It was a slow day at work yesterday. All the cats are away, so the mice were at play. This guy, that I work with, an ex-truck driver, harley davidson ridin' long beard wearing country boy nicknamed 2gunBilly wanted to repay me for working on his laptop by taking me to lunch.
It was up to me to decide where to go, so I chose buffalo wild wings seeing how I expected to drink a couple of beers and play some video texas holdem and Fuck off for a couple of hours.....
So we arrived and walk up to the bar part of the restraunt and 2gun gets a seat one chair away from this guy that looked to be in his twenties, who was sitting beside a skinny little red-headed girl with hot pink lipstick and ass jacker shoes with tight little jeans on that made her booty look like a little bubble on the top her long legs. She was decent looking, but she had that persona that I stay away from. The kind of girl that after a few hours with you'd want to ass rape her with no lube.
On the other side of her, sat this man in his 60's I suppose and they were all drinking beer and taking shots of wild turkey and rumplemintz. And this was at 1:00pm during the day.
So, we sat down, ordered some brew and some food and started playing texas holdem on the remote terminals at the bar and minding our own buisness, and as time passes, the trio beside us get louder, more obnoxious and more drunk.
By the time we got our food, the punk sitting next to 2gun decided he was going to take the blazing wings challenge and eat a dozen of their hottest wings in under 5 minutes. Then there was all this shit talking going on about the hottest wings and it was nothing but a mere pissing contest. Then I heard the girl say "My daddy ate them on his birthday, but he was pretty drunk" Then I realized, it was Father, Daughter and Daughter's boyfriend that the trio was composed of.
So, as the shit talking escalated, the dude said something about "I ain't no brain cancer, I'll eat the hottest motherfuckers you got" my friend 2gun looked over at him in disgust and shook his head, and the punk said "Fuck you, I'll eat them mother fuckers" My friend said "Well, you best eat em and shut the Fuck up and not say another thing to me".
Well this wasn't good tension just grew from that point....
The dude finnally got the wings, ate them, sweated his balls off, and then ran to the bathroom, then came back declaring victory and shit....
Then he said something else to my friend to the extent of "See I told you I wasn't a brain cancer" And my friend said "Well you sure looked like a brain cancer when you ran to the bathroom panting like a dog. And I done told you once not to talk to me."
So, then the father gets in on it all talking about "You gonna let him talk to you like that? I don't know why my daughter is even with you, You're worthless, spineless and don't even have a job"
So, then the boyfriend and the girls father start arguing at the bar and told the girl to leave.
The bitch comes and sits right beside me and said "They don't wanna talk to me, so I'll come talk to you" And she sat down.... and I said, "Well, if you wanna sit by me, then you're gonna have to go find me a cigarette" So she goes and steals her boyfriends cigs off the bar and sits down and we smoke one together while she explained the situation to me for the next few minutes... All that I was able to gather was that her boyfriend and her dad were arguing.... After a bit, the boyfriend tells her to stop sitting by me and go sit down at the end of the bar by herself, which she did. She sat down at one of those video game things you see at a bar and was trying to play it....
She kept saying "Hey, come down here with me." Knowing where this was heading, I told her I would rather stay out of it. After she asked me another 10 times, my friend 2gun, said "Go ahead and go down there man, get her email address or something. If her boyfriend comes that way, I'll trip him"
So, seeing how stupidly entertaining this whole ordeal was, I thought it may be funny. When she asked again, she said she needed help with the video game she was playing. So, I told her that if she got me another cig, I would come talk to her.
So, she went and got another cigarette and her boyfriend was like "I told you to fucking stay down there" (Her old man and her bf were still arguing)
So, as I'm standing there beside her, her dad comes over and says to me. "Who the hell are you?" and I said "I'm Scott, who the hell are you?" and he replied "I'm her father" and I said "Well you must be proud" and he said, "Well, she's here with mike" and pointed at her bf at the bar... and I said "Well, that's her mistake, not mine" And he went and sat back down in his chair red faced and confused looking..... And I looked at her and I said, "how long have you been putting up with this ass hole boyfriend of yours?" And she replied "11 years" and I said "And you still haven't learned your lesson? That guys fucking worthless. I'm going to go sit back in my seat before anymore shit gets started" then she said "Oh, it's ok, He's harmless" and I said "Well, I'm not"
And I went and sat back in my chair, The guy and the old man overheard what I said and then the old man lets into him....
"You gonna sit here and let him talk to her that way? I would kick his ass, but it's your place to do something about it" By this time we have already paid our tab and are polishin off our last brew... I looked over at the old man and said "You're out of your fucking mind if you think either one of you can kick my ass." And I got up and turned to the chick still sitting at the bar demanding everyone's attention and said "You're boyfriend and your old man are both worthless fucks, you need to kick them to the curb and find yourself a real man." And walked out......
The drunk dynamic between the three was mind boggling, The bitch seemed to be hyper-Hyper-ADD and like she was half brain dead and was so anal retentive it was sick. I dunno if I would have rather skull fucked her or suffocated her.... And the guy was just a worthless dumb punk with a slack jaw living off her daddy's money and her dad was just a coward. They are living proof that alcohol is not for everyone.
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