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Invisiblepurity
 
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Registered: 06/16/02
Posts: 1,007
some disturbing stuff i figured out while tripping
    #1359444 - 03/09/03 04:06 AM (14 years, 2 months ago)

[this entire post is fictional; ESPECIALLY the "tripping" part, officer!]

When i was coming down from my last trip, my thoughts were flowing pretty freely, which is what usually happens when i start to come down, and i managed to figure out some pretty disturbing stuff. I realized how much our world has turned to complete shit and life is not even fun any more; just difficult. I realized that I have nearly no self-esteem which contributes to my extremely anti-social, never-leading-the-house behavior and that I am extremely depressed at all times. This, along with the fact that ive realized my brain is 50x more fucked up without drugs because at some point in my life ive gone mad, leads to my constant drug-use; im 16 and ive tried things i dont think i should ever have felt the need to (ab)use (coke, smack, pcp, meth, countless pills, several hallucinogens, and every other possible drug i could get my hands on). and personally, i cant see this routine stopping. I actually thought about it and could see absolutely no down side in cutting my throat and wrists until i bled to death (this was while tripping, mind you), but thank god those feelings passed after talking to my mom and realizing i did not want to put her through that.
Usually, any negative thoughts pass within a week after a trip but these thoughts have impacted me much harder considering how absolutely correct they are. Any suggestions on what i could do to feel any better?


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Invisibledownforpot
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Re: some disturbing stuff i figured out while tripping [Re: purity]
    #1359541 - 03/09/03 05:27 AM (14 years, 2 months ago)

Man, I have the problems, but I havent done as much shit as you have.


--------------------



http://www.myspace.com/4th25


"And I don't care if he was handcuffed
Then shot in his head
All I know is dead bodies
Can't fuck with me again"


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Invisiblematts
matts

Registered: 01/28/02
Posts: 3,649
[Re: downforpot]
    #1359561 - 03/09/03 05:41 AM (14 years, 2 months ago)



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Invisibledownforpot
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Re: some disturbing stuff i figured out while tripping [Re: matts]
    #1359573 - 03/09/03 05:52 AM (14 years, 2 months ago)

so you're saying to go out and become depressed is shit dont work out?


--------------------



http://www.myspace.com/4th25


"And I don't care if he was handcuffed
Then shot in his head
All I know is dead bodies
Can't fuck with me again"


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Invisiblematts
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[Re: downforpot]
    #1359583 - 03/09/03 06:01 AM (14 years, 2 months ago)



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Invisiblepurity
 
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Re: some disturbing stuff i figured out while tripping [Re: matts]
    #1359612 - 03/09/03 06:25 AM (14 years, 2 months ago)

I have gone out a lot. I used to enjoy going to parties, socializing, visiting places, all that good stuff. but ive always felt somewhat unhappy or even just a little out-of-place. i will take your advice though and see where it takes me, even cut down on the drugs maybe.

it might just be the damn weather down here in panama city making me a little crazy; its supposed to be sunny and spring-break-like, but its been grey and gloomy for the last week and a half.


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Invisiblematts
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[Re: purity]
    #1359632 - 03/09/03 06:38 AM (14 years, 2 months ago)



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OfflineEarth_Droid
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Re: some disturbing stuff i figured out while tripping [Re: purity]
    #1361549 - 03/09/03 11:27 PM (14 years, 2 months ago)

I can totally relate. The only thing that chears me up is to accept who I am. Just concentrate on what you are good at. If you enjoy doing drugs in your house, not going out, and playing on the computer, ok great. Enjoy the things you have, and don't have any desire to do anything else. At least then, you might have a better image of yourself and your reality. And that gives you more confidence, which in turn might influence you to try doing other things. Don't feel like you have to do things just because other people do it. Most parties I have been to were a complete waste of my time anyways. I just go to raves occasionally now.


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Invisiblepurity
 
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Re: some disturbing stuff i figured out while tripping [Re: Earth_Droid]
    #1361628 - 03/10/03 01:43 AM (14 years, 2 months ago)

earthdroid, i fuckin' love you!


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Invisiblematts
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[Re: purity]
    #1364133 - 03/10/03 09:36 PM (14 years, 2 months ago)



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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
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Re: some disturbing stuff i figured out while tripping [Re: purity]
    #1364383 - 03/11/03 01:44 AM (14 years, 2 months ago)

Yes. Stop your self-medicating. You are not trained in psychopharmacology. It seems like you are experiencing clinical depression. The use of "antisocial" is not accurate, what you seem to mean is 'asocial,' that you avoid social interactions. Antisocial or sociopathic characterizes the personality disorder of criminals (lying, theft, violence, lack of empathy, etc.). Loss of interest in social interaction can be part of depression.

It may be important for you to take medicines that will increase certain neurotransmitters in your brain. Using drugs like coke, speed, or exen X is gonna reduce available serotonin levels, for example, thereby deepening your depression. A psychiatrist is a medical doctor who can diagnose and treat depression medicinally. Psychotherapy may or may not be necessary. I suggest checking with your family doctor. If, as a non-medical practioner I think someone needs meds, then I refer them to a psychiatrist with my recommendations (since I do not have a DEA license to prescribe).


--------------------
γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself


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Anonymous #1

Re: some disturbing stuff i figured out while tripping [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #1364410 - 03/11/03 02:14 AM (14 years, 2 months ago)

- Post History Deleted Upon User's Request -


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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
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Re: some disturbing stuff i figured out while tripping [Re: ]
    #1365986 - 03/11/03 12:53 PM (14 years, 2 months ago)

Don't mention it.


--------------------
γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself


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OfflineCherk
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Re: some disturbing stuff i figured out while tripping [Re: purity]
    #1366574 - 03/11/03 04:30 PM (14 years, 2 months ago)

I was going through something similar to you a few months ago.  I was pretty much isolating myself and staying home all the time.  Now I feel like a new person, all it took for me was a few good books.  Part of the problem was I was surrounded by people I didn't really like.  People that I've been pals with for along time, but I felt the relationships coming to an end.  I went to parties and felt out of place and just wanted to go home.  Then I started seeking out people like me and everything has changed.  My problem was I knew I needed to seek new reltaionships but I was to pesemistic to go out and find them.  Now I'm surrounded by people that share common interests.  I'm even going to a Philosophy Seminar at CU this summer :smile:  All it takes is the realization that you need to change, and the motivation to change.


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