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Shop: Mushroom-Hut Mono Tub Substrate   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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OfflineKonyap


Registered: 06/30/07
Posts: 33,945
Loc: Planet Piss
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
personal essay vs. homework
    #7478727 - 10/02/07 08:47 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

All’s Fair in Love and War
Extensive experimental research has shown psilocybin caps have quite the effect on ones persona. With that in mind or out of mind should I say, it was not an appropriate time to answer the ringing sensation coming from my jacket, but something instinctively had to be done about it. It sounded so urgent that I couldn’t bear to let it play through its song, but by the time the ear piece was to my ear I realized who was on the other line.
Accordingly she’d pick me up at eight. That was all I needed to know in order to go into my obsessive compulsive frenzy; picking up, delousing, scrubbing, making sure each hair was feng shui’d on all corners of my head. Looking into the mirror eyeing myself out I noticed the windows of my soul were quite large actually. The effects were already taking place. What was to be a night spent at my apartment looking introspectively into my conscious was now a clever game of cat and mouse, trying to keep my head on publicly as all my sense’s tumbled into an abyss.
As a result I was fresh, clean and spiffy, but no matter how organized I got myself my mind seemed to be more and more cluttered with each passing thought. Searching for the weather channel I managed to get into a fast-food commercial. However upon seeing it a second time I went into something of a complex. Seeing the future is not easily handled.
Deja Vu is one thing; you had a dream, something happened while being awake and you were reminded of your dream. Under the influence of a psychedelic substance however things get a bit more complicated. How was I supposed to go on a date when I would have to relive a memory all over again? Should I go along with it and hope it goes as smoothly as the first time or risk sending time and space into turmoil as I rearrange fate? This was something this druggie couldn’t handle.
Likewise the once quaint livings of my apartment turned into something of a mess. I managed to change the channel while the ad was running and now I was stuck figuring out how or if I could’ve chose differently.
All the while my cupboards are sliding into each other, molding into their original shape, and then abruptly returning to their state of affairs with the neighboring counter seeing as to which would be the better to hold onto the toaster. I couldn’t take the smashing any longer so I managed to discipline the cupboards, until they managed to discipline me back.
I wasn’t one to be told what to do and nothing in my apartment was going to get away with it. Open the door, why not take it off? No household object was to be using that tone of voice with me, whether it was keeping my cereal fresh or not.
I was just about ready to play out survival of the fittest when I realized I had suspected the wrong door. It wasn’t my cupboards demanding at me with their squeaky hinges, but the front door behind me instead. Suddenly time clicked back in and I realized it was my date doing all the knocking and yelling. Not being as sure as to how long she had been there I made haste as I gathered my things and departed.
Relaxing in the passenger seat had a comforting feeling. I felt a relaxed sensation come on as my life line to reality carted me to the nearest restaurant. I wasn’t much of a big spender, so worrying about what to order wasn’t an option as anything put into my stomach would find its way out the same way at this point. There was conversation, but with the topic changing every second or so I can’t gather my thoughts enough to tell you what she or I, for that matter, was talking about. A simple reaction kept her under the veil and that was all I needed until we got to our destination.
Sitting at the table I couldn’t help but notice the textures flowing every so gently around the dishes. It became somewhat odd when I realized neither of us was talking so I wrestled up a joke from my memory. It was simple, I would ask her what you call a prostitute with a runny nose and she would question in return as to my answer. This was not the case. The reply “sick,” seemed to get me into a predicament as my stomach badgered me. The simple slices of bread were now something reminiscent of a night after learning Chinese food wasn’t so harmless.
Consequently, “excuse me,” was the new punch line, but I didn’t have time for explanation. This gut feeling was coming on strong. Speed walking I managed to find my way through the maze of tables and waiters to the bathroom, in which I wrapped myself around the toilet bowl, hoping no foreign agents would present themselves as I made my appetizer the same.
Leaving the restroom was just as messy however. What was a social gathering of working class Americans dining after a long days work was now a freak show dedicated to the most unruliest of circus’. Looking for my table I couldn’t help but stare at the jumbled expressions let on by everyone. It was as if just then the God’s decided the melting point of humans was room temperature. Save my face, I was concerned who’s face would drip to the floor first. The old man was getting pretty close until the heavyset woman started making moves, inching past the wrinkles. This was too much for me to handle, so I managed to pull my date out in a paranoiac fashion.
With the wheel at my hands I was a bit nervous. Sure I was under the legal limit as far as drinking goes, but it still wasn’t my idea to drive as my date managed to put herself into a stupor under the influence of merlot. With the effects of my earlier abuse magnified I braced myself pulling out of the parking lot. The road seemed to replicate itself so I played it safe and drove towards the middle of the images. Listening to my dates’ slurs and gibberish made me wonder how strong that alcohol was anyway. While my recall wasn’t on point I still pictured myself making more sense then she did. From what I got from the mumbling I managed to put the jumbles together and made it to her home.
Using myself as a support crutch I managed to bring her inside before she could face plant on the driveway outside. Resting her on the couch I had nearly been able to catch my breath when I saw another automotive pull up outside. Questioning who it was only brought me more uncertainty. “Is there something you want to tell me?” only lead me to receive the answer, “I don’t like him anymore, don’t worry, hiccup.”
Gears shifted in my head as I realized who it could be, I was on a blind date and clearly this woman wasn’t thinking logically, so I did what I had to do and ran for the closest escape. The back door had seemed to be jammed and I could picture the ignorant ex opening the door to see me standing over his wasted girlfriend. This was no time to joke around so I did what I could and managed to lock myself in the bathroom. Things at this point couldn’t have got worse.
I was stuck between two options, fight my way out somehow in this state of mind or stay cooped up in this bathroom until boredom took over and my mind dragged me back into insanity. The walls were gathering a life of their own and it was only a matter of time before I would hear an angry pounding on the door.
Reflecting on my options only took me for a deeper spin. I looked into the mirror to concentrate only to find I wasn’t there! The walls went from a slow breathing to a quicker pace, getting more confined with each pull. Pushing against the walls seemed to only make them close in faster, so with one last breath I inhaled as much air as I could before the walls of fear engulfed me.
Waking up was quite surprising the next day. I emerged from a cupboard underneath the bathroom sink into the hazy light of the mourning trying to recall how I managed to get myself in there. My back was twisted, stomach aching and my vision called for sun shades. Opening the door silently I spotted my date passed out on the couch and a couple friends sleeping beside her. Upon closer inspection I found a woman curled up next to another man. Not what I expected, but I wasn’t complaining, as I had seemed to have found my way back into my body with out having to conform to living like a pan cake for the rest of my days.
I couldn’t find the words to explain myself. The sensations and feelings were all gone leaving me with questions as to what happened the previous night. Sometime between them pounding on the door for an hour and me screaming my head off about ripping the door off, everyone just managed to pass out. There was nothing I could say and they didn’t ask much after I filled them in, so with that I left and wondered if a call back wasn’t too much, for a madman who managed to lock himself in a bathroom.


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