scene in the first matrix. I also had mild hallucinations but that wasn't too much of a set back. This lasted for about 2 months.


Second time I went a little TOO far on some DOB. Basically I went to meditate. During meditation I experienced myself being abducted by aliens. I knew it was all in my head through closed eye visuals but then again I know the mind is a powerful thing. At the end of the experience this thing happed to my brain. It was this very strange electric vibration that started at the front of my head and went in a perfect line to the back. It was uncomfortably strong. Its the  strangest thing I have ever experienced. As that happened I remember my memory of the experience quickly fading. I remember some things like before and coming back and very light recall of the actual experience but i do remember some. I think if I remembered the whole thing I would be in a  loony been right now. Too much information can be a bad thing. That experience used to touch me very emotionally just talking about it.



Basically I had your average schizophrenic experience that lasted only 3 months noticed myself becoming normal over time. People noticed me acting very different but I never ended up in the loony bin. I told no one and admitted to nothing. Im happy I never went. Its a very humbling experience. I self medicate myself with somewhat heavy opiate use to keep the odd thoughts away. I am still very different than the average person but I have always been.


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Edited by DeathCompany (05/08/09 04:11 AM)

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Re: so this one time i went insane... [Re: Mastamike1118]
    #10307975 -

So you never took mushrooms and felt the experience changed your life?


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Re: so this one time i went insane... [Re: iamconfused]
    #10308002 -

That is very true, that thought has crossed my mind more then once, Christianity is the DOS of spirituality, we arn't even ready for windows 3.1. It's quite possible indeed.


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Re: so this one time i went insane... [Re: DeathCompany]
    #10308065 -

thanks for sharing that DeathCompany, that sounds like psychosis to me. Like you said about everything was a message, i can strongly relate, I felt that there was quite a bit of symbolism, in my mind I felt as if it were almost a code made for my mind to be broken over time as I experienced life and reflected.

I hope that doesnt happen again to yeah, sounds hard on the system, psychedellics are powerful tools.

Also i have heard that meditation can trigger psychosis.


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