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Lack of Identity?
    #8304947 -

I often find myself being overwhelmed by the simple daily interactions with people. What are some ways which can fortify my self-awareness and strengthen my sense of identity?


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Re: Lack of Identity? [Re: AlteredAgain]
    #8304987 -

It's quite frustrating because this goes for family and close friends as well. Somehow I just seem to get blown over by the energy and it leaves me feeling like I'm not being my natural self. :undecided:


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Re: Lack of Identity? [Re: AlteredAgain]
    #8305013 -

I feel the same way...
being egoless so many times while tripping has brought me to a place where I don't like to play social games so much anymore..
and to some people it seems odd or rude
but I just don't wanna play the game

nothing wrong with that, it seems, except when everyone else is playing the game...


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Just say NO to the War on Drugs.

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Re: Lack of Identity? [Re: Plok]
    #8305070 -

I do distance myself from the game a lot. In me it's a kind of anxiety.. that when I meet someone and the person says "Hello," that I will doubt my ability to interact and be self-aware in dialogue.

It just seems to me that I don't have this band in my aura called "identity." It really makes it hard to maintain my boundaries with others.


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Re: Lack of Identity? [Re: AlteredAgain]
    #8305103 -

Seems to me you can't have an absence of identity, at least not from an external perspective. Are you just worried that your persona is fluctuating too much, that people aren't getting the real you, etc?

Because if so, don't worry about it. They'll have their perceptions of you no matter what you do; it's in your interest to act in a manner that leaves you content.

I feel like I should let you know that I've had the same problem as you, but I'm getting over it.

If you smoke pot, take a break.


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funky ass music: Planet of Dinosaurs // Rich Whiskey

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Re: Lack of Identity? [Re: AlteredAgain]
    #8305144 -

I find that taking time to physically relax and center myself before interacting helps a lot.  Before I say anything these days I just make an effort to focus on my breathing, let all my muscles go loose and focus on the light inside of me, the same light that is within everyone else too.  I just focus on calm, flowing energy.  I do not think ahead in any way.  Thought of the future is what creates doubt in the Now.

Acknowledging that we are all the same below the surface is what helped me with my social anxiety.  We're all the same Being.  (I like to talk to people like I am talking to myself)

:hug:  All you have to do is be...no need to scramble about looking for an identity to be perceived with.  No need to think of the future when there is only the present. 

The book, 'The Power of Now,' is really helping me with identity issues at the moment. 

:heart: Hope I helped some...

Edited by MOTH (04/19/08 04:56 PM)

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Re: Lack of Identity? [Re: MOTH]
    #8305185 -

Thanks, you did. :smile::heart:

I just have to do that which makes me feel content inside. Let my natural impulses validate my identity, and allow it to be strengthened through my actions.

I'll heed the advice and give the pot a break, after 420 of course. :stoned:


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Re: Lack of Identity? [Re: AlteredAgain]
    #8305209 -

AlteredAgain said:
I often find myself being overwhelmed by the simple daily interactions with people. What are some ways which can fortify my self-awareness and strengthen my sense of identity?


Maybe you are just being shy? :shrug:


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:bunny::bunnyhug:
All this time I've loved you
And never known your face
All this time I've missed you
And searched this human race
Here is true peace
Here my heart knows calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs
:bunnyhug: :yinyang2:

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Re: Lack of Identity? [Re: MushroomTrip]
    #8305956 -

pot gave me social anxiety too, so i did more drugs and took xanax to counter it.

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Re: Lack of Identity? [Re: 420inchrims]
    #8306456 -

Right now, you suffer from having a "no identity" identity.

Next week, if you begin smoking crack, you will suffer from having a "crackhead" identity.

One month from now, if you sober up, you will suffer from a "i am sober" identity.

Is there such a thing as an identity? Did you ever lose one? Can you ever gain one?

*Appleorange does not suggest that you smoke crack to help find yourself.

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Re: Lack of Identity? [Re: appleorange]
    #8306635 -

Lol Thanks for the laugh appleorange

You know, AlteredAgain, you're not alone. My brother and I were *just* talking about this not a week ago. We talked about how we mirror other people's behavior. It seems like he has it harder than I do, to the point of him not knowing who he truly is, or which of the way that he act is really him. I feel like I'm on just on the first steps of the "me pyramid." I am striving to reach that apex, but it's a slow journey.

Some things I have been trying is, as the other posters have mentioned, think about what's below the surface. When I consider that I am the exact same as the person I am interacting with I almost instantly get a wave of contentedness flowing over me. Then If I can keep my awareness away from myself, things go well.

I found that when I drink I feel like my individual quirks become more pronounced, so I can see what I'm really like. I realized later that the reason why drinking allows my individuality to come out was a lack of self-awareness.

I'm trying to figure this out myself and the best that I have come up with is: lose your self-awareness as much as possible, live in the moment, and don't take it so seriously. Gaining self confidence is great too, but you'll probably gain self confidence once you do the above and find out that it's all good.

& yeah slow down on the smoking if you do - at least to see if that's factoring in. I have slowed down because of this and I think it's helped, but it's hard to say. I feel like smoking saps energy out of my entire being and that inherent energy is what supports my identity, so I think it actually is helping. Though I do have friends that smoke often and have the most pronounced personalities that I know of...you are the best judge of yourself.

OH yes I also realized the other poster who mentioned your internal vs. external identity is I think right on. I have realized after seeing this as a problem and talking to friends about it, they have basically seemed confused when I told them - telling me that I have very strong characteristics....so maybe it can come down to self-acceptance and looking for the positives in who you are (?)

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Re: Lack of Identity? [Re: fazdazzle]
    #8307271 -

The problem is you are looking for an identity. You are forcing it. If your actions are what identifies you, then how is thinking about it helping?

I've had this problem many times in the past. Being confused on who I am exactly, and spending lots of time trying to define myself. But you can't, really. Your identity flows, and taking a snapshot of your past self and applying it to imagined future experiences doesn't work and confuses you. You can't really tell yourself what you do.

Just be, and you will find yourself. It's not really satisfying, I know. But we are the type that thinks too much. I am far far too introspective for my own good, I know that.


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Remember to cut your nails regularly.


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Re: Lack of Identity? [Re: PyroBurns]
    #8307404 -

I think we spend our whole lives discovering who we are. But i think in the end our identities are infinite and evolving. It makes it hard to find a reference point.

The only time your identity becomes defined is if you limit your perception of it. Its the same with everything we perceive. When i see a rock on the ground, i have to limit my perception of it to define it. I have to categorize it and label it. I have to ignore that it is actually an infinite object. If i didn't it would be beyond my comprehension, it would have no solid form.

Edited by DimensionX (04/20/08 09:54 AM)

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Re: Lack of Identity? [Re: DimensionX]
    #8307996 -

I appreciate the logical responses everyone. Looks like I'm better just letting this go.  :sonar:


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Re: Lack of Identity? [Re: AlteredAgain]
    #8309051 -

AlteredAgain said:
It's quite frustrating because this goes for family and close friends as well. Somehow I just seem to get blown over by the energy and it leaves me feeling like I'm not being my natural self. :undecided:


join the club. i would type more but am forced to use onscreen kboard =(


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notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."

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Re: Lack of Identity? [Re: MOTH]
    #8309063 -

MOTH said:
I find that taking time to physically relax and center myself before interacting helps a lot.  Before I say anything these days I just make an effort to focus on my breathing, let all my muscles go loose and focus on the light inside of me, the same light that is within everyone else too.  I just focus on calm, flowing energy.  I do not think ahead in any way.  Thought of the future is what creates doubt in the Now.

Acknowledging that we are all the same below the surface is what helped me with my social anxiety.  We're all the same Being.  (I like to talk to people like I am talking to myself)

:hug:  All you have to do is be...no need to scramble about looking for an identity to be perceived with.  No need to think of the future when there is only the present. 

The book, 'The Power of Now,' is really helping me with identity issues at the moment. 

:heart: Hope I helped some...


thx moth thats a good perspective


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notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."

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