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OfflinePuzzledMind
Stranger
Registered: 01/30/05
Posts: 2
Last seen: 12 years, 7 months
Help me understand/cope with my homosexual thoughts.. *not graphic*
    #3704187 - 01/30/05 10:26 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

Alright, I'm a long time reader and first time poster. I know that the Shroomery has alot of open minds so I figured the Shroomery health forum would be a fairly good place to post this. I'm not SURE, but I think. If I'm wrong and this post isn't cool, go ahead and delete it.

I'm just having trouble coping with the homosexual thoughts that I find myself having more often than I'd like. I mean..I just don't know what to think. People (whoever people is) say that everyone has a homosexual thought/dream/fantasy sometimes, but I mean..I have them more often than just "some point in my life". And it's not like I run from these thoughts either. I embrace them, I enjoy them, but..I'll run the risk of saying too much for one thread,..I'll *enjoy* the thoughts I have, but *later* I feel really disgusted. I mean, it's not ONLY when I'm already arroused that I'll have these thoughts, but I have them predominately when I'm arroused.

Some other aspect though..these thoughts are PURELY sexual. I mean..I can see like, living with a guy, and many times I can very much see sleeping with one, but like..certain things. Like KISSING a guy just has no appeal to me. And that confuses me? What does that mean? Is that wierd? How can I be fairly comfortable with very very homosexual thoughts but not be OK with thoughts of a mere kiss?

And also, this kind of bothered me. It's not like I spot guys that I think are hot..it's just not like that. I mean..if I'm thinking of a male, it's always someone I know. Someone that I really care about. I'd never tell these people this though, that's just not something they need to hear. But it's like..I'm not just like..arroused by the male anatomy. It's only sometimes..only some people. It makes me wonder if this is just something completely different, or what. I just dont know =(

I hope I haven't said anything to disgust or offend anyone. I'm really not trying to, nor am I trolling. I just want some advice. This is a hard subject for me recently, and thanks to the Internet I can talk about it.

Feel free to PM me if you have anything else to tell me that you don't want to post.


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Offlinebaraka
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Re: Help me understand/cope with my homosexual thoughts.. *not graphic* [Re: PuzzledMind]
    #3705073 - 01/31/05 01:11 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

You make no mention of girls at all in your post. Have you had relationships / fantasize about them too.


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This is the only time I really feel alive.


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Invisibleswm
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Registered: 01/29/03
Posts: 236
Loc: Ohio
Re: Help me understand/cope with my homosexual thoughts.. *not graphic* [Re: PuzzledMind]
    #3705077 - 01/31/05 01:12 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

I really can't give advice on this subject.Odds are you're just confused it happens to allot of young people.If it is really bothering you maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to talk to a psychiatrist.
I'm not saying there's anything wrong with you everybody's different.It might help you though to talk to a real Dr..
Good luck man,I hope you work through this and figure it out.


--------------------
I can't spell and I have poor grammar.The crap I just posted is proof enough.


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Offlinezahudulallah
Sexual Heretic

Registered: 10/21/04
Posts: 10,579
Loc: Tokyo, Japan
Last seen: 12 years, 4 months
Re: Help me understand/cope with my homosexual thoughts.. *not graphic* [Re: PuzzledMind]
    #3705243 - 01/31/05 01:41 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

Try dating both women and men. Just date whoever, meet people. Fall in love with whoever. If you fall in love with someone I'm sure you would enjoy kissing them. Maybe that's your hang up on kissing, it's too intimate? Perhaps you are comfortable with kissing someone who care about. I'm guessing you might be bisexual? I'm gay myself and I love making out with guys, one night stands or someone special.  :confused: I hope it all works out for you.


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OfflinePuzzledMind
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Registered: 01/30/05
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Last seen: 12 years, 7 months
Re: Help me understand/cope with my homosexual thoughts.. *not graphic* [Re: baraka]
    #3707601 - 01/31/05 03:18 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

Hello all, thanks for the replies.

Well, baraka, your reply got me thinking. I mostly do fantasize about girls until fairly recently. I've had little episodes like this in the past but not for this long and not to the extent of recently. It's males that I can't stop thinking about at the moment, but, this could be a wierd phase. That's why I'm here. But I've never dated. I've never dated anybody, that's my hang up. I have lots of friends, but I just haven't had a relationship/fling/anything with either sex. How do I know I would enjoy a male? I don't. How do I know I would enjoy a female? I don't. I'm kind of guessing, but I mean..what you enjoy sexually can't be too hard of a guess right?

Maybe I'm just going nuts from having nobody for close to 20 years and this is just some crazy thing I have gotten myself into. I really don't know =(


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OfflineQuantumMeltdown
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Re: Help me understand/cope with my homosexual thoughts.. *not graphic* [Re: PuzzledMind]
    #3707746 - 01/31/05 03:54 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

My best advice to you is if you are unsure of your sexual orientation that you at least try a girl friend first. I mean first of all its the natural thing and its an easier safer lifestyle to live straight as opposed to gay that is. If you find that you are not aroused by a woman than it could be that god really did leave your tray of cookies in the oven for to long and you turned fruitcake. Its a jungle out there kiddies.


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-QuantumMeltdown

Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself.
  -Mark Twain

"The time has come the walrus said, little oysters  hide their heads, my Twain of thought is loosely bound I guess its time to Mark this down, Be good and you will be lonesome
Be lonesome and you will be free
Live a lie and you will live to regret it
That's what livin' is to me
That's what livin' is to me"
Jimmy Buffett


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InvisibleTODAY
Battletoad
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Registered: 09/25/03
Posts: 10,218
Loc: Metropolis City, USA
Re: Help me understand/cope with my homosexual thoughts.. *not graphic* [Re: QuantumMeltdown] * 1
    #3709242 - 01/31/05 08:19 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

you speak ignorantly, to be blunt.  you may have good intentions but, in the least, your diction needs improvement.

to the original poster, i think you should just fall in to whatever comes naturally to you.  don't discount an experience w/ either sex and don't feel guilty about your thoughts or actions if you follow through.  there is internet dating if that's more your style...some people just have a tough time meeting other people (me for instance :smile:, but i don't really do that bad).  good luck.


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ca'rouse (k-rouz)
intr.v.
To engage in boisterous, drunken merrymaking.


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InvisibleYarry
Old Timer
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Registered: 01/05/04
Posts: 23,740
Re: Help me understand/cope with my homosexual thoughts.. *not graphic* [Re: TODAY]
    #3709745 - 01/31/05 09:30 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

TODAY! my drinkin buddy, get back into OTD!


--------------------
Grumpy Old Man.


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InvisibleKingOftheThing
the cool fool
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Re: Help me understand/cope with my homosexual thoughts.. *not graphic* [Re: PuzzledMind]
    #3709769 - 01/31/05 09:35 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

i think u should just go fuck a guy and if you like it keep fucking guys, if not stick to women


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InvisibleTODAY
Battletoad
Male

Registered: 09/25/03
Posts: 10,218
Loc: Metropolis City, USA
Re: Help me understand/cope with my homosexual thoughts.. *not graphic* [Re: Yarry]
    #3709945 - 01/31/05 10:08 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

YarryShroomer said:
TODAY! my drinkin buddy, get back into OTD!




ha, hell yeah...i can't do OTD, i got too addicted so i quit :p.


--------------------

ca'rouse (k-rouz)
intr.v.
To engage in boisterous, drunken merrymaking.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Help me understand/cope with my homosexual thoughts.. *not graphic* [Re: QuantumMeltdown]
    #3710303 - 01/31/05 11:03 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

QuantumMeltdown said:
My best advice to you is if you are unsure of your sexual orientation that you at least try a girl friend first. I mean first of all its the natural thing and its an easier safer lifestyle to live straight as opposed to gay that is. If you find that you are not aroused by a woman than it could be that god really did leave your tray of cookies in the oven for to long and you turned fruitcake. Its a jungle out there kiddies.


Well said. Good advice.


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Invisibleshroomydan
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Registered: 07/04/04
Posts: 4,126
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Re: Help me understand/cope with my homosexual thoughts.. *not graphic* [Re: PuzzledMind]
    #3710432 - 01/31/05 11:32 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

I'm going to be blunt, so please don't be offended. Stop whacking off so much! It saps the life force which should be driving you into a relationship with a real person. It also leads to perversions. By perversion I mean a twisting of the sexual drive away from its natural purpose towards something negative.

If you find the idea of kissing a girl intriguing, but are disgusted by the idea of kissing a guy, then you are probably strait. If you feel bad about yourself after engaging in homo fantasies, then how would you feel if you actually acted out one of those fantasies? You would probably hate yourself. There is more to a relationship than sex, and you need to focus on those other aspects. Think about intimacy and love and see where your heart leads you. I suspect you will find yourself drawn to a woman.


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Offlinerepemon
journeyman
Registered: 04/25/04
Posts: 158
Last seen: 12 years, 5 months
Re: Help me understand/cope with my homosexual thoughts.. *not graphic* [Re: KingOftheThing]
    #3711791 - 02/01/05 05:34 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

KingOftheThing said:
i think u should just go fuck a guy and if you like it keep fucking guys, if not stick to women




:laugh::D

Da bottom line!


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- When the time stops, evil ones will be pointed out for all to see.


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OfflinePhluck
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Re: Help me understand/cope with my homosexual thoughts.. *not graphic* [Re: shroomydan]
    #3712388 - 02/01/05 10:56 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

I'm going to be blunt, so please don't be offended. Stop whacking off so much! It saps the life force which should be driving you into a relationship with a real person. It also leads to perversions. By perversion I mean a twisting of the sexual drive away from its natural purpose towards something negative.

Who told you that, your grandma?


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"I have no valid complaint against hustlers. No rational bitch. But the act of selling is repulsive to me. I harbor a secret urge to whack a salesman in the face, crack his teeth and put red bumps around his eyes." -Hunter S Thompson
http://phluck.is-after.us


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Offlineareyoumylight
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Registered: 01/24/05
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Re: Help me understand/cope with my homosexual thoughts.. *not graphic* [Re: Phluck]
    #3735056 - 02/05/05 02:05 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

Heh I remember when I first started puberty I used to worry about being gay. This went away after a while when I found out that I'm as straight as they come, and all I can think of is girls and my eyes wander a lot, without my telling them to, at girls all over the place. I used to think getting turned on by blowjob meant I was gay, until I found out that every guy did that because it's the thought of you getting that blowjob that's the real turn on.

Even if you are bisexual, do whatever. Just try to get a more masculine GF that way you wont be an outcast. I know that sounds bad to hold it in like that, but not going with flow in life can be EXTREMELY tough on you. If you are all-out gay, go somewhere really gay like cape cod, that way you still are going with the flow. Hope that helps, and maybe I gave you the advice you were looking for, maybe not.


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Offlinezahudulallah
Sexual Heretic

Registered: 10/21/04
Posts: 10,579
Loc: Tokyo, Japan
Last seen: 12 years, 4 months
Re: Help me understand/cope with my homosexual thoughts.. *not graphic* [Re: areyoumylight]
    #3735679 - 02/05/05 05:00 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

Most homosexuals are gay because they are attracted to the feminine identification in a male. A masculine female isn't going to cut it for a gay guy - in fact, it's probably the least of their interests. The more boyish a guy looks in the gay scene, the more people will consider him "cute" or "hot". The vast majority of older gay men prefer men who are under 30. In fact, surpassing the age of 30 can be very traumatic to a gay man.


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OfflineMetaShroom
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Re: Help me understand/cope with my homosexual thoughts.. *not graphic* [Re: zahudulallah] * 1
    #3735880 - 02/05/05 05:37 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

I was in a similar place to you a while ago. I used to fantasize about sucking my friends willys  :smirk:.  As these feelings didn't go away, and I realised it wasn't just "a phase" I began to think I might be bi or gay.  Although I had fancied girls in the past, and was quite comfortable with the thought of having sex with a woman, there was something missing there. For example, when I walked down a crowded street looking at the people passing by, I could imagine having sex with quite a few girls and guys my age, but it was only the occasional really attractive guy that 'clicked' in my head and made me think 'phwoaar!' :tongue:.

The idea of anal sex kind of put me off... i thought i was some weirdo who fancied only guys but only wanted oral sex with them. However I found out that a lot of gay guys (upto 30%) dont go in for anal anyway, so that let me feel more at ease with my sexuality... i also didnt identify with the whole gay culture thing, and all the stereotypes of camp/flamers etc.. but thats just a load of crap perpetuated by the media.. most gay people you couldnt tell, they are just like regular guys... 

Anyway I have now met a nice boyfriend who showed me fuck lol, and consider myself 95% gay...I don't think it really matters how you define youself.. just ignore any pressures to conform to anything and be true to yourself. If you are curious about something there is no harm in trying! The internet is a great place to meet local people these days.

btw I think the fancying your friends thing is just because they are the only males around who you are close to, if you meet a few gay people you like and get on well with then that should change.


--------------------
:sleepingcow:  :penguinmonkey: :blah:

JOIN MAPS -> www.MAPS.ORG


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OfflineInfinite Mind
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Registered: 11/06/08
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Re: Help me understand/cope with my homosexual thoughts.. *not graphic* [Re: PuzzledMind]
    #9886487 - 02/28/09 09:40 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

PuzzledMind said:
Alright, I'm a long time reader and first time poster. I know that the Shroomery has alot of open minds so I figured the Shroomery health forum would be a fairly good place to post this. I'm not SURE, but I think. If I'm wrong and this post isn't cool, go ahead and delete it.

I'm just having trouble coping with the homosexual thoughts that I find myself having more often than I'd like. I mean..I just don't know what to think. People (whoever people is) say that everyone has a homosexual thought/dream/fantasy sometimes, but I mean..I have them more often than just "some point in my life". And it's not like I run from these thoughts either. I embrace them, I enjoy them, but..I'll run the risk of saying too much for one thread,..I'll *enjoy* the thoughts I have, but *later* I feel really disgusted. I mean, it's not ONLY when I'm already arroused that I'll have these thoughts, but I have them predominately when I'm arroused.

Some other aspect though..these thoughts are PURELY sexual. I mean..I can see like, living with a guy, and many times I can very much see sleeping with one, but like..certain things. Like KISSING a guy just has no appeal to me. And that confuses me? What does that mean? Is that wierd? How can I be fairly comfortable with very very homosexual thoughts but not be OK with thoughts of a mere kiss?

And also, this kind of bothered me. It's not like I spot guys that I think are hot..it's just not like that. I mean..if I'm thinking of a male, it's always someone I know. Someone that I really care about. I'd never tell these people this though, that's just not something they need to hear. But it's like..I'm not just like..arroused by the male anatomy. It's only sometimes..only some people. It makes me wonder if this is just something completely different, or what. I just dont know =(

I hope I haven't said anything to disgust or offend anyone. I'm really not trying to, nor am I trolling. I just want some advice. This is a hard subject for me recently, and thanks to the Internet I can talk about it.

Feel free to PM me if you have anything else to tell me that you don't want to post.






Quit jerking off that simple


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Invisiblezorbman
blarrr
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Registered: 06/04/04
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Re: Help me understand/cope with my homosexual thoughts.. *not graphic* [Re: PuzzledMind] * 1
    #9886897 - 02/28/09 10:58 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Sexuality is fluid- it isn't black and white.

The majority of people are attracted to members of both sexes whether they care to admit it or not so rule #1 is don't repress your feelings or feel guilt. Just own your own feelings and accept responsibility for your behavior. Guilt is a totally useless emotion.

Trying to decide whether you are this or that is a false choice- don't fall into that trap.

Be honest with yourself and don't be afraid to explore your feelings and urges. That is the only way for you to really learn where you are on the spectrum of sexuality and you go from there..


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“The crisis takes a much longer time coming than you think, and then it happens much faster than you would have thought.”  -- Rudiger Dornbusch


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OfflinePDU
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Re: Help me understand/cope with my homosexual thoughts.. *not graphic* [Re: zorbman]
    #9887798 - 03/01/09 02:03 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Tough to give advice in this situation because of your sexual inexperience (straight or gay.)

It sounds like you might be embarassed or ashamed by the tone of your post ie. *not graphic* + "feel free to delete this if its gone too far"

Anyways, i dont think you should feel embarassed or ashamed.

That said - i identify with partnering with a male. From a functional standpoint - i dont really like women, most of them are too irritional and impractical. Having a male partner as a purely convenience move makes sense to me. (similar interests mainly + less bullshit + irrational emotional bullshit.)

I however, find the male anatomy very unattractive and dont really seeing myself being satisfied sexually by a male. --

at this point i dont see myself being sexual with a man -ever.

That said - when considering a partnership - i value the relationship and having similar interests and lifestyle over sex anyday. Sex is on the bottom of my list of *important things to consider in a partner.* -- this is important to conside.

I am open to anything really + if i found meaning and pleasure from a partnership with a man in the future, id roll with it. Although i deem that unlikely - probably because we are conditioned to fear homosexuality because of the stigmas attached to it...

I think its normal to be uncertain sometimes - in alot of ways i think its healthier to question your sexuality than to take it for granted.

I say, just go with the flow. Open mind is key.


--------------------
GO OUTSIDE.


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