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I have been having second thoughts about getting back on opiates lately...
    #9156147 -

I have been off of opiates for a few months now...with no real plan of quitting forever, I was mostly just wanting to take a break. My only real motivation has been the idea of getting back on opiates...one day.

But today, I kind of came to a realization. When I do get back on opiates, I will feel good for quite a while, daily use will cause my tolerance to go up, and eventually, after a few years, my tolerance will be ridiculously high...and taking a tolerance break from opiates would kind of be a no go. So I have been thinking, should I even really start doing opiates again?

The thing is, opiates have pretty much been my only motivation for the past year. If I make the decision to never get back on opiates again, I will really...have nothing to look forward to, no motivation at all. How am I suppose to create something else to look forward to in order to keep myself going everyday? Should I go as planned, get back on opiates eventually, and realize one day my tolerance to opiates will be out of control? Are there any tricks to lower tolerance while being physically dependent on something?


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"If we could sniff or swallow something that would, for five or six hours each day, abolish our solitude as individuals, atone us with our fellows in a glowing exaltation of affection and make life in all its aspects seem not only worth living, but divinely beautiful and significant, and if this heavenly, world-transfiguring drug were of such a kind that we could wake up next morning with a clear head and an undamaged constitution - then, it seems to me, all our problems (and not merely the one small problem of discovering a novel pleasure) would be wholly solved and earth would become paradise." - Aldous Huxley
:drooling:GIVE ME OPIATES OR GIVE ME DEATH:drooling:

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Re: I have been having second thoughts about getting back on opiates lately... [Re: aDoS]
    #9156198 -

do them once every two weeks. if you break the rule then SHAME ON YOU. but seriously, just try to have the will power to say enough is enough. and listen to your body. oh and btw just stick to straight opium, everything else is too dirty and WILL lead you on a road to dependence.
I would also suggest looking into your bodies natural opiates. You can really increase your opioid receptor sensitivity and increase the amount your body produces. Whether they come from exercise, sex, socializing, a good meal, a nice day, what ever. Just find what makes you happy AND healthy.

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Re: I have been having second thoughts about getting back on opiates lately... [Re: aDoS]
    #9156204 -

I was on opiates for about the previous 4 years, every day.. At 1st it wasn't really a habit, but it turned into one FAST.. To the point of being absolutely miserable if I didn't have anything, calling into work if I had to, etc.. Now I'd known about suboxone the entire time I did em, and I was able to take it if I didn't have anything - and feel decent.. But as soon as I could get high again, I would do it a heartbeat.. Now I tried stopping a few times for good w/ the suboxone, and it would work for a few days, maybe a week - but I'd start thinking about getting high again, and I'd cave in..

Well about 6 months ago, I was really getting pissed w/ myself and REALLY sick of the whole lifestyle.. I got back on the suboxone, and after a few days I started having a different outlook.. Just thinking how I didn't wanna be dominated any longer by a habit - I REALLY wanted to stay clean, deep down inside..

So here I am now 6 months later, and I've done opiates only twice since.. And I can honestly tell you, 100% truthfully, that the 2 times I did em it really did NOTHING for me.. I didn't get high like I used to, and I just thought about how I loved being clean.. I don't know if I honestly changed myself, but the fact that I didn't enjoy it is GREAT to me.. Because now, I have NO desire to do em - I still do a lil suboxone every day, but I'm fine w/ that.. It's nothing like being a slave to such an addictive thing, day in and day out..

So what I'm really saying is, you gotta REALLY wanna stop.. You can't just stop cuz you got no money, or you can't get anything - and then get high again 1st chance you get.. You gotta stop cuz YOU wanna do it, and that's really all I can say about it.. They can be sooo great, I'll admit - but it's a really evil thing.. Good luck

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Re: I have been having second thoughts about getting back on opiates lately... [Re: ChiefGreenLeaf]
    #9156220 -

Well...I probably couldn't do that. I am kind of an all or nothing person. I am not going to be naive and say I am only going to get opiated 1-2 times a week because its just not going to happen.


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"If we could sniff or swallow something that would, for five or six hours each day, abolish our solitude as individuals, atone us with our fellows in a glowing exaltation of affection and make life in all its aspects seem not only worth living, but divinely beautiful and significant, and if this heavenly, world-transfiguring drug were of such a kind that we could wake up next morning with a clear head and an undamaged constitution - then, it seems to me, all our problems (and not merely the one small problem of discovering a novel pleasure) would be wholly solved and earth would become paradise." - Aldous Huxley
:drooling:GIVE ME OPIATES OR GIVE ME DEATH:drooling:

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Re: I have been having second thoughts about getting back on opiates lately... [Re: J3illy]
    #9156225 -

And about tolerance - once you have a tolerance established, there's no "break" you can take to get it back down.. You can try, and yea - the 1st day or two you'll get high as hell.. But that's it, in a matter of days you're RIGHT BACK where you were, trust me.. I tried taking the breaks here and there, but all that ends up happening is you do more and your tolerance keeps going UP.

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Re: I have been having second thoughts about getting back on opiates lately... [Re: J3illy]
    #9156232 -

Maybe after a serious addiction, my outlook about opiates will change. But right now...I really do not want to quit opiates forever. The only thing that is really bothering me about getting back on opiates, is tolerance issues.

I really hate sobriety, with a passion.


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"If we could sniff or swallow something that would, for five or six hours each day, abolish our solitude as individuals, atone us with our fellows in a glowing exaltation of affection and make life in all its aspects seem not only worth living, but divinely beautiful and significant, and if this heavenly, world-transfiguring drug were of such a kind that we could wake up next morning with a clear head and an undamaged constitution - then, it seems to me, all our problems (and not merely the one small problem of discovering a novel pleasure) would be wholly solved and earth would become paradise." - Aldous Huxley
:drooling:GIVE ME OPIATES OR GIVE ME DEATH:drooling:

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Re: I have been having second thoughts about getting back on opiates lately... [Re: J3illy]
    #9156242 -

How bad does tolerance eventually get?

Were you still able to get high at a high tolerance, or does it just become, taking opiates to prevent withdrawals?


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"If we could sniff or swallow something that would, for five or six hours each day, abolish our solitude as individuals, atone us with our fellows in a glowing exaltation of affection and make life in all its aspects seem not only worth living, but divinely beautiful and significant, and if this heavenly, world-transfiguring drug were of such a kind that we could wake up next morning with a clear head and an undamaged constitution - then, it seems to me, all our problems (and not merely the one small problem of discovering a novel pleasure) would be wholly solved and earth would become paradise." - Aldous Huxley
:drooling:GIVE ME OPIATES OR GIVE ME DEATH:drooling:

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Re: I have been having second thoughts about getting back on opiates lately... [Re: aDoS]
    #9156248 -

aDoS said:
The thing is, opiates have pretty much been my only motivation for the past year. If I make the decision to never get back on opiates again, I will really...have nothing to look forward to, no motivation at all. How am I suppose to create something else to look forward to in order to keep myself going everyday?


I can totally relate to this, my friend - TOTALLY

Have you ever heard of suboxone?? If not, look it up and try and find a Dr. that prescribes it, or even on the streets.. As far as I can say, it's a miracle drug - because it eliminated my hungry habit, and has quenched my desire ever since, not ever looking back.. When I used to get clean for a little while I'd be in the same predicament you're in - just thinking about doing em so bad.. But w/ suboxone, it ain't like that at all.. I'm all done w/ that shit.. Sure, I mess around w/ other stuff now - but NOTHING is worse than an opi habit..

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Re: I have been having second thoughts about getting back on opiates lately... [Re: aDoS]
    #9156263 -

aDoS said:
How bad does tolerance eventually get?

Were you still able to get high at a high tolerance, or does it just become, taking opiates to prevent withdrawals?


Well it's weird.. I wouldn't call it "just to prevent withdrawals", but it comes to a point where you DON'T get what you'd call "high".. You go from feeling totally shitty, to just regular.. It still feels good obviously, but it's really just cuz you GOTTA do it..

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Re: I have been having second thoughts about getting back on opiates lately... [Re: aDoS]
    #9156270 -

A person bearing strange resemblance to myself in days gone past once held similar convictions about those scrumptious molecules that parade around in endorphin costumes. He never felt like there was much to look forward to in life and kept an ample supply of these molecules around, enough to bind to receptor'aplenty for many fortnights. Just having them shored up his enthusiasm about life, because of course, he could always dip into them and they would take him out of the bitter cold and wrap him in warm blankets and give him hot coco to sooth his soul.

This person was very well researched on the particulars of opiates and had driven some fundamentals into his mind concerning their consumption. First, never more than once every three days, and even that was pushing it. Second, never more than 15mg at once. Effectively, this prevents tolerance, and therefore addiction, and therefore the only really bad potential side effect of using opiates! Even five years after that first taste and many a pill and cup of PT down the hatch, this person retains a baseline tolerance and no overwhelming compulsion to use opiates. He has found that willpower is like a muscle: the more you use it, the stronger it becomes, and the stronger it becomes, the better you feel about yourself and the less you even want to use drugs like opiates at all.

He is a shameless self-promoter when it comes to his recipe for successful opiate use, because it has worked great for him. He bought a big bag of pills nearly a year ago and many of them remain to be munched, and likely will remain so for a long time to come. He recommends not using opiates if you don't have remarkable willpower, because they do erode it. 

What I really recommend to you is finding something you can pursue and be motivated with that doesn't concern opiates. They can't shore you up forever, as you've realized. If you do go back to using, develop a plan like mine (ie USE SPARINGLY) and stick to it, or else you're almost guaranteed to encounter the nasty wrath of opiates which makes all the any of the pleasure they deliver not worth it - or so I hear anyway, because I've never had to deal with it myself. Opiates used to be like a medication to me, and I treated them that way. Only as much as I needed, and only as often as it wasn't going to lead to problems. On the few instances I did push it, they stopped being like a medication to me and I vowed to not abuse them again.

To tell the truth, I'm just really not that excited about opiates anymore. I relish a good post-run or mtn bike ride's endorphin surge as much as I ever did any opiates and those activities have several benefits of their own: you can do them with other people, you get outside and get healthy, and you aren't sitting around thinking about whether or not you should pop a pill. Also, opiates really just aren't that good compared to...DMT/MDMA/etc.

Use wisely grasshoppa.


--------------------
Entropy is increasing.
To send me a PM, go to my journal

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Re: I have been having second thoughts about getting back on opiates lately... [Re: aDoS]
    #9156292 -


IMO an opiate addiction is not a good thing, at all, in any way, and there are plenty of other ways to exist happily without using them. 

I've never become dependent on opiates but I've had some pretty long runs of use.  There's a lot of death anxiety involved for me in the sober days after using opiates.  I feel they can only lead one on a downward spiral and towards a confrontation with death.  Death can be more healthily approached in other ways.

edited for bullshit


--------------------
“Strengthened by contemplation and study,
I will not fear my passions like a coward.
My body I will give to pleasures,
to diversions that I’ve dreamed of,
to the most daring erotic desires,
to the lustful impulses of my blood, without
any fear at all, for whenever I will—
and I will have the will, strengthened
as I’ll be with contemplation and study—
at the crucial moments I’ll recover
my spirit as was before: ascetic.”

Edited by Lion (10/30/08 12:54 PM)

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Re: I have been having second thoughts about getting back on opiates lately... [Re: aDoS]
    #9156611 -

I feel you man, opiates is the only anti-depressent that works for me too


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Re: I have been having second thoughts about getting back on opiates lately... [Re: AmericanPsycho]
    #9156650 -

fucking seriously

and as long as I am not on a nodding dose, I can complete work just fine while being opiated


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"If we could sniff or swallow something that would, for five or six hours each day, abolish our solitude as individuals, atone us with our fellows in a glowing exaltation of affection and make life in all its aspects seem not only worth living, but divinely beautiful and significant, and if this heavenly, world-transfiguring drug were of such a kind that we could wake up next morning with a clear head and an undamaged constitution - then, it seems to me, all our problems (and not merely the one small problem of discovering a novel pleasure) would be wholly solved and earth would become paradise." - Aldous Huxley
:drooling:GIVE ME OPIATES OR GIVE ME DEATH:drooling:

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Re: I have been having second thoughts about getting back on opiates lately... [Re: aDoS]
    #9156841 -

Tell me about it.. There's this stigma of someone high on opiates, sitting there nodding like a zombie lol.. Well that's not how it was for me.. I was a waiter, and I LOVED getting high before work.. I did a great job and had so much fun.. But when you get deep into a habit it ain't worth it.. I was spending ALL my cash on my habit, and it took a while for me to realize I had to snap out of it..

Again, it was Suboxone that allowed me to do this.. Anyone w/ a habit - look into it, seriously!!

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good luck with that one [Re: aDoS]
    #9156887 -

well, i started using opiates and it kept getting worse. years later i was snorting/smoking black tar all day everyday. i think my dwindling fear of needles kept me from shooting. thank god, because i have two close friends that died as a result of using heroin. i know plenty of others that have been revived several times. my last roomate was revived 3 times before he decided to quit.

i got pulled over and searched by the cops and got away with bt in my fucking pocket!  i think that "god" was giving me a last and final warning. anyway, heres what i think about opiates:

i understand why christians believe in the devil. because there is a devil within each of us. opiates work like this. at first its amazing and life is great and theres a low tolerance. then, as i became more and more dependant upon it, the high got less and less. eventually i was just using them to avoid feeling like shit. i wasnt even getting high at all.

they dont work for anything other than recovery from surgery or similar. long term and im fucked. also, they keep mushrooms from working for me, its just a bad trip. i am an opiate addict. for sure. it sucks. ive only been clean for 2 yrs 5 mo. and im still recovering from that shit. if i go back to using opiates i might as well just kill myself now, because there is no point in living on that shit.

i wish you the best man.

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Re: I have been having second thoughts about getting back on opiates lately... [Re: aDoS]
    #9156911 -

my friend, you're facing addiction in the face, right now.  these thought processes you have are that of addiction

there is no right or wrong choice.  you know that physically you're better off without them, but mentally you've convinced yourself you aren't (mentally better off without them).  there will be something, in time, that will instill motivation in you.  what it is, i dunno, but there will be something other than opiates.  i wish i had more to offer you


--------------------
channel your inner Larry David

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Re: I have been having second thoughts about getting back on opiates lately... [Re: demiu5]
    #9156974 -

demius said:
there will be something, in time, that will instill motivation in you.



Like what??


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Re: I have been having second thoughts about getting back on opiates lately... [Re: AmericanPsycho]
    #9157163 -

maybe an attractive female or something

but I think opiates are easier and more pleasurable


--------------------
"If we could sniff or swallow something that would, for five or six hours each day, abolish our solitude as individuals, atone us with our fellows in a glowing exaltation of affection and make life in all its aspects seem not only worth living, but divinely beautiful and significant, and if this heavenly, world-transfiguring drug were of such a kind that we could wake up next morning with a clear head and an undamaged constitution - then, it seems to me, all our problems (and not merely the one small problem of discovering a novel pleasure) would be wholly solved and earth would become paradise." - Aldous Huxley
:drooling:GIVE ME OPIATES OR GIVE ME DEATH:drooling:

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Re: I have been having second thoughts about getting back on opiates lately... [Re: AmericanPsycho]
    #9157220 -

AmericanPsycho said:
demius said:
there will be something, in time, that will instill motivation in you.



Like what??



sometimes we find motivation/reason for living in things either long forgotten, taken advantage of, or new things come our way.  there is no certain "what" as it could be anything


--------------------
channel your inner Larry David

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Re: I have been having second thoughts about getting back on opiates lately... [Re: aDoS]
    #9157761 -

aDoS said:
maybe an attractive female or something

but I think opiates are easier and more pleasurable


Jesus wouldn't approve :nono:


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A society whose whole idea is to eliminate suffering and bring it's members the greatest amount of comfort and pleasure is doomed to be destroyed -Thomas Merton

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