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LuNaTiX
Quarterback




Registered: 07/28/03
Posts: 5,142
Last seen: 4 months, 18 days
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Re: This one time I went insane.... [Re: stereolab]
#11872426 - 01/21/10 01:25 PM (14 years, 1 month ago) |
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haah funny thing is, I started doing more drugs after i went insane then before, but I stay away from mushrooms, acid, and pcp, Ive done xtc, pot, speed, perks, oxys, delodid, crack, coke and a few more. But anything highly psychoactive I try to stay away from, soem of the xtc i took was perdy trippy though, the shit around here is sketchy.
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stereolab
Wizard



Registered: 06/08/09
Posts: 941
Loc: NY
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Re: This one time I went insane.... [Re: LuNaTiX]
#11872451 - 01/21/10 01:28 PM (14 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
donteatasians said:
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stereolab said: I went insane once, for about 2-3 weeks. It was partially terrifying and paranoid, partially really surreal, psychedelic, and sort of beautiful. Hope the schizophrenia gets better for you, my friend, it's really a terrible thing (I was diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic and bipolar, but later they just considered it a "psychotic episode" cause it only happened once and went away).
same thing happended to me but i chalked it up to kudalini, same thing but better outcome. It's been 5 months and I'm still trying to really understand what happened. All I can say is it was weird, like a mushroom trip euphorea all the time and EVERYTHING seemed signigicant. In the aftermath all the things that I had been questioning had pretty much been answered and I came to a conclusion that I had been trying WAY too hard at life, it's pretty much just shit's and giggles in my opinion.
Yeah. I just thought I tuned into some arcane frequency of divine knowledge. I didn't think I existed in the same plane of reality as others, although in a way, that might have some truth to it.
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LuNaTiX said: Insanity = Symbolic to the max, everything means something subliminal.
Yeah, this is the strange part. It sort of relates to paranoia but also right-brain unification of the "big picture." I paranoia can actually help re-structure the brain in a way that is more in tuned to later reaching bliss. A lot of mystics and holy people go through a period of darkness or insanity before reaching pure happiness.
I think the weirdest example of this symbolism for my onset was: I did some silly, elaborate self-made ritual for the first time of my life, and then a few hours later met the "girl of my dreams" selling hot dogs (turns out she had a boyfriend, but we're close now as friends... weirdly enough) it's hard not to think there is significance! Now I realized, of course, it was just a bizarre synchronicity that, in retrospect, meant much less than I originally thought.
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LuNaTiX
Quarterback




Registered: 07/28/03
Posts: 5,142
Last seen: 4 months, 18 days
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Re: This one time I went insane.... [Re: stereolab]
#11872480 - 01/21/10 01:31 PM (14 years, 1 month ago) |
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Symbolic guides for ones life, over time it makes more n more sense that the path chosen for you was directed by these experiences. I understand what you mean. I don't usually talk about this to my shrink, but before I went insane, I could justify anything with logic, I could twist my morals, I could have easly taken a mans life and laughed about it the next day... so in a sense, I was given a second chance before something bad even happened.
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skatealex2
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Registered: 07/04/08
Posts: 18,699
Last seen: 4 months, 27 days
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Quote:
donteatasians said: I know it sounds like an assbag thing to say but I've been in shitty places and the only thing that was truly a cure all, along with treating yourself well with good exercise ect., was just decideing to not funcking bother with feeling shitty anmore.
word.. i think anxiety is often just mind over matter
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JapaneseEYE
Stranger

Registered: 01/23/10
Posts: 87
Last seen: 14 years, 1 month
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Re: This one time I went insane.... [Re: skatealex2]
#11886692 - 01/23/10 06:34 PM (14 years, 1 month ago) |
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Life is about learning and I wake up everyday ready for a new lesson!!!
Edited by JapaneseEYE (01/24/10 05:56 PM)
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the human abstract
malaka the werewolf



Registered: 11/30/09
Posts: 8,817
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Re: This one time I went insane.... [Re: JapaneseEYE]
#11886815 - 01/23/10 06:56 PM (14 years, 1 month ago) |
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yeah JapaneseEYE i feel ya.. i wouldnt listen to a lot of "health professionals" pretty much all of them go by the book imo. sometimes if you look hard you can find one.
groups and A.A. teach you that you need to be in the group over yourself. they use your addictive qualities against you, so dont get caught up in that.
smoke some weed, play some halo 3 dude. i never get paranoid doing that and trust me ive had a couple visits to the ward
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JapaneseEYE
Stranger

Registered: 01/23/10
Posts: 87
Last seen: 14 years, 1 month
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Re: This one time I went insane.... [Re: LuNaTiX]
#11893154 - 01/24/10 06:10 PM (14 years, 1 month ago) |
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yeah definately, they try to get u addicted to meetings.... and use that as a crutch or coping stategy.... I think that you can justify anything tho as Lunatix said
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LuNaTiX said: I could justify anything with logic, I could twist my morals, I could have easly taken a mans life and laughed about it the next day...
so it creates a problem in the sense of who is right, once u start to believe u r wrong or insane, what is the answer....
I was told different things by family and drug councilers, docs etc... but i chose to stop using hard drugs n get my head 2 getha, looking back u realise some episodes or whole weeks/ months were... Manic... or psychotic ... and u acted crazy maybe....
But i just wanna enjoy life and I feel that my past is still weighing me down. To the point where writing this is the best outlet about this in 12months... I guess I should sort out a shrink but I don't really value their opinion... and I feel like, once I start 2 deal with certain things....bomb i'm goin 2 do something stupid n I don' really know why...
I've got a gambling problem at the moment and it has been my main focus ... really 4 ages... it affects my perspective...
Seriously, I just feel depressed and what the fuck man if I ain't gonna help myself I will slip deeper in...
I just/.... do u ever wake up and wish u were not in ur skin...
despite the fact u r pretty blessed........................... so many people worse off. I should praise God, but my spirit is broken.
I feel kinda empty... robotic, and numb.
Damn I thought i'd feel better venting but now my mind is racing and .... yeah I wish I had some srooms or even some brown... this weed is good but its not enough....
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