My Saturday night at the bar (kinda long story, but worth it!)

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ToTheSummit
peregrinus

Registered: 08/23/99
Posts: 9,128
Loc: Las Vegas
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months

My Saturday night at the bar (kinda long story, but worth it!)

#5747433 - 06/13/06 11:26 PM (20 years, 4 months ago)

So Saturday night I go over to the local bar that I have staked out as my "home turf" here in Ocean Beach. Wife didn't want to go out so I walked over alone and started just drinking and talking to the regulars. All seemed normal except for a small group up by the door playing pool and being loud. It was two women and one man.

Eventually, one of the chicks steps up to the bar next to me and orders another round. They are drinking vodka shots...no ice, no mixers, just double shots of Kettle-One. As she is waiting for her drinks she turns her attention to me. We exchange the usual pleasantries (Hellos, names, etc). But within about one minute she begins to hit on me. And I'm not talking a little flirting here. I'm talking grabbing on to me and biting at my neck, asking if I'm a freak, and pretty much making it as obvious as possible that she would like to fuck me on the spot.

I defend myself from the unwanted advances but remain friendly and keep talking to her just thinking she is uber-drunk. She eventually tells me that I should come over to the table and meet "wife #1". :what:

I can't quite figure out what she means by this but as our conversation goes on it all starts to click. This guy is a polygamist and he is out at the bar with wives #1 and #2 (turns out that #3 is home watching the kids)!

So now I am intrigued. I've got to go over and meet these people! So I go sit at their table and start to get the story. They are from Utah (big suprise) and they came to San Diego to see wife #2's mother who is ill. They are all right around 40 years old. And they are currently looking to find another wife (#4). But as I sit with these people they are nothing like other polygamists I have known. Others were always very religious and striaght-laced types. But these people are going nuts. The two wives keep kissing on each other and they both keep taking turns with hubby. And they are all getting shitfaced. And to top it all off wife #2 can't keep her hands off of me! She keeps trying to stradle me on my bar stool and grabbing my hands and sticking them up her dress! I'm doing what I can to defend myself without being completely rude just because I am having such a blast listening to their story.

Eventually I have to get away from it all for a minute so I get up and walk out onto the sidewalk for a smoke (can't smoke in bars in Cali). Of course it only takes a minute and guess who shows up....yep, wife #2. She grabs me, starts to pull me down the sidewalk, and says "C'mon, we're going down to the beach!" I pull away from her and say "Look! First of all, lets forget that I am married (I had already talked about my wife with them), assume I wasn't completely feaked out by you, and I actually wanted to do this. Theres no way in hell I'm gonna piss of that scary fucker in there!!" and I point through the window to her hubby. Let me tell you at this point that the husband was one very large and scary looking dude. The best celebrity look-alike I could muster would be Jesse Ventura. And drunk or not I wouldn't want to be on the wrong side of a guy that big!

She says "Don't worry, he lets me have what I want!" Then she yanks me into the doorway and announces to him (as well as everyone else at the bar) "Hey, I'm taking this guy down to the beach for a bit!" The guy turns to me and says "You can only fuck her in the ass." and gives me a big smile! :eek:

I'm standing there with my mouth hanging open wondering how fucking fast I can run home at the moment! I'm pretty sure I'm faster then any of these drunk fuckers and I suddenly just want to get as far away as possible. As I'm about ready to make my hasty exit my salvation appeared in the form of wife #1. She steps forward and says "Hey, this guy is married and I don't think thats cool! Besides, I want to go." So she (wife #1) gathered up wife#2 and the hubby and in less then a minute they were gone.

I stumble back to the bar, sit down, and order another beer. Soon we are all sitting around laughing at the freak show we had just witnessed. But I am laughing hardest, mostly out of relief that I survived the whole experience unscathed!

So I'll never forget the night the drunk polygamist bitch tried to pick me up!! :grin:

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You invented the wheel....You push the motherfucker!!

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