The other day a strange and wonderful thought occured. I say thought, it felt more of a realisation, as it was wrapped (wrapt) in memory, both vague and conscious.
I was watching an old episode of Friends and the narrative centered around Ross' child, who at the end of the episode had learnt to talk, to say a word or two. Once he had formed the first word he couldn't stop, he kept repeating it, much to Ross' delight.
It sparked this notion in me:
The Magic of Spoken Word, or simply, the Magic.
I wondered about other instances of this magic. I remembered the first time i ejaculated.
Now, let me qualify what i am talking about!
When the pail came back the well this time, on that day, at that moment, it seemed very much brimming, and i was happy, pleased, soothed. The form it took, almost ethereal. To me at least, but that is why i am trying to provoke a little discussion!
I'll continue.
I thought about the nature of the child learning to speak, perhaps it is important to think of the human child, but the difference between us and the animals we perceive in their communication is another branch of thought i haven't explored. Was it not a strange and wonderful kind of magic? There we are, the child. At this stage in our lives we are unlikely to form memory, to be able to recollect. But i tried to remember the feeling of my first word, or words. I felt i could recollect the ethereal pleasure! It seemed as real and cogent as any memory. It felt like a release even, in its wonder. As that child, joining the spoken word we had been experiencing, it was magic. Speaking is far removed from listening, many philosophies might tell us that. But think about it at basics. The inexperienced reality. Making such a reality, novelty, newness, even pride? Suddenly we exist in a different realm. We can talk, we have learnt to talk! These marvellous entities around us are one and the same! Instinct pushed our vocal chords into vibration and opened our mouths.
Slowly, we learn more words, we learn the communication. Is it slow and savoured? Probably, it seems to me like it would be. It is like learning the greatest game! Or is it? Is there yet more to come? You will probably need fortitude if so, it could be a severe shock to the system, yet more grace. (God/Mind/You)
Because eventually we lose that initial wonder, it becomes part of a cultural and societal system. Other pleasures of development take its place.
Maybe the child becomes a little entrenched in it all. School. Guilt and admission. Linear social gameplay. Unpleasant trials upon the heart and soul. But the magic remains. Perhaps unthought of in a long time. Dreaming childish dreams. Being.
So i'll go on to my immediate association at the time. Ejaculating for the first time. I remember it very clearly. I remember speaking with excitement and pride to my own equipment. Ejaculating was of course mixed up with developmental peer issues. But i was impressed and again, wonderous at the feeling, the actuality, the rite of passage as i continued my puberty to became a man.
The reason i associate it with learning to speak was the grandness of similarity, but too a psychadelic grandness of differentiation between the two events. It is linked to the fact that the memory of each is very different. One ethereal, one clear. Perhaps, one of the heart, one of the mind...
As i rushed to the bathroom for my first post-ejaculative clean up (forgive that this post has its moments of odd clinical pornography, please!) there was that definite sense of magic in the air, the one i felt i could remember from learning to speak. I could feel it and i could almost see it. I recall breathing it, even! It felt once more - wonderful ether, life wrapped in the heart, even if a little distanced, with (existential, holy, indefinable, social?) weight of the event that had taken place. A little more of the developing mind then and its realities. Yet still of the ubiquitous heart, moment and truth.
So ok. Two events. Wonder, an irrepresable sense of magic surround them both. A notion of the pure heart, and the humanistic but divine mind...
My wonder came to this... What is next? What is the third great leap of man and heart and mind? How sincerely do we want to live our dream?
The three in tandem, man, heart and mind. The magic. It exists. For a while i thought: 'drugs will bring me the magic, mushrooms, for example' (! pun intended) Now i think on that notion - yes, and no. We carry the magic with us. Blah blah maybe. More yes and no.
I just wonder at the indefinableness of our experience. For instance, i did acid not long ago, and i was left with a sense of revelation - its called acid, because the acid is... it doesnt send you to magic happy land! there is no instant grace, unearnt and unforaged and unstrived for! You cant just take a small dot of alleged psychadelic and expect a deliriously happy madness, whatever your understanding of the grade a/schedule 1 or whatever substance has led you to believe. Tales of friends and urban myths...
But that said, greater revelation must follow. The dream of life and the wonder and joy and heart and heartmind is in my hands. I consider that. I believe in that, and myself.
So what is the third great magic? Is it constant? Could it be an experience of mass consciousness?! How far will the magic within us take us? It is the waking up from the empirical dogmas we begin to learn and take at face value, on the wave of the Word, at school, at home, or with friends. It is waking up to the latent magic I have known. It is understanding my tools, and myself. And the world in which i exist. As one.
But i am excited. As my thoughts skipped, with my heart and wonder and love of it all, they came to their third... Their suppose if...
How real is real, and how much magic do i possess within?
Excitement, wonder, discovery, love, unbounded joy, peace, more...
The epicentre of the heartmind, the experience and a Promise
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