so expectations..

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wearejellyfish
Stranger

Registered: 11/20/06
Posts: 1,375
Last seen: 16 years, 9 months

so expectations..

#6928088 - 05/17/07 01:28 AM (19 years, 3 months ago)

lead to disappointment.

i went out to smoke a bowl.
and come back to watch family guy or futurama or something amazying.
on adult swim.
and what's on? somethin g horrible.

and btw
where i was smoking was so risky. i was worried about it.
but once i got smoking. i was like . hey. no one can see me. and because i can see everywhere if anyone sees me. and i smoked it niiicely.
and then i walked a bit.
hmm. well this is a more detailed story than i ever intended. but it's okay. caus ei'm content :laugh:

shit. igot distracted by aim. i get distracted by everything. anything. everything.
anyway. where was i?..

oh yeah, i walked a bit to sit down on another curb (and on a curb in the middle of where i was sitting at that moment and the place i was sitting when i smoked. i'm pretty sure he heard my lighter go off those times. but maybe he's high. or maybe he doesn't care. which is a problem i have. i think everyone cares. but, really. hardly anyone does.

okay so i'm sitting at this new curb smoking a clove. and i see some other kid walk by. some new kid. and i wonder to myself.. hmm is he like me? did he just smoke too?
oh. and the reason i wonder this so often is cause it seems like anyone who smokes smokes with friends. and whenever someone asks who i smoke with i say myself and they freak out. and okay. that's why i wonder this.

cause i liek to thinkthere are people out there doing the exact same thing i'm doing.
hm. i thought there was apoint to this story but i'm thinking of the end and it's nto really any point at all to this.

but.. i'll go on.
so i was done with my clove listening to a death cab song with syrofoam. and went to head back. adn two cars came to drop two girls off. two diferent girls. i'm sure these people don't know each other, they do not acknowledge each other.
and one girl is a girl that i smoked one party last term. we see each other a lot (i'm behind her so she doesn't even know i'm there. but this is other times) but never ever acknowledge each other. i look at her sometimes. to make eye contact. but i can't tell if she wants to acknowledge me and smile or not. but maybe she thinks the same thing i do?
i'll never know. maybe i sh oudl smile at her instead of just wonder and make some actual acknowledgment.

cause you know. if you go to a university and you see the same people like certain days at certain times cause they and you just got out of class and are walking past each other at the same time. you usually never acknowledge them and they don't you. but what if maybe they were like us. but we'd never know. maybe they'd be an amazing person to be friends with. but you'd never know. and just talking to them if you dont have a class with them. but just pass them. just imagine someone coming up to you on the sidewalk when youre walking to another class or home or elsewhere. and they just say hey whats up?
it would just be too awkward. i guess this just reminds me of that part in the film waking life where the girl acknowledges him and says how we're all ants. somethign i forget right now. but it was good and makes me think of this all the time.
um. lost track on that.
but.
this other girl
when i came down the steps i noticed her stumbling across the courtyard. and i wonder. is she drunk? or am i just too high? but then she plops down on the smoking bench in the middle of the courtyard. and i wonder. should i help her? but i can't. i'm high.
i'm sure she'll find her way. but that sucks. she is probably lonely as she walked drunkenly across this dark dorm courtyard.
and.
that is the end.
because i need to talk to someone on aim. because i've given you, shroomery, way too much of my high time.

and btw. i feel content.
and that's goooood.

Edited by wearejellyfish (05/17/07 01:44 AM)

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