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I'm too serious, I really need to figure out how to lighten up in general.

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I would start there.  Don't take yourself so seriously.    We're all fools and it's okay.  All of us have a ton of personality traits that we hide and like to keep in the dark.  Psychedelics just shine the light around and bring them to the surface for us to examine.  Nothing bad or good about it; it just is.  Don't think of those traits as something to "fix" or do away with.  Trust me; you don't want to get into battle with yourself.  All you need to do is ACCEPT who you are, even the shadowy not-so-nice parts.  Accept that you're fine the way you are, flaws and all, and love yourself.  It's hard to love parts of yourself that seem monstrous and dark, I know.  But it's really just as easy as saying, "fuck it" and deciding to.   

So fuck it...you're a wonderful person and I feel your light coming through even if you don't...

Laugh at yourself dude...it'll feel so fucking good.  Be a flawed fool like the rest of us. 

Anonymous said:

-I could use someone to talk to..someone who can just fucking relate with me so I feel more grounded, normal, and like everyone else.

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thecornking said:

Anonymous said:

-I could use someone to talk to..someone who can just fucking relate with me so I feel more grounded, normal, and like everyone else.

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trust me, everybody else is not normal, even those who seem to be completely grounded - or normal.

we are all human, we all have faults and frailties. i think those who you consider to be "normal" may be better able to hide their wierdness to the world. or, maybe with your anxiety issues, you are too focused on how your un-normalness appears to others to notice the un-normalness of everyone around you?

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Anonymous said:

So, I'm kind of starting to come down from a bad mushroom trip, and really wanted to get some stuff out.

-I am a selfish person
-I am lonely
-I try too hard
-I feel too unique, but suspect that I'm going through the same shit that a lot of other people are
-I am a very anxious person
-I am socially awkward and lack in many good true friendships (as well as relationships with girls), though I have a couple people that are really close to me
-Sometimes I crave attention
-I hate the fact that I am making this thread
-I'm too serious, I really need to figure out how to lighten up in general.
-I think and analyze way too much
-Being an introverted person can suck
-I have low self esteem
-I feel like I have more issues than everyone else
-I could use someone to talk to..someone who can just fucking relate with me so I feel more grounded, normal, and like everyone else.
-I don't know how to go about fixing all these personality traits.

The mushrooms are definitely pointing all these issues out to me. While I would like to say they are an exaggerated result of me tripping, I actually think they are pretty accurate.

My brain needs to chill the fuck out right now. > <

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origami.octopus said:

i feel the exact same way at times.

had one of those days today actually.

it can be real tough to face the world, and it can seem so callous and dark. its hard to keep the light inside alive. i've always had problems with depression, and i really dont want to be taking all sorts of medicine for it. Staying medicated seems like denying your feelings, and numbing yourself emotionally.

Being judged by the world seems really hard to face too. Trying to act "normal" to feel less judged isnt the answer, but i dont know anything else to do.



i dont mean to hijack the thread or monger for sympathy, but i feel like i can relate.

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OP here,

I think we are definitely on a similar page origami.octopus.

I really understand what everyone is saying about how everyone has a lot of problems, everyone is different, and that the key is accepting oneself, but it seems like a lot of work to be able to live out those ideals.

I have always felt like I have issues coping with the world/life in general...a lot of the time it just all feels very confusing, pointless, and heavy.  I guess this weight could be a result of depression ((depression caused by not living out said ideals?)).  And I agree with you about not taking meds.  I would rather suffer through it than cover it up and add a degree of falseness to my life and personality.



So, my plan:

I am just going to start trying my hardest to do the things everyone has taught me today...lighten up, stop being so emotionally driven, accept myself and others for the flawed humans we are, and not caring what other people think of me so much.  I think this could be difficult. There are still significant parts of me that completely reject all of these good ideas, no matter how much I agree with them.

As for the social awkwardness, I am hoping that I can manage improving that by simply applying more effort, as well as living my life without anxiety about what other people will think of me as a person.  I also need new friends...the ones I have now really just aren't the right crowd for me.  I really really need to connect with some people that are like me.  I haven't done that in a long, long time.

Oh, and of course, more mushrooms sometime in the future.  I see them in a completely different light now.  They can be very, very helpful in bringing about awareness and change in people.  I very much agree now that there is no such thing as a bad trip.

Alright, I'm done with my stoned rambling.   Thanks again everyone, you are all very awesome people for taking the time to help out.  I feel like there are good things to come.  I learned more about myself and life in the past 24 hours than I have in the past year.

By the way, I would still very gratefully accept any commentary and opinions if anyone else has them.  I am finally getting some guidance and direction in my life, and I will take all I can get.

Anonymous said:

I feel like there are good things to come.  I learned more about myself and life in the past 24 hours than I have in the past year.

By the way, I would still very gratefully accept any commentary and opinions if anyone else has them.  I am finally getting some guidance and direction in my life, and I will take all I can get.

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  It's really nice to know there are others in the boat with me.

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sometimes lately I get so sick of my own inner whining, I dunno about you..

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Quote:

Are you a person with creative inclinations? ...

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I'm coming to terms with the fact that my happiness is tied inexorably with what i DO. And I DON'T mean my job!

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Once again, I can relate.  Since moving out of my parent's house and into the world, I've discovered that the sole thing in life that keeps me happy is change and experience.  Right now I am stuck in a year long lease, and midway through pointless ass college.  I feel like if I got out and started doing all the traveling and stuff I want to do, my life would be happier.

Taking a weed break seems like a good idea.  I've been pondering the idea of it lately but haven't made an effort.  Maybe this bowl can be my last...until the time is right again. 

that is how i was about 10 months ago, and had been for a while, and still am to some extent

1) you fear your death; to the best of your ability realize that you can't hold on to any of this.  trying will only make things worse

2) start talking to people (as hard as it may seem at first).  you're definitely going to have some conversations that crash and burn, and that's okay .  but after talking to enough people, you'll either stumble upon someone who shares interests as you, or you'll find someone who hates the bs small talk and you'll have a connection


3) you're completely different from anyone but also just like everyone else.  embrace it.  if you feel like standing out and grabbing attention then do so, if you don't at the time, then don't.


4) we are all selfish to some extent.  i'm working on this one


5)  i doubt it's a matter of trying too hard; more like not knowing when is the right time to stop trying anymore.  sometimes you just can't win or make something do what you want it to (which is another problem altogether)

Quote:

-I'm too serious, I really need to figure out how to lighten up in general.
-I think and analyze way too much
-Being an introverted person can suck

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