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InvisibleDelyrium
lemonadeh.o.n.e.y.

Registered: 12/27/99
Posts: 5,941
Loc: vermont
The end of a long term relationship
    #3350724 - 11/12/04 11:10 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

So after about 4 years - my relationship ended. it was getting kinda bumpy around the end and we both knew it. i thought i'd have a harder time dealing with it but i think it was just long over due.

now i'm seeing this other guy (oh ya and he has the same first name.. haha). i'm thrilled with him. we have such a great relationship and he can offer me more as far as being there for me and knowing what he wants to do with his future. it's nice.

my problem is - my exboyfriend won't even talk to me. it's not like this ended on a bad note so i don't understand. he's seeing someone (he told me and that was pretty much the last thing i've heard from him) and i'm happy for him! they seem to match up a lot better than him and i did. but it's like - because he is seeing this girl - he can't still be friendly with me? 4 years... that's a lot. i just am a little pissed off over that. ya know? you can't just have people disapear from your life like that - i dunno. it's weird.


--------------------
Fuck Ted Nugent he?s a fucking jerk
I wish that he?d be gone
Chauvanistic republican
Kills animals cause he
Forgot how to write a song


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Invisibleadrug

Registered: 02/04/03
Posts: 15,800
Re: The end of a long term relationship [Re: Delyrium]
    #3350733 - 11/12/04 11:12 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Sometimes its better for people just to disappear out of your life like that, at least for a little while.


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InvisibleShroomismM
Space Travellin
Male User Gallery
Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 02/13/00
Posts: 64,445
Loc: 9th Dimension
Re: The end of a long term relationship [Re: Delyrium]
    #3350743 - 11/12/04 11:15 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

one needs to redefine oneself
I just got out of an almost 5 year relationship a few months ago> I feel the same way. I don't even want to talk to her. Maybe I'm just an asshole.. but there's too many what ifs and what could-have-beens. it's painful.. It's a time thing. I think. I fucking hope. I'm lonely.


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OfflineSilven
I trip,therefore weare.

Registered: 08/30/04
Posts: 2,071
Loc: El Mexicano
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
Re: The end of a long term relationship [Re: Delyrium]
    #3350749 - 11/12/04 11:17 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

I got out of my relationship a year and a half ago, and recently (4 months ago) got back into it and it seemed great again and then recently (within the past month) shit has went back to the way it used to be.. We didn't talk for the whole year we were broke up.. I wish we wouldn't have talked now as I want to end it again and just don't know how to go about it as I don't want to hurt her, I just want us to both be out of this relationship... Talking about it is probably my best bet, but it's so hard to find the right words sometimes without coming off as an asshole.


--------------------
Born: 10/31/83, which makes me a Scorpio.

1) Scorpios are the most highly sexed of all the signs of the zodiac.
2) Scorpios are prone to excesses: booze, drugs, sex, bad puns, etc.
They usually exploit the weaknesses of others, who fall victim to
their capacity for total lust & sexual abberation.
3) Scorpios possess great intellectual curiosity & creative talent. They
think they are rebels & are arrogant, proud, conceited, and worth every
penny of it.

What do you bring to the table?


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Offlinefloydguitar
smooth guitarist

Registered: 10/14/04
Posts: 187
Last seen: 10 years, 7 months
Re: The end of a long term relationship [Re: Silven]
    #3350801 - 11/12/04 11:33 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

still in a five year relationship, been dating since we were 16. if we broke up we probably would not talk. it would be kind of weird talking to her knowing she had another boyfriend, would kind of piss me off i guess. it is probably easier for him to get over you and the fact you have another boyfriend by just cutting you off completely. anyway good luck.


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Offlinegrphish
the Modern dayPacman

Registered: 04/01/02
Posts: 1,687
Last seen: 2 years, 23 days
Re: The end of a long term relationship [Re: floydguitar]
    #3350812 - 11/12/04 11:37 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

of course he doesn't wanna talk to you
he knows its not going to lead anywhere, just more heartache
and everything bad that happened to him comes with you
so don't be such a girl and try to find ways to make this easier on you and blame him on how ' he doesn't talk to you '
you're the one jumping into this new guy and having so much fun. im sure the guy's girl is just some rebound girl that was always there, im willing to bet he got with her when he was pissed drunk as well :#


--------------------
BoUnCy BaLL IS All SoUrCe OF LIGhT AnD HaPPiNeSS!!~! *bEEP* *beEP*


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Invisiblechillywicket
feel like astranger

Registered: 11/06/04
Posts: 48
Loc: Charm City
Re: The end of a long term relationship [Re: Silven]
    #3350817 - 11/12/04 11:38 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Me and my girl broke up a week and a half ago, we went out for 2 years. I sometimes mistake a relationship for love when all it was, was a decent, friendly, and close relationship that neither of us really had in our lives at the time we met. So now I'm just trying to surround myself with encouraging and positive people, just so I don't get confused or mistaken by love again. Seems like a bunch of breakups been happening, tis the season of change.


--------------------
"Space is fun alright."


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Invisiblesucklesworth
Lick me where Ipee
Registered: 08/01/03
Posts: 54,259
Loc: If I was up yer ass you'd...
Re: The end of a long term relationship [Re: Delyrium]
    #3350830 - 11/12/04 11:42 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

you got what you wanted

now you don't like it

too bad so sad


--------------------


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OfflineBillytheKid
Forgeddaboudit!

Registered: 10/18/04
Posts: 149
Loc: Connecticut
Last seen: 11 years, 11 months
Re: The end of a long term relationship [Re: Delyrium]
    #3351613 - 11/12/04 03:08 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Delyrium said:
So after about 4 years - my relationship ended. it was getting kinda bumpy around the end and we both knew it. i thought i'd have a harder time dealing with it but i think it was just long over due.

now i'm seeing this other guy (oh ya and he has the same first name.. haha). i'm thrilled with him. we have such a great relationship and he can offer me more as far as being there for me and knowing what he wants to do with his future. it's nice.

my problem is - my exboyfriend won't even talk to me. it's not like this ended on a bad note so i don't understand. he's seeing someone (he told me and that was pretty much the last thing i've heard from him) and i'm happy for him! they seem to match up a lot better than him and i did. but it's like - because he is seeing this girl - he can't still be friendly with me? 4 years... that's a lot. i just am a little pissed off over that. ya know? you can't just have people disapear from your life like that - i dunno. it's weird.




3 things.

1. sorry to hear about, it i hope youre ok.

2. make sure you take enough time, and are not rebounding.

3. I think i can empithise with your Ex... i dont talk to ANY of my Ex's at all because its either too hard, or awkward because once you have a sexual romantically involved relationshiip is damned near impossible to de-evolve into a lesser relationship, its just easier to cut it off. And sometimes once you know someone one ay (boyfriend/girlfriend) it is too hard to see them any other way. But not impossible.


--------------------
Bingo!


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OfflineSilven
I trip,therefore weare.

Registered: 08/30/04
Posts: 2,071
Loc: El Mexicano
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
Re: The end of a long term relationship [Re: BillytheKid]
    #3351626 - 11/12/04 03:10 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Billy, I think you hit the mark. :thumbup:

I feel the same way about point 3.


--------------------
Born: 10/31/83, which makes me a Scorpio.

1) Scorpios are the most highly sexed of all the signs of the zodiac.
2) Scorpios are prone to excesses: booze, drugs, sex, bad puns, etc.
They usually exploit the weaknesses of others, who fall victim to
their capacity for total lust & sexual abberation.
3) Scorpios possess great intellectual curiosity & creative talent. They
think they are rebels & are arrogant, proud, conceited, and worth every
penny of it.

What do you bring to the table?


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InvisibleVvellum
Stranger

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 10,920
Re: The end of a long term relationship [Re: Delyrium]
    #3351629 - 11/12/04 03:11 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

no, you need to cut off all communication - at least for a few months. you cannot go from love and sex to friendship so quickly - there will be emotions even if you think there isnt. there must be time off or else there will not be a friendship.


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InvisibleCorporal Kielbasa
 User Gallery

Registered: 05/29/04
Posts: 17,029
Re: The end of a long term relationship [Re: Delyrium]
    #3351661 - 11/12/04 03:16 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Sometimes it hurts to much to be part of some ones life or try to be when the actual relationship is over. My ex when we were only together for a year tore me up every time she tried to talk to me. I couldnt handle it. But after almost a year when I saw her at a show it was kinda cool.

Long relationships cut deeper then the sharpest knife and bleed much longer then the torn vein. Those cuts take the longest to heal and the scars grow much thicker and only time can fade the scars of love.


--------------------




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InvisibleShroomismM
Space Travellin
Male User Gallery
Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 02/13/00
Posts: 64,445
Loc: 9th Dimension
Re: The end of a long term relationship [Re: Corporal Kielbasa]
    #3351746 - 11/12/04 03:28 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

:frown:


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InvisibleCorporal Kielbasa
 User Gallery

Registered: 05/29/04
Posts: 17,029
Re: The end of a long term relationship [Re: Shroomism]
    #3351812 - 11/12/04 03:38 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Naw man its coo You need to feel that kinda pain sometimes. Keeps it real. I dont see how people can live these weird fairy tale like lifes like all blissfully happy n stuff. I put my self out on the limb and throw myself to the wolfs to know how it feels. Its all about learning expieriencing. I wouldnt mind comin down to Fl and chillin cuz I need that every couple years. My life is good right now but sometimes I need a reality check.


--------------------




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InvisibleVvellum
Stranger

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 10,920
Re: The end of a long term relationship [Re: Shroomism]
    #3351824 - 11/12/04 03:41 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

yeah man - cut all communication. fill the void with something else. its hard at first, but you'll be fine soon.


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Invisiblequestion_for_joo
i'm left. youall can bite me
Registered: 04/30/03
Posts: 1,591
Re: The end of a long term relationship [Re: Delyrium]
    #3351859 - 11/12/04 03:48 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Women like to try to emasculate their old boyfriends. They do this out of a sense of vindictiveness though they are too dumb to realize it about themselves.

If I met the girl who dumped me again I don't know what I would say to her. I imagine what she'd say to me. She'd say "hey, how's life?" and smile and want to hug and then she'd lead her new penis over to me for me to shake his hand. That is one way that feminist women try to emasculate ex boyfriends.

Oftentimes when relationships end there is sadness, but also anger and hate and it's all woven together in this sickly mixture. And when you remember it it just saps you and makes you feel weak.


--------------------
youi was a pig informatnt so you can go fuckyoruselfs


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InvisibleDelyrium
lemonadeh.o.n.e.y.

Registered: 12/27/99
Posts: 5,941
Loc: vermont
Re: The end of a long term relationship [Re: question_for_joo]
    #3351882 - 11/12/04 03:53 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

see i dont think it ended w/ anger or hurt on either side. that's why i dont understand. this new guy definately is not a rebound. it's great how my friends and family all accept this new guy and say that they think he's great for me. they can see me happier now.

i dont mean to emasculate my ex. not at all. he lives half across america from me anyway so he'd probably never meet my boyfriend - i just wanna see how everything is going with him. i know he wanted a job and i wanted to know if he got it or not. ya know... stuff like that.


--------------------
Fuck Ted Nugent he?s a fucking jerk
I wish that he?d be gone
Chauvanistic republican
Kills animals cause he
Forgot how to write a song


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OfflineSilven
I trip,therefore weare.

Registered: 08/30/04
Posts: 2,071
Loc: El Mexicano
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
Re: The end of a long term relationship [Re: Delyrium]
    #3351901 - 11/12/04 03:56 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Was it on mutual terms, or could he have perhaps had some regret and pain that he didn't show?

Us guys like to not show our pain and suffering to women, especially our ex's because it makes it even harder when we know that they know that we're hurt.

The thought of seeing you again could be ripping him up inside and it's probably best to just let him live his life as mean and sad as that sounds.


--------------------
Born: 10/31/83, which makes me a Scorpio.

1) Scorpios are the most highly sexed of all the signs of the zodiac.
2) Scorpios are prone to excesses: booze, drugs, sex, bad puns, etc.
They usually exploit the weaknesses of others, who fall victim to
their capacity for total lust & sexual abberation.
3) Scorpios possess great intellectual curiosity & creative talent. They
think they are rebels & are arrogant, proud, conceited, and worth every
penny of it.

What do you bring to the table?


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InvisibleDelyrium
lemonadeh.o.n.e.y.

Registered: 12/27/99
Posts: 5,941
Loc: vermont
Re: The end of a long term relationship [Re: Silven]
    #3351903 - 11/12/04 03:56 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

i dont know - he bounced back a lot faster than i did. i thought it was mutual but maybe i could be wrong. if anything - i would be the one hurt from all this but i was able to rationalize it all.


--------------------
Fuck Ted Nugent he?s a fucking jerk
I wish that he?d be gone
Chauvanistic republican
Kills animals cause he
Forgot how to write a song


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InvisibleShroomismM
Space Travellin
Male User Gallery
Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 02/13/00
Posts: 64,445
Loc: 9th Dimension
Re: The end of a long term relationship [Re: Vvellum]
    #3351912 - 11/12/04 03:58 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

seems my life is one reality check after another
fair tale lives... yeah maybe if your talking about one of those crazy ass fairy tales where everything goes wrong but somehow is happy in the end because everyone is on opium and shit

its not like I can completely cut off communication.. 5 years man. she knew/understood me better than anyone, I'm the one that fucked it up, we still love each other.. but there needed to be some kind of change. There really isn't anything to fill the void with I'm afraid to say, at least, I havent found it yet. I feel like I'm missing something important.. but fuck it all you know? I need some drugs


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