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Unfolding Nature Shop: Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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asking for relationship advise, was i wrong?
    #7143695 -

So heres my question for yall....

earlier today, i asked my GF if she wanted to go with me to a close friend of mine's graduation party. alot of my oldest friends were going to be congregating there, people who rarely get togeather, and i wanted her to meet some of them...

instead, she decides to do what she does atleast 3 times a week, go up to her favorite coffee house and play texas holdem with her best friend... As i was upset with this, i told her i had to get off the phone rather abruptly, and said goodbye.


then
I texted her that It bothered me that she would choose to do somthing that she could do almost any day, instead of meeting some people that were and are very important to me.


In response she texted.....

"she wasnt choosing to play poker, she was choosing to see her best friend as she has had a bad week, and wastrying to cheer up.

Then she texted me this

You are seriously making me re-evaluate this relationship, you freak out whenever i do somthing that i want to do instead of what you want to do

Then

"'Im so fucking sick of having these fights every day....."

--------------


soooooo.... what do yall think?
am i in the wrong here?


--------------------
PEACE

:mushroom2:zippoz:mushroom2:



"in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption"

"People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."

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Re: asking for relationship advise, was i wrong? [Re: ZippoZ]
    #7143701 -

First dr_gnz and now you?

The fact that she didn't volunteer to go do this means that she didn't want to do it.  Then you hassle her about it.  She got annoyed.  Pretty simple really.  :shrug:

Do you guys fight a lot?

*Randal pats the couch*

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Re: asking for relationship advise, was i wrong? [Re: ZippoZ]
    #7143702 -

Sounds like it over dude, but don't worry nothing gets you over the last one like getting on top of the next one :wink:

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Re: asking for relationship advise, was i wrong? [Re: ZippoZ]
    #7143708 -

Sounds like she values her day to day shit over chillin' with you (on an important day, nonetheless.

As I see It, you were in the right here. You made a simple request, which she brushed off. Then, you presented her with your complaint in an (apparently) respectful way and she tripped out. Fuck that.


--------------------
History says, Don't hope

On this side of the grave.

But then, once in a lifetime

The longed-for tidal wave

Of justice can rise up

And hope and history rhyme.

Edited by MiddleFinger (07/07/07 11:22 PM)

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Re: asking for relationship advise, was i wrong? [Re: ZippoZ]
    #7143721 -

Sounds like you're smothering her, man.


--------------------
Jerry Garcia. JERRY GARCIA! JERRY GARCIA!!!!

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Re: asking for relationship advise, was i wrong? [Re: MiddleFinger]
    #7143733 -

maybe she doesn't want to meet your friends. maybe she's uncomfortable making small talk with new people or just being your sidearm while you all catch up. some people would rather stay in their comfort zone.


--------------------

ca'rouse (k-rouz)
intr.v.
To engage in boisterous, drunken merrymaking.

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Re: asking for relationship advise, was i wrong? [Re: Knoa6]
    #7143739 -

Quote:
Im so fucking sick of having these fights every day



if you really are fighting everyday then yes, she is right, you do need to reevaluate the relationship. There is nothing wrong with having fights, because what relationships is free of them, but if you're arguing over shit everyday then you need to find out why and address those issues.

Secondly texting people when you really should be talking to them is another mistake. Save texts for quick messages and light conversation, not when you have an issue with your gf that is bothering you. Things like vocal inflection and tone is very important with serious conversation, it's near impossible to interpret exactly how a person is feeling by looking at text on a phone.

Just talk with your girl, do it in person, and really try to find out why you guys (if you are) fighting everyday.


--------------------
To get really high is to forget yourself. And to forget yourself is to see everything else. And to see everything else is to become an understanding molecule in evolution, a conscious tool of the universe. And I think every human being should be a conscious tool of the universe. . . .

-JG

i really am glad you came back to us instead of taking the other path. *hug*

-A_S (RIP your final words to me will never be forgotten)



Don't fuck with the laughing jesus.

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Re: asking for relationship advise, was i wrong? [Re: coda]
    #7143744 -

question, how long have you guys been together?

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Re: asking for relationship advise, was i wrong? [Re: GnuBobo]
    #7143747 -

Was she a bitch for not making the effort to meet your friends? Yep. Were you a little too up in her shit for her not coming along? Yep.

GnuBobo said:
Sounds like you're smothering her, man.



I wouldn't say "smothering" but definately getting up in her shit. Never throw little pissy temper tantrums with women...they just will get annoyed with you and not respect you. Remain in control at all times. Never lose your cool.

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Re: asking for relationship advise, was i wrong? [Re: Crystal G]
    #7143850 -

Crystal G said:
question, how long have you guys been together?




about an hour and thirty seven minutes
give or take

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Re: asking for relationship advise, was i wrong? [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #7143854 -

Your avatar is so damn cute.

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Re: asking for relationship advise, was i wrong? [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #7143904 -

RandalFlagg said:
Was she a bitch for not making the effort to meet your friends?  Yep.  Were you a little too up in her shit for her not coming along?  Yep.

GnuBobo said:
Sounds like you're smothering her, man.



I wouldn't say "smothering" but definately getting up in her shit.  Never throw little pissy temper tantrums with women...they just will get annoyed with you and not respect you.  Remain in control at all times.  Never lose your cool.



:werd:

Things like this point out deep communication problems bro-- and they get worse, not better, if you don't tackle them hard, and sooner than later.

Good luck man-- it's a tough situation to be in... you have to talk to her...

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Re: asking for relationship advise, was i wrong? [Re: coAsTal]
    #7143964 -

Can't change his nature, though.  :shrug:  Well, most likely not with this girl.


--------------------
Jerry Garcia. JERRY GARCIA! JERRY GARCIA!!!!

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. [Re: ZippoZ]
    #7145438 -

.

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Re: asking for relationship advise, was i wrong? [Re: z_x_x_z]
    #7145515 -

Oftentimes problems in relating are amplified when both parties are behaving in a self absorbed fashion. One does need to take care of one's own business and there has to be some natural give and take (quid pro quo). Perhaps it would have been better if such things were planned more in advance? You may be more spontaneous while she may not relish the unexpected, that presents some potential difficulties...

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Re: asking for relationship advise, was i wrong? [Re: TODAY]
    #7145658 -

TODAY said:
maybe she doesn't want to meet your friends. maybe she's uncomfortable making small talk with new people or just being your sidearm while you all catch up. some people would rather stay in their comfort zone.



this sounds about right. i hate hanging out with my boyfriend and his friends cuz it's usually just akward.

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Re: asking for relationship advise, was i wrong? [Re: z_x_x_z]
    #7145925 -

dr_gonz said:
I hate to say it, but she's most likely already thinking about getting involved with another guy. Women are truly only good for the vaginas.

Run for your life. Never put faith in a woman



You would make a stellar mod for a relationship forum.

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Unfolding Nature Shop: Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order


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