Quote:

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/238388706.html
10 reasons why you shouldn't take shrooms & wear adult diapers
Date: 2006-11-21, 9:25PM PST


I've tried shrooms once before. My experience was a memorable one, to say the least. I saw crazy colors, couldn't understand a thing that anybody said, and thought that I peed on myself twice that night. Which is what leads me to my next story. One night, long long ago (eh, maybe like 2 months ago) my friends and I got ahold of some shrooms. I will use our "diaper" names to protect the innocent. My name is Pampers, and my friends are Luvs and Huggies. Luvs and Huggies had never done shrooms and have only heard about my crazy experience. I warned them about everything, but also told them that I thought I pissed my pants, and made sure that they knew not to pee on my expensive furniture. Luvs is notorious for having a weak bladder. So Huggies and I (aka Pampers) decided it would be in our best interest to go to the local Longs Drugs and buy some god forsaken Depends Adult Garments... aka DIAPERS, bitch. We weren't sure that Luvs would be down to wear a diaper, but after a lot of trickery and promises of never telling a soul, we got her to strap a bitch on. Here are MY top 10 reasons why you should NOT wear an ADULT DIAPER in your MID 20's unless you are bed confined and can't get to the bathroom yourself.

10- It's fucking retarded. We didn't realize this until after they were already on our ripe little bottoms. We really thought that we had the BEST IDEA EVER (if you accidentally piss yourself, at least it's in a damn diaper, right??) and we ran with it. Now we have a secret that we can't let out, for fear of being tormented by our peers forever.

9- Diapers are uncomfortable. We know this, so trust us. I don't know how babies can wear them, but they make you fucking sweat, you get all hot... I'm surprised we didn't end the night with diaper rash.

8- They are fucking noisy! How the hell can old people sport these things in public without their spot gettin blown by all the crinkling going on in their pants??! The sounds were enough of a reminder of the DUMBEST THING WE EVER DID, let alone the vaginal sweating.

7- They ruin friendships. After we decided to take the diapers off, somebody threw one of the "used" ones into the front lawn. We got into a fat ass fight over the stray diaper because nobody wanted to pick the damn thing up. I knew I wasn't gonna pick it up, because I had no idea who's vagina it had touched. Oh well.

6- The damn diapers are so hard to put on! I had to have Huggies strap mine on, because I was too stupid to figure that shit out myself. Just know that the diapers don't come with an instruction manual, and they might out smart you... with all those sticky tabs and such.

5- You loose all respect for yourself (and others). There was one person in the house who didn't wear a diaper that night. He was the only one out of the whole bunch actually THINKING, and now he has lost all respect for the 3 of us.

4- BLACK MAIL IS A BITCH. That's all I can say.

3- You really don't pee on yourself while shroomin. At least we didn't. We wore those diapers in SHAME for like an hour, before we realized that we were STILL getting up and going to the BATHROOM like normal adults. We never peed on ourselves. We almost all wish we had pissed our pants, just to say it was worth it.

2- Now we can't stop talking about it. It's always a topic of conversation and it never gets old. We are in the process of writing poetry to express our emotions about the whole situation. Since we can't really talk about it with friends, poetry is our only outlet. And now, so is Craigslist.

1- Did I mention how STUPID we feel? Because we really do. We wore diapers, we have labeled ourselves the Diaper Trio or DT for short, and have remixed the words to GNR's Sweet Child Of Mine to Sweet Diaper Remains.


We found little bits and pieces of diaper in my front lawn for days after... we call them the Diaper Crumbs or---the remains. We will never forget you, remains. RIP.


<3, Huggies, Pampers and Luvs.

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Quote:

Ear kisser on BART... WTF?
Date: 2005-08-05, 12:00PM PDT


So I'm riding BART to Berkeley around 10:30 this morning. I transfered to a Richmond train at 12th St Oakland and took a seat. I'm hungover today and oblivious to my surroundings, just trying to make it to my office and I'm 2 hours late. not a great day.

anyways, the train stopped at Ashby and a woman (late 30's/early 40's w/short brown hair and glasses) sitting behind me gets up... keep in mind I never saw her when I got on, didn't know she was even there... no eye contact en route, no words were spoken... nothing... she kisses me on the ear (the lobe to be exact) with a slightly open mouth (I think). she walked off the train and barely looked back.

I was stunned, didn't move, could not get a word out. I'm feeling creeped out but fascinated in a completely non-sexual way and my ear feels weird on the spot she kissed.

What I want to know is... has this happened to other people? Is there a name for this behavior? AM I GOING TO DIE LATER?

jesus, I am prone to weird public transportation encounters but this was hands down weirder than when the woman started showing me her box of sex toys and when the bald german body builder with blood red glasses stared at me for twenty minutes straight like he was going to sacrifice my organs to his uber powerful forest god.

get back to me on this...

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suimush said:

shit i live in Richmond  

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Quote:

To My Dear Unconscious Friend
Date: 2005-11-30, 11:23PM PST


You raided my fridge, I see. I invite you over for some movies and a study session (yeah, I study, so what?) and you raid my fridge while I’m away at class.

You’re now asleep on my floor.

I know what you ate. I see the wrappers beside you.

You ate my brownies. My special brownies.

The ones my friend makes for me which work oh so well at easing those nasty pre-final jitters, and which allow me, thankfully, to sleep through the night when stress and panic would rob me of needed sleep. The fact that I can maintain nearly a 4.0 cumulative GPA argues in favor of the blessed grass of bliss... no brainless pot-head am I, oh no. Hell, if pot were responsible for my present place in life, I’d say more Americans need to do it. Anyway...

To my dear friend who is currently asleep...

I won’t shave your eyebrows.

I won’t draw things on your face.

I won’t play “drop the body part,” no matter how amusing it is to watch your limbs bounce lifelessly against the carpet.

I will not shove things up your nose.

I will not tickle your feet while you mumble helplessly for me to stop.

I will, however, take pictures of you. I will keep these pictures, especially the one with the drool, and will use them to my advantage when I need you to do things for me. Like open pickle jars, and keep my door from going squeark.

I’m a good friend, you know. You’ve no idea how good a friend I am.

You brownie thief. Next time, follow directions. “Don’t eat this” means, simply enough, “don’t eat this”.


Don’t steal my food. If you pee your pants in your sleep because you’re too sleepy to use the toilet, I will take pictures of this too.

I’ve got a digital camera and I’m not afraid to use it.

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ganjaguru said:

suimush said:

shit i live in Richmond  

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and you havent been shot?

Someone get this kid a medal.

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ive been shot. not with a real gun, a pelet gun though. I was walking down 23rd st and someone discharged it out of their car as the drove by. Fucking douchbags.

a 12 year old was arrested at my old job for having a gun.

this one dude was been beaten by 10 people in the theatre because he stood up and asked the gangsters to stop being loud and throwng candy cause they hit his mom.

a pregnant woman was killed a couple blocks away in a drive by, everyone knows who did it. they just cant prove it. No one says shit.
she had JUST moved in too. the people they were trying to kill moved out a month before.

a women was arrested for torturing her son and he commited suicide by drinking bleach, the mom watched it on a tv cause she kept a camera on him. A FUCKING 6 YEAR OLD!

the park down the street was set on fire cause the drug dealers were pissed about a fence that was removed.




The sad thing is i can go on forever.



i fucking hate this shithole.